Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Respond
• Method 2 of 3: Develop a strategy
• Method 3 of 3: Take care of yourself
• Warnings

It's not nice when someone insults or insults you. It can be hurtful if someone criticizes you, makes fun of you, or puts you down. However, there are ways you can deal with people who put you down and make them stop and leave you alone. All it takes is for you to learn to stand up for yourself and know how to respond when it happens.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Respond

1. Try not to respond immediately. If someone puts you down, it's best not to respond immediately. If you reply immediately or get angry, you will only reinforce his (or her) behavior. Then you give him what he wants - your reaction. Plus, it is also uncomfortable for yourself to get angry or to show other negative emotions. Because you might say or do things that you regret or you might harm yourself through stress.
   • Take one or two deep breaths. This helps you to stay calm.
   • Slowly count to five until you are sure you are calm.
2. Avoid bringing the other down as well. You may feel the urge to respond with an annoying comment, but if you do, you will come across as petty as he or she. The tension can then increase further, and it will not resolve anything.
   • If you respond with a bad comment, then you give him (or her) exactly what he (or she) wants, just like if you respond immediately.
   • Even though you have a tendency, don't respond to harsh comments or posts online by posting angry posts yourself.
   • Do not gossip about him (or her) at a later date. It may feel good at the time, but it won't solve your problem.
3. Ignore it. Sometimes silence is the best weapon. If you ignore the person who puts you down, you deprive them of the pleasure of getting a response from you. This prevents you from wasting your time and energy on someone who is not worth it. And, his (or her) bad behavior will then be in stark contrast to your good behavior.
   • Just pretend he didn't say anything.
   • Continue what you were doing without giving her (or him) a look.
   • Unless the person has a plate in front of their head, they will usually leave you alone if you ignore them.
4. Tell the person to stop. This is a very clear way to let them know that you want them to stop putting you down. If ignoring didn't help, or if the situation is particularly annoying or hurtful, telling them to stop can help.
   • Make sure you stay calm. Look into his eyes and make sure you have your voice under control, that you appear confident, and that your voice is clear.
   • For example, if a peer insults you, take a few deep breaths and then say, "Stop bringing me down."
   • If it's a colleague, you could say, “I don't like it / I don't appreciate how you talk to me and about me. I want you to stop putting me down. ”
   • If it's a friend who isn't being mean to you on purpose, you could say, “I know you don't mean it that way, but what you said hurt me. Please don't bring me down like that anymore. ”

Method 2 of 3: Develop a strategy

1. Understand why the person keeps putting you down. People who put others down can have a variety of reasons for this. They don't always do it on purpose, nor do they always do it to hurt you. Understanding why the person is doing it can help you determine how you want to interact with him (or her).
   • Some people put others down for being insecure or jealous. They then try to make themselves feel better by putting someone else down.
   • Some people do it because they are trying to impress someone or to get attention. For example, if a colleague criticizes your work in front of your boss.
   • Others don't realize they're doing it, or they just communicate poorly. For example, the grandmother who says, “That's a nice shirt. It covers your stomach very well. ”
   • Some people don't do it on purpose or to hurt you. They think they are just harmless teasing. For example, a friend who calls you "little one".
2. Set your limits. Some comments are just annoying and you can ignore them. However, there are also comments that are mean and hurtful, and something should be said about that. Knowing your limits can help you determine how you want to deal with the situation.
   • For example, if your brother slits you down, it can be annoying. But you know he probably doesn't mean it and he's not doing it to hurt you. It may not be necessary to talk to him about it at all, unless it really gets too bad.
   • However, a coworker who is always making harsh remarks to you and that upsets you probably needs to be held accountable for his or her behavior.
   • If the insults are of a discriminatory nature or are often expressed, then the person in question crosses your boundaries and that person must be dealt with, also by others.
3. Talk to colleagues and peers. People who don't know you well but who put you down are probably doing this with bad intent (or they're just plain annoying). Don't argue, but let the other person know it's not okay what he or she is doing.
   • If possible, make sure the conversation is private. This deprives the other person of the opportunity to perform a puppet show for other people, and you ensure that you maintain your self-esteem by not discussing these things in public.
   • You could say something like, “During the discussion we just had, you made some harsh comments about my idea. I like when people give me constructive feedback, but not when they insult me. Please don't do that again. ”
   • If he or she brings you down while you're trying to talk about it, end the conversation.
   • If he or she continues this behavior, you may need to tell others about it.
4. Be assertive when it comes to friends, girlfriends, siblings. While it can all start out as harmless teasing, sometimes it can go too far and you need to let the person know to stop. Don't laugh when you tell the person you want it to stop, or insult the other person. The other person will not take you seriously and will continue to put you down. Be assertive, and make sure your voice is calm and clear when telling the other person to stop.
   • For example, “Hahaha. Well stop it, you with your Dumbo ears, ”is not a good way to let your sister know you want her to stop putting you down.
   • Look into her or his eyes and try to say in a calm, serious way, “Okay. That's enough. I know you think it's funny, but it's really bothering me, so I'm asking you to stop. ”
   • If he or she doesn't stop right away, say, "I meant it when I asked you to stop," and then leave. He or she will likely come after you and apologize. Sometimes the people closest to us don't know when we really mean it.
5. Be respectful of authority figures. Sometimes parents, teachers, or executives bring us down without realizing it. Let these people know that it bothering you when they put you down and that you want them to stop. This makes the other aware of his or her behavior and what effect this has on you. This is also an important step in dealing with the situation in the longer term.
   • Go to the HR department at work and ask for advice on how to deal with it when your boss puts you down.
   • Talk to him or her only if you feel comfortable enough to do so. This allows you to talk to each other in a casual way.
   • Say something like, "If you say I do my job in a weird way, it really botheres me." Or, “I know I can't always get everything done, but please don't call me lazy. It hurts me. ”
   • Tell another adult you trust about the situation, or the HR department, if you don't feel comfortable talking to them one-on-one, or if you feel like they're talking to you. intentionally down.

Method 3 of 3: Take care of yourself

1. Do not take the comments personally. The other person's words are a reflection of who he or she is, and not yours. If he (or she) were a happy person, he wouldn't spend all the time pulling down the people around him. And, he probably does this to everyone, not just you. If you are touched by the derogatory comments, he wins. Don't allow your self-esteem to be affected by what he says or that you don't feel good about yourself.
   • Make sure you remember all the beautiful qualities you have by making a list of all your positive qualities.
   • Write down what he said to you. For each derogatory comment, write three things that show that the derogatory comment is incorrect.
   • List all the nice things people around you say about you.
2. make use of stress management strategies. It can be stressful when someone puts you down, especially if it happens repeatedly. Learn and apply some techniques that can help you reduce stress so that you can better deal with the person who keeps putting you down and the stress it causes you.
   • Do breathing exercises and meditate so that you can stay calm when the person is around you.
   • Practice mindfulness, because it teaches you to handle stress, and maybe the mindfulness can even help you stay neutral if he or she is bothering you.
   • Try doing something physical, such as jogging or swimming, to release some of the tension.
3. Ask for support. Tell someone about your situation and ask them to help you if the person is putting you down all the time or getting really mean. Tell someone if the person is an authority figure such as a teacher, parent, or boss. If you have a network that supports you, you can benefit from it in several ways. They can stand up for you if you are being harassed, and they can even take action by notifying others or the authorities.
   • Tell someone you trust what is happening. Tell them as many details as possible so that they understand the situation. Ask if he (or she) wants to help you get along with the person who keeps putting you down.
   • This can be as simple as asking a friend or girlfriend to be there when you ask the person to stop the annoying behavior.
   • This may include going to an agency that can provide assistance in your situation to complain about the person in question.
4. Try to associate with people who have a positive outlook on life. Spending time with positive people can help you get along better with someone who keeps putting you down. It also helps you take good care of yourself in general. Dealing with positive people also ensures that you experience less stress in your life. It can also provide some distraction and make you think less about the person who brought you down and all the negative feelings it evoked in you.
   • Try to hang out and talk to people who generally make you feel good.
   • Don't just talk about who's putting you down - do something fun instead!

Warnings

• If someone keeps making derogatory comments because of your race, age, sex, sexual orientation, or disability, make sure to write down the incident and go to the appropriate authority.
• If you are concerned that you may be in physical danger, go to the police immediately.