Author:
Laura McKinney
Date Of Creation:
3 August 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
It can be challenging to start a conversation with someone if you don't know how to start, and silence or embarrassment can make people uncomfortable. But even if you think you have nothing to say, there are ways to help you have a deep conversation. Find common topics that you are able to talk about and learn to actively listen to make conversation enjoyable. As you become more comfortable chatting with others, you'll always know how to talk in any situation!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Open a conversation
Introduce yourself if you have never met that person. If you want to talk to a stranger, move up close, make eye contact with the person, and smile. Say hi and introduce your name so they can feel comfortable around you. Reach out and shake the other person to feel more connected to you and more interested in talking. Ask for their name to start off naturally, resulting in a longer conversation.
- For example, you can say “Hi, my name is Sơn. Nice to meet you."
- You don't need to introduce yourself if you just want to have a casual conversation, but it will help people open up to you more.
Say something positive to invite others to talk. By opening up a conversation with a negative thing, you can keep people from opening up and getting less excited to talk. Mention things that you really enjoy and smile when you talk to the other person so that they open up and talk to you. Talk about something you like and ask them how it is to engage them in the conversation.- For example, if you are at a party, you could say “The music here is good. Do you like this song? ” or “Have you tried the dishes here? It's delicious. ” End with a question that encourages the other person to respond and start a conversation.
- If the person seems shy or shy, your proactive and open-minded attitude can help them feel more comfortable.
Compliment the person in order to talk to the person. Find a good spot in their personality or outfits to compliment. Be sincere in compliments, lest they feel you are dishonest and are afraid to talk to you. Keep the conversation going with a compliment follow-up question for them to respond.- You could say something like, “The dress you wear looks pretty. Where did you buy?" or “You really have an aesthetic sense. How did you find this suit? ”
- Try to use open-ended questions as much as possible so that the conversations don't end with "yes" or "no".
- Avoid talking about someone's appearance, as this can make them uncomfortable and unresponsive.
Mention your surroundings to initiate a conversation if you can't think of anything else. If you can't think of a way to start a conversation, look around and observe something, such as the weather, the scenery, the person or something going on. Use a positive attitude to make the other person more interested in talking to you.- For example, you could say “This is the first time in this cafe. Do you know what's delicious here? ” or “If only it were sunny today, it would be good. The weather has been dark these days. "
- Show a sense of humor in your conversation to attract the other person and make the conversation between two parties more interesting.
Method 2 of 3: Find topics to talk to
Ask the other person what they do or where they study to find a connection with them. Start talking to the person by asking about work or school. Ask them what they do, how long have they been there, has their work been any fun lately. If the person is still in school, you can ask them what major they are in and what they want to do after they graduate.
- Remember to answer if they are also asking about your career or education.
- Show sincere interest in their careers, even if their work doesn't sound very appealing to you. See this as an opportunity to learn more about the person and their profession.
- Some of the questions you ask about the person themselves will also help them feel valued and respected.
Talk about your and the other person's common interests to get to know them better. People like to talk about things they are passionate about, so ask the other person what they would like to do outside of work or school hours and keep in mind the points that you feel are good about. When they ask you what your interests are, mention any activities that match their interests so you can continue talking about the topic. If you are interested in one of the other person's hobbies, ask them how you can also try.
- For example, you could say something like, “Oh, I've never tried making furniture. What is the easiest thing for a beginner to do? "
- Remember not to overwhelm the other person or just talk about your interests. Ask questions about what the other person likes to do to keep a two-way conversation going.
Comment on movies, TV shows or books if you want to talk about pop culture. Many people share a common interest in the media, so talk about the trending movies or music you've just watched or heard to find out what they like. Ask what they've watched recently and hear them tell them why they like it. If you both watched or heard the same thing, you can comment on it to keep the conversation going.
- For example, can you say, "Have you seen the latest installment of" Star Wars "? How did you feel about the ending of the movie? " or “What kind of music do you like? Do you have any favorite musicians, would you recommend it to me? "
- Even if you disagree with their opinion, keep a positive attitude and say something like "Oh I never thought so, but I understand what you mean." As such, the other person is still interested in the topic of the conversation, not out of interest.
- If you don't understand what the other person is saying, ask them to speak more clearly or explain it so you can understand better. If you are not familiar with the media they are talking about, you can definitely say "I don't know".
Talk about your past experiences if you want to create an open atmosphere with the other person. If you feel comfortable with the person you are talking to, you can ask about their experiences and their future plans. Encourage them to tell funny stories from their past life, what their family was like, or what goals they have. Open up and tell them about your experiences so you can share and connect with each other.
- For example, you can say “Where is your hometown? Do you like it there? ” or "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
- Strangers may feel awkward if you ask too much about their private life the first time you meet them. You should only ask more personal stories if you both feel comfortable.
- Never act “out of people” or try to impress the other person, as they may be upset and not want to talk anymore.
Ask the person's opinions about current events to engage them in the conversation. Watch current events in the press or the media and mention it when talking to the other person. Find at least one or two events from the past week to include in the conversation. Hear what they think about the news and ask how they feel. You should also prepare your opinion as they may ask you the same thing.
- For example, you could say something like “Have you heard of the newly released music app? I read it in the newspaper. "
Careful: Be cautious when discussing hot topics, such as politics or religion, as these could make the other person angry or unwilling to talk.
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Method 3 of 3: Maintain concentration in conversation
Listen actively so that you can respond to the other person. Put away your phone and focus on who is talking. Ask questions based on what they say to stay focused on the conversation.
- When the other person is finished, briefly repeat what they said to show that you are paying attention. For example, if they talk about their buying a new car, you might ask, “What kind of car do you end up buying? Does it work well? ”
- Don't think about wandering around while the other person is talking to avoid "he said chickens and ducks" because you don't know what they said.
Use the phrase "It reminds me" to move on to another topic. If the other person mentions something you can relate to while they are speaking, start with the phrase "It reminds me ..." before talking about your topic. This will make it easier for you to naturally switch the topic without creating awkward silence in the conversation. Make sure the topics are related in some way for a smooth transition and that the other person is more likely to follow.
- For example, if they are talking about fine weather, you could say “It reminds me of the beautiful Hawaiian sky when I was traveling there. Have you been to Hawaii? ”
Advice: You can use the phrase “It reminds me of…” after a pause if you mention something happening around you. For example, if you have just finished saying something to the other person when a musician comes up, you could say “This guy reminds me of another musician” and then move on to the topic of music.
Say what you have suddenly thought about so that the conversation goes on in a fun way. If an idea comes to mind in some random silence, speak it up and ask the other person what to think about it. Don't interrupt the other person while they are speaking, as this is impolite. Make sure that the topic you're talking about doesn't upset the other person, lest they don't want to talk anymore.- For example, you could say “I just remembered a story that was fun to read online. Do you wanna hear?"
- The other person may not want to talk about a random topic if you haven't told them before.
Advice
- When you talk to someone they don't respond to or don't seem comfortable, you can stop talking if you want.
Warning
- Avoid topics that might trigger a heated debate, such as politics or religion.
