Content

• Steps

Sometimes you can be your own worst critic. If you criticize yourself regularly, it may seem that the critic in you is overactive. However, you don't have to be. Learn how to stop self-criticism with positive self-talk.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Evaluate Your Negative Self-Talk

1. 

   Identify the consequences of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk, or self-criticism, can add anxiety and reinforce other negative emotions. Recognizing the consequences of negative self-talk on yourself can help you identify reasons for changing negative self-talk and push yourself toward positive self-talk.
   • Consider the effect of negative self-talk on you: Did the action make you sad, angry or stressed? Will negative self-talk keep you from concentrating, overeating, or treating others badly?
   • Use the Impact, Belief, and Consequences Tables (ABC) to record and understand consequences. Create three columns on paper or on an Excel spreadsheet. Name the first column "Impact Event," the second column "Trust" and the third column "Consequences."
     • Under the Impact Events column, write your answers to the following questions: What happened when you first started feeling that way? Then what do you do? Who do you live with? Where have you been? When was that moment?
     • Under the Trust column, enter your answers to the following questions: What were your thoughts at that moment? What does that say or say about you? What's the worst that could happen?
     • Under the Consequences column, record your responses to the questions: Describe your feelings in one word, and rate the severity between 0% and 100%. How does your body feel? What did you do? What did you want to do?

2. 

   
   
   Summarize your negative self-talk. Your voice memo is simply the things you say to yourself, whether it's out loud or your thoughts. Negative self-talk, or self-criticism, can cause you to perform worse in certain situations (for example, in competitive sports).
   • Make a list of the negative things you would normally tell yourself in certain situations. For example, sometimes you drop something and say, "I'm stupid." Or sometimes you get up late to work and say, "I'm always like that! I can't do anything right." Those are examples of how you criticize yourself.

3. 

   
   
   Keep a critical thought journal to organize your ideas. To start a thought journal, you can jot down your responses to the following questions:
   • Describe the situation. What, where, when, with whom? What were you / did then?
   • What critical thoughts came to mind?
   • How did you feel when thinking that way?
   • How much do you believe those thoughts (from 0 to 100%)? In this case, 0% is completely disbelief and 100% completely disbelieved.
   • Is this what you think about yourself? Who said these things to you?
   • Is there any other way of looking at the situation? How will others consider and understand this situation? What would you say if one of your friends was in a similar situation? Is this the truth or just an opinion?
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Method 2 of 3: Coping with Negative Self-Talks

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   Use positive self-talk to stop the critic in your mind from criticizing. In contrast to negative self-talk, positive self-talk is a surefire way to successfully deal with self-criticism. First, notice and capture the moment when you have a negative thought, then immediately change your mindset to a more positive one.
   • Treat negative thoughts like a parrot repeating useless things to you. You can choose to listen to that parrot, or tell him it's wrong!

2. 

   List alternative positive thoughts. You can use statements like, “I can do it. This will be over soon. I can get angry and still deal with it. I'm still safe now. I will learn from this incident and it will be easier next time. ”
   • Once you have your complete list of negative self-talk signs, you can identify ways to convert those negative thoughts into more positive or realistic ones. For example, if you think, "I'm stupid," when you drop something or do something wrong, you can immediately tell yourself, "It's not good thinking about yourself. I'm not stupid. Making mistakes is normal and I'll focus on doing better next time. ” This way, you are chatting with yourself. The more you talk to yourself, the better you will be when you correct your negative thoughts.
   • You can use the loving self-thought note pad to organize your ideas. With this table, you can identify impactful events, emotions or images, useless thoughts, images and feelings, and expressions of love for yourself instead of thoughts. and useless images (specifically, what would you say if your friends were in a similar situation?), your understanding of emotional changes, and the helpful things you did.

3. 

   Practice deep breathing to reduce anxiety. Anxiety affects and intensifies negative self-talk. The more you worry, the more severe you will be on yourself. One of the best ways to stay calm is through relaxation techniques or deep breathing.
   • Sit in a comfortable position, eyes closed. Take a slow, deep breath, inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Focus only on the rhythm of your breathing and the sensation of the breath in your body, especially the diaphragm / stomach movements as you breathe. Do this for a few minutes or until you are more relaxed.

4. 

   Worry less about other people's thinking. Sometimes, you criticize yourself for your understanding of what others think of you. This is a popular way of thinking - called "mind reading." This means you believe you know what other people are thinking. The problem is that you can't read other people's minds, so you don't really know what they think. Make a conscious decision to stop trying to live up to the expectations you think others are placing on you. You will feel quite free.
   • If you find yourself thinking that others are thinking negatively about you, ask yourself, “Am I admitting that I know what others think? What evidence shows that? It's just my mindset. Is there a more balanced way of looking at this? ”
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Method 3 of 3: Accepting Yourself

1. 

   Practice accepting yourself. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is a form of therapy that helps people accept who they are and strive to achieve their goals. As you practice this approach, you will learn how to accept yourself to reduce your self-criticism habit.
   • Try using the table at getselfhelp.co.uk to practice accepting yourself. Fill in the blanks below:
     • Impact Event (what happened) __________________
     • Your thoughts (the things in your mind) ______________
     • Consequences of believing those thoughts ____________
     • Alternative balance thoughts ______________________
     • How would you mitigate the severity of the situation (treat those thoughts as fleeting emotions and face them appropriately) _________________

2. 

   Normalize your experiences. Normalization is a common therapeutic technique, because it assists the practitioner in understanding that their experience is common and normal. This technique will help people relax and be more willing to accept themselves and the situation.
   • For example, maybe you tend to be quiet when in a group, and you want yourself to talk more. Another person who is at the center of all the fun wants himself to listen better.

3. 

   Easier for yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself! You are unique. Everyone has difficulties and points for improvement. You are also perfecting yourself! There will always be things you need to learn to develop an effective lifestyle. You can learn to live more effectively, maintain healthy relationships with yourself and those around you, add happiness and reduce anxiety.
   • If you find yourself thinking negatively, try to love yourself a little more. Understand yourself as if you know your friends.
   • If you have great expectations for yourself, try to focus on the things you've done well. When necessary, adjust your expectations and give yourself time to breathe or rest.

4. 

   Distract your thoughts. Distracting or grounding techniques can be a great way to deal with emotional trauma (anxiety, depression) that often comes with thoughts and self-criticism.
   • One way to distract your thoughts is to laugh out loud. Smile really is possibly the most effective medicine, and has been shown to improve overall health. Try watching a comedy, a monologue comedy show, or play a fun game.
   • Join active activities. Doing things that make you happy are great ways to change your mood and help you cope with thoughts that are critical of yourself.
   • Go somewhere that makes you happy. This could be a park, a shopping mall, a pet store or a friend's house.

5. 

   Focus on your positive traits. Sometimes you worry too much about challenges without thinking about the positive aspects of you! Care for and encourage good personality traits in yourself to boost your self-confidence.
   • You can use the positive trait chart to organize your strengths. Identify your positive traits, positive ways people describe you, and what others have said about your positive personality traits in the past.
   • Try drawing a flower and applying each of the positive features to each petal. Try that chart.

6. 

   Don't tolerate criticism from others. Please prevent people from criticizing you. How you allow others to treat you will greatly affect the way you treat yourself.
   • If your friends bully you, find new friends!
   • If your co-workers are mean to you, you have to decide if it is worthwhile to be around people who treat you badly.
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