Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Questions to think about
• Part 2 of 4: Speaking up
• Part 3 of 4: Behave with your ex
• Part 4 of 4: What not to do
• Tips
• Warnings

Any break is tricky. This is mainly because you lose the company of your ex, and is especially difficult if you were friends prior to the relationship. This article will teach you how to determine if you are ready to stay friends with your ex. We will also explain here how to start a platonic friendship with him / her.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Questions to think about

1. Make sure you are interested in a platonic relationship. If you want to befriend your ex in the hope of ever getting back together, then you are definitely not ready to be friends just yet. Take the time to really think about whether you are ready for a platonic relationship.
   • If you're not sure, ask yourself how you would feel if you saw your ex with someone new. If that makes you angry, you probably aren't ready to be friends just yet.
2. Determine that you have spent enough time without each other. If the breakup is still fresh, then you shouldn't talk to your ex on a regular basis for at least a few weeks (or months). This phase is extremely important, because it allows you to learn to separate the relationship and the friendship. It also gives you both plenty of time to grieve for the relationship that has ended.
3. Do not rush. While you may feel like seeing your ex again, be aware of the possibility that you may still be emotionally dependent on this person. Wait for the feelings for your ex to subside.
   • Focus on your hobbies, close friends and school / work. While this can be difficult, eventually you will learn how to get happy without being in touch with your ex all the time.

Part 2 of 4: Speaking up

1. Let your ex know that you want to be friends with him / her. If you've waited long enough, you can contact your ex. Tell him / her that you would like to remain friends.
   • Send a friendly text or email, or make a call.
2. Be patient. If your ex isn't ready to be friends yet, he / she is probably still mourning the broken relationship. If this is the case, don't get upset. Give your ex the time he / she needs to deal with the remaining feelings

Part 3 of 4: Behave with your ex

1. Make non-romantic plans. Do not meet at night, nor at the place where you used to go when you were a couple. For example, instead of a candlelight dinner, you can opt for a cup of coffee.
2. Meet in public. This reduces the chance of a fight or intimacy with your ex.
3. Keep the conversation light. Do not bring up aspects of your old relationship, or ask him / her if he / she is dating someone again. Rather, ask about what he / she is doing today, about mutual friends, future plans and / or current affairs in the field of news or culture.
4. Be friendly, but not flirtatious. Of course you want to be nice to your ex, but try not to be overly flirty or suggestive.
   • Dress appropriately. Of course everyone wants to look good when their ex is there, but if you dress too provocatively, you send the wrong signal.

Part 4 of 4: What not to do

1. Don't have sex with your ex. This will no doubt lead to the question of whether the two of you should get back together. That will sabotage the chance of a platonic friendship.
2. Don't fall into old patterns. To maintain a friendship, you will occasionally need to make contact by phone or computer. However, don't start calling or texting your ex every day. This will only create false hope.
3. Know when to step back. If the two of you become too attached to each other again, or if feelings start to bubble up again, then you should not force the relationship. Namely, it indicates that the fraction is still too fresh, and that you need more time apart.

Tips

• Try to avoid stalking your ex through friends or the internet. The only thing you can achieve with this is for your ex to become an obsession with you, or for your feelings to be hurt.
• Check whether you are still constantly thinking about your ex or not. If you do, then you have not yet been able to get over the fraction. In that case, don't try to start a friendship.
• Wait until you start dating someone else before dating your ex. That way you will have more self-confidence. It can also help your ex to see that he / she can start to see your relationship as platonic.

Warnings

• Be prepared that your ex might already be dating someone else. While the rule of thumb is that you shouldn't bring up the new relationship, your ex may not be aware of it. Be prepared that he / she has moved on.