Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Set boundaries
• Method 2 of 3: Strengthen your self-confidence
• Method 3 of 3: Entertain yourself
• Tips

Your relationship with your ex-boyfriend is stranded, and you want him to know exactly what he's going to miss. You want to remind him what he's missing out on now, whether you want him back or not. Think about what he is like as a person, who you are and show him exactly what he is going to miss now. The best way to show him what he's missing is to focus on yourself, not him. So step back, make positive changes in your own life and be open to possible new experiences.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Set boundaries

1. Keep your distance. He doesn't care when or if you talk to each other. Of course, you too have to respect his boundaries and requests, but if he's left it open, you can be the one who decides when to talk to each other, and how, over the phone, via text or email. This can be tricky at first, but if you practice it is not that difficult to keep your distance.
   • If you are in control of initiating contact, it shows him that he no longer has unlimited access to you.
   • Let at least a month pass before talking to him again.
   • For example, if you were used to texting him when he needed to go to the dentist to remind him, don't do that anymore. He will have to rely on his own agenda and not you.
   • Or don't tell him his favorite movie is on TV. Make a nice bowl of popcorn and enjoy it yourself.
2. Be happy for positive change. After the divorce, you have to reinvent yourself a bit. Not for your ex, or for someone else, but for you. You deserve a new beginning. Maybe you would like to join an association or if you feel like a new hobby, now is the right time. Or maybe you want to get back in touch with someone you haven't seen for a long time, now is the right time for that too. Whatever you choose, allow yourself to change so that you are better than you were yesterday, but do it for yourself and no one else.
   • Your ex will notice those positive changes and see you develop and grow without him. Hopefully he will be happy for you, and probably regrets not being a part of it anymore.
3. Define your relationship. It is important that you both know what the relationship is and what it is not. You're together or you're not. It can be hard to keep your word, but you really need to tell him you're still together or it's done. It's not an "on-again-off-again relationship," and you don't wait for him to just see you when he feels like it.
   • This is about being in control of yourself and your emotional health.
   • For example, you could tell him, "Now that we've split up, we need to think about what kind of relationship we have and how we'll get along if we can. There can be no ambiguity, and I need clarity ".

Method 2 of 3: Strengthen your self-confidence

1. Get moving. Movement nourishes the body, mind and heart. Whether you like exercise or not, you should try to keep it up. Get into the habit of exercising. Your body will become stronger, your brain will work better and your heart will be healthier.
   • There are many gyms where you can subscribe for a month so you can give it a try without being tied to a long contract.
2. Be social. Get out there, be social and enjoy life. Take this opportunity to revitalize contacts and do things you enjoy. This is also the chance to try new social activities that have been fun for you for a long time. He will probably be told that you have built a new social life, or who knows, he might see photos on the internet, and then he will find that you can live your life just fine without him.
   • Meet up with friends
   • Eat out
   • Go to the theater
   • Go to festivals - make it a weekend
   • Join an association
   • Try a new hobby club
   • Don't overdo it with pictures when you go out, because the divorce will make you seem like you've lost your temper.
3. Try to think positively. Some people say that you attract things to your mind, so if you have positive thoughts, you will attract positive energy into your life. But furthermore, by thinking positively, you can silence those negative thoughts (in which you doubt yourself and which arise when you don't expect it). Positive thinking is a habit that you have to work hard on, but it is well worth it.
   • Start small. Think about a negative thought you often have and think about how to make it positive. The next time you have that negative thought, replace it with a positive thought.
   • For example, you keep thinking that you don't have as much talent as others and that you will never be successful. Contradict that negative thought. You are only expressing fear and concern with this, but it is not true. Rather than letting your fears and worries run rampant, correct this fearful thinking. For example, you can say, "Everyone has talent. I just have to discover my talent ". And: "There are many different ways in which you can be successful. I have already succeeded in many aspects of my life. Every day I will find ways to be successful and ways to improve myself ".
4. Focus on your strengths. You have strengths and you need to focus on them. Focusing on what you do well will keep you motivated to succeed. Your success is yours, and no one can take that away from you. You build it by using your own talents, and like so many things, the more you do it, the better you get at it. And your continued growth will create more opportunities for personal development.
   • You can think of your professional strengths, your personal talents or even your artistic abilities. Join forces to develop something unique to you.
   • You have been cooking for pleasure for years. You love homemade dishes and you love sharing them with your loved ones. Then consider starting a blog where you can share your cooking skills and recipes.
   • Or maybe you are very good at organizing and arranging complex tasks. You are the person people turn to when a problem needs to be solved, especially when it seems too big to handle. You can use these skills and start your own business as a personal assistant or even a life coach alongside your work
   • Maybe you love animals and would like to spend more time with them. It seems like you have an empathetic connection with them. Then use this special talent to volunteer at the shelter or zoo.
5. Get to know yourself. After a divorce, you may wonder, "What now?" You are so used to sharing all kinds of experiences with someone else that you have lost touch with yourself a little. Getting to know yourself and finding out who you are, what you like, what you don't and even how you think about political or religious things is essential to move forward. As you move on with your life, he will see what he is missing.
   • Start simple and make a list. Write down what you enjoy doing in your spare time, what adventures you would like to go on, what your dream vacation would be, what interests you have. Make as many lists as you find necessary.By thinking about yourself and writing down your thoughts, you get to know yourself better.
   • Or you can meditate, formally or less formally, by closing your eyes, breathing calmly, and allowing yourself to sit in silence. Acknowledge your thoughts and try to silence them so that you are alone with yourself without distractions.

Method 3 of 3: Entertain yourself

1. Make new friends. Whether you've lost a few friends through the divorce or not, it's always good to make new friends after your relationship ends. That doesn't mean you should stop seeing your current friends, but rather expand your social circle. When you make new friends, you are open to new experiences, and you can take a little more distance from your ex. If the two of you don't have a common group of friends, he won't be able to keep an eye on you all the time, giving you room to recover.
   • The digital age has created many opportunities to meet new people. You can join local Facebook groups or participate in a forum. These types of groups can be organized around shared interests (books, movies or music), or geography (city, neighborhood) or even shared experiences (parenthood, divorces, military veterans).
   • Often, groups come together in the library or in cafes that have a common interest or goal.
   • When you go to school there will probably be all kinds of groups or associations in which you can participate.
2. Treat yourself. You deserve to treat yourself to something you wouldn't normally do. Go for it - pamper yourself in the sauna, go on a voyage of discovery, or buy that bag you've been wanting for so long. Think of one or two things you would really like and give yourself as a present.
   • Try to travel alone. Take the time to discover a new place all by yourself.
   • Treat yourself to something you can take care of yourself with. Maybe you should buy that massage oil now, or those beautiful pans you saw a while ago.
   • Take yourself out - go to the bookstore, eat out, or even the movies.
3. Be kind to yourself. You know that it is important to be kind to others because you are helping someone, and also because it makes you feel better. But don't forget to love yourself too, especially now. You take care of others, and now is the time to take care of yourself. He will regret that you won't be so nice to him now.
   • Stop for a cup of coffee on the way to work.
   • Spend way too much for a new outfit or new sports equipment.
   • Compliment yourself - find at least one thing that you deserve a compliment every day for.
   • Be patient with yourself.
4. Have fun. You want him to regret losing you, but the most important thing now is your own happiness. Go out and have fun! Don't worry if he's sorry. You can't control his feelings. But you can have fun - go out with your friends, play mini golf, go swimming, go camping - just get out there and have fun.
5. Create new habits. This is different from changing your routine. Developing new habits means that new behavior becomes second nature through repetition. New habits that you develop should be created with the idea that you want to improve your life or become happier. Ultimately, your happiness is great to you and attractive to others.
   • Your habits may be based on the learning process, such as learning two new words in a foreign language every morning, or spending 20 minutes reading the news.
   • Or they can be more body-based, such as doing sit-ups or push-ups for two minutes every morning.
   • Or perhaps they are more spiritual in nature, such as reading religious texts for half an hour every night.

Tips

• Try to be nice to him. Don't ignore him, but keep your distance.
• It is his own fault that he lost someone as unique and special as you. So don't feel too sorry for yourself. There are plenty of other nice guys.
• Always smile and show that you are happy. That could be a reason for him to want you back.
• Show him you're better off without him.
• If he really wants you back, he will make an effort to win you back. He has to work for your love so that he understands the value of having you back in his life.
• If everything fails, just enjoy being single.