Content

• Steps
• Warning

Although emotions are not true or false, some emotions can make you miserable if you go unnoticed. Fortunately, there are many techniques you can use for your mental health along with lifestyle changes to control and overcome negative emotions.

Steps

Method 1 of 6: Direct your focus to mind and body

1. 

   Pay attention every time you feel your emotions get out of control. The first step in controlling your emotions is recognizing when you lose control. Ask yourself how you feel physically and mentally, then find ways to identify your emotions at the moment. To capture emotions when things start to boil, you need concentration, awareness, and clear thinking; awareness will bring you back to the peaceful state of reality.
   • Your body will experience some sort of heart palpitations, muscle tension and shortness of breath or shortness of breath.
   • Mentally, you will begin to lose focus, feel anxious, scared or overwhelmed, or feel like you have no control over your thoughts.
   • Stay calm and focus on only one body response at a time. For example, if you suddenly feel anxious, pay attention to the emotion in your body: “My heart is beating really fast. My hands are sweating ”. You need to recognize and accept the emotion instead of judging what's going on.

2. 

   
   
   Deep breath to stay calm. When your emotions start to get out of control, your breathing will also go out of control, causing you to be stressed and anxious. Stop this emotional whirlwind as it happens by taking deep breaths to keep your mind and body calm. If you can, try purposeful deep breathing for the most effective solution.
   • To try this method, first place one hand on your chest and place the other hand on your abdomen. Next, take a slow, deep breath through your nose and count to 4. Feel the bulge in your chest and abdomen as you inhale.
   • Hold the breath for a second or two, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Try to take 6-10 deep breaths per minute.
   • If you find it difficult to both inhale and count to 4, you can start by counting to 2 and gradually increasing as you exercise. Try to breathe as deeply as possible.

3. 

   
   
   Focus on your body's sensations to help balance your mind. Losing your emotional control often makes you lose your sense of yourself and your reality; you get caught up in your emotions and lose awareness of what's going on. To cope with this, you need to direct your attention to your surroundings or to the sensations your body is experiencing.
   • Calm exercises use most or all of the 5 senses to help you return to reality. It is important to speak out loud because it can help direct your mind away from your emotions. Getting back in your body and focusing on the present moment is a way to calm you down and stop the cycle of emotions.
   • For example, you look around and say aloud what you see. Listen to the sound and describe it. Notice the smells there and see if you can taste any flavors on your tongue. You can say “Carpets and walls are of different blue tones, the pattern on the wall looks abstract in blue, red, gray and white. "I can smell the coffee coming from the room along with the old files."
   • Notice how you feel while sitting in a chair with coffee in hand.How do you feel about your clothes, are your muscles sore or tight? You can focus on simple things like the hand on your lap.
   • Make a hot cup of tea and focus on how it feels when you drink it at that moment. How does the cup of tea make you feel? What does the tea cup smell and taste like? Please describe it clearly.
   • Describe specifically the picture you see, listing as many details as possible.
   • Carry essential oils with you to smell when you feel stressed. Focus on essential oils and describe in detail how you feel about them.

4. 

   
   
   Relax your muscles to ease emotional and physical stress. Take the time to see your whole body to see where you are under stress, then force yourself to relax that part. Open your palms, relax your shoulders, and release the tension in your legs. Rotate your neck and shake your fingers. Relaxation is very effective at calming the mind.
   • If you are having trouble relaxing your body, try Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). You will systematically stretch and loosen muscle groups, starting with your toes and working upwards. Using such a method is helpful when you cannot focus on identifying the stress area.

5. 

   Imagine you are in a safe and peaceful place. Choose a place, realistic or imaginative, where you feel peaceful and peaceful. Close your eyes and visualize the place in as much detail as possible while you breathe deeply and evenly. Relax your body and let the peace of your mind settle down to settle your thoughts and feelings.
   • Your safe place can be the beach, spa, temple or your bedroom - anywhere that makes you feel safe and relaxed. Think about the sounds you hear, what you see, and the taste and texture.
   • If you cannot close your eyes or have a clear picture of a safe place, try a quick association. Remind yourself of peace and balance, and take a few deep, calm breaths.
   • If a negative emotion occurs during the visualization process, treat the emotion as an object that you can remove from a safe place. For example, stress is a stone that you can throw away and imagine how stress leaves your body when you throw it.

6. 

   Create your own "Happy Book" or "Joy Box". Add in fun memories like photos and mementos like your favorite concert tickets. Print inspirational quotes you like to add to your book or box. Add a list of thank you notes or a diary to your comfort items. For example, the box might contain funny books, some candies, a pretty mug, and a box of tea. Watch a book or box when negative emotions arise.
   • You can also create digital version books with photos, satire pictures, inspirational quotes, animations, ... to help you feel more comfortable.
   advertisement

Method 2 of 6: Cope with your emotions

1. 

   Determine your true feelings. Learning to recognize and name your emotions can help you manage your emotions when you feel out of balance. Take a deep breath, and force yourself to look directly at the emotions you are in, even when it hurts. Next, you ask yourself what is the cause of this emotion, and if that is hiding something else you are afraid of facing.
   • For example, ask yourself what stresses you about taking exams. The answer could be that it has a big impact on your future, or you feel like you have to do well to impress your family. Perhaps the root cause is fear that affection from home will depend on your success.
   • Naming emotions is probably a skill you haven't learned yet. Fortunately, you can use exercises from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) to help you learn how to name your emotions. Here is an interesting exercise to try: https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/What_Skills.pdf
   • Remember that there is no "wrong" feeling. Asking yourself not to feel something will hurt you more deeply. Instead, focus on your emotions without judgment. Accepting your emotions is natural and allowing yourself to feel it.
   • Treat your emotion as the character holding it, and then bring it back to the cause of it.
   • Identifying and naming real emotions underneath your emotional volatility helps you to control them. Now you can identify the cause of the emotion, you know it's just the feeling and it can't control you.

2. 

   
   
   Allow yourself to experience that feeling. Suppressing or ignoring an emotion will not make it go away. Emotions will still boil and reappear, so it's important to let yourself feel them. However, you don't have to chew your emotions. Instead, take a set amount of time, about 15-30 minutes, to deal with your feelings.
   • For example, you can phone a friend to talk or write your thoughts in a journal.
   • If you feel unhappy, take a moment to cry alone.
   • If you feel anger, stress, or jealousy in your body, you can work to release that emotion. Go for a walk or do some yoga moves.

3. 

   
   
   Think about what you can do about it. Sometimes you feel emotionally out of control because you can't find a way to control the situations around you. This can lead to “chewing”, getting caught up in a vicious cycle that makes you obsess about negative thoughts or feelings in an unhealthy, often vague way. Break this habit by focusing on the aspects of the problem you can handle.
   • Instead of re-enacting trouble at work with the mindset "Why am I so bad at work?", Make a list of things that you can adjust. Try talking to your boss about how to improve your productivity, get help from someone more experienced, or try a different stress management method.
   • Learn to accept things your powers cannot change. Getting rid of the idea that you need to "adjust" or "control" every aspect of things is one way to free yourself from stress and emotional fluctuations.

4. 

   
   
   Find the best way to move forward. When you're ready to take action, make sure it's a conscious choice, not a resistance to other conflicting emotions. Think how and why you want to handle it. Which of your values ​​does this reaction represent? Is such action appropriate or not?
   • Think about your moral principles. How do you want this to work? Which decision will make you most proud of? Next, you try to ask yourself which action will produce the results you want.
   • For example, when someone insults you, will you do nothing, react angrily, or stubbornly ask them to stop? Ask how you want to stop this and how to get there without compromising your beliefs.
   advertisement

Method 3 of 6: Respond to your emotions in a healthy way

1. 

   Learn to recognize your defenses and that of others. Being defenseless not only leads to the inability to control your emotions, but also causes others to think that you are too sensitive. You will defend yourself when you feel stressed, angry or attacked. However, it is important to listen to others, especially when it's constructive, not personal. You can face defense by reducing your fear of things and keeping curiosity towards other people's thinking. Here are a few signs of defense:
   • Tu refused to hear negative feedback
   • Justify your failures
   • Blame others
   • Crossing his arms over his chest makes others dare not speak up
   • Smile or nod to let the other person stop talking
   • List your reasons for being right without listening to others
   • Ignore other people's responses
   • Criticize or criticize others to distract your self-criticism.

2. 

   Be prepared to deal with emotional triggers. These factors can be the activity, the person, the place, the thing or the event that continually causes certain emotions to arise. When you understand these factors, you can plan and prepare yourself mentally.
   • For example, you often get angry every time you see your sister. Before your family reunion, find a way to relax, make a plan so you don't spend too much time with your sister throughout the day. You can plan to do something with other relatives, or make an excuse to go somewhere and leave the table. Limit your contact time and try to leave the meeting earlier, if necessary.

3. 

   Do nothing when someone tries to make you upset. If you know someone is bothering you to get angry, take a deep breath and stay calm. Speak up calmly and stop them from bothering you. When you stay calm, the person will get upset and stop their actions.
   • When you are ready to speak up, first calmly tell them about your feelings. You can say, "I get annoyed when I feel that you're just trying to make me lose my temper."
   • Next, talk about what's happening and encourage them to think about the problem, then listen and respond to their opinions. For example, you could say “Let's discuss this together, to try to finish the project on time. What do you think about this?"

4. 

   Relax when you're angry or upset. When you're angry, you can grind your teeth and become tense. Taking deep breaths and relaxing your muscles is a simple and effective way to ease your boiling sensation so you won't be doing things you will regret.

5. 

   Try doing the opposite of what you normally do. If you find yourself reacting strongly in the usual way, stop doing it. Take a moment to think about what will happen when you go against the usual response. How will the results change? If the results turn out to be positive or effective, try this new method over the old one.
   • For example, you may find it annoying that your spouse usually does not wash the dishes. Instead of starting an argument, you'll get to work washing dishes and politely ask your spouse for help.
   • If this sounds difficult, try starting to make small changes one at a time. Instead of shouting at your spouse, talk to them about your feelings in a calm voice. If it's still too difficult, you can choose to leave the situation and relax for 5 minutes. Gradually, you will also change your response in a positive way.

6. 

   Move out of a situation that makes you feel negative. Sometimes the best response is to leave and avoid triggers. If a situation can recur easily and doesn't hurt anyone, do what you can to separate yourself from the situation and your negative emotions.
   • For example, when you are assigned to a department with people not paying attention, you get frustrated by sitting in a meeting with them. The way to deal with anger is to ask to be transferred to another department.
   advertisement

Method 4 of 6: Conduct confident and straightforward

1. 

   Express your feelings directly and confidently. Learning to act frankly helps you express and control your emotions while making changes in unexpected situations. It's okay to say your thoughts or say no to things that make you uncomfortable or don't have time to participate, as long as you express it clearly and skillfully.
   • For example, if your friends invite you to a party, you could say, “Thank you for thinking of me! But I don't like crowds, so I had to miss this party. Can we have a coffee appointment next week? ” This allows you to express your feelings instead of holding them back and letting the emotions take over you.

2. 

   Use sentences with the pronoun "I" to state your point of view without blaming others. This communication helps you express your emotions without blaming or belittling others. Before making a statement that implies blame or judgment, stop and organize the sentence into your own comments or opinion.
   • For example, instead of saying, "I don't care about you," you could say, "I feel hurt when you don't call me as promised. What happened?"

3. 

   Encourage others to share their views. There is no situation where there is only one perspective. Encouraging others to share their thoughts can help you understand their point of view and create an equal conversation. Active listening can help you calm down, keep control of situations, and put you in a state of being more receptive to other people's ideas.
   • For example, after you share your opinion, ask more questions, "What do you think of this idea?"

4. 

   Avoid using judgment language like "should" and "must". Sentences like that bring feelings of blame that can lead to unintended anger and anger. When you find yourself using the word "should", "must", or words or sentences that express expectation, stop and remember that nobody and nothing is perfect. Challenge yourself by appreciating imperfection and accepting things the way it is.
   • For example, instead of thinking, "Your partner shouldn't hurt your feelings," remind yourself that they weren't on purpose and that both of you can make mistakes.
   • If you are hard on yourself, show kindness and empathy for yourself. For example, if you are thinking, “I should have studied this part for the test. I will be beaten only ”, change with the sentence“ I studied hard and prepared as carefully as possible. No matter what happens, I'll be fine ”.
   advertisement

Method 5 of 6: Establish an active routine that helps calm you down

1. 

   Exercise regularly to relax and relieve stress. Exercise, especially gentle and repetitive forms of exercise such as swimming, walking, or jogging, can help calm your mind and senses. You can also try yoga or Pilates, which focus on calming your mind through gentle muscle relaxation exercises and breathing techniques.

2. 

   Stimulate other senses in new ways to relax the body. Focus on the beauty and tranquility of the world around you to build a daily self-care routine. Focusing on gratitude and your senses can help calm you when you feel stressed or out of control. Try a few different methods like:
   • Listen to relaxing music.
   • Pet a dog or cat. In addition to focusing on the senses, research shows that regular contact with pets can reduce depression.
   • Stroll in a quiet place and focus on the beauty of the surroundings.
   • Take a bath or shower with warm water. The warmth on the body induces relaxation and gives a soothing sensation for most people.
   • Eat your favorite food and enjoy the taste.

3. 

   Touch to soothe yourself. Humans need loving touch to feel better. Positive touch causes the body to produce oxytocin, a hormone that improves mood, relieves stress and helps you feel more connected to others. When you feel unsettled, you can try the following:
   • Put your hands on your chest. Feel your heartbeat, the rise of your chest and the warmth of your skin. Say positive things to yourself like, "I deserve to be loved" or "I'm nice."
   • Hug yourself. Put your arms in front of your chest and place your hand on the upper arm, then squeeze yourself. Say positive words like "I love myself".
   • Place your hands on your cheeks as if you were a friend or a lover and stroke your face with your fingers. Say a few kind words to yourself like “I'm pretty. I'm kind. ”

4. 

   Practice meditation. Meditation is a great way to relieve anxiety and depression, as well as improve your ability to cope with stress. Regular mindfulness meditation also helps regulate your emotions. You can take a meditation class, use an online guided meditation app, or learn how to meditate on your own.
   • Sit upright in a quiet, comfortable place. Take a deep breath and focus on an element of your breath, like the sound or the swelling in your chest when you inhale.
   • Extend your focus to the rest of the body. Notice what your other senses are feeling as well.Try not to judge or focus too much on one feeling.
   • Accept each thought and feeling as it occurs and recognize without judgment by telling yourself, "I think my nose is itchy". If you feel your focus distracted, focus your attention on the breath.

5. 

   Say things to reassure yourself. The key principle of mindfulness is to accept reality without resistance or judgment. This is easier said than done, but you will find that as you practice the mindfulness method, your brain will begin to form new "habits". When you're in a tough situation, say reassuring things to yourself like:
   • I don't always feel the same way, this feeling will pass.
   • My thoughts and feelings are not true
   • I don't have to act on my feelings.
   • I'm fine in this moment, even if it's uncomfortable.
   • Emotions come and go, I've been able to get through this in the past.
   advertisement

Method 6 of 6: Towards long-term bliss

1. 

   Deal with the cause of your emotional fluctuations so you can get over it. If you often experience a loss of emotional control, try digging deeper into past events to find out why. Once you know the reasons for your emotional fluctuations, it can be easy to find ways to accept and heal.
   • Think of how your family handled conflicts in the past. Do your parents express or hide your feelings? Are there any feelings that are not well received? What is the emotion that makes you the most uncomfortable, and how did your family handle it?
   • You might also think about a turning point in your life, such as a divorce, the death of a loved one, or a big change like moving house or losing a job. How did you feel and how did you react?

2. 

   Test beliefs and habits based on fear or blindness. Identifying the cause of the emotional upheaval gives you the power to face and surpass the beliefs that cause the volatility. Observe the situation and objectively identify negative beliefs, such as fear or feelings of inadequacy. What caused the negative emotions? What can you do to face and overcome that?
   • For example, feeling that you are not good enough is seen as the thought of "not acknowledging the positives": if someone talks well about you, it doesn't matter, but if someone talks badly about you, then you think "knew it". Challenge this by noticing all the good things you do in life.
   • The emotional upheaval caused by fear can be understood as the tendency to make conclusions: you make negative judgments even when there is no truth to prove it. Challenge this thinking by stopping before each action and finding evidence for your conclusions.
   • No matter what complex negative emotions you recognize, you can challenge most of them by asking yourself what are the unbiased facts and showing empathy for yourself.

3. 

   Start with a journal to practice reflecting on yourself. Writing down your emotions can help you learn to identify your feelings. In addition, this is a way to help you identify your emotional triggers, and you will also learn which are helpful or not helpful in coping with your emotions.
   • Use a journal to identify your emotions, release things that make you feel bad, show empathy for yourself, think about the causes of some emotional reactions, take responsibility, and control your emotions. your.
   • Ask questions while writing in your journal, such as: How am I feeling? Did I think something happened that provoked this reaction? What should I do when I feel that way? Have I been like that before?

4. 

   Turn negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Learning how to be more active in your perspective will take time and effort, but this is how you can become more flexible when you encounter uncertain or unpleasant emotions and experiences. At the end of the day, write down 1 or 2 positive things that happened, even if it was just a good song you heard on the radio or a funny joke.
   • Practice replacing strong affirmations with sentences with more flexibility. For example, when you get stressed on an exam, you might think that there is no point in reviewing because you will fail the exam.
   • Instead of thinking that you can't improve, convert your thoughts to “I'll create more review papers and join a group study. I may not get the perfect score, but I know I did my best ”. Seeing it as something that can be changed with a little effort will give you more chance of success.

5. 

   Seek professional help. Sometimes you try to control your emotions but still feel overwhelmed. Talking with a mental health professional can help you recognize unhelpful emotional reactions, and learn more healthy new ways to manage your emotions.
   • Difficulty in regulating your emotions can sometimes be a sign of a more serious problem, like past abuse or trauma, or a sign of a disorder like depression.
   advertisement

Warning

• Controlling your emotions is important, but suppressing or denying the existence of your emotions is completely different. Emotional repression can cause physical disturbances and many emotional symptoms.