Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Think about what to say and how
• Method 2 of 3: Have the conversation
• Method 3 of 3: Get their support during treatment

Talking to your parents about your depression can be a big burden on your shoulders. You may be concerned that they are not taking you seriously, or you may be afraid of being stigmatized. But you can spread the news to your parents by following a few important steps. First, prepare thoroughly for the conversation by being knowledgeable about depression and your symptoms. Then talk to your mother and / or father in person. Finally, let your parents know how they can support you in treating your depression.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Think about what to say and how

1. Recognize the symptoms of depression. Before you start telling your parents about your depression, make sure this is what you are going through. Use credible resources such as the National Institute on Mental Health to learn more about depression.
   • Depression among adolescents and teens can manifest in different ways. You can be indecisive, tired, angry, or overly sad. You can also have a hard time with school - lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating and remembering things.
   • You may have recently withdrawn from your friends and family and chose to spend more time alone. You may also have trouble sleeping or sleep too much. You may also try to numb your feelings with drugs and / or alcohol, or engage in other risky activities.
   • Even if you are not sure if what you are experiencing is depression, it is better to talk to someone about your symptoms so that you can get help.
2. Realize that this will be a difficult conversation. Telling your parents about your depression can be very emotional. You may cry, or your parents may cry. That's totally okay. Depression is a difficult topic and you are doing the right thing by tackling it now before it gets worse.
   • Chances are that your parent (s) have already noticed that something is wrong. They just don't know what it is or how to help you. By identifying the problem, you will help them feel better by taking action.
3. Ask someone you trust for advice. You may be concerned about your parent's reaction to your psychological symptoms. If so, you can ask a school mentor, teacher, or coach for advice. This can make it easier for you to talk about your depression.
   • You could say, "Mrs. Andersen, I think I might be depressed. I don't know how to tell my parents. "
   • This trusted person can call your parents for an appointment so you can bring them the news in a safe and trusted environment.
4. Decide who you want to tell first. Ask yourself whether you are going to talk to one parent first or to both of your parents right away. Chances are you feel closer to one of your parents, think a parent will respond better to you, or even feel that a parent is part of the problem.
   • If so, talk to the parent you feel most comfortable with first. That parent can then help you share the news with the other parent.
5. Write a letter if you find it difficult to put things into words. Sometimes it is really difficult to express your feelings. You may feel better sharing the news with your parents in an indirect way, such as by writing a letter or sending a text message.
   • Make sure to keep a serious tone so your parents know this is a real problem. Describe some of your symptoms, explain how they have affected your life, and that you would like to discuss your symptoms with a doctor.
6. Practice what you want to say. A tough topic such as depression may be difficult to discuss without preparation. Practice the conversation out loud in front of a mirror or in role-play with a close friend. This allows you to feel more comfortable during the conversation.
   • Write down a few talking points that you want to discuss and keep them with you during the conversation. In this way you can handle everything, if you are overcome by emotions.
7. Anticipate their questions. Be prepared to explain depression and describe your feelings and symptoms. From the knowledge gained through your research you can also share your insights about how your parents can help you with them. Your parents will likely have many questions. You can think in advance about possible answers, or indicate that you would prefer to go deeper into the matter with a professional therapist. Here are some examples of questions your parents can ask:
   • Are you going to hurt yourself or are you thinking about suicide?
   • How long have you been feeling this way?
   • Has anything happened that makes you feel that way now?
   • How can we help you feel better?
   • You can expect your parents to have more questions after they have been able to think about what you have said. You may have to talk to them about your depression several times before they fully understand it - but these follow-up conversations are easier than the first time.

Method 2 of 3: Have the conversation

1. Choose a good time to have the conversation. Pick a time when neither you nor your parents are distracted. It should be a quiet time when you start talking to one or both of your parents. Long drives, quiet evenings, chores together and long walks are all good opportunities to start on the topic.
   • When your parent (s) are busy, ask when it suits them. Say something like, "I have something important to discuss with you. When do you have time to talk a little longer? "
2. Let them know this is serious. Sometimes parents make the mistake of not taking their children seriously when it comes to depression. You can get their full attention by letting them know right from the start that this is a serious matter.
   • You can convey the seriousness of the matter by saying, "I have a really big problem and need help," or "This is hard for me to talk about. I need your attention. "
   • In some cases, the opportunity to talk - and the seriousness of the issue - may come naturally. Maybe you start crying right away and just throw all your feelings out, or you are very frustrated with school and your parents ask if something is wrong.
3. Explain your feelings in the "I" form. The "I" form helps you convey your feelings without making your parents feel attacked or reserved. For example, you could say, "You argue all the time and that makes me sad," but this can make your parents feel like they need to defend themselves, making them less likely to listen to you. Instead, make sure it's about you and your feelings.
   • "I" statements can sound like, "I feel really exhausted and depressed. It's hard to get out of bed, "or" I know I've been cranky lately. I am very angry with myself and sometimes hate myself. I keep thinking I'd rather die. "
4. Name your feelings. Now that they know how it affects you, give it the name it has. Talk to them about what you learned about it, and possibly show them the articles you found helpful. Show them wikiHow articles such as Coping With Depression and Knowing If You Have Depression If It Helped You.
   • For example, say, "I have found a number of articles on depression. It sounds a lot like what I'm going through, and I think this is what I have. "
   • Stand firm if they discount what you feel with "the blues" or "a little down feeling". Tell them you meet the clinical criteria for depression.
5. Ask for an appointment with your doctor. Don't think that your parents just know what to do with depression as a topic. Make it clear that you are concerned about your condition and that you need help.
   • You could say, "I think I should make an appointment with my doctor for an examination."
   • A doctor can help you find out if you have depression. An appointment with the doctor is usually also the first step to treatment, or referral to a therapist who can treat you.
   • You can also ask your parents if there is a family history of depression or other mental health problems. This way you can find out if the problem has a genetic component.
6. Don't panic if your parent (s) react negatively. There is a chance that your parents will not respond to the news as you would like. They may respond with disbelief, angry, or fearful, or say it is your fault. Keep in mind that while you have been struggling with the depression for a while, now they are hearing it for the first time. Give them some time to digest the news and find out how it really makes them feel.
   • If it confuses them, say something like "It took me a long time to understand my depression, too." Don't forget this is not your fault. You did the right thing, and this is the best way for them to find out.
   • If your parents don't take you seriously, try to persuade them (or another adult) until they take action. Depression is serious whether your parents believe you or not.

Method 3 of 3: Get their support during treatment

1. Share your feelings with them. Opening up about your depression can be challenging, but you may feel better trying to share your feelings with your parents. Take the courage to talk to your parents about what it's like to have depression, especially when you're feeling particularly depressed.
   • Don't feel guilty about your depression or try to protect your parents from worry and stress by not talking about it.
   • Talking to them doesn't mean you expect them to "make you better." It gives you an outlet for your emotions and helps you feel less alone.
   • Your parents would rather know when something is wrong so they don't feel in the dark about what's going on. Be honest about your feelings. In this way they can start helping you.
2. Make a list of actions your parents can take to help you. You can help your parents by passing on useful information to reduce your symptoms of depression. You can ease depression by taking your prescription medications, getting a good night's sleep, eating balanced meals, and getting exercise. Tell your parents how they can help you with this.
   • List ways your parents can support your treatment. For example, they can take you for a walk outside in the evenings, arrange a family game night to relieve your stress, help you remember your medication, and get to bed on time so you are well rested.
3. Ask your parents to go to appointments with you if you wish. A great way to involve your parents in your treatment is to go to appointments together. That way, they stay informed about the treatment and can ask any questions they have. Going to the doctor and therapist together also helps you get through this difficult time.
   • You could say, "I would really appreciate you coming to my next appointment."
4. Find out if they want to join a support group. Your therapist may have recommended that you join a local support group of other teens and young adults who are experiencing depression. These groups are great for you because they help you bond with others who are going through a similar situation. However, it can also help your parents to attend such groups.
   • In these groups, your parents can learn more about supporting the treatment of your depression. In addition, they can also connect with other parents and family members who want to support their child's treatment.
   • The GGZ and MIND Korrelatie may be able to help you find support groups and families. Call the GGZ in your area or MIND for more information.
5. Ask your therapist for help. If you've found a therapist but are having trouble seeking support from your parents, ask your therapist to help. The therapist may offer to make an appointment with your parents for a personal discussion about the seriousness of your situation and other matters.
   • Sometimes parents are more likely to respond if your concern is confirmed by a therapist or an official diagnosis.