Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Recognize that you have betrayed your partner's trust
• Part 2 of 3: Sincerely apologize to your partner
• Part 3 of 3: Prove yourself
• Warnings

Even the best relationships are not completely free of problems. If you've betrayed your partner's trust, you may be able to save the relationship by trying to regain his or her trust. Show your partner your commitment and show that you want to mend your relationship. With a combination of time and attention, you will slowly but surely be able to restore confidence.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Recognize that you have betrayed your partner's trust

1. Take responsibility for your actions and behavior and admit your mistakes. Lying about the situation will only betray trust and create more stress for you. If you remain dishonest, you will be more concerned about the chance of getting caught. Be honest and sincere with your partner to avoid a future break in trust and not further delay the process of restoring trust.
   • By being sincere with your partner, you are better able to account for your behavior. Your partner may assume the worst scenario and others can take it a step further by exaggerating the event, so you need to get to grips with your own story as soon as possible.
2. Put yourself in his or her situation to avoid taking a defensive stance. Your partner is likely to be angry and sad and may be negative in his or her terms. Even knowing you've done something wrong might make you feel like you are defensive or put the blame elsewhere. It is important to realize that you have hurt your partner and that he or she wants to express it. When you feel the urge to defend yourself, try to imagine how you would feel if your partner had betrayed your trust. This will give you a better understanding of how your partner communicates and how he or she expresses her anger or grief, rather than seeking the attack.
   • Regardless of the mistake you have made, there is nothing that justifies physical violence. If your partner starts to become aggressive for any reason, physically or verbally, or threaten you in any way, you should immediately leave the situation and seek help.
3. Listen carefully to your partner. Show that you take his or her feelings seriously by rephrasing the words and reflecting on what is being communicated. Show that you have understood what your partner is trying to convey to you by repeating his or her words in your own words. Then reflect by naming the emotion shown.
   • For example, if your partner says, “You promised you would be there for me, but you weren't there. You know how much that meant to me! ”
   • You can repeat your partner's words by saying, "I wasn't there for you, even though I promised."
   • Reflect on the situation by acknowledging your partner's emotion. You could say something like, "I have abandoned you."
4. Confirm his or her feelings. It is very important that your partner feels heard and understood. To betray your partner's trust means that you have abandoned him or her. Show that you care by articulating the potential consequences of your behavior for your partner. For example, you could say something like, "I have hurt you and caused you grief with my behavior and I have betrayed your trust."
   • Try phrases like "I know." to avoid when discussing each other's feelings. While you won't have any bad intentions about this, some people will find it patronizing.

Part 2 of 3: Sincerely apologize to your partner

1. Try to explain why you behaved in a certain way. What caused you to betray your partner's trust? You are responsible for your actions, but you may be able to restore some confidence when your partner gains insight into the emotion underlying your behavior. Maybe after this you can count on empathy from your partner and this can help you avoid such situations in the future. Tell your partner how you felt and then describe your behavior. For example, you could say, "I felt insecure in our relationship and so sought attention from others."
   • Speak from the me perspective to prevent your partner from inadvertently feeling like you're blaming him or her.
2. Resolve to behave differently from now on. The most important thing is to show your partner how you are going to avoid hurting him or her again. Try to determine the cause of your behavior and how you could have prevented the situation. For example, if your behavior has been influenced by a certain person, from now on you should avoid being in a situation where only this person is present. This may mean that you can only meet the person in the presence of your partner or a friend. When it turns out that you are alone with the person who previously influenced your behavior, you should leave immediately.
   • Discussing and resolving your problems with your partner should be part of the intention to change at all times.
3. Be honest and sincere. Sincerely show that you are sorry and feel deeply guilty for having betrayed your partner's trust. Your partner is more likely to trust you if he or she believes that from now on you will avoid unpleasant emotions that arise from your behavior.
   • Avoid making empty promises that you cannot or do not want to keep. If you fail to keep your promises, previous apologies will come across as insincere.

Part 3 of 3: Prove yourself

1. Ensure clear communication between you and your partner. Poor communication between you may have contributed to the mistakes you made; one of you and both have not been open and honest. To avoid this problem in the future, identify the barriers that keep you from communicating well with each other. Also try to think of ways in which you can get around these barriers in the future. This shows your partner that you don't want to hurt him or her again in the future.
   • If you or your partner feel uncomfortable discussing emotions, you could agree to write letters to each other about the topics that are difficult to discuss.
   • If you and your partner don't communicate often enough, you can schedule a weekly time to discuss the relationship.
   • If you are having difficulty determining the cause of the communication problems, you may want to consider seeking out a relationship counselor. A relationship therapist could support you in diagnosing and solving communication problems.
2. Ask your partner what you can do to regain his or her trust. You may be at your wits end and not sure what to do to restore confidence. Ask your partner what you can do to restore trust. This may include communicating more often, spending more time together, getting help from a therapist, being patient, or something else. Ask your partner to guide you in your efforts to regain their trust.
3. Call and / or text your partner regularly. By reaching out to your partner regularly throughout the day, you show that you are thinking about him or her. This will help your partner feel less like you're not paying them enough attention. Your partner is more likely to trust you when he or she feels a connection to you.
   • A good way to keep in touch without being intrusive is to send a nice photo or small description of fun interactions between the two of you via your smartphone every now and then.
4. Do fun things together without focusing on the mistakes you made. When you have apologized and promised that you will change your behavior, leave the embarrassing situation behind. From now on, focus on the present as much as possible by doing fun things together. If you spend more time with your partner, he or she will be less concerned when the two of you are apart.
   • Look for a hobby that suits you and your partner, something you can enjoy together. A shared hobby allows you to spend more time together and this can strengthen your mutual bond.
5. Show appreciation for your partner. Show your partner how much you appreciate them and how important your relationship is to you. When your partner feels valued, he or she will feel more secure in the relationship.
   • Leave messages expressing your appreciation for your partner. You can leave the messages in and around the house, so that your partner can find them.
   • If you want to show your appreciation with gifts, you have to be careful. Your partner shouldn't feel like you're trying to buy back his or her trust with gifts.
   • Help your partner as much as possible with household chores as a token of appreciation that his or her work has not gone unnoticed.
6. Accept the fact that restoring trust takes time. Be patient and give your partner enough time to regain his or her trust in you. This is beyond your control, and trying to speed up the process may make your partner feel like you don't respect his or her feelings.
   • Instead of focusing on things that you have no control over (time), you should focus on things that you do have control over. Think of reliability and consistency.
   • Show your partner that you have made long-term changes. Don't just focus on the short term and then fall back into your old habits.

Warnings

• Do not blame your behavior on your partner. This will further deteriorate your relationship.