Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Evaluate your relationship
• Part 2 of 3: Improve your communication
• Part 3 of 3: Spending time together

If you think your relationship with your partner is suffering or going through a rough patch, you may have no idea how to save the relationship. Many couples go through periods when they argue a lot or don't work together as a team. Evaluating your relationship, adjusting your communication with your partner, and planning space to be together can help save your relationship and get you through this difficult time together.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Evaluate your relationship

1. Find out if both of you are eager to save the relationship. It's important that you both want to work together to renew the relationship and make it better than the relationship was in the past. You can both verbally state this as a way to show that both of you want to invest in the relationship. If your partner is unsure about their desire to save the relationship, you may wonder how much this relationship means to them. It can be difficult to save the relationship if you don't both want to go for it.
2. Think about the reasons you are still together. Before you get started on the rescue of your relationship, sit down and ask yourself what drew you to your partner in the first place and how these qualities have changed or shifted. Take a moment to reassess your reasons for being with this person, to remind yourself why you want to stay with them to work on renewing your relationship.
   • You and your partner can also do this together. Be willing to receive and give constructive criticism and use "I" statements. For example: "I have the feeling that we used to spend more time together. In my opinion we hardly see each other anymore". Or, “I've always loved your energy and zest for life. But I've noticed that you've been so depressed and withdrawn lately.” Focus on the qualities of the person you value and admire, and see when or how these qualities become less became prominent in the relationship.
3. Rely on family and friends for perspective and advice. Sometimes it can be difficult to gain perspective on your relationship, especially when you are so emotionally involved. Talk to friends and family you trust and who know you and your partner well. Discuss some of the problems you have and ask if they have experienced similar issues or problems. They may be able to suggest a particular tactic you can try to revive your relationship.
   • Just keep in mind that too many outside voices and opinions can eventually disrupt your relationship and lead to assumptions or prejudices between you and your partner. Listen to the advice of others, but take it with a grain of salt. Remember that you should be focused on open communication with you partner, instead of with others around you, to keep your relationship from falling apart.

Part 2 of 3: Improve your communication

1. Stay calm and respectful when communicating with your partner. It can be difficult to maintain a level of respect and emotional control when discussing issues or problems in your relationship with your partner.
   • Approach the conversation with care and respect for the other person to show that you want to try to make the relationship work. Avoid swearing or raising your voice at your partner when discussing the relationship issues. Instead, try to be honest and clear about your feelings in a caring and loving way.
   • Before entering into conversation with your partner, use a calming technique to initiate the calming response on your body. Deep breathing, meditation, or even exercising before the conversation can help you stay sober during a difficult conversation.
2. Be honest and specific about your feelings. To improve your communication with your partner, it is important that you try to avoid possible misunderstandings or miscommunication. One way to do this is to be specific, clear, and direct to your partner about your feelings and desires. If you think your partner is neglecting your relationship, be honest and clear about how and why this is bothering you.
   • This could be a simple comment: "I think we've seen so little of each other lately and I miss being with you, just the two of us." You can then propose to go out for dinner together or make it a romantic evening, just the two of you. Your intentions are clear to your partner and you can rest assured that you are trying to communicate with your partner.
   • In addition, during a disagreement, try to focus on what you are angry or upset about, rather than trying to discuss all of your issues at once. If you feel like you aren't spending enough time together, focus the discussion on how to see each other more often and set aside time for each other. If the disagreement is about household chores, such as taking out the trash, focus the discussion on the suggestion that both of you consider why it is important to take out the trash.
   • Avoid having the discussion about the trash about how much your partner is not focused on household chores or how lazy your partner is, or negligent. Deal with one issue at a time so it doesn't get too much for both of you and the disagreement escalates into a shouting match.
3. Practice active listening. Active listening means listening and responding to someone in a way that enhances mutual understanding. Rather than seeing conversations with your partner as competitions or fights to win, think of the conversations as learning opportunities and ways to better understand your partner. This allows you to view conversations with your partner as a way to listen to them attentively, rather than speaking to them or ignoring what they have to say.
   • To practice active listening, focus your attention on your partner and let them speak without interruption. You then have to repeat what your partner has said, but in your own words. You don't have to agree with what your partner has said, but you do show that you understand the other person and are willing to discuss their points in a healthy exchange of feelings and thoughts, rather than in a shouting match. .
4. Be willing to acknowledge your partner's point of view. Active listening to your partner is only part of effective communication. The other half is validating your partner's point of view, providing feedback on their feelings, and discussing possible ways to resolve the conflict. This can be an open discussion in which you both talk about how you can adjust habits or schedules to accommodate each other, whether this could be a solution to the conflict and which one to discuss next with your partner. The important thing is to show that you respect your partner's point of view and are willing to work together and come up with possible solutions to the problem.
   • For example: Your partner may find it annoying that you work long hours and come home late at night. Once your partner has finished, you can respond by saying, "What I understand you prefer is that I come home earlier at night and don't work such long hours so we can spend more time together. I also want us to spend more time together. "Spending time together. I have to work long hours because of the deadline coming up, but I'd like to take you out for dinner this weekend so we can spend the night together." This response shows that you have listened to what your partner had to say and come up with a way to resolve the conflict. You take responsibility for your actions and show sympathy for your partner's perspective.
5. Seek therapy or counseling when needed. Sometimes it is necessary to see a therapist or counselor to unravel some of the emotions and feelings that threaten to end your relationship. Find a relationship counselor or counselor who you can trust and with whom it is not a problem for you to be honest. Often times, the act of going into therapy together can be the first step in showing that you are committed to saving the relationship.
   • In addition, you may consider seeking counseling yourself if you are dealing with personal issues that may affect your relationship. Treating your own problems can help release any anger, fear, or stress that you bring into your relationship with your partner.

Part 3 of 3: Spending time together

1. Come up with fun trips together. One of the main reasons couples have problems is that one partner feels that the other partner is not putting enough time and energy into the relationship. Make time for your partner and make sure that the other person takes time for you, too, by sitting down and thinking up outings and activities for you to do together. Focus on creating quality time, where both of you have an opportunity to interact and to talk, laugh, and collaborate in a fun way.
   • This could be something as simple as a special night out in a nice restaurant or a joint walk to your favorite outdoor spot. Try to include activities that you both enjoy doing and be willing to try new or different things together. This ensures that the time you spend together is exciting and engaging for both of you.
2. Make it a habit to go out a night together every week. If you are both very busy with your own careers and agendas, you can choose one day each week for an official night out. This means that regardless of job requirements or work duties, both of you do something together that night, just the two of you. A date night set will make it easier to plan outings and activities, and it will give you a clear idea of ​​when you'll have the chance to spend time together.
   • Once you agree on the outing night, make sure you don't skip or miss that night. Adhering to that time means that you are willing to set aside other possible activities for your partner, and continue with the agreed time for the two of you together.
3. Surprise your partner with a unique date. If you'd like to get your partner more involved in your relationship and renew your commitment to each other, plan a surprise date in a unique setting.
   • This could be a laser tag, bowling, or something more extreme, like a river boat ride or a sled dog ride in the mountains. Think of a date that will combine something your partner loves with something he / she doesn't expect or will be a pleasant surprise.