Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 5: Examining your feelings
• Part 2 of 5: Decide what to do
• Part 3 of 5: Considering moving
• Part 4 of 5: Hiding your feelings
• Part 5 of 5: Express your feelings
• Tips
• Warnings

You have finally found someone to live with! Everything is going great and all of a sudden you think more and more about your roommate and talk about that person every chance you get. You never intended to That develop feelings for your roommate. While you may not want to complicate things, you will need to take steps to deal with the situation for your own good.

To step

Part 1 of 5: Examining your feelings

1. Give yourself a cooling off period. You may be grateful and happy to have a roommate with whom you can share living space and expenses, and a close friend you can trust. If you give yourself a month or two just to let those feelings be, you may find that they weaken into feelings of friendship.
   • Think about the reasons you want to date your roommate. What is it about the person you find attractive? Do you have the same values ​​and beliefs? If you have legitimate reasons for wanting to date, that's one thing. On the other hand, if it's just the thought of always having someone physically and emotionally present that you like, then it's probably not a good idea.
2. Fight the urge to open your mind right away. You may have the urge to just talk about how you feel, and it may end up being the result. In the beginning, however, you should give yourself time to consider where your feelings are coming from.
   • Ultimately, if you do want to share how you feel, the time you have taken to explore your feelings will help you express yourself rationally and clearly.
3. Don't ignore your roommate. When you are in love with someone, it can sometimes be difficult to talk to them without feeling like you are giving up your feelings. Try to keep everything as normal as possible.
   • Maintain the same habits you normally would. If you start acting strangely, your roommate may think something is up, and may even think they've done something wrong.
   • Keep in mind that this step is not intended to be a long-term solution. By keeping things as normal as possible, you have time to think about your feelings and time to decide what to do without shaking things up and forcing you to make hasty decisions.

Part 2 of 5: Decide what to do

1. Determine whether the feelings are mutual or not. What you ultimately do with your feelings for your roommate should depend on whether you believe those feelings are mutual or not. Look for signs that your roommate has feelings for you too. If you think the feelings are not mutual, you may want to bring them up anyway, but without hoping that your feelings will be reciprocated.
   • Be honest with yourself. When we have feelings for someone, we tend to see what we want to see. If you're not clear whether your roommate has feelings for you, chances are there aren't any.
   • What does your roommate's body language indicate? When you talk, does the other person often touch you? For example, does your roommate often laugh and touch your arm often? When you talk, do you get the other person's full attention, or is your roommate not looking at you? Someone who is interested will make a lot of eye contact and will want to give you full attention.
   • Does your roommate have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or someone they talk about a lot? If the person is already in a relationship, it would be unfair to force yourself into that relationship. If there's someone the other person talks about all the time or you know your roommate is interested in, it's a pretty clear indication that you need to keep your distance.
2. Find out what your options are. This refers to your options in terms of moving versus staying in the apartment. Can you afford to move? Do you know where you are going? Can you find a new roommate if the person chooses to move? If you can't afford to move, it's probably best to keep your feelings to yourself, at least until you know where you're going.
   • If you tell your roommate about your feelings, they may decide to move. The person can also ask you to move. If you are convinced that you absolutely cannot keep your feelings to yourself, then you must be prepared for this reality.
   • Can you pay your share of the rent for the remainder of the lease, in addition to a new apartment? If not, could you find a suitable replacement roommate to take over your share of the rent?
3. Make an exit plan. Whether or not you decide to tell your roommate about your feelings, it's a good idea to have an exit plan in place in case your feelings start to cause you stress and anxiety. If you decide to admit your feelings, an exit plan is important because you need to be clear that you are willing to move if the other person wants to.
   • What is the living situation where you live? In some larger cities, the rental market is very competitive, making it very difficult and expensive to find an apartment. Understand the reality of the situation and how long it will realistically take to find a new apartment.
   • Ask if you can stay with a friend or family. This may be an option for you if you need some time to find a new place, and if staying in the apartment will cause too much stress and awkwardness. If you can find a friend or family member to stay in for a few weeks, you'll have some time to find a new place, as well as some space to process your feelings.
   • Contact the university housing department. If you live in a college residence, you should contact them to see what your options are. This department is set up to make sure you have a good experience in your dorm, and they will likely be willing to help out anyway if you explain the situation to them. You will have to be honest with them. Explain that you have developed romantic feelings for your roommate and that you have not yet decided what to do with those feelings, but that you are willing to move if necessary.

Part 3 of 5: Considering moving

1. Decide whether or not to leave. You can look for a different place to live for various reasons. If you've developed romantic feelings for your roommate that won't go away, consider finding a new place to live.
   • If you tell your roommate about your feelings for him or her, and those feelings are mutual, having your own space will give the new relationship the breathing room it needs to develop.
   • If you tell your roommate about your feelings but they don't reciprocate your feelings, moving will give you the space to move on and avoid awkward encounters with him or her or any future lover of your roommate.
   • If you don't tell the person about your feelings, moving will make it less uncomfortable if you decide to tell them. It will also give the other person the space to think about how they feel about you.
2. Give your roommate a reason for why you are leaving.If you've already confessed your feelings, then you can be honest about your reasons for moving. If you haven't told them, you can still be honest by saying, 'The truth is, I've developed feelings for you, and I think it's better to move so I have some room to deal with it. to go'. If you don't want to tell the truth, make something up. If you want to stay in touch with the other person, and perhaps move to the next level, try to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with him or her.
   • If you want to make up an excuse, you can say, for example, that you are having a hard time with the rent and that you have found a cheaper place.
   • You could also use the distance to work or school as an excuse.
   • If you can afford a place of your own, you could also say that you just want a space that is all your own.
   • Do this personally. If your roommate doesn't know that you have feelings for him or her, he or she may be very surprised by your announcement. Try to be delicate with it, and if possible, avoid making the other person feel like his or her fault.
3. Give your roommate a time frame. If you don't have a place to go yet, give yourself a deadline to leave the apartment. Depending on where you live and how difficult it is to find a new place, this can take weeks to months. This will also give the other an opportunity to find a new roommate, or relocate themselves, if that's what they want to do.
   • Strictly stick to this deadline. Tell your roommate what date you will be out so that they also have time to find a new roommate. By clearly indicating the date, you also remain faithful to your decision.
4. Keep the relationship good. If you do move, regardless of the circumstances, try to stay on good terms with your roommate. It's not your roommate's fault that you developed feelings for him or her.
   • This does not mean that you should keep in touch with the person if things are not going your way, but you should try to prevent the other person from feeling that they have done something wrong.

Part 4 of 5: Hiding your feelings

1. Learn to accept your platonic relationship. If for any reason you feel that it is better to hide your feelings, then you will have to accept that you will only be friends. By doing this, you will be able to keep the friendship and your life situation as it is.
   • Keep in mind that hiding your feelings for a long time can be painful and difficult for you to deal with. At some point, it is very likely that you will need to find another way to process your feelings. Either by talking about it or by leaving to get some space.
   • Remember that feelings are fleeting. It may take time, but eventually you will find someone else who is attracted to you, or someone can confess their feelings for you. Be patient with yourself.
   • Don't blame your roommate. This will cause resentment. It's not your roommate's fault that you got feelings for that person, and it's not your fault you got them. Don't be too hard on yourself or be angry with your roommate. Just try to accept that feelings have arisen.
   • If you do develop feelings of resentment that you can't handle, it may be time to consider moving.
2. Create a little distance. If you want to keep your feelings to yourself, it can be good to create a little distance between the two of you, which will give you time to cool down. However, try not to create so much distance that it puts a strain on your mutual relationship.
   • For example, if you and your roommate are always alone, try to get some other people in so it's not as intimate.
   • Try to avoid doing things that feel like a "date." Do not go to the movies, eat out or go to concerts alone. This will only encourage your desire and cause even more confusion.
3. Build a life outside the apartment. Spend time with your own friends or find a new hobby. Try to find a part-time job that takes you out of the house or spend more time studying in the library. Not only will engaging in outdoor activities be good for you, it will also help put your feelings into perspective, and may even help you get over those feelings.
   • You could try dating online to meet other people. Not only do you have something to do outside of the apartment, you could meet someone you find even more attractive than your roommate.

Part 5 of 5: Express your feelings

1. Confess your feelings. You can do this during a conversation and tell the other person without ado, or you can wait for a moment that feels more subtle.
   • You can do this in person or over the phone, but avoid this via text or email. Sending an SMS or e-mail makes you anxiously waiting for an answer. If the other person doesn't know how to handle it, they can even ignore it completely, making you wonder if your message has arrived.
   • If you confess your feelings, indicate that you do want to move. For example, you could say, "I want you to know how I feel, and I also want you to know that I respect your own space. If you don't feel comfortable living together anymore, I will move, and I won't blame you at all. "
   • If you want to tell the other person plainly, ask if you can go out for dinner or lunch together. Say you have something important to say, and that you hope that regardless of the outcome, you can still be friends. Explain that it is important to you and that you can figure out what you can do about it together. Be prepared that the other person may not reciprocate your feelings.
   • If you'd rather wait for an appropriate time, wait for a time when your roommate is complaining about relationships, and everyone who meets the other person is horrible for some reason. Then say something like, "Why don't you give me a chance?" - at this point the other person may think you are joking. Then reassure him or her that you are serious, and perhaps add something like, "I really want you out with you."
2. Give your roommate time and space to think. In either scenario, your roommate may indicate that you need time to think. Give the person this time, and while they think about it, try to keep it light and casual when the two of you see each other. In this way, the other person can be sure that it is possible to be honest about their own feelings.
   • Do your best to stay away from him or her. Let your roommate know that you want to respect their need for time to think and that you will be with someone else for a few days. If that is not possible, do your best to stay out of the apartment as much as possible, and when you are at home, try to stay in your room as much as possible.
3. Respect your roommate's answer. Hopefully your roommate won't make you wait too long for an answer, but be patient. You can hope for the answer you desire, but be prepared for the reality that you may be rejected, and may even be asked to relocate. Regardless of how they respond, be respectful.
   • If your feelings are reciprocated, great! Congratulations! But you need to talk to your new lover now about how things are going now. The most important question is whether you will continue to live together or whether one of you will move. At this point, you should also discuss what to do in the (hopefully unlikely) event that things go wrong.
   • If your feelings aren't reciprocated, deal with them in style. Don't scream or cry. Say something like, "That's a shame, but I understand." If this happens, find out where you can get over your feelings while you're still living in the same apartment or if you need to move. Either way, you should try to talk to your roommate about the next steps.
   • If you do get rejected, try to remind yourself that at least you know now. At the very least, you can feel the relief of finding out.

Tips

• It is essential to let the situation evolve. There is often a "pink" period when we meet someone new and we simply "fall in love". It's not always romantic love, even if it feels like it at first. Sometimes it's just a crush that we develop because we like everything about this person so much, and it will pass.

Warnings

• Don't just try something like trying to kiss your roommate. When you do this, it's pretty hard to fix things then, especially if your roommate doesn't feel the same way.
• Life is not a sitcom or a romantic comedy.Don't expect it to turn out the way it does on TV, because sooner or later you will be disappointed.