Content

• Steps

One of the downsides of friendship is the ability to be betrayed or deceived by a friend. Betrayed by a friend is the worst thing in the world, especially if it's someone you often turn to to share. When you are faced with betrayal of a friend, you must really pay attention to your feelings and look back at your current relationship's condition and decide how to proceed. Learn to take care of your feelings of hurt and how to deal with an insincere friend.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Dealing with hurt

1. 

   Recognize the painful feelings of betrayal. You will feel hurt when someone betrayed you or find out that someone who used to be close to you is no longer what you used to be. It's okay to feel sad, and there's nothing to hide your hurt feelings from.
   • Acknowledge the pain by making it clear. Name what you are feeling and control your reaction. For example, "I feel frustrated by misplaced beliefs."
   • As you acknowledge your feelings, remember that you are the only one in control of your response to betrayal. In some cases, this person may treat you in a certain way in the hope that you will react. It's better to stay calm and acknowledge your feelings, rather than reacting vigorously during the time.

2. 

   
   
   Take time to meditate. Similar to the benefits that relationships get from a breakup, a friendship needs the same silence. Use this time apart to think about important choices like how to face your friends or end the friendship.You may find yourself calming down after a few days, or during that time you feel happier without your friend.
   • You can also use this time to consider opening up to new kinder people. Take some time to meet a few acquaintances, classmates or colleagues. Do you find yourself more interested in being with these people than any of your friends? Do you recognize their good qualities that other friends don't have?
   • Another way to reflect is to write down your feelings. Writing down your experiences, thoughts, and feelings related to betrayal can make you feel more comfortable and stronger. You may even come up with a plan to deal with the consequences of that betrayal.

3. 

   
   
   Regularly take care of yourself. Before you can even think about rebuilding trust with your friends, you need to love yourself. We often hide our feelings to avoid feeling bad or to avoid upsetting others for their lack of goodwill towards us. Refusing to take care of your own needs will not help you have a long, healthy relationship.
   • Forgive yourself for investing in this friendship and for any emotions that arise when you discover the betrayal. When others take something away from you or do something wrong behind you, it's easy to become defensive because you don't want others to continue to take advantage of you.
   • Treat yourself well during this time. Do things you enjoy - like watching all your favorite TV shows, getting a manicure or spending time with family.

4. 

   
   
   Become a tolerant person. Don't make plans for revenge or hold grudges. Try to forgive someone who has been wrong with you. To do this, you should let go of your anger. You may find it too easy for the person to let go of your anger and behave normally. The truth is not like that. Leaving anger in your heart is the first reason that hurts you. In some cases, the person who made you angry may not remember what they did. You will be energized by becoming a more tolerant person and not acting with the will of revenge.
   • Remember that you cannot control what others think and say about you. Becoming angry and irritable will not keep you in good control. Therefore, if your actions are inconsistent with your original personality or thoughts, you will feel ashamed or guilty for behaving against your values.
   • For example, if a friend or classmate is spreading rumors about you, don't do the same thing as them to avoid making the situation worse. Instead, just stay calm and not show the will to take revenge to handle the situation.
   • The proverb "monopoly" does not really apply to this situation. You usually use water or something suitable for extinguishing the fire. No one fights a fire by adding oil to it; therefore, don't add attention or act negatively to what's going on to avoid tearing things apart.

5. 

   Choose to be with family and friends who are cheerful and caring for you. After being betrayed, there is nothing as pleasant as being around positive people who ask for nothing of you but just want to give you the best. This not only helps you to behave and deal with betrayal, but it also reaffirms your own worth and that of a friend.
   • For example, if a friend lets you down, remember to cherish other sincere friends as well. Let these friends know you appreciate them.
   advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Relationship assessment

1. 

   Evaluate your friendship. When betrayed by a close friend, your personal, social, or professional life may be affected as well. Depending on how influential the rumor or a betrayal is, you have to decide whether to ignore or deal with the issue.
   • If it is a minor matter related to an ordinary friend, it is probably better to just ignore that friend. Conversely, if your job is at risk or if the words cease to be a small gossip that are quickly forgotten, you will need to take some steps to prevent the situation from getting worse.
   • Are people talking about that? Is it related to the law or not? How many people already know this problem? These questions can help you discover the magnitude of the problem.
   • It is also helpful to talk to a neutral party to find a way to resolve the problem. The most important thing is to believe in your own judgment in handling the problem, but it is in your best interest to listen to advice from others.

2. 

   Resist negative influences. If the person who betrayed you spreads rumors or gossiped about you to others, do everything you can to remove the negative views others have towards you.
   • You can protect yourself or meet a few people and explain the truth of the story, such as saying "Those rumors are not true ...". Note, however, that it is likely that people don't want to listen to your explanation.
   • Talking less and doing a lot can help you rebuild your reputation faster. Instead of wasting time trying to explain in vain, you should use positive actions to prove to those around you that the rumor is completely untrue. If the other person says you cheated, you will try to do everything in a transparent way to quell the rumor.

3. 

   Decide if you should face your friend. Sometimes you'll have to speak up, but sometimes you just just let things go its way. Use how you feel about the friend and the situation to determine how to react.
   • Think about the positive and negative consequences of dealing with someone who hurt you. If you choose to end the friendship, you will no longer have the opportunity to listen to your friend's explanation and clear up unnecessary misunderstandings. Also, you won't have a chance to speak your mind. However, if you choose to meet, your significant other may use words to insult or fight you, leading to more hurtful emotions.
   • If your friend treats you in a way that is completely different from what he or she really is, it may be time to sympathize and let things go. If you know your friend is going through a tough time and may have betrayed you in a desperate moment, you really have to do the same.
   • If you decide to face the problem, you can say “I heard you tell your boss that I cheated on the project. I really hurt when I heard the story. I did everything transparently. Why do you say that?"

4. 

   
   
   Decide if you want to restore that friendship. This process involves balancing the amount of value you place in the relationship and the truth going on. You need to review this friendship and decide if it is worth the effort. If your friend is not too close, you can easily give up on the friendship. However, if you value this friendship, find a constructive but resolute way to handle the problem.
   • Even though this is a friendship that is truly precious to you, some actions that are unforgivable lead to an irreversible friendship. Before deciding to solve the problem, you must really make sure the friend is involved. Gather evidence to support your search before deciding to end the friendship. For example, if there is a rumor that your best friend is flirting with your partner, you need to be 100% sure before accusing it.

5. 

   
   
   Heal your friendship if you want to. Suggest how the friend can demonstrate his sincerity. Calmly consider what caused your friend to turn on you. Is your colleague jealous of your work so she lied about your efforts at work? Take this as a compliment and give your friend an opportunity to understand and acknowledge your hard work.
   • Let your friend know that forgiveness is not taken lightly. You can say, “I forgive you and want to let this go.However, I also want to say that you really hurt me a lot and I will end the friendship if that happens again.
   • Set clear boundaries with your friend so that they understand why you let things go. Your friend should know that you take a sincere friendship very seriously, so a betrayal won't happen again. For example, for work projects, you would use a new job allocation system so that each team member has his or her own share of work. If the problem is at home, change the amount of comfort your friend can do at home so that the bad things don't happen again.
   advertisement

Part 3 of 3: Learn lessons for yourself

1. 

   
   
   Focus on your manners. Try to be a good friend to bond with more loyal friends. Look at the beautiful friendships you have made and learn from experience. Learn how to make yourself a better person so you don't get caught up in the mishaps at work or at home. Give up unhealthy relationships.
   • Don't get caught in a vicious circle that causes you to do negative things because others do the same. You won't find trustworthy friends if they can't trust you. When you say you will do something, remember to keep your credit. If you make plans with others, be sure to complete them with them. Small jobs can be of great help in building trust.

2. 

   Consider the type of friends you make friends with. The only thing that you really have control over is yourself. You have to decide how you should react to certain people and who is allowed to enter your life. You don't have to continue to be friends or even be friendly to someone just because you've been friends with them since childhood or working with the same company.
   • If you find it difficult to trust a colleague because of the competition at work, be clear about the matter of bringing the job home. You don't have to make friends or socialize with coworkers if it creates a lot of problems at work.
   • This also applies to friendships in other contexts. Have those friends made a positive impact on you? Are they taking advantage of you? Review your existing friendships and the problems you have faced. Perhaps it is best to look back at your existing friendships to see if you can make wise and healthy choices when making friends.

3. 

   Don't damage your personal values ​​out of friendship. Such as hiding about yourself or family to keep friends. You will find that friends behave differently in some situations and you cannot always rely on a few friends to show sincerity. If you lose a friendship just because you have to focus on your family, the friendship may not be healthy in the first place.
   • This includes ignoring some of your friends' actions in the name of friendship. You have the right to speak your mind. In addition, don't pressure yourself to pretend you don't see a friend's wrongdoing or illegal action.
   advertisement