Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Make eye contact
• Method 2 of 3: Speak to a crowd
• Method 3 of 3: Practice good eye contact
• Tips
• Warnings

Making eye contact can be quite tricky, especially if you're shy or nervous. Nevertheless, making good eye contact is important to build trust and to be able to captivate the people around you. Even if you're struggling to maintain eye contact right now, a little practice is all you need to do to confidently hold someone's gaze.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Make eye contact

1. Turn your shoulders and head to the other's eyes. By opening your body to the other person, you let them know that you are listening, engaged, and willing to communicate. It also makes eye contact easier and more natural to maintain. Stand about two feet away from the other person's face.
2. Choose a focal point near the eyes. Usually this is one of the other person's eyes, but if that makes you uncomfortable, you can look between the eyes, just below or above the eye or at the earlobe.
3. Make friendly eye contact. Think about how you would look at a painting or a great view - you don't focus intently on his or her eye, but instead look at the person with kindness. Keep your eyes in this position and don't let them jump back and forth. Relax your gaze by breathing slowly while making eye contact and nodding occasionally as you listen.
4. Break eye contact every 5 to 15 seconds. Too much eye contact can be as much of a turnoff as no eye contact at all. You don't have to count the seconds, although every now and then you have to look away for a while to keep the conversation smooth and easy, but only for a few seconds. Some casual ways to do this include:
   • Laugh, nod and acknowledge the other.
   • Looking at the sky / weather.
   • Just look aside, as if you remember something.
   • Run your hands through your hair.

Method 2 of 3: Speak to a crowd

1. Look slightly above the crowd. You will never be able to make eye contact with everyone in a large group, so don't even try! Focus your eyes about two or three inches above the heads of the group without focusing on a particular person.
   • When standing on a stage or rising above the crowd, focus on the center of the crowd without focusing on a particular person.
2. Change your look every few sentences. Do not keep looking straight ahead all the time while speaking. Turn your head in a different direction every now and then. Try looking at all parts of the crowd a few times so that everyone in the entire audience feels like they have your attention.
3. Alternatively, choose four or five people to watch. This works best if you know a few people in the crowd that you feel comfortable talking to, such as speaking in class. Just focus your gaze from one to the other every 10 to 15 seconds.
4. Move your gaze from person to person in small groups. If you keep eye contact with just one person all the time, the rest of the group may lose interest or feel left out. As you speak, look in each person's eyes for 5 to 10 seconds before slowly moving to another person.
   • This works best with groups of three to five people.
5. Make full eye contact when someone else is speaking in a group. This will let the speaker know that he (or she) has your attention, listens to him and cares about what he has to say. The speaker will likely keep eye contact with you briefly so that it doesn't get uncomfortable.

Method 3 of 3: Practice good eye contact

1. Make a conscious effort to slowly start making eye contact. Don't try to force yourself to hold the gaze of everyone you meet when you feel uncomfortable. Start slow and remind yourself to make eye contact in every conversation.
   • It's easier to practice while listening to someone rather than when you're talking.
2. Connect "with the whole face" to make your eyes appear more natural. Smile and nod along with the conversation, alternating your gaze on both eyes, nose, and mouth of the person. You don't have to make eye contact all the time when you talk - change your expression or look away to maintain the other person's interest.
3. Practice with a TV, web camera, or mirror. If you have trouble with real people, you can practice with a screen or mirror. Try to make eye contact with all possible characters on TV or video blogs. News channels, with the presenter looking straight into the camera, are a great way to practice comfortably at home.
4. Know when good eye contact is essential. Making eye contact is a sign of trust, reliability and openness and helps in a variety of social situations. However, there are some situations where it is essential to be successful:
   • Job interviews: Good eye contact tells a boss he or she can trust you. Make sure to look the person in the eye while you are talking as it will assure him or her that you know what you are talking about.
   • Dates: Eye contact can help you make an intimate connection, but it can be difficult to look away when sitting across from each other. Hold your gaze longer than usual to show your attraction.
   • Quarrels: Strong eye contact is a sign of assertiveness and strength. Hold your opponent's gaze for a longer period of time so you don't appear weak or insecure.

Tips

• Be self-assured! The more you believe in yourself, the easier it is for you to make eye contact.
• Practice makes perfect! You can practice eye contact with someone you know and trust well so that you get used to it. Your parents, siblings or your cat can be of great help!
• Do not exaggerate! Normal eye contact involves looking at the eyes 30 percent of the time and in the general direction of the person the rest of the time. Using 60 percent eye contact can indicate attraction or aggression.
• By making eye contact, the person will think that you are listening very carefully and carefully.

Warnings

• Levels of appropriate eye contact differ from culture to culture. For example, in many East Asian cultures, making direct eye contact with a person considered an authority figure is seen as rude, meaning that Asian people living in Europe or the United States are likely to make less eye contact than Westerners and are therefore immediately considered shy or perceived as unreliable.