Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Letting go of the past
• Part 2 of 3: Creating the life you really want
• Part 3 of 3: Following your new life path

Are you ready for a big change in your life? Starting over in your life means that you are willing to let go of what isn't working, or that you are going to let go of the things that are preventing you from moving on. If you are creating the life you want, it is important that you set yourself realistic goals that you can achieve so that your dreams can eventually become reality. Make time for fun relaxing activities so that your life has meaning and so that you enjoy your life. And, be flexible in your approach, and be willing to adjust your life as needed.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Letting go of the past

1. Be bold in the things that keep you from living the life you really want. If you really want to start a new life, get rid of whatever is holding you back. For example, if you are in debt, work towards paying off your debts and find someone who can advise you. Look for ways to move forward, no matter how small, so that you don't feel stuck.
   • For example, if you want to move to another country, start selling or storing your stuff. Or, if it's too expensive to own a car, find out how to use public transportation and save money that way.
2. Acknowledge your emotions. Don't allow past emotions to keep you from moving on, or to affect your ability to move on. Start by acknowledging the emotions, and recognizing that you are feeling them, but also that you are not your emotions. If you feel an emotion, name that emotion and say to yourself, "I feel anger" or "This is sadness." Let the emotions be there, but don't judge them or make them part of your identity.
   • While running away from your problems can temporarily relieve your stress or pain, it is not a long-term solution. It is better to acknowledge and process your emotions.
   • When you are making a new beginning in your life after a painful or stressful experience, recognize that you are more than just that experience. While it is painful now, in a while it will diminish and eventually go away.
3. Express your emotions. Stress and emotions can often be overwhelming, so find a healthy way in which to express your emotions. Some ways you can express your emotions include dancing, listening to music, painting, crying, and talking to a trusted friend. Even if your boyfriend or girlfriend can't do anything to help you, it is often cathartic to tell someone what you are feeling.
   • Don't hold on to your emotions when you feel them, but try to express them in a healthy way. Expressing your emotions helps to process your emotions, no matter how difficult they are.
4. Write in a journal. A daily journal can help you to list your thoughts and feelings and to express them in a positive way. A diary can provide clarity in situations that are confusing, it can help you solve problems and get to know yourself better. Since a diary is private, you are free to express whatever you want, feel, and want.
   • Read back from time to time what you wrote in your diary. This allows you to better see the development you are going through and view problems from new insights.
5. Learn to be vulnerable. Vulnerability can help you come to terms with your past so that you can let go of it and make a new beginning in your life. It means that you are honest about the mistakes you have made, and that you experience feelings of regret and nurture desires. The truth may be a bit confrontational, but you can use it to be even more powerful in life.
   • Do something you've always wanted to do, but never dared to try. Ask someone to dine with you. Adopt a pet. Take singing lessons. If you take the plunge, you will feel more and more comfortable taking risks in your life.
   • If you feel down or stressed, reach out to people close to you. Remember, emotions are not signs of weakness. Trusting and relying on others can actually strengthen your relationships.
6. Forgive the people who hurt you in the past. While this may take a while for you to succeed, it is good to be aware that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not someone else. Choose to let go of the sadness, anger, resentment, or pain someone has caused you. You don't have to formally forgive or interact with the other. You can simply choose to forgive the other and let go of the pain you feel.
   • For example, write a letter to the other person expressing how his or her actions hurt and hurt you. You can write a second letter stating how you forgive the other and that you want to move on with your life. Burn the letters in a safe way, as a symbol of letting go and moving on with your life.
7. Work on it with a therapist. Letting go of the past can seem like too much of a task, and yet it is important to let go of a few things so that you can move on with your life the way you want to redesign it. If you are having a hard time letting go of your past on your own, or if you feel overwhelmed by the amount of pain and stress in your life, consider working on it with a therapist. He or she can help you process your emotions and bring some clarity to your past and future.
   • There are many different types of therapy, so choose one that is right for you. For example, you can choose individual therapy, relationship therapy for partners, group therapy, or system therapy for the whole family.
   • Look for a therapist in your area via the Internet or your health insurance company. You can also ask for a referral from friends or your doctor.

Part 2 of 3: Creating the life you really want

1. Take responsibility for yourself and your own life. Don't start your life over if it's just a way to get revenge on someone, or if it's a reaction to someone. Fully support your choice to start over, and do it for yourself and no one else. Make decisions based on your own needs and desires, not what other people need or expect from you.
   • Make it a habit to ask yourself, "What do I want and what do I need now?"
   • While other people may give you advice and feedback, remember that you are responsible for your own choices. Listen to what others have to say, but also do what you really want to do.
2. Write about the life you envision. Work out what things and people you want in your life. Write down your goals or ideals regarding your career, a love affair, your health and comfort, or your current lifestyle. If you have a list or journal, you can organize your thoughts in it, think about it, and keep it in the future.
   • Maybe you want to make a different job or a career switch. Write or what ideally you would do for work and how it would make you feel.
   • For example, think about the life you want to think now, and the life you want to live in 5 or 10 years. Ask yourself what you would like to do, where you would like to live, and what lifestyle you would like.
3. Set goals for yourself. Be clear about what you want, set your goals so that you can grow towards them and get what you really want. The goal is to make you feel strong by these goals, because you know that your needs and desires are achievable: so put in a lot of time and energy so that you can formulate them properly. Think about the various aspects of your life that you want to change, such as your relationships, your finances, education, career, health and hobbies. By setting long and short term goals you stay motivated and focused.
   • Create a vision board for your life and write or draw the goals you want to achieve. Put it somewhere you can see it clearly so that you are constantly reminded that you can work on your goals and get closer to them.
4. Call upon the resources at your disposal so that you can take action to achieve your goals. Once you have achieved your goals, approach the people who can help you and see what things you can use to use your goals. This could be a visit to an employment agency, enrolling in a gym to get fitter, or joining a dating agency so you can find a partner. As you rearrange your life, remember that you are not alone and that you have all kinds of resources at your disposal that can help you in different ways.
   • Involve a friend who supports your goals and encourages you to do so in your plans. Getting the support of someone who cares about you can help you stay motivated.
   • Don't allow fear and nerves to get in the way. If taking a big jump is too exciting for you, take baby steps first to get out of your comfort zone. Trying new things may seem tricky at first, but you can quickly get used to it.
5. Think about any obstacles and consequences. When you make big decisions in your life, it can be fun and exciting to let go of everything and try things that are completely new to you. Although this can lead to very beautiful things, it is important that you think carefully about any problems that may arise and what the effect of this can be on the people around you and on yourself. Don't intentionally harm another person or make a big decision that could harm yourself in the future.
   • For example, if getting a dog is right for the life you want, make sure you understand the responsibility that comes with caring for pets. While dogs can be great buddies, they also need attention, exercise and care, so make sure you can provide this before getting the dog.
   • Be prepared for setbacks before they even happen. This will make the challenges and obstacles you encounter seem less difficult. Just remember that you are doing your best to keep moving forward.
6. Ask for help in your community. It is difficult to go through changes on your own, so look around to see who can offer you emotional support. This could be a good friend you can talk to, or a group you attend weekly where you talk and support each other. When big changes are happening in your life, look for someone who will support you and who believes it is important for you to succeed in your plans. It should be someone you feel you trust and can talk to in an open manner.
   • It is up to you who you ask for support, and where you look for support. Some people like to talk one-on-one with a friend, while others like the anonymity of a group. Whatever choice you make, it is important that you feel supported and encouraged.
   • If you know someone who has already achieved the dreams you have, ask them to become your mentor.
7. Keep what's important to you. Starting over doesn't mean you have to give up everything and everyone from your past. While you may want to scrutinize your relationships and your own values, don't worry about letting go of all the people and things that are important to you. And perhaps now, in times of change, you appreciate it all the more that you have people or things around you that are familiar to you.
   • For example, if you move, you can still keep in touch with your family or friends, even if they have a slightly different interpretation.

Part 3 of 3: Following your new life path

1. Have fun in your life. Make time to have fun and see that as a priority. This could include regular outings with your friends, going to a bowling club, learning to play the guitar, or taking weekly walks. Do things you enjoy doing and do them regularly.
   • Having hobbies and doing fun things can help you deal with stress and keep your life exciting. It can make you feel like you have a purpose in your life and that your life has meaning.
2. Focus on the present and not the past. Learn to accept every moment, whatever it is. Don't hold on to the past too much or worry about the future. If you find it difficult to focus on the present and stay in the moment, try to focus on your breath and your senses. If you feel uncomfortable or insecure, focus only on the present, without focusing elsewhere.
   • For example, turn off all electrical appliances in the house and focus on your senses. Connect with all of your senses, one at a time, until you feel centered and calm.
3. Make sure your mindset is flexible. Your needs can change over time, so be flexible and evaluate your needs from time to time. Think about how courageous you were when you made the first changes, and be as courageous as it takes to make further changes.
   • Allow your wishes to change in life. For example, if you've gone back to college and you realize you don't want to become an engineer after all, check out the options and be willing to adjust your plans.
4. Ask for help if you need it. Know that you can always ask for help no matter where you are in your process of starting over and moving on with your life. It's okay if things don't turn out the way you hoped, or if you're struggling. Know how to ask for support and ask for it when you need it.
   • If you have rejected help in the past that you may need now, consider accepting it now.