Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Many people are by nature extremely shy and uncomfortable dealing with strangers. Maybe they will curl up, away from the crowd, and live in their own world. Once they are comfortable with someone, they show more and can be great in contact. At this point, you may not remember how shy the person was or how he acted the first time he met. Join us to learn to break the initial shyness and get to know this shy friend.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Approaching a shy person

1. 

   Do not go to the same group of friends, let alone approach. Smile in a friendly and warm way. Calm and polite. Introduce yourself and ask for your name. Try not to start talking in an overly excited tone of voice, it can become too much for a shy person. Speak softly in a moderate tone.
   • Sure you approached in a friendly and charismatic way but at the same time, not too excited to be unreal. You can say something like: "Hey, I noticed you standing alone. I'm An, and what's your name?".
   • Instead of going out in a group approach, reaching out alone increases the likelihood that the person will interact with you. Shy people often feel overwhelmed and intimidated when faced with many people.

2. 

   
   
   Limit eye contact at first. Shy people have a tendency to be shy or confused in social situations. This feeling intensified under the attentive gaze. Repeatedly looking at someone can feel intimidating. So, regularly move your eyes to make your new friend more comfortable.
   • Science has shown that eye contact increases self-awareness - an uncomfortable state for extremely shy people.
   • To make the person more comfortable with you, aim to make eye contact 30-60% of the time. In general, when listening, you should make eye contact a little more than when you speak.
   • To make your new friend more comfortable with you, stand aside instead of facing. Usually, doing so reduces the feeling of intimidation. Just make sure you turn slightly toward them to show interest and interest in the conversation.

3. 

   
   
   Ask open-ended questions. To pull shy people out of their covers, you can start by asking a few questions. Open questions need more than just "yes" or "no" when the answer is the best option. This type of question allows the listener to answer for themselves rather than limiting them to certain choices. They also give the potential friend the opportunity to choose the level of exchange they want.
   • For example, if you are attending a meeting and want to talk to someone with a shy nature who is always hiding in a corner or leaning against the wall, you could ask: "So, how do you know? The owner of this meeting? ".
   • Other open-ended questions might include: "What brought you here today?", "What do you usually do for fun?" or "What's your impression of the movie?".

4. 

   
   
   Learn to accept silence. Communication is a natural process of increasing or decreasing speech, listening, and silence. As an extrovert, you may think that silence is a dangerous sign of failure in social communication. That's not right. A few seconds of silence is perfectly okay, especially when talking to a shy person. They may need more time to process information and give responses accordingly. When you've been quiet for a while, simply start a new topic or take the opportunity to end the conversation.
   • If you want to continue talking, you can try to find a connection with something that was said before, such as: "So, you said that your brother works about cars, right?".
   • If you want to free the two of you from the awkward silence, you can say, "Mai, nice to meet you. We'll talk to you later".

5. 

   Let the first meeting take place quickly. Even if there was no awkward silence that threatened the conversation, a brief and sweet first encounter is still a good idea. Once the two of you have made a brief contact, find a natural pause to end the conversation.
   • Shy people need time to get to know people and new situations. Expect that by limiting your initial interactions and gradually prolonging your exposure as they become more comfortable with you.
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Part 2 of 3: Strengthening the connection between the two

1. 

   Be ready for a conversation. If you really want to make friends with an extremely shy person, you will have to initiate the conversation. That is, you need to prepare some way of talking and often open up when the conversation falls silent.
   • Of course, in some cases, a shy person can quickly adapt and begin to interact more. However, in the early stages of a friendship, you need to be ready to open up and / or lead the conversation.

2. 

   Discuss common interests. When talking to a shy person, you should probably avoid gossiping. In general, many introverts enjoy deep and entertaining conversations, as opposed to superficial topics like the weather or weekend plans.
   • Try to encourage your shy friend by observing things they seem to be interested in discussing. Let's focus on these topics.
   • For example, if your friend seems excited about mentioning a reality show, let them be told in more detail about the topic. You might ask: "Who is your favorite character? Why?" or "Tell me about the episode that officially made you a fan of this show".

3. 

   Show open body language. Shy people are often afraid of social interactions and sometimes react to the situation with physiological cues such as sweating, heart palpitations or blushing. They often worry too much about how they see others. Build a more pleasant and less intimidating conversation. When with a shy friend, make sure:
   • Make eye contact from time to time (and don't expect to look back)
   • Towards them throughout the conversation.
   • Lean forward to show interest in conversation.
   • Don't cross your arms or legs, let them relax on your sides
   • Smile and nod to encourage them to continue

4. 

   Sharing secrets to increase intimacy and intimacy. Confessing is a courageous act and an effective way to turn an ordinary acquaintance into a true friend. Friends know private things that may not be known by outsiders. If you want to improve your relationship with a shy person, open up to them.
   • Friendliness is one of the most important characteristics of a friendship. You can achieve this by expressing yourself appropriately. However, it should be understood that sharing the deepest, darkest secrets is not necessary. In fact, doing so may frighten your new friend and run away from this sudden intimacy.
   • Start with something small but not widely known. You can even confirm this self-revelation by saying, "Many people don't know this but ...".
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Part 3 of 3: Respecting differences

1. 

   Don't take it personally when your significant other wants to be alone. People who are uncomfortable with social situations tend to be exhausted from long social interactions. Let them be alone and not be annoyed by it. The problem is not with you. He simply needs some time to recharge.
   • Even though he doesn't show it clearly, the shy friend may have been extremely uncomfortable the entire time he was in contact. Maybe they are already feeling anxious and want to run away from the conversation.

2. 

   Don't try to force your new friend to do something that makes them uncomfortable. An extrovert may think that all a shy friend needs to be able to struggle socially comfortably is just a little pressure. Shyness can be a serious social impediment, preventing the development of relationships in society as well as career. It can't go away on its own when you challenge someone to try something.
   • If you do, eventually, your friend will lose trust and leave you. You may have suggested something "interesting" for you to get involved with. However, if they don't seem interested, don't try to force them.

3. 

   Try not to ask why a person is shy or acting in a certain way. Commenting on your shy nature can also easily ruin a friendship. Treat them like you would any other person. Pointing out their shyness is completely unnecessary.
   • Asking why your friend is silent or saying they are "a shy person" can be quite insulting.
   • It can irritate your friend and become even more embarrassed. As a result, instead of opening your heart, your attitude can make them more withdrawn.

4. 

   Understand their shyness. By doing a little research, you can better understand and sympathize with your friend's social behavior. Science holds that shy people tend to be confused or frightened by social situations, especially when surrounded by new or unfamiliar people. Maybe their heart will beat very fast. It is also possible that the stomach will be very upset. Maybe they assume that people are looking and judging themselves.
   • Realizing that anyone is shy at one point or another will help you become a better friend. Your friend is just extremely shy.
   • Perhaps that person is not because they do not like or even want to avoid people. They are simply not comfortable with most social situations. Maybe she really wants to be integrated but doesn't know what to do. Help the person get that feeling of inclusion by not judging or naming their attitudes.

5. 

   Please be patient. Whether it's enduring awkward silence or waiting for your extremely shy friend to open up, you always need patience. Be sincere and kind, and one day the relationship you are trying to cultivate will flourish.
   • Don't push your new friend to open up. Let the friendship develop naturally. This way, both of you are comfortable with the progress of your friendship, and the shy friend can be himself around you.
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Advice

• Make sure you haven't approached them suddenly. Approach slowly and comfortably rather than scare them.
• Don't be in a hurry. Don't let them join a large group - it will make them feel uncomfortable.
• Be yourself instead of trying to be "cool". In most cases, you will be interesting in the eyes of others as you are.
• If they're really shy, don't try to be friends for just one day - let it go slowly, slowly.
• Just get acquainted, calm, polite, and enjoy what they say.
• Instead of gossiping, try to find topics that interest them. Shy people may be difficult to talk at first, but once they start talking about their favorite things, it can be difficult to talk about. stop their words!

Warning

• NEVER ask why they are so quiet or shy. Those are the worst things to say - they make them feel ashamed and uncomfortable. If you ask or say this, they may hate you. You have to pretend they're not shy and treat them like there's nothing wrong or awkward about their silence. Then they will open up to you too.
• Most people become shy because of fear that others will criticize or judge them. Be careful and don't say anything judgmental about the person's personality or interests. For example, don't say, "My friend said that, to him, you seem boring." Don't talk behind the scenes because most likely, it will reach their ears. On the contrary, mention something that makes you love them from time to time.
• Try not to approach a shy person with a group of friends as many arithmetic will find it extremely awkward and difficult to deal with too many new people at once and may become nervous because of you. .
• Don't be offensive - include anything that is prejudiced, sexist, racial, etc. Don't say anything targeting a particular group either. While your new friend may discuss these things, be polite, but don't mention it yourself.
• Don't push them into embarrassing, uncomfortable situations.
• Don't say: "Why don't you laugh?", "You look so tired ...". In many cases, they are uncomfortable and you will add to that discomfort. Instead, try telling them a joke or complimenting them.
• Be careful of eye contact. Looking too long can make a shy person feel like an ant crawl in a pan - as if they are being examined. Shy people will detect it very quickly, if not immediately, and react to the desire to flee.