Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Remove him or her from your life
• Method 2 of 4: Get over the pain
• Method 3 of 4: Continue
• Method 4 of 4: Take care of yourself
• Tips
• Warnings

Leaving a relationship behind is never easy, especially if you still love someone. Still, if you take the time, are patient, and apply some sensible strategies, you will eventually be able to move on with your life and become happy again. Get started by removing him or her from your life. To do this, break any form of contact and get rid of all the memories you have. Then you can start working on getting over the pain and moving on.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Remove him or her from your life

1. Cut off all forms of contact. It's hard to forget someone if you're still talking to them or if you keep following each other on social media. Therefore unfriend your ex on all platforms. Tell him or her that while you may be able to stay friends in the future, you need a long break now and don't want to be in touch.
   • For example, you could say, "As far as I am concerned, we may be able to remain friends in the future, but right now I am having a hard time with it. That is why I really have to take a step back. "
   • If you can't avoid the other, try to be nice but don't let the relationship become friendly. For example, just say hello if you meet him or her in the hallway, or politely make arrangements if you have children together. Just make sure it stays that way and don't go any further.
2. Forget the possibility that you could get him or her back. Don't keep hoping that you might ever get back together or you'll just end up fantasizing about your ex in vain. Instead, do your best to leave the relationship behind. Remind yourself when it is necessary that it is over.
   • Tell yourself, "We are breaking up for a reason, and I deserve to move on with someone else."
3. Write him or her a letter that you are not going to send. Get all your feelings out on paper. Tell your ex how much he or she hurt you. Describe both the good and the bad memories, and use this moment to write off some of your feelings. The letter is for you; you don't have to send it.
4. Delete all email, text messages, apps and voice messages you've ever received from him or her. If you've saved your ex's text or voice messages, chances are you'll start reading or listening to them again and stuck in the past. Go through your accounts and inboxes and delete all messages so you won't be tempted.
   • If you think you would like the memories later, save them to an external hard drive and give them to a close friend. This way you can always reminisce later if you wish.
   EXPERT TIP

   Delete or delete all photos of your ex. Remove all of his or her photos from the wall and remove them from your photo albums. Delete all photos from your computer and phone, and make sure you don't have any photos of him or her on your Facebook or Instagram profile or on other social media. You don't need all those memories around you for anything.

   • Again, if you don't want to lose your photos forever, keep them on an external hard drive and pass them along with any printed or framed photos you might want to keep to a friend and ask them to take them for you for so long. can save.
5. As a kind of ceremony, burn all possible memories you still have of him or her. Sometimes to get over someone you just literally have to clear your mind for a moment. A good way to do that is to collect all the things you have around the house that remind you of him or her. Put them in a metal trash can and set them on fire. You can do this with, for example, old letters, photos or clothes.
   • Keep your ritual out in a windless place. Keep a bucket of water or a fire extinguisher handy for safety.

Method 2 of 4: Get over the pain

1. Remind yourself why it didn't work between you. If you have a hard time getting over someone, it's probably because you only think about the good times, not the less pleasant things. Take a moment to consider why you broke up again so that you don't keep kidding yourself.
   • Try to write about it. Keep a journal about the painful memories you have, keeping the goal in mind that you want to get over that pain so that you can move on with your life.
   • Your relationship broke up because something happened, or because it wasn't going well. If you then put that relationship on a pedestal as if it were perfect, it becomes very difficult to end it.
2. Forgive the other so that you can let go of your anger. One way to forgive him or her is to also remember his or her good sides. Think about why you liked him or her in the beginning so that you can remember your ex as a person who is human and makes mistakes. Only if you imagine him or her as a person and as someone with both good and bad qualities, will you be able to forgive your ex for his or her mistakes.
   • Another way to learn to forgive is to think about how you feel about what he or she has done to you. Think about how those feelings affect your life. For example, if you feel angry or bitter, ask yourself how it shapes your view of the world.
   • Of course, some "mistakes" are worse than others. When it comes to serious problems, such as physical or mental abuse, it is much more difficult to forgive your ex. Just remember that by forgiving you mainly help yourself; just because you forgive someone doesn't mean he or she is innocent.
   • Forgiveness is about letting go of the bitterness you feel towards the other person. It's hard to let go of any negative feelings you have for someone if you're not willing to forgive them. You don't have to forget about the pain, but you are supposed to stop storing anger toward that person in your heart.
3. Phrase the end of your relationship as "nobody's fault," instead of trying to pinpoint a culprit. You may be blaming yourself for the fact that it is out, or you may find it necessary to blame the other person. The fact is, you guys just didn't turn out to be made for each other, and no one should be to blame for that.
   • If you were in a reasonably good relationship, try to remember that both of you did your best to make the relationship work, and try as hard as you can to stop trying to pinpoint a culprit.
4. Instead of constantly thinking that certain things shouldn't have happened, try to change your reaction to the past. Sometimes you wish you could go back in time to change what happened. That's a pretty natural response, but when it comes down to it, it's useless. The only thing you can change is your reaction to the past. Instead of wishing you hadn't said or done something, accept that fact.
   • Think about a specific moment that is bothering you. You may think, "I wish I could take back what I said then." For example, phrase it like this: "I'm sorry I said that, but I learned from my mistake." From now on I will do better. "
5. If you are struggling, make an appointment with a therapist. You may feel a little embarrassed by the idea of ​​going into therapy, but remember that there are millions of people like you who turn to therapists, psychologists, consultants, or other professionals for advice and guidance when they are struggling, and you can do that too. There really is no reason why you shouldn't ask for help.
   • People you could talk to include professional therapists, a psychologist or psychiatrist, a mentor at school or someone at work, and, if you prefer, people who have authority in your community, such as a priest or a rabbi . Just try to find someone you trust who has some professional knowledge and experience.
   • If you don't know exactly who to talk to, ask your friends or family if they can recommend someone.

Method 3 of 4: Continue

1. Teach yourself how to be independent again. During this period, do not forget that you are a complete person on your own. You don't need anyone else to be complete as a person, so use this period to rediscover yourself without the other.
   • List all the things you can do now that you're out of a relationship. For example, maybe now you can spend more time with your friends and family, travel alone, move to another city, or stay up as long as you like. This list can help remind you how much fun it can be to be independent.
2. Remind yourself of your strengths. When your relationship with someone ends, you can feel vulnerable and think you don't have the strength to get over the pain. But you are strong enough for it, you just need to remind yourself now and then. So take a moment to review some of your strengths and achievements in the past to show yourself that you can and will get through this period.
   • For example, you could write: "I have an awful lot of perseverance. It only took me a year from when I started running to run a full marathon! And if I have persistence, then I can get through this too. "
3. Make some new friends outside of your current circle of friends. If you've been in a relationship for quite a long time, you and your ex may have a lot of mutual friends. Try to make new friends who don't talk about your ex all the time or want to do things with both of you. That way you will be able to move on with your life more easily.
   • You don't have to cut off contact with your former friends completely, but building a few new circles of friends will give you a safe space in which to build your own social life. You can also fall back on friends who are not friends with your ex. Try to revive an old friendship that you may have watered down a bit.
   • To make new friends, attend meetings or activities in your area, take courses at a community center or library, or register for sporting, cultural, or recreational events in public parks, or start a conversation with someone at a café.
4. When you're ready, start dating again. Give yourself some time to grieve, but once you start to feel a little better, go out with someone else. You really don't have to commit to a relationship right away. Just go out with someone you like a few times, or just try a few first dates with a number of different people.
   • When you start dating again, give yourself all the time you need. You don't have to rush for anything. In fact, it can be really smart to say that to your date. For example, you could say, "Hey, I want you to know that I just got out of a troubled relationship, so I'm not really looking for anything really serious at this point."

Method 4 of 4: Take care of yourself

1. Literally throw your feelings into laughing and crying. Sometimes you just feel the pain again, and you may feel like crying. And that is allowed! Take some time to cry. But don't forget to laugh too. Watch some funny movies on the internet, or the latest hilarious memes, or watch your favorite comedy again. Laughter is good for your soul, and it can make you feel even better or more relieved than after a big cry.
   • Go out with your friends and have a lot of fun together!
2. Eat healthy every day. When you're in mourning, you may not feel like eating at all or just want junk food. As a result, you will often feel even worse, for example if you end up in a dip after a sugar rush. Therefore, make sure you get at least some fruit, vegetables and lean proteins every day.
   • Of course you can also eat that chocolate cake or that bag of chips, especially on one of the first days after it has gone out. But don't try to only but chips pie to eat. Do your best to eat some healthy foods as well.
3. Try to get some exercise, preferably in the open air. Take a walk in the woods or go for a walk with a friend. Go for a swim if you have a pool nearby, or see if you can go canoeing somewhere. Play tennis, jog in the park, or register at the gym. Yoga is also a good option. Whatever you do, it will help clear your mind and it will make you feel better.
   • Try to exercise for at least half an hour a day most days of the week.
   • Exercise is good for your brain because it causes your body to produce substances that make you feel euphoric. And if you exercise outside, you also get some vitamin D as a bonus! Moreover, it is good for your body and gives you a reason to go out.
4. Reserve enough time to sleep. Sleep is one of the ways your body has to recover, and so is emotional pain. If you can't sleep well, try to take some extra time to fall asleep, and try to get at least eight hours of sleep each night.
   • Try to get used to an evening ritual. At least an hour before going to sleep, turn off your phone, computer, and any other devices to allow your brain to relax. Drink a cup of warm milk or herbal tea, or take a warm bath to unwind.
   • You may also have the opposite problem and want to sleep all the time. Some extra sleep is not a bad idea in itself (nine to ten hours a night), but don't overdo it. Force yourself to get up and step out into the world.
5. Seek support from your family and friends. The people who love you, your family members, friends and fellow students or colleagues, want you to be happy. Don't be afraid to ask these people for some extra love. Talk to a close friend or one of your siblings to better cope with the stress and feelings you're going through. Your ex really wasn't the only person who loved you; use this time to remind yourself and spend time with the people who really matter to you.
   • Even if you don't find the advice that those you have confided in to be ideal, the sense of camaraderie will often make you feel a lot better.
6. Get used to a regular rhythm again. A regular schedule will help you get into a rhythm, which will help you feel more normal again. Try to get up and go to sleep at the same time every day, eat at about the same times, and so on.
   • On the other hand, you don't have to be too hard on yourself either. You are going through a difficult time, and you can take a break now and then if you feel the need to. Just try to keep it up as best you can.
7. Treat yourself a little. Take a warm bubble bath or massage. Now is the perfect time to indulge yourself a little. Go to the cinema if there is a movie you want to see, go shopping for an afternoon, or go away for a weekend if necessary. It doesn't matter what, do something that will make you feel good.
   • You can even do something as simple as grab a coffee at your favorite cafe or curl up on the couch with a good book.
8. Try a new hobby to break your old habits. For example, learn a new language or take a cooking course. Borrow some books from the library to learn a hobby you've always wanted to try, or watch some videos on the Internet. But you can also take a fun course in a community center, in a topic that interests you.
   • Going out on your own and spending your free time in a new way will give you a sense of freedom and independence. In addition, it can be a sparkling source of inspiration and creativity.

Tips

• If a friend asks about him or her, say politely Sorry but I'd rather not talk about it. Hopefully the other person will understand and will not bring it up again.
• Try to focus on other activities, or think about your friends, family, and other people you love.

Warnings

• Do not resort to harmful behaviors such as drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling, or physically harming yourself. Also, don't get obsessively about work. Ultimately, those things do more harm than good.