Content

• Steps
• Warning

If you're having problems with your relationship, know that you're not alone. Most people are, have been, and will have problems with relationships. However, if you decide to try to heal it together, you can solve those problems together, first by trying to understand what happened to your relationship.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Understanding the Problem

1. 

   Be aware of the problems. Any problem can harm your relationship. Perhaps one person puts more effort into the other, or perhaps the two of you simply don't understand each other. You should look for signals and signs of the problems you are facing. Here are a few things you should look out for:
   • You feel like your partner wants you to be a different person, like that person doesn't want you to do the things you normally love to do, wants you to change your personality, or try to control who and act your movement. And also the opposite; That is if you feel like you want to change your spouse, that could be a sign of the problem.
   • The two of you kept arguing over the same problems over and over again and didn't come up with any solutions.
   • You see the two of you are no longer together as much as before or as much as you want.
   • One person has more control in the relationship or one of you doesn't feel the relationship is fair in some way.

2. 

   
   
   Talk about it with your partner. Show the fact that you think there is a problem with your relationship. Be as specific as possible about what you think is the problem between you two, but make sure you don't get angry when you decide to talk about it. Speak in a calm voice, discuss what you think is your relationship problem.
   • For example, you could say, "Darling, I want to take a moment to talk to you about our relationship. I think we're having problems interacting with each other lately. , and I want us to discuss how to fix it. "
   • Research has shown that regularly talking about what is right and wrong can make relationships better in the long run because you don't let small problems build up into big problems.

3. 

   
   
   Look at the nature of the problem, not the people. It's easy for the two of you to blame each other for problems. You might say, "I hate it when you leave the dirty dishes in the sink", and this is basically blaming the other person. Instead, let's look at the nature of the problem. For example, you might say, "When you forget to wash the dishes, I usually put the dirty dishes in the sink. Then you can't wash them all because the dishes are just piling up. What should we do to do so?" Is this situation improved now? " advertisement

Part 2 of 4: Learning to Better Discussion

1. 

   
   
   Stop keeping things in your heart. If the little things get you off and you don't say them, they will explode at some point. If you solve them in the first place, they won't be a big problem.

2. 

   Control feelings. If you find yourself discussing while angry or getting angry when you are talking badly, you may need to take a moment to calm down. You know what makes you feel better. Maybe you need to go for a walk, listen to music, or take a bath. You could also try counting from one to ten or take a deep breath. Whatever you need to do, take a few minutes to calm down before continuing the discussion.
   • Look for warning signals. If you feel like you must win the argument, it's time to take a break. At that time, you will be more inclined to say things you will regret or take the argument too far.

3. 

   Think about what the other person is going through. When you get angry, you will only think about how badly you have been treated. However, as you begin to force yourself to think about what the other person is going through, you will gradually pull yourself out of that thought. Empathy can help relieve your anger.
   • It is very important to respect each other's feelings, because he or she has the right to express his or her feelings no matter what. Whether you think the person is right or not, you should still respect what they are feeling.

4. 

   Listening carefully. Listening to what the other person has to say can provoke your empathy for his or her feelings. Don't just listen to it. Really think about what the other person said, and try to understand the hidden things behind each statement.
   • One way to show that you are listening is to try to summarize what the other person has said. For example, you could say, "I heard you say that you feel annoyed that you have to do more housework than I do."
   • Another way is to ask questions related to the problem to make sure you understand what the other person is saying.

5. 

   Discuss your point calmly and clearly. You also have the right to express your feelings and thoughts. It's important to stay calm and be clear about what you are feeling and thinking. You cannot expect the other person to read your mind to know what you are thinking and how you are feeling.
   • Continue talking about what you think is your problem, instead of blaming each other. In other words, start your sentence with "first person" instead of "second person". For example, you could say, "I feel uncomfortable when the house is not clean. Can we set up a cleaning schedule for our convenience? "I never clean the house with you!"

6. 

   Find ways to compromise. The most important thing in any relationship is learning to compromise. You can't expect yourself to win disputes all the time, because a relationship has to include give and take. Compromise is about finding a common stance and both of you must limit controversy.
   • Discuss your needs and wants.If the two of you can decide what you both need, you might not need to put too much emphasis on the "want" part. Basically, you need to decide what is most important and what is less important to you. Learn how to give in to problems that are not really important.
   • If you hate cleaning the bathroom but your spouse wants you to help with the housework more, maybe you should divide the chores into things you are more comfortable with and things he / she can tolerate. get over.

7. 

   Ignoring the past. When you argue, you tend to let go of harsh words or pull past things to blame. You know how to hit an opponent's weakness because you know him / her too well. However, all of that just makes everyone angry and even makes your relationship irreversible. Please control your own rebuke. advertisement

Part 3 of 4: Re-establishing the Connection

1. 

   Make your relationship a priority. Indifference can make your relationship go wrong. As time passes, you will gradually get used to dating and will not spend as much of your mind as before. Once you understand the problem, you can try to change it.

2. 

   Respect. Being harsh with each other can easily break your relationship. If you try to be kind and gentle with your other partner, it will help you both re-establish the bond you used to have.

3. 

   Take time to interact. When you are in a new relationship, you take the time to talk and learn what the other person likes. The two of you discussed your fears, interests, and dislikes. If your relationship has been around for a while, you will probably stop doing it. If that's the case for you, you need to keep trying to rebuild the bond between the two of you by taking time to talk to each other every day. Set aside time for both of you, and then, try to dig deeper instead of just talking about everyday tasks that never change.

4. 

   Try dating again. Another way that can be mended is by planning a date. That means the two of you will have something to look forward to, as well as spend a special time with just the two of you together.

5. 

   Don't forget to touch each other. Touch is an important part of a relationship and it doesn't just mean having sex. Kissing, holding hands, holding hands and hugging each other are also ways to increase intimacy. Touching makes you bond with your partner. advertisement

Part 4 of 4: Deciding How To Move Forward

1. 

   Think about specific solutions. Once you find a few problems together, let's talk about the solutions together. How can you two solve the problem in a way that is both acceptable? In other words, you need to find what you both have in common.
   • Start with points you both agree. Perhaps at least the two of you agree with the problem, or perhaps the first step in the solution. For example, maybe you two agree that you two lack a connection. You can go further and agree that you need to spend more time together.

2. 

   Make plans together. Once the two of you have agreed to the solution, it's time to turn it into rules. For example, both of you agree that you need to spend more time together, so you should probably agree to date at least once a week.

3. 

   Respect the other's needs. Everyone reacts differently to each situation, which means that everyone has different emotional needs. For example, maybe your partner needs more time together during difficult times, so try to be there for him or her.

4. 

   Continue talking. When you feel like interrupting your partner, consider your feelings. Instead of interrupting, talk about how and why it made you feel. In other words, you need to keep trying to improve communication between you and the other person, because you cannot expect your partner to guess what you are thinking or feeling.
   • For example, if your partner mentions going out to dinner at a restaurant she likes, you may want to protest immediately over money if your economy is tight. Instead say, "Now spending money makes me feel a bit nervous because we are having a hard time living up to a payday. We can compromise and move forward somewhere. are not?"

5. 

   Don't forget to take time to develop yourself. You may tend to focus solely on your relationship, but take time to develop your interests as well. You do more in your relationship than when you are an independent person, so spending time apart is extremely important.

6. 

   Don't be afraid to receive advice. Even if your partner doesn't want to join, it might still help your relationship. Because you begin to change yourself and the way you interact with others, including your partner. If your partner is also willing to join you, the outcome will be even better. advertisement

Warning

• If your relationship is an abusive relationship, it's time to stop. If your partner hurts you physically or continually lowers you, don't try to heal the relationship.