Content

• Steps

Emotional hatred towards someone may cause you to want to harm them when you become angry. However, hitting someone doesn't seem to solve any of the problems and it will return to haunt you in guilt, leave a bad reputation, or even cause a lawsuit. Being able to control your emotions and resolve conflicts will help you find a non-violent way to cope with your emotions.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Calm

1. 

   Leave. Stay away from people you want to attack. If you feel very angry, it is better to leave (even without telling anyone why) and give yourself time to calm down instead of having a brawl.
   • If you are with a friend, decide if you should be alone or talk about your anger with that friend.

2. 

   
   
   Deep breath. To benefit from relaxation by breathing deeply, you need to breathe deeply through your abdomen. Place your hand on your diaphragm (between your belly and chest) and inhale so deeply that your hands will move with your abdomen as your abdomen swells. Then slowly exhale.
   • Focus on your breath and do it 8-10 breaths or until you feel like you've regained control of your emotions.

3. 

   
   
   Helpful? Try regular muscle relaxation. Continuous muscle relaxation involves muscle tension and continuous body relaxation. Consciously tense your muscles will help you convert anger into another form. To practice continuous muscle relaxation, take a few deep breaths, and then do the following:
   • Start with the face and head muscles. Keep your muscles tense for 20 seconds, then relax them.
   • Do the same for the muscle areas of the body from top to bottom. Tense and stretch the muscles in your shoulders, arms, back, hands, abdomen, legs, feet, and toes.
   • Take a deep breath, relaxing the muscles from your toes to your head.

4. 

   
   
   Talk to yourself in a positive way. Repeat a useful mantra for yourself like: "I can control my actions". Try to reframe negative thoughts about someone in a more positive way. Change your mindset (aka "cognitive restructuring") from focusing on irrationally negative or frustrating thoughts to more realistic thoughts. Positive thinking can help you resist acts of violence.
   • For example, instead of thinking, "I hate this person and I want to hit him", you might think: "I don't need to spend time with this person, I can get over the act of violence".

5. 

   Distract yourself to forget your anger. Finding a pleasant distraction to forget about the people who are making you angry can help you overcome your anger and maintain control over your actions. A distracting activity can be something you enjoy like playing a video game, shopping, going for a walk, engaging in a favorite activity, or playing a game of billiards with a friend.

6. 

   Remind yourself that the anger is not worth it. Even if you think you can get real satisfaction from punching someone you hate, it doesn't seem to make you feel any better the way you thought it would be. In addition, you may be arrested or sued for assault, which costs money and time.
   • You can say to yourself, "Even though this guy annoys me, he's not worth my time. It's not worth wasting time at work and going to jail or court. "I don't want to waste energy on this guy while on the road. I'll leave instead of being involved with him."

7. 

   Limit alcohol intake. If you are in a situation where you have to be around someone you don't like, don't drink. Drinking alcohol can cause you to conflict for some reason and interfere with your ability to control effective actions. advertisement

Method 2 of 4: Coping with anger

1. 

   Practice self-awareness. Knowing when you are about to lose self-awareness and tend to be violent can help before you fall into a state of loss of self-awareness. Monitor your body's thoughts and behaviors for signs of a flare-up. You could become violent if you start feeling:
   • Tense your muscles and clench your teeth
   • Headache or stomach pain
   • Increased heart rate
   • Suddenly sweating or shivering
   • Feeling dizzy

2. 

   Continue to develop conflict control. Most people don't intend to use violence, it happens in a moment of reacting to strong emotions or as a result of increased conflict. You can prevent yourself from responding to triggers of violence if you increase your conflict control. Some strategies for developing or enhancing conflict control include:
   • Practice delaying satisfaction. Practicing delaying satisfaction in other areas can actually help you develop general conflict control. For example, if you always sit down and watch your favorite show as soon as you get home from work, try changing your routine for an hour and getting some chores done first. Accepting this procrastination will help develop willpower.
   • Develop the "if-then" scenario first. For example, you might decide in advance: "If this person offends me or my friend, I will leave."
   • Health promotion. A few studies have linked strengthening muscle and body through regular exercise with increased control of conflict and willpower.

3. 

   Acknowledge your feelings. Accept that you hate someone and that you feel angry around them. Know that it's okay. You may not change the way you think or feel about another person, but you can always choose how to deal with them. Each time you speak or act, you are choosing the words and actions that you will use.
   • For example, you might think to yourself, “I don't like this person. The way he talks to me and my friends makes me want to hit him. It's okay to feel angry and dislike someone, but I won't let him take advantage of me by dragging me into a fight.

4. 

   Exercise in moderation. Exercise can help release "angry energy". It also helps you feel better by activating endorphins in your brain, the neurotransmitters that make you feel happier.
   • The right exercise can help regulate your emotions and strengthen conflict control over time, and make you feel more comfortable in the moment.
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Method 3 of 4: Practice conflict resolution

1. 

   Identify conflict. Conflict occurs when differences in opinion escalate to the point of affecting interpersonal relationships. Often there are strong emotions associated with conflict. Conflicts do not usually go away on their own when not specifically resolved.

2. 

   Focus on maintaining or healing the relationship. Even if you don't like or hate the person you have a conflict with, it's probably the conflict that is making you feel that way. Shaping an approach to conflict resolution that is intended to support your relationship with the other person.

3. 

   Keep calm and alert. Staying calm will help you listen and respond appropriately to the other person's point of view. Staying calm can also help you keep the conflict from escalating, as the person involved in the conflict reacts positively with a calm demeanor.

4. 

   Emotional control. This can be difficult, but it is important to maintain emotional control when conflict is involved. This doesn't mean you can't feel or even express your feelings; It just means that you shouldn't allow emotions to dictate actions or attitudes.
   • In addition, understanding your own feelings can help you see how the other person's feelings are involved in the conflict. This will help you sympathize with the other person's point of view.

5. 

   Acknowledge the other person's feelings and words. This can be difficult sometimes if you are in conflict with someone you don't like.However, accepting the feelings of the person involved will help resolve the conflict. It helps you understand why the other person is acting their way. Acknowledging another person's feelings can clearly help them realize how well you understand them. That can reduce the stressful situation.

6. 

   Maintain respect for differences in personality or opinion. Some conflicts arise from differences of opinion that are not resolved. Maintain respect for someone even if you do not reach agreement on a conflict issue.

7. 

   Find a solution to the conflict between you guys. The key to finding a solution or handling conflict involves working together to identify specific problems and come up with solutions. This may involve flexibility and bargaining power, but if both of you (or everyone) are willing to work together, you will find a solution. advertisement

Method 4 of 4: Get professional help

1. 

   Determine if you have a problem with your anger. If you feel inclined to hit someone, you are probably having a anger problem. Anger can be beneficial and also harmful. You may need to deal with anger issues through self-reliance or professional help if you encounter the following:
   • A few unimportant things make you angry.
   • When you are angry, you display aggressive behavior, including yelling, yelling, or hitting someone.
   • The problem persisted; it happens often.
   • When you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you become more upset and act more violent.

2. 

   Learn how to meditate. Meditation can help you regulate your emotions. If you feel like you are overly focused on your negative feelings toward others, take a short mental break with meditation. Regular meditation can help you control your emotions, which helps you stay in control of your actions.
   • Breathe slowly and deeply. Maintaining this breathing will lower your heart rate. The breath should be deep enough for the abdomen to rise when "inhale".
   • Visualize a white gold light surrounding your body as you inhale, relaxing your mind. As you exhale, visualize dull or dark colors coming out of your body.
   • Make a habit of meditating every morning, even when you're not angry. This will make you feel more calm in general.

3. 

   Join a anger management class. Anger control programs have been shown to be very successful. Effective programs help you understand anger, develop short-term strategies for dealing with anger, and build emotional control skills. There are many options for you to find a program that is right for you.
   • There may be a number of individual programs available in your area, and they are for certain age groups, occupations or life circumstances.
   • To find the right anger management program for you, try searching online for “anger management classes” with the name of your city, state or region. You can also find some suitable programs by asking your doctor or therapist, or by consulting a self-improvement course at the community center.

4. 

   Seek treatment. The best way to keep yourself from hitting others is to identify and treat the source of your anger. A therapist can provide you with a few relaxation techniques to use when dealing with someone you don't like. They will help you develop some emotional coping skills and communication practice. In addition, a psychologist specialized in helping you deal with problems from the past (such as neglect or abuse from childhood) can help ease the anger associated with past events. .
   • You can find a therapist who specializes in anger management in your area. For example, visit this website if you are living in North America and this website if you are living in the UK.
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