Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Send your child to school
• Part 2 of 3: Coping with the changes as a teenager
• Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your child's departure

It can be very difficult for parents to watch their child grow up. It often seems like they are transitioning far too quickly from cute little babies to moody teens and eventually becoming independent adults. Dealing with your child's growing up means that you must gradually be prepared for each new phase of life. It means holding firmly, but also letting go little by little, so that your child can become an independent person.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Send your child to school

1. Keep a positive attitude despite your fear and sadness. A positive attitude towards your child growing up is essential. Think about what your child has learned and be proud of it, just as you were proud of when he learned to walk independently or sleep alone.
   • Likewise, try to appreciate your child's growing skills, such as going to school alone, finishing homework without your help, and making decisions of your own.
   • Rather than grieving because your child is growing up, you are proud of him and proud of yourself because, with your support and love, you helped your baby grow up to be the child it became.
2. Let your child play independently before going to school for the first time. The desire to stay with your child to guide and protect them is strong and difficult to control. Often the first step to independence, and quite a challenge for parents and children, is to let them play alone in the garden.
   • Talk to your child and let them know what is and isn't allowed.
   • Let the child play, but keep an eye on them and be ready to respond.
   • When you see your child sticking to the agreements and behaving as you expect, you can gradually relax and take a step back.
3. Prepare your child for what to expect at school. Help it get ready for the daily routines, the expectations and the fun and fears that are part of going to school. At the same time, you will have to prepare yourself to let your child go.
   • Ask him / her about his / her doubts and fears and look for a solution together. This will remind you that your child still needs you, but in a different way.
   • Talk to your child and explain what to expect in kindergarten or school.
   • Practice going to school by getting up early, packing lunch, and driving your child to school. Show it where his class will be. This will help both of you to be emotionally prepared when the big day finally arrives.
4. Fill the void in your schedule with something positive. While it is certain that you are busy enough, there may be a feeling of emptiness in your daily schedule now that your child is attending school. Fill that gap with something satisfying that will ease the transition and benefit you and your child in the long run.
   • Even if you haven't gotten some free time now that your child has gone to school, it is a good time to start a new hobby. This time feels like a new phase in your life because it is, and it is therefore a good time to work on yourself, broaden your horizons, or try something you've always wanted to do.
   • You probably have plenty of opportunities to volunteer and get involved with your child's school. This can provide a positive outlet and a new bond with your child. However, be careful not to use such opportunities as a means of "holding" your child. Even at this young age, you have to start letting go little by little.

Part 2 of 3: Coping with the changes as a teenager

1. Talk to your child about the physical changes they go through as a teenager. Your child is growing up, which becomes clear when you notice the physical changes in their body. Use your experience and understanding to reassure and guide your child through this transition.
   • The known physical changes that are occurring at this time are caused by the hormonal changes in the body. The different endocrine glands produce hormones that lead to changes in the body.
   • These hormonal / physical changes are also accompanied by emotional and mental changes.
   • Be open to answering questions when the physical changes begin. It is best to start discussing the physical changes before adolescence. Tell the teen that these changes are normal and part of growing up. Be open and honest and answer all questions promptly, despite any understandable (and mutual) inconvenience.
   • While many schools devote special lessons to these subjects when the children reach adolescence, it is better not to rely solely on them. Combining school knowledge of changes in the body with your own perspective will better prepare your child and encourage them to confide in you and talk about them when the changes occur.
2. Prepare for the emotional ups and downs of your child's life stage. The hormonal changes your child goes through affect the brain. Therefore, the teen's interests, needs, and desires will begin to change. You can be almost certain that moodiness and irritability will be more common during this phase.
   • Your child may want to be independent and refuse to even talk to you about how his or her day has been. The next day, your child can demand all of your attention and insist that you listen to him / her. Just listen. He / she will let you know if there is a need for advice or an opinion.
   • Know that your child loves you, even if they act like a grouchy brat. These mood swings are the result of the sudden and fluctuating hormonal levels in the teen's body. But don't forget that just because your child threatens to bite your head off at the slightest provocation doesn't mean he / she doesn't love you!
3. Show your child that you support and love him / her. If your child wants to try something new, give them your support. Whether your child succeeds or not, give them your support. In this way you emphasize the lasting role you have as a parent and participate in his growth process.
   • Your child's emotional mood swings can put a strain on your nerves, but don't forget that it affects your child too. Your child is trying to develop an individual personality while dealing with these changes, and needs all of your support at this point.
   • Regardless of what the problem is, express yourself clearly to your child. Tell them that you love him / her and that you will always be there to support him / her. This forms an anchor for the teenager that is needed during a crisis.
   • Remember, a child's brain isn't fully developed until early in their twenties. It is possible that this incomplete development of the brain is the cause of the emotional immaturity that is often so frustrating for parents.
4. Accept new relationships but set boundaries. When children notice the changes in their bodies, they undergo a new and unknown series of social experiences. This can manifest through new friendships and the budding of romantic interests.
   • Keep the lines of communication open. When you accept your child's choices about friends, he is less likely to distance himself from you and the teen is more likely to be open about what is going on in his life.
   • Keep in mind that your child will hang out with new groups of children. Teens tend to feel safe when they are part of a group. They have a strong urge to become part of a group of friends because they have not yet developed their own unique identity.
   • Make an effort to talk and spend time together. Eat meals together and talk to each other. You want to be a friend.
   • However, you will also need to set boundaries, as children this age tend to engage in risky behavior. Establish clear boundaries between good and bad behavior, between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
5. Realize that your child will not need you as often, or at least not in the same way. This is the time when your child begins to have an increasing desire to be independent. The teen is likely to spend more time with friends than with you.
   • Give your child space, but be there when your child needs you. Give your child some breathing space and the opportunity to solve their own problems. If you are overprotective and want to solve all the problems for your child, he or she will be less able to deal with the important issues in life.
   • This is also a good time to talk about money matters. The weekly pocket money is probably no longer enough to go to the movies or go out for dinner with friends. Discuss your household budget with the teen in an adult way, and help him / her make some extra money if necessary. Making money of your own is good for building a sense of self-worth and independence.
6. Pay attention to yourself. Raising a child, regardless of age, is a strenuous effort, but raising a teen can be the last straw. As you help the child cope with the stress of all the changes and challenges, remember to work on limiting your own stress. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take good care of your child.
   • Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, find time to relax and do fun things, and ask your partner, family member, friend, etc. for help with dealing with the stress you are feeling .
   • Your child looks at you and learns by imitating, even if he / she is a teenager who seems eager to deny your existence. Show that it is essential to take care of your own body and mind.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your child's departure

1. Understand the “empty nest syndrome”. You may think that you will love having all that extra free time (and space in the house) that becomes available when your child starts living on their own, only to discover that you are sad and don't know what to do with your time. Letting go, and the adjustment afterward, are tough things to do, even though you know your child is ready.
   • First, acknowledge to yourself that your child no longer needs your help every day. He / she may no longer have such a strong preference for your company and you will not be initiated into all the nuances of her life. This is normal and it is normal to feel angry.
   • As an adult parent, you will need to understand the changes that are taking place within your child's adult life. Know that your child loves you and does not want to be hateful.
   • It is normal to feel a sense of loss at such a time, even if you are lucky enough to see your child on a regular basis. Don't ignore or deny these feelings; accept them as a natural part of the parenting process. You have dedicated your life to protecting and nurturing your child, so it will inevitably be difficult to let go of your child.
2. Do your best to spend time together. When your child becomes an independent adult, it does not mean that he / she is gone from your life forever. In fact, in some ways your child may need you now more than ever. Make the most of the time you spend together, whether it's important days or relaxing moments.
   • Today's technology allows you to be in constant contact with your child, either over the phone or over the Internet. Stay connected and be a part of your child's adult life. But don't overdo it (call every day, for example), or your child may become estranged from you. Remember, your child is trying to figure out how to navigate life as an independent adult.
   • Make sure you are there for your child when he or she wants to talk or come over. Don't miss these opportunities, because you never know how often this will happen as your child's life gets busier.
3. Learn to let go. Don't cling to your adult child, trying to protect him / her from all harm. Give it the freedom to make its own mistakes and achieve success. We all learn best from our own experiences and our own mistakes.
   • Don't always be the saving angel. Offer advice when asked, but otherwise just show sympathy and understanding. You are not doing your adult child a favor by trying to solve all life problems for him / her.
   • Sometimes your very solid advice will simply be ignored, and you will have to accept it as part of your child's learning in life.
   • Support your child's career, even if you hoped they would aspire to a different career. Don't try to make your own dreams come true through your child. When a career is pursued with passion, the child will become more confident.
4. Get moving and get started. Do things you couldn't do when your child was still at home. Parenting is a serious business that requires that you give your child your full attention and that you have little time for yourself. Deal with the fact that your child has grown up by devoting more time to yourself.
   • Find a hobby or something to do that you never had the time to do before when there was a child in the house. Or dedicate yourself to exercise and your overall health, or pay more attention to your career (especially if you enjoy this).
   • Schedule time to do something with friends. In this way you can compensate for a feeling of loneliness, through discussion and the exchange of experiences.
   • Do things you enjoy doing. You will always be a parent, but never forget that you are also a unique person. Do you remember the dreams and ambitions you had before your child was born? Now is the time to think about it again and make plans.
   • When you make a conscious effort to move on with your life now that your child has grown up, you will not have such a lost feeling when he leaves the house. Empty nest syndrome is difficult and painful to deal with, but it gets easier with foresight and an independent purpose in life.