Dealing with fake friends

Content

To step
Part 1 of 3: Dealing with fake friends
Part 2 of 3: Becoming aware of problematic behavior
Part 3 of 3: Set boundaries when necessary
Tips

Fake friendships can sometimes be difficult to spot because people who are fake friends are often very good at manipulation and deception. Friendships where you feel that your needs are not fully supported or recognized are usually bogus. In some situations, you may be dealing with a fake friend. This could be a person you work with or someone from your circle of friends. Try to interact with these people in a way that does not drain you emotionally. Work on recognizing problematic behavior and letting it go. If the friendship becomes too much for you, find a way to end the relationship properly.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Dealing with fake friends

Set limits on your time and emotional space. It is not always realistic to give a fake friend a lot of your time and energy. Be aware of how much you can tolerate from this person and arrange your time with him or her accordingly.
- Remain restrained in your dealings with others. You shouldn't give someone a lot of time or attention if they consistently violate your boundaries, let you down, or otherwise disrespect you. False friends tend to engage in such behavior.
- You are under no obligation to respect anyone who does not respect you. If it is difficult to make plans or spend time with a fake friend, it is good to break away from them. You can still be around this person, especially in a group, but it's okay to stop having face-to-face or get into this friend's drama. You need to focus your emotional energy on real friends.
Have realistic expectations of a fake friend's behavior. Fake friends are unlikely to change their behavior, and in some cases, they can eventually turn into outright bullies. Therefore, be careful with your expectations when dealing with a fake friend. Keep in mind that this interaction can most likely be negative. Preparing yourself for bad behavior can help you feel less hurt or confused when it occurs.
- If your friend consistently gives Samantha underhand compliments or subtly puts you down, expect the same when you go out for a drink with her. Tell yourself, "This is exactly how Samantha is".
- Try not to expect too much from this person. If you invested in the relationship and it turned out to be fake, this could be a big setback. However, it is important for your own emotional satisfaction or well-being that you accept that you cannot rely on this person.
As you go along, keep an eye on the nature of the friendship. False friendships can sometimes take an ugly turn and be difficult to control in the long run. Consistently take stock of a fake friend's behavior. Watch for signs that the behavior is deteriorating, to the point that it borders on bullying.
- You should regularly take stock of the behavior of a fake friend. Ask yourself if his or her behavior has made you more uncomfortable or stressed lately. Is it getting harder to deal with this friend? Is this person creating more drama for you and your other friends?
- Friendships change over time. It's possible that a fake friend will change over a long period of time. Fake friends can turn into true friends over time. It's important to take stock of any changes in your relationship. If you feel like someone is becoming a better friend, you may still be able to have this person in your life.
Make sure to consider your own emotional needs. When you're dealing with fake friends, it's easier to put your needs and wants on hold. You may find yourself struggling to accommodate someone who is difficult to please. If you have more bad than good experiences with a person, make sure you put your own emotional needs first. It's okay to temporarily not hang out with the other person at all, or just give them a little less time and energy if the relationship is getting too tiring for you.

Part 2 of 3: Becoming aware of problematic behavior

Find out what behavior is unacceptable to you. You should not get involved with people who treat you in a way that you personally find unacceptable. If you hang out with fake friends, work on identifying what behaviors you will not tolerate. If your fake friends are acting this way, get away from them right away. You can identify unacceptable behavior by the way it makes you feel like unacceptable behavior.
- If you have constant arguments with this person that are not resolved, then they can seriously violate your boundaries. A fake friend may deny how you feel about their way of interacting with you and feel that you are hypersensitive.
- You should also not tolerate any behavior that makes you tense, anxious, or uncomfortable. Behavior that hurts your confidence or self-esteem is also unacceptable.
Watch for bullying. Fake friends can sometimes cross the line from hostile or competing friends to becoming bullies. If a relationship has turned into bullying, it is important that you strongly consider ending this relationship. Learn to recognize and be aware of the signs of bullying in a friendship.
- Bullys usually have very little self-esteem. Therefore, they seek people to dump their insecurities and frustrations. If a friend becomes a bully, he or she will be increasingly critical of you. He or she may also become temperamental and consistently say and do things that hurt your feelings.
- It can be hard to tell when someone has crossed the line of bullying, but it's important to be vigilant. Bullying can wreak havoc on your self-esteem over time. Pay attention to how someone treats you. If they repeatedly violate your boundaries and don't apologize, this person is probably bullying you. These types of relationships are usually best broken.
Pay attention to how real friends treat you. You want to learn to recognize real friends so that you can better distinguish the bad behavior patterns of fake friends. True friends are genuinely caring and helpful. They can help you determine how you deserve to be treated.
- A friend should make you happy all the time. Friends should get you excited to be around and always be kind and respectful of your boundaries. Unlike fake friends, friends simply appreciate you for being who you are. They don't expect you to be someone you are not.
- Friends can occasionally provide constructive feedback or let you know when they are concerned about your behavior. However, unlike fake friends, friends don't want you to feel bad. They want the best for you and always speak out because of genuine concern for your well-being.
Pay attention to interdependence. Fake friends are often dependent people. They can be emotionally manipulative. They crave friendships for their own sense of stability and don't understand how to truly appreciate others. You may not notice that someone is a fake friend, because dependence can often be masked as love or care, and is rarely aggressive. If you are in a dependent, somewhat spurious friendship, then you need to take steps to address the problem.
- A dependent friend will rarely be immediately assertive. In fact, they can often agree to what you want to do. Later, however, there will be consequences that they went along with it. They may later complain about dislike for the things you have done together and make increasingly unreasonable demands at social events.
- A dependent friend will struggle to take responsibility for his actions. They may lash out at you or deny their own guilt if you hold them accountable for the way they hurt you.
- If you are in a dependent relationship, you should strongly consider whether this relationship is worth your time. Dependent relationships can be exhausting and harmful in the long run.
Protect yourself from emotional blackmail. Fake friends will often engage in behaviors known as emotional blackmail. It is very important to get rid of this type of behavior and to focus on your own sense of happiness and security. Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation where someone uses anger, rage, or shame to force you to behave the way the other person wants.
- Fake friends can use emotional blackmail particularly well, because they mask negative comments as compliments. For example, you can do something your boyfriend doesn't like and he or she can say, "I really thought you were better than that. I can't believe you get involved in that kind of behavior. "
- Emotional blackmailers can also threaten you with anger or warnings if you don't behave the way they want to. For example, your friend might say, "I don't know what I'll do if you don't come to this party with me." It may just be that it hurts me so much that I end up drinking too much. "Emotional blackmailers try to make you feel responsible for their behavior.
- If someone is emotionally blackmailing you, don't cooperate. End conversations that are manipulative in nature and refuse to reply to texts or emails containing such blackmail.

Part 3 of 3: Set boundaries when necessary

Be aware of yourself and your needs. The first step to setting healthy boundaries is to be aware of your own needs in a relationship. Everyone has certain rights to enter into a relationship or friendship. Determine your rights so you can decide if a fake friend is worth your time or not.
- What makes you feel comfortable in a relationship? What are you looking for in a friend? Is it shared interests, kindness, compassion? Does this person meet those qualities?
- Is this person crossing your boundaries? Is he or she not concerned with you and your emotional well-being? You may need someone in your life who is capable of more compassion than a fake friend can give.
Decide if the friendship is worth keeping. Keeping a fake friendship isn't always worth it. It is good to take a different path if someone's behavior is becoming increasingly problematic for you.
- Think about the effect this relationship has had on your self-esteem. Do you feel worse about yourself when you are around this person? Have you internalized some of their criticism and complaints about you?
- Do you really want to see this person? Who knows, you may still interact with the other out of a sense of obligation. You may also feel tense dealing with this person. If so, it could be a false friendship.
Think about the correct way to end a toxic friendship. If you have determined that this friendship is not worth keeping, find a correct way to end the relationship. You should let this person know without delay that you no longer want him or her in your life.
- While it may feel cold, it may be easier to text or email. This can be especially helpful if the person in question is stressful to be around. You don't have to be caustic or make a list of grievances. A simple email should suffice. Try saying something like "I'm sorry, but I don't think this friendship really works."
- Control your emotions. Even if you are right to feel that you are being treated badly, blaming the other person can escalate the situation. You want to come out as clean as possible and avoid unnecessary drama and hostility.
Limit contact with fake friends without ending the relationship. You may not have to end every fake friendship. If this is someone you see every now and then, it may not be realistic to cut ties. You can have mutual friends, for example, or you can work together. Just accept that this is not someone you will see one-on-one often. Don't invite the person to do something with you alone or in smaller groups. Keep him or her on the periphery of your life.