Content

• Steps
• Warning

Comforting someone who is upset can make you feel powerless. In most situations, you cannot do anything physically to help the person. However, just being present and willing to listen is the most important thing you can do.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Know what to say

1. 

   Inspire conversation. Let the person know that you feel sad and that you are there to listen. If you do not know the person well, you can state why you want to help them.
   • For example, if you know the person, you can say, "I realize you're having trouble. Would you like to share it with me?".
   • If you don't know the person well, you can say, "Hi, my name is Chau. I am also a student of the school, and I see you crying. I know that I am just a stranger, but if you want, I'm willing to listen to what is bothering you. "

2. 

   
   
   Be truth. This means you'll probably want to get around once you know what's going on. If the loved one's just passed away or if they just broke up with someone they really cared about, you may not want to talk directly about the problem because you fear it will hurt the person more. However, the person knows what is going on and they are probably thinking about the situation as well. Inquiring about it bluntly will let the person know that you are interested and ready to deal with the problem without embellishing it, and this can be a relief.
   • For example, you could say something like "I heard your father just died. You must be in a lot of pain. Would you like to talk about this?".

3. 

   
   
   Ask about their feelings. Another way to help keep the conversation going is to ask about the person's feelings. In any situation, the person will feel a lot of emotions, even in a sad situation, so allowing them to open up about all of their feelings can be helpful.
   • For example, if the person's parent has just passed away after a long struggle with an illness, of course, they will feel sad. But they may also be relieved because the illness is finally over and at the same time they feel guilty because they had this feeling.

4. 

   
   
   Pay attention to that person. You may want to compare the problem they are having with a problem that you have overcome in the past. However, when someone is upset, they don't necessarily want to hear anything about the situation you've encountered. They want to talk about what's going on in the present.

5. 

   Don't try to turn the conversation into positive immediately. Helping others by directing their attention to the positive side of the problem is quite natural.However, when you do this, they will likely feel as if you are running away from the problem; This may make them feel as though their emotions are not important. Just listen and don't try to bring up the positive side of things.
   • For example, don't say something like, "Well, at least you're still alive", "It's not all bad" or "Cheer up!".
   • If you need to say something instead, use something like "You might feel sad; you're going through a tough time".
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Part 2 of 3: Learn to listen attentively

1. 

   Understand that the person wants to be heard. Most of the time, the person who is crying or sad just wants to be heard. Don't interrupt them and don't offer solutions.
   • You can come up with a solution for them when the conversation is almost over, but at first, focus on just listening to them.

2. 

   Show understanding. One way to listen attentively is to repeat what the other person is saying. Meaning, you can say "I heard you say you are sad because your friend is not paying attention to you".

3. 

   Don't let yourself get distracted. Focus on the conversation. Turn off the TV. Stop glued to your cell phone.
   • Part of maintaining concentration is that you shouldn't be dreaming either. Also, don't just sit there and think about the next thing you need to say. Really pay attention to what the other person is sharing.

4. 

   Use body language to let the person know that you are listening. This means making eye contact with the person. Nod as they say. Smile at the right time, and show concern by frowning.
   • Also, maintain open body language. This means don't cross your arms and legs and face the person.
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Part 3 of 3: End the conversation

1. 

   Recognize your own helplessness. Most people feel powerless when they come face to face with someone in need. This is a natural emotion, and you won't know what to say to the person. However, it is more than enough to just acknowledge the truth and tell the person that you are there for that person.
   • For example, you could say, "I am very sorry that you ran into this problem. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, and I know that there weren't any words that could help you. But I want you to know that I'll be there when you need it. "

2. 

   Give the person a hug. If you are comfortable, give the person a hug. However, it is better to consult with them first, as many people do not like physical contact, especially if they have had some form of trauma before.
   • For example, you could say "Is it okay if I give you a hug?"

3. 

   Find out about the next step. While you may not always find a solution to a problem that is bothering someone, sometimes just setting up a plan can make them feel better. So now is the time to suggest a solution if they don't know what to do; If they know what to do, encourage them to talk about it and plan for the next thing they want to do.

4. 

   Talk about therapy. If your friend is going through a lot, it's okay to find out if they think they should see a counselor. Unfortunately, this process often comes with a lot of social stigma, but if your friend has been struggling for a long time, it's better to talk to a specialist.
   • Of course, discrimination in treating counselors is unreasonable. You may even have to convince your friend that it's okay to see a counselor. You can deal with stigma by letting the person know that you will not change your view of them even when they need help.

5. 

   Find out if there is anything you can do. Whether the person wants to talk to you every week or just go out to lunch with you every now and then, you can help. You can also greatly help them by asking for assistance in performing difficult tasks, such as helping the person record the death for a loved one. Just talk openly to determine if they need help with a particular job or not.
   • If the person seems hesitant to ask you for help, you can offer some specific advice. For example, you could say, "I really want to help you. For example, I can drive you somewhere if you need to, or I can bring you food. You just need to tell me you." need".

6. 

   Be sincere. If you support or ask the person to give you help of any kind, make sure you do it. For example, if you say "You can call me to chat at any time", be really ready to stop all the work you're doing to talk to that person. Likewise, if you ask the person to let you do something, such as drive them to therapy sessions, be physically present to do it.

7. 

   Check it again. Most people have a hard time reaching out to someone when they need help, especially emotional help. So, be sure to ask the person regularly. It's really important to be there when the person needs it. advertisement

Warning

• Don't force others to talk if they don't want to. They need to be willing to open up to others first.