Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Changing your perspective
• Part 2 of 3: Taking action
• Part 3 of 3: Taking action to relax
• Tips

Have people told you that you are too tense? Do you feel like you can never relax a bit even when everyone around you is acting crazy and having a good time? Would you like to know how to deal with a joke? If so, it's time to put on those sweatpants, put your worries aside, and learn to break free! If you want to know how to turn a nail-biting nerve into someone who enjoys sun, sea and sand without caring, other than when the sun goes down, read on to Step 1 to get started.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Changing your perspective

1. Accept that you don't have everything under control. One of the main reasons some people have a hard time loosening up is because they want to be in control of every situation. They want to be able to predict exactly what will happen and when. They want to know when they will succeed, how their boss / girlfriend / parents will respond, and they want to know exactly what to do to get what they want. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. It is full of surprises and unexpected events, both good and bad. If you really want to be more relaxed with things, then you have to expect the unexpected.
   • Take baby steps to get there. One way to start is to first consider which different outcomes are possible. Let's say you are eligible for a promotion. Rather than assuming you'll get it, think about the different options and how you'll respond to them - maybe you'll get the promotion, or be told you'll get it soon, or be told you'll have to work harder if you really want that promotion. Whatever happens, if you are prepared for it, you will freak out less when "the unexpected" happens.
   • There are things you cannot prepare for in advance. Maybe you and your boyfriend are on your way to a romantic getaway and your engine breaks down. Yes, it is annoying, but sometimes you have to learn to laugh at the things that you cannot control.
   • Stop planning all the details. If you obsessively plan every 15 minutes of your day, you're guaranteed to be frustrated and disappointed when things don't go your way.
2. Let go of unrealistic expectations. This is another thing that might get in the way of you getting calmer. You may expect everyone to be their best behavior 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You may think that your teachers, your boss, friends, loved ones, or anyone else in your life is able to read your mind all the time. You may think the world should give you what you deserve. Well, if you want to relax, you have to learn to accept the imperfections of the world around you - if you want to be able to control how everyone around you should act, then you have to play "the Sims".
   • When you no longer expect people to behave the way you want them to behave, you will be pleasantly surprised if they exceed your expectations.
   • People are not perfect. Sometimes they are rude, insensitive and immature. And that's okay. This goes back to "letting go of the control" thing - let go of your high expectations of everything around you and you are guaranteed to be able to relax more.
   • This is also about letting go of the unrealistic standards you set for yourself. If you expect to be a CEO, Oscar-winning actress, or celebrated author by the time you turn 25, you're bound to be tense and disappointed when it isn't going to be.
3. Be relaxed when making mistakes. Anytime tense people freak out that something they've planned isn't going perfectly because they've made a mistake, big or small. You need to learn to embrace failure as a learning experience, rather than punish yourself for not doing something as well as you might have done. Mistakes are a part of life and life wouldn't be fun if we all performed our duties as robots. If you made a mistake, think about what you learned from it, what you would have done differently, and how you can use this knowledge in the future.
   • People who are tense are so stuck expecting to be perfect that they feel like big losers when they make a mistake somewhere.
4. Learn to let things take their course. People who are trapped worry about every little thing someone does wrong and every little annoying personal characteristic that someone has around them. Sure, Karin drank too much at your birthday party, or your classmate forgot to do his part of your project and that's annoying, but how much energy do you want to spend on wishing other people to behave differently? The answer is, nothing at all. Learn to take a deep breath, accept that the world is populated by all kinds of people, and get on with your day.
   • If someone really engages in annoying behavior that is driving you crazy, take a deep breath, take a bathroom break if necessary, and learn to look beyond it. The worst thing you can do is tell everyone within 15 miles how annoying the person's behavior is - doing that will make you appear very cramped and guaranteed to feel worse.
   • Try to think about the importance of things. Will Berend's antics or Marta's use of language irritate you permanently, even tomorrow? If the answer is no, why not stop getting annoyed right now?
5. Have a realistic idea of ​​what to expect in certain situations. This can also help you loosen up a bit. Before a situation arises, make a list of all the different things that can happen, instead of the one thing you expect will happen, and you'll feel better. Let's say you're throwing a birthday party. At best, everyone shows up, it's the best party ever, people will talk about it for years to come, etc. But more realistically, some things are bound to go wrong: maybe some guys who promised to come won't make it, a few people will have five tequila shots too many and may fall into your bookcase, and your crush may be acting weird. The more scenarios you have in mind, the less likely you are to flip if something doesn't go according to plan.
   • That's not to say you shouldn't have a positive attitude and expect the best. But if you are aware of the other possibilities, if something not so great happens, the chances are that you will freak out and make a scene.
6. Don't take yourself too seriously. This is another quality that cramped people share. You may find it difficult to laugh in the face of a crisis, to understand when someone is just teasing you, or even to understand your own problems because you think you are a very serious, important, busy person who shouldn't be bothered with his or her its own imperfections. List your shortcomings and learn to enjoy them! It is better to realize your weaknesses than to have someone else point them out to you.
   • The key is not to be overly sensitive. If you pretend to cry or get upset about every little thing someone says about you, no one will feel like they can relax around you. You don't want to be that person who stops people from having some innocent fun, do you?
7. View the situation from another person's perspective. Another trick to being able to relax is to understand the background of all those annoying people you have trouble with. So Martha got too drunk at your birthday party and tried to stick with your lamp. Maybe that's annoying, but don't forget that Marcia was dumped that week and she hasn't quite been herself ever since.Maybe Mark didn't turn in his project on time, but don't forget that he took care of his sick mother and had a hard time. People are people, and considering some of the reasons people might not behave the way you want them to behave, you may find it easier to accept their behavior.
   • This does not mean that there is always a good reason for someone to cross the line. But more often than not, if you dig deeper, you can find an explanation for it. And that's where people who need to learn to relax thrive on - statements.

Part 2 of 3: Taking action

1. Act crazy. You can still consider yourself the smart or the serious and have some fun every now and then. Go bowling. Play Hints. Get a little tipsy on wine and giggle with your girlfriends. Give the dumb costumes a try. Run on the beach. Do something that requires 0% of your brain power. It will feel good. Let go of those worries, ambitions and problems and just live in the moment. Living in the moment, being fun and going crazy will help you be a happier and less tense person.
   • Be spontaneous. You don't have to schedule time for mindless fun. If you're hanging out with friends and suddenly don't feel like talking about your stock options, go crazy!
   • Do something completely new. Take a salsa class, go to a comedy show, or have fun putting temporary tattoos on your friends' faces. If a teen would like it, even better!
2. Learn to accept a joke. This is the key to acting less convulsive. If someone teases you, makes fun of you, or makes a joke in response to a comment you've made, then you should learn to laugh it off - and maybe even hit back with a funny comment right away! If you can never handle a joke about you, even if it is harmless, then you will have a reputation for being convulsive and not very pleasant to deal with. Laugh at yourself, agree with the other person, and then immediately rebound the joke. If the joke is really meant to hurt, then you have the right to get angry, but in most cases people just want to tease you and let you know that no one is perfect!
3. Break some rules. This doesn't mean breaking into a car or stealing an iPod. But it does mean that you have to stop obsessing about being so obsessed with following the rules that you go nuts when you see someone break them. Do not follow every assignment to perfection. It will feel good if you do things your way instead of doing things the way other people want them all the time.
   • And if you hang out with friends who are acting a bit reckless - drinking too much, speeding, being annoying at the drive-thru - then you can indeed be the person who says it's done, or go along and see nothing goes wrong.
4. Take a break. Sometimes you just need to take a break in the middle of all the action to really relax. If you're super tense about work, school, or even on a fun outing with friends, all you need to do is cool off for a few minutes, step outside, look at cute pictures of cats, call your mom, or just do what you think is necessary to feel normal again. There's nothing wrong with taking a break, and it's not a weakness. If this helps you act less cramping, then go for it!
   • If you are really a hardworking person, you may feel like you don't have a moment of rest until a task is done - in reality, if you take a half hour break from your task, you will often be able to do it. easier and with a clearer head to get done.
5. Get some rest. One of the reasons you may find it so difficult to loosen up is because your body is chronically exhausted without you realizing it. When you get enough rest, you'll have more energy and peace of mind to face the day, and don't let the most basic of challenges throw you off. Aim to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep and go to bed around the same time every night and wake up around the same time every morning. Limit your caffeine after noon so that you don't feel tense and restless when it's time to go to bed. These small changes can have a major impact on how you see the world.
   • If you feel really stressed in the middle of the day, don't underestimate the power of a good 15-20 minute nap to help reboot your system.
6. Go outside. Just getting outside, getting some fresh air, and walking around for 20 minutes a day can make you feel more relaxed, more peaceful, and more at one with the world. Make sure to go outside at least 2-3 times a day if you work from home or simply if you tend to spend most of your time at home. You will be surprised how relaxed and refreshed you feel from being outside, and how much less the little things will disturb you.
7. Hang out with relaxed people. This is an important one. If you want to be able to break free and not be so obsessed with perfection, then you need to hang out with other people who are much calmer than you. They don't have to be guitar playing hippies, but people who are much less obsessed with the small details of life and who know how to be spontaneous and relax when they feel like it. These people will affect you and you will feel more relaxed in no time.
   • At the other end of the spectrum, hanging out with people who are super cramped, obsessed with perfect grades, the perfect career, etc., will make you even more tense.
8. Clean up your life. While organizing your desk or cleaning your closet doesn't sound like the way to a more relaxed life, you will find that if you are more organized and get ahead of everything, you will actually feel like a more relaxed person. You may find it hard to relax because you can't find anything in your closet or because important documents keep getting lost, or just because of all the clutter in your life. So take some time (maybe just 30 minutes a day) to clean up your environment, and you'll be amazed at how much lighter you will feel.
9. Exercise. Exercise will help you let off steam, give your body a positive outlet and give you the energy you need to get through the day. Try to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, whether you're running, cycling, climbing, or swimming, and you'll see that you can burn off a lot of that negative pent-up energy. Ask a buddy to work out together so you can laugh while burning some calories.
   • If you're super stressed all the time, you may feel like you don't have time for things like exercise. But if you can adjust your schedule, you will find that you can make time for your mind and body.

Part 3 of 3: Taking action to relax

1. Get a massage. Go to a massage parlor and let that tension in your neck, back, and body massage away. If you don't feel comfortable with this, get a massage from a trusted person. It will certainly help you to relax, especially during times of high stress or tension. Don't push it aside until you've tried it. Before you know it, you might be signing up for a weekly massage!
2. Practice yoga. Yoga has been proven to have countless benefits for your mind and body, including relaxing and living in the moment. You can take a class in power yoga if you prefer a workout, or a more calming and meditation-oriented class if you want to focus on your mind. Just doing yoga 2-3 times a week can really help you loosen up and feel more centered. If you really enjoy the lessons, you can eventually even practice at home.
3. Go dance. Turn on some music and dance alone in your room or join a spontaneous dance competition with your friends. Whether you're at home, going out, or signed up for a dance class, dancing can help you get rid of some of that negative energy, learn to experiment and not take yourself so seriously, and can generally help you to relax and have fun.
4. Meditate. Just meditating for 10-20 minutes a day can help you feel looser and more relaxed throughout the day. Find a quiet place in your house, sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Feel the breath flow in and out of your body as you relax your body in steps. Ignore any noises and distractions that get in your way and focus on reaching a quiet, happy place. When you are done, you will be much better equipped to take on the challenges that lie ahead.
5. Have a cup of tea or coffee. For many people, the routine of making a cup of tea or coffee is just as relaxing as the drink itself. So take part in the morning ritual to start the day calm and relaxed. Be careful not to overdo it with the caffeine, or you can get more tense.
6. Laugh more. Laughter really is the best medicine and it can certainly help you loosen up no matter how bad your day is. Make it a habit to laugh more in your daily life, whether it's watching a comedy, watching silly videos on YouTube, hanging out with your funniest girlfriend, or going to a comedy theater performance. While it may sound silly to "force" yourself to laugh, this can help to take any challenges with a grain of salt and laugh at your weaknesses from a distance, instead of feeling tense when something goes wrong.
7. Wonder if you need to make a big change in your life to really become less tense. Maybe your job is sucking your whole life out of you. Perhaps your three best friends are neurotic patients who turned you into a complete nervous system for no reason. Maybe you have put in way too much effort to do exactly what your parents expect of you and feel like you don't have the leeway to do what you really want to do. If changing your attitude and making a series of small changes just isn't working for you, then you may need to stop and think about any major changes needed for your future happiness.
   • List all the things that cause you stress and unhappiness. If you notice a pattern and see that most of it comes from one source, it may be time to take a big step. This can be scary, but it will eventually make you a happier person!

Tips

• Take a walk alone.
• Loosen your muscles. Let your shoulders hang loose.
• Don't do work while trying to relax.
• Take a deep breath.
• Try to enjoy nature. Water your plants. Sit in your yard.
• Eat something tasty.
• Sip water slowly.