Content

• Steps
• Advice

Almost all of us know someone who specializes in making things more stressful and uncomfortable. Trying to prove that they are difficult and demanding won't do you any good - they may not even realize the problem.Whatever the cause - they have a mental illness or other profound problems, you can still learn to deal with those who are too imperfect to clear your mind.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Conflict Handling

1. 

   Don't make excuses. Stay calm, and keep in mind that you will never be able to win over an impossible person - there must be a reason for them to be called "outrageous". For them, you are the problem, and nothing will convince them to see the story from your point of view. He will always think: all your opinions are meaningless because you are faultless whatever.
   • Think about what you will say and the purpose of the conversation. Don't react impatiently when offended by them. You don't have to make any excuses for them.
   • When you talk, use the subject "I" instead of "you". For example, don't say, "You are wrong". Say something like, "I don't see it being true".

2. 

   
   
   Keep your distance, distract, and defuse conflict. Staying calm in anger is very important in self-defense. If you say angry things, or have outrageous emotions such as crying, impossible people will have even more reason to make it difficult for you. Don't be mindful of their actions, and don't let yourself express your feelings for what they do.
   • Take your emotions out of the situation and handle things alertly. The goal is not to let your emotions come out when you talk to them, keep your distance and not let what they say bother you.
   • Direct the conversation to a more positive topic by focusing on the things that are not causing the controversy. Talk about the weather, their fishing, their families - anything can distract them from controversy and not cause further conflict.
   • Remember: what you say or do in a moment of anger can be used against you. If you find it okay to endure angry judgments from now to decades, then feel free to react to them. Impossible people like you to say something bad to prove you're a bad person.
   • Don't judge them right or wrong, no matter how unreasonable they are. Judgment will only make you feel worse.

3. 

   
   
   Avoid arguing with them. If possible, don't disagree with impossible people. Find ways to agree or ignore them. Fighting will only make you express your feelings and speak angry words. This can also make it harder for you to think clearly and respond more sensibly.
   • Excessive people like to argue, so when you agree with them or what they say, you don't give them what they want. If you are called "You shit!" for example, go ahead and acknowledge that you did not behave well then. This will eliminate the excitement.

4. 

   
   
   You have to realize that you cannot speak to them properly. Talking politely to the impossible is almost impossible - for you at least. Recall the times you tried to discuss your relationship with them, and sometimes you were blamed on your own for all of your guilt.
   • Be quiet or cheerful with them whenever possible. Remember, you cannot "change" the impossible. Such people cannot and will never listen to arguments.
   • Avoid arguing with them. Don't meet the person alone. Always be with a third person. If your outrageous audience protests, just frankly ask for it.

5. 

   Ignore them. Impossible people love to be noticed, so when they know that you're not paying attention to them, they'll find someone else to fight. Stay away from their business and don't talk to them - or about them.
   • Impulsive people often have anger outbursts like a child. Unless their anger becomes dangerous and intimidating you should not be. Try to stay away from impossible people, or at least don't give them a reason to get angry.

6. 

   Ask thought-provoking questions. Ask them questions related to issues like "What's the matter?" or "Why do you feel that way?" may be helpful. This shows: you are attentive to the conversation and wish to find the cause of the conflict. Trying to judge from the perspective of the impossible can help you come to better conclusions.
   • Remember: the impossible person can respond to your question by trying to complicate things up, such as causing trouble, blaming, changing the subject, or more.

7. 

   Distract yourself. If the impossible person is about to give you up, get away from the situation immediately. Maybe that person wants you to go crazy, so prove it: they don't affect you at all. Leaving or doing something else will help you calm down.
   • Count silently from 1 to 10 if needed.
   • If the person is still overdoing it, just let it go. The person will have to stop seeing that they cannot provoke you.

8. 

   Be confident. Clearly state your point of view confidently and make eye contact with the other person as you speak. You shouldn't be weak to them. If you keep looking at the ground or somewhere behind them, the person may think you are weak. You should show that you are reasonable but not weak.

9. 

   Tactics change. Sometimes you just can't let it go, so treat it like a game. Find out the tactics of the impossibility and come up with a strategy to deal with them. Then you will see what is useful and what is not. Moreover, you will feel better knowing that you are always a few steps ahead of them, whatever they do will not beat you. But remember: the ultimate goal of this is to help you feel more at ease, not to win over them.
   • If that person shows up and whispers bad things to you when you're both out, they think you won't react. At that time, say aloud: "Do you really want to talk about it?". This will surprise the person and dare not act badly there.
   • Always anticipate the consequences of your actions if things don't go well.
   • If the person continues to find a way to reach you, don't be upset. Remember what happened and create a different strategy next time.
   • They won't be able to mess with you if you can anticipate their next words or actions.

10. 

    Pay attention to your body language. Always pay attention to your gestures and facial expressions when around those people. Body language will show our emotions a lot. You shouldn't unintentionally reveal your feelings. This will also help you stay calm, and may help the other person calm down.
    • Speak softly and move calmly.
    • Avoid using aggressive body language, such as eye gazing, aggressive gestures, pointing or facing the other person. Keep a calm expression, don't shake your head and don't encroach on their personal space.
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Part 2 of 4: Accepting The Situation

1. 

   See if the problem lies in harmony. Even if the person is able to communicate normally with other people, they may still be too harsh on you. There are people who simply can't match. Maybe both of you are fine, but when you are together, the two of you "ruffled" together.
   • When the person says, "Everyone loves me," they are blaming you. The way they treat others is irrelevant here. The problem lies in the way the two of you communicate. Remember: Blaming each other won't change the truth.

2. 

   Avoid provoking a "too harsh" attitude. We often react proportionally to our surroundings. Therefore, you may also inadvertently show attitudes that you hate. You may also engage in provocative or unreasonable behaviors in response to impulsive people. Take control when you realize that you are going to be like that, and try not to imitate those behaviors.

3. 

   Let's see what we can learn. Impossible people often have valuable life experiences. After interacting with impossible people, you will find it easier to communicate with others. Stick to your point of view, and realize that things that seem crazy to you may be someone's only way of handling a situation. Think of them as a way to build your strengths, such as flexibility, grace and selflessness.
   • Never judge a person's maturity by their age, intelligence or social status.

4. 

   Be prepared for emotional change. If you suddenly convince an impossible person that they made a mistake, that person is likely to be devastated. Instead of believing that he is always right, he will think: if I am wrong now, it means I will be wrong forever. This is how they deal to gain empathy from others.
   • Some people will react unexpectedly to surprise or confuse you. Maybe it was because that person did not anticipate it either. Don't let these unexpected behaviors intimidate you.
   • Don't let these people confuse you when they act like they are the victim. If they genuinely feel sorry for what they did, respond positively but don't let them manipulate you in this way.

5. 

   Focus on the good points. Many people have great strengths, let's focus on that. Maybe there are things they do really well, or maybe there was a time when the two of you had a good conversation. If you can't think of anything positive, tell yourself, "Everyone is precious" or "God loves her" to control yourself - even if you don't love or respect her. very much.

6. 

   Please talk to someone. If you know someone who can understand (a good friend, relative, counselor ...), talk to them. They may understand you and make you feel better. Ideally, the person is ignorant of the impossible person's personality and never falls into similar situations (eg co-workers).
   • Fill it out in your journal or join an online community if necessary.
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Part 3 of 4: Protect Yourself

1. 

   Protect your self-esteem. Maintaining a good image of someone who is always trying to defame you, this will help. Instead of listening to what the person has to say, focus on those who respect you and make you feel good. Remember: Impossible people want to hurt you to feel better on your own.
   • Understand that the impossible is the problem - not yours. This can be a little tricky because the over-the-top know how to blame and make you feel guilty. But if you take responsibility for your mistakes and try to improve yourself, you are not an extreme person at all.
   • When the person purposely says something that hurts you, remember that they do it just because they want to be praised by others. And you don't need the recognition they do.
   • If their insults don't have any truth, just let them go. You are not as bad as they want you and others to believe.

2. 

   
   
   Please protect your privacy. Impossible people often seek to use personal information against you, no matter how small it may be. They can weave your whole story and fiction into a bad person based on just one simple word of you. As experts at manipulating others, impossible people know how to open up and tell them stories.
   • Don't tell them anything personal, whether they appear normal or act like friends. What you say or share at that time can suddenly harm you in your private or work life.

3. 

   
   
   Be kind and cherish their bad sides. Be a "comfortable" person - be a prime example of forgiveness, patience, kindness, and kindness. Always a knowledgeable person. Evaluate all sides of an issue before making a conclusion.
   • Just as bad actions have a negative effect on us, when you become an altruistic, patient, and kind person, you can also change others for the better.
   • Realize that you are not perfect either. You don't have to get it right all the time, but always try. Always respect others. If you are not respected by the impossible person, understand that it is their problem, not yours.

4. 

   
   
   Don't focus on that person. Even if you cannot avoid that person every day, you should not think about them when you are not seeing each other. Being constantly stressed because the other person is no different from wasting their precious time, meanwhile, they don't care about you. Do other things, make new friends. That way, you won't waste time just thinking about their words and actions.

5. 

   You may be dealing with an abuser. People who are emotionally abusive can use words and actions to distract you. They often use slander, criticism, domination, blame, demanding and isolating feelings towards you, thereby making you dependent on them. Don't let what they say control who you are. What they say or do may originate from an unhappy childhood, or other problems in the past and they are putting those things into you.
   • The best thing you can do is be friendly and kind, even if the person might behave badly to attract negative attention.
   • If the person is lonely but doesn't know how to get attention, they'll appreciate what you are doing and change.
   • If they are mean by nature and like to anger others, what you do will make them angry because they cannot anger you. In the end, they'll have to leave you alone.

6. 

   Set limits. Make a rule about what you can and can't accept in this relationship. There are topics, events or people that you should not mention, or behaviors that you should avoid. Sitting back and letting the cruel friend know what to do, and the consequences of going beyond the limit can also help. Let them have the choice of accepting those rules, or not.
   • Write down a few thoughts, and consider your needs and wants. Sit back with the person and talk. If they interrupt, stop them and keep talking. Be sincere. Make an ultimatum if necessary, but focus on the benefits of continuing the relationship and changing bad behaviors.
   • If you decide to stay in this relationship, keep it to yourself. Find and focus on a hobby, join a support group or focus on your religion.
   • Be consistent with the consequences when limits are broken. Do not be easy to overlook anything. If you say you will leave, you will leave.

7. 

   Break a relationship. Eventually, you will also have to sever your relationship with that person. Even if it's a family member, you'll have to avoid them for a while. A long-term relationship with an impossible person is not in your favor. Break ties with them as soon as possible.
   • Stay away from them right after breaking up. No matter how much you love them, or if the person convinces you that they've changed, don't go back.
   • If you can't break up with them right now, do it in your heart, then you can officially give up on that person later.
   • Giving up on a relationship with an impossible person can be painful at first, but after that, you will feel like you've been released from your old habits.
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Part 4 of 4: Dealing with Each Personality Type

1. 

   Find out what the problem is between you and the person. Everyone has traits that other people cannot explain. Some people are very clingy, like to control, pretend to be victims, are passive, aggressive, like overdoing or very competitive. If you learn which traits of the overpowered person conflict with yours, you can find more specific ways to deal with them.
   • Clinging people feel insecure, like people to be noticed and loved because they feel weak and idolize strong people.
   • Controlling people are often perfectionists, who are always right and often blame others for their actions.
   • Competitors are aggressive people and will treat every relationship, every conversation and activity as contests to prove that they are the best.
   • Passive aggressors often show their displeasure indirectly by hinting at what they are feeling. A good example is the sentence: "Don't worry, I'm fine", while you know that if you keep going, you'll be in trouble.

2. 

   Recognize things that don't work. There are things that suit certain types of people and don't work well for others. You will need to try and fail a few times to know what you should and should not do with an impossible person. There is also a possibility that there is nothing you can do to make your relationship more pleasant.
   • Avoiding clingy people will only make them try harder. However, frankly denying them makes them your enemies. If you don't show anything, they get hurt.
   • For control people, you can't prove that you're right and they're wrong. That person has to be right, and your doing better than they do won't stop those perfectionists from criticizing you.
   • Competitive people will use the weaknesses they see in you against you, so when you're around, don't show your emotions. If you oppose and try to overcome them, they will either abandon you or never forgive you.
   • Don't agree with complainers or try to appease them. Then they will get angry again over something else.
   • People who like to play the role of victims want you to feel compassion for them. Don't sympathize and don't let them make excuses. Be realistic and offer to help in other ways.

3. 

   Find out what works. Along with certain types of people, you can find ways to deal with negative things. Use their strengths to resolve misunderstandings, relieve stress, and improve weaknesses. Working with these people can yield very promising results.

4. 

   Deal with clingy, controlling, and competitive types. Understand why they always act like this. Clingers always need responsible guidance to help them gain more confidence. Controlling people feel insecure and afraid of their own weaknesses. Competitors are very concerned with their self-image, so they tend to be more friendly and generous when they are recognized as the best.
   • Show clingy people how to do things and let them do it themselves. Don't let them convince you that they couldn't do it because you did better. Create situations where you need help and ask them to.
   • Don't be afraid or mind the words of controlling people. Take note of the times you get the job done, but don't argue with them if they don't admit it.
   • You can let the competitors win. If you are in a discussion and they definitely won't back down, accept that and offer to have more time to find out.

5. 

   Deal with people who are proud, complaining, or victimized. Understand that proud humans only need to feel heard. People who complain often get angry when they see unresolved problems and they also need to be heard. People who like to play the role of victims always feel bad things only happen to them, and they use that as an excuse for their failures.
   • If you come across a proud person, just listen to them.
   • Be tolerant of complainants, acknowledge their feelings, and avoid them as much as possible.
   • Look closely at the reasons for the "victims" when they are late or make mistakes and behave like others without any guilt. You can give them advice, but don't let your emotions get in the way.

6. 

   Deal with fake people and passive impulses. Fake people love to get attention and will usually do whatever it takes to get it. They have to live in a prestigious place, dress well and send their children to high-class schools. Passive aggressors often have hostility because they do not know how to properly express their wishes.
   • Regardless of gender, fake people are often associated with the nickname "trouble queen". You should avoid getting caught up in the troublesome tragedies those people recount. Just listen to them but keep your distance.
   • Deal with passive impulses by being precise about the actions and situations that are causing the problem. Then practice solving the problem by not responding to their hostility. Set limits and encourage them to express their wishes and how to express them frankly.
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Advice

• If you think you are dealing with an impossible person, you should also make sure that you are not such an extreme person. Openly evaluate other people's opinions. Keep your opinion, but keep in mind: just because it's your opinion, doesn't mean it's correct.
• Stay calm and acknowledged, but don't sarcasm when dealing with annoying people at work. You may lose your job or be judged, so act professionally.