Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Explaining the death of a pet to your child
• Part 2 of 3: Reassure your child
• Part 3 of 3: Rethinking your pet
• Tips

The death of a pet is painful for everyone, but it can be particularly hard on children. It may be difficult for your child to understand what happened and your son or daughter may struggle with the feelings of the loss. There are several things you can do to help your child cope with the loss. For example, you would be wise to be honest with your child, listen to your child, reassure him or her, and help create a valuable memory of the creature.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Explaining the death of a pet to your child

1. Immediately tell your child that your pet has died. Sometimes people wait to deliver the bad news because the conversation can be difficult. When a pet has died, it's best to tell your child as soon as possible instead of putting it off. Your child may feel betrayed if you wait to deliver the bad news that your pet has passed away.
2. Be honest with your child, but leave out the details that might traumatize your child. It is important to be honest with your child and avoid words like “put to sleep” and “died” as such expressions can be more confusing. Immediately tell your child that your pet has passed away and nothing more could be done.
   • Leave out the details that may traumatize your child. For example, don't tell your child what the poor creature died of.
3. Explain the term “euthanasia” if your child is old enough to understand it. Euthanasia may be difficult to understand for very young children (five years of age or younger). Older children may understand this concept, but you will likely have to answer some difficult questions afterward.
   • For example, your child may ask whether euthanasia is the same as killing an animal. Do your best to answer such questions as honestly as possible, but do not go into too much detail to avoid further upsetting your child.
4. Prepare yourself for your child's response. Your child's response will depend in part on his or her age and previous experiences with death. For example, a young child may be very sad only to be back to normal minutes later, while a teen may respond with anger and then storm out of the house.
   • Keep in mind that people react to death in different ways. Even if your child seems fine on their own, he or she can still go through a wide variety of emotions.

Part 2 of 3: Reassure your child

1. Listen to your child when he or she needs to talk about the situation. Make sure your child knows you are willing to listen if he or she wants to talk to you. Your child may want to talk about it right away, after a few days or not at all. If your child indicates that he or she wants to talk about the situation, you should focus your full attention on it.
   • Allow your child to express his or her feelings while you listen.
   • Provide a shoulder to cry on if your child starts to cry.
   • Reassure your child that these emotions are difficult at the moment, but that he or she will feel better over time.
   • After you finish the conversation, you could give your child a big hug.
2. Reassure your child. Your child may be experiencing feelings of guilt or worry about the death of a pet. Some children may feel that they are responsible for the death of the pet, feel that they have not properly cared for the animal, or believe that the pet could have been saved. Make sure to reassure your child and eliminate any source of guilt.
   • For example, if your child is concerned about whether more could have been done to save the pet, you should reassure your child that the vet has tried everything to save the animal's life.
3. Answer your child's questions as best you can. Your child will likely have many questions about the death of the pet, especially if this is the first time your son or daughter has encountered death. Do your best to answer these questions, but keep in mind that it is also fine to answer some difficult questions with “I don't know”.
   • For example, if your child is asking questions about the life of animals after death, you may want to use your spiritual background to answer the question or simply answer the question with "I don't know exactly." You can explain what some people believe in, and if you're not sure, you could say this too. You could then show your child an image showing a situation that you hope your pet is going through right now. This could be an image with an unlimited amount of bones that the animal can enjoy without getting a stomach ache, and nice soft grass to the horizon and sunshine.
   • You need to answer some questions in a clear and straightforward way. For example, if your child asks if the pet was in pain during the death, you should be honest about this, but especially focus on reassuring your child. You could say something like, "Fido was in a lot of pain and therefore had to go to the vet, but the vet gave him medicine for the pain before he died."
4. Encourage your child to stick to his or her regular routine. Your child may be tempted to skip soccer practice or a boyfriend's or girlfriend's birthday party because he or she is sad, but it's better to keep your child active and engaged. If your child seems to be isolating from boyfriends and girlfriends and no longer wants to participate in certain activities, this could be harmful to the child in the long run.
5. Control your own emotions around your child. Keep in mind that it is okay to cry in front of your child, but make sure to keep your emotions under control. For example, don't sob in front of your child. This could make your child anxious and it can even seem overwhelming. Make sure to excuse yourself if you can't seem to control your emotions.
6. Be on the lookout for signs that your child is struggling with grief. In some situations, children may struggle to let go of a beloved pet. Counseling may be the best option in such situations. You can talk to a counselor at your child's school to make an appointment or look for a therapist who has experience working with children. These are some examples of signs that your child is struggling with grief:
   • Constant feelings of sadness
   • Persistent sadness (more than a month)
   • Difficulties in school
   • Problems sleeping or other physical complaints as a result of the death of your pet

Part 3 of 3: Rethinking your pet

1. Have a special ceremony for burying your pet or scattering the ashes. The process of burying or scattering the pet's ashes can be a great way to help your child say goodbye and come to terms with the grief. Organize a special ceremony to pay the last respects to your pet. You could even ask your child to help organize the ceremony if you suspect your son or daughter would like to do so.
2. Allow your child to express his or her feelings in a drawing or letter. Your child may benefit from drawing a picture of the deceased pet or writing a letter to the pet describing his or her feelings. Ask your child if he or she is interested in one of the two ideas and provide your son or daughter with the necessary support.
   • You can guide your child through the process by sitting nearby and offering help if he or she asks for advice for the drawing or letter.
   • After your child has made the drawing or written the letter, you could ask him or her to give it a special place. This can be at the grave of the animal or at the place where the pet used to sleep.
3. Plant a special tree or plant in memory of your pet. Your child may also like the idea of ​​planting a special tree or plant in the backyard in memory of your pet. Ask your child to help select a suitable tree or plant. Then choose a suitable location and plant the tree or plant in memory of your pet.
4. Clear a space in this house that acts as a memorial for your pet. Creating a memorial in your home can also be a great way for your child to remember your beloved pet. Try to make a special spot for a favorite photo of the pet. You can put the photo on the mantelpiece or a side table, for example. Place the photo in a nice frame and put it in a special place. Invite your child to light a candle with you next to the frame to keep the memory of your pet alive.
5. Create a scrapbook of your child's favorite memories. Ask your child to help you create a scrapbook containing your favorite memories of the creature. Choose some beautiful photos that have special meaning for your child and paste them into the scrapbook. Let your child keep the scrapbook in his or her bedroom, so that your son or daughter can always flip through the scrapbook to reminisce about your beloved pet.

Tips

• Keep in mind that your child may seem to feel better after a few weeks or even days, but the grieving process is still ongoing. It may take months for your son or daughter to regain some sort of old age.