Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Respond tactfully and with consideration
• Method 2 of 4: Act immediately
• Method 3 of 4: Be unambiguous
• Method 4 of 4: Respond credibly

If someone asks you out or shows interest in you that you don't like that way, it can be difficult and stressful dealing with the situation. Whether that person is a friend or not, you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. At the same time, you want to be very clear that you are not interested. Rejection is never easy, but you can manage the situation the best you can by showing compassion while still responding unambiguously.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Respond tactfully and with consideration

1. State that you are flattered but not interested. Whether you are interested in the person or not, being asked out is always a compliment. That person thinks it's worth risking possible rejection and embarrassment, and while they could have chosen literally anyone in the world to be interested in, they chose you. It takes a lot of courage to make yourself so vulnerable.
   • Smile and thank the other. Express gratitude that the other person feels that way about you, make it clear that you appreciate it but aren't interested.
   • Try saying something as simple as, "Thanks, I'm very flattered that you asked me out, but I'm not interested in you that way."
   EXPERT TIP

   Pause before you say "no". If someone attacks you with it, at least wait a while before rejecting the other. This shows that you have actually considered the other person's question - even if you haven't. Saying "no" without a trace of hesitation can certainly hurt a person's feelings.

2. Say as little as possible. When it comes to rejecting someone, less is usually more. Prolonged rejections and verbose statements can lead to discussion and misinterpretation. You don't have to elaborate long, so keep your rejection short and sweet.
   • The more you say, the less sincere it comes across to the other person, and the more it prolongs an already awkward conversation.
3. Lie professionally. If you are going to make up an excuse, at least make sure you use something that is credible and has no gaps. For example, `` I just got a promotion and I want to focus on my job '' or `` I want to prioritize my friendships '' is much stronger than `` I'm really busy this week '' or someone to go out. '
4. Use "I" statements. Instead of explaining why you don't want the other, try to focus on yourself instead. Simple comments like, "I don't see you that way, I'm sorry" and "I really like you as a person, but I don't feel a connection between us," are easier to digest than "You're not my type."
5. End the conversation gracefully. You may both feel awkward and awkward at this point, but try to end the conversation in a positive or light manner.
   • If it seems appropriate, try to use a little humor. At the very least, offer a genuine smile and apologize.
   • Get out of the way quickly. Continuing the conversation or hanging out after you've let the other person down can be confusing and unpleasant for the other person.
   • You may want to keep the conversation going in an effort to try to act normal and make the other person feel better about the rejection, but it is best to end the meeting as soon as possible.
6. Keep things private. There is no reason to discuss the matter with colleagues or friends. Treat the other person's feelings with respect. Getting rejected is hard enough without the added problem of being ashamed of other people.

Method 2 of 4: Act immediately

1. Deal with the matter. Rejecting someone is usually very difficult for both parties and it can be tempting to ignore the situation completely. If you act like nothing happened, it will magically go away, right? Unfortunately, ignoring and hoping that the other person will eventually "get the hint" is not only cruel, but also a bad strategy that often backfires.
2. Give the other person a clear answer as soon as possible. Do not wait for "the right time", because there is usually no "right time". The longer you wait, the more difficult and inconvenient the rejection will be for both of you.
   • It can make it difficult for the other person to get away from you if he or she doesn't get a clear "no" from you, so the kindest thing you can do is give him or her that. It may hurt a bit at first, but in the long run, you'll both be happier about it.
3. Avoid ghosting. Ghosting is a relatively new term to describe an age-old way of rejecting someone - by disappearing completely after a first or several encounters. Instead of confronting, the initiator withdraws permanently without any explanation. Completely disappearing without ever addressing the problem is doing exactly what you're trying to avoid - hurting the other person's feelings.
   • In a 2012 study, researchers identified seven breakup strategies and then asked people to rank them from most ideal to least ideal. "Ghosting" was overwhelmingly stated as the least ideal way to break up with someone.
4. Respond to strangers and acquaintances with a text message. Unless you've known this person for a long time or have been dating them for several months, it's not only acceptable, it's better to kindly reject them via text message.
   • The blow of a rejection is softened by the neutrality of a text message and allows the person to take care of their own momentarily bruised ego in private. There is no need to make personal contact with someone you don't know well when it comes to a rejection.
   • In some cases, such as when it comes to being contacted online or by someone you work with who you rarely see and hardly know, even an email will suffice as a rejection.
5. Respond personally to friends and associates. Everyone you know personally or see every day, such as a friend or colleague, deserves a personal response. This will also make the inevitable future encounters much less awkward.
   • Handing the news in person allows the other person to see your facial expression / body language and hear the tone of your voice.

Method 3 of 4: Be unambiguous

1. Be steadfast and absolute. Avoid hesitation and indecision, which can confuse the other person. If you're clear the first time you turn down the other person, you probably won't need to have a conversation twice.
   • An unclear response can make the person feel like he or she has another chance, wasting his or her time and not being fair to him or her.
   • It also increases the likelihood that you will have to repeat this awkward conversation with the other person in the future.
2. Speak kindly and directly. Approach the other person with a smile and keep your posture as calm and relaxed as possible. Use positive body language, such as sitting or standing up straight and looking the other person directly in the eye to convey that you mean it.
   • Negative body language, such as slumping or not looking the other person in the eye, indicates a lack of confidence in your own words.
3. Do not offer false hope. If you're really not interested in dating this person, make that clear. Statements like "I'm too busy with my job right now" or "I've just gotten out of a long relationship" may seem like nice responses, but to the other person, it may be more like "Ask me again in a few weeks." Avoid making it sound like there's a possibility for a future date, especially when you know there isn't.
4. Continue. Do not stay in touch with someone you will never actually want to start something with. Sometimes it can feel good to be around someone you know really likes you, but unless you're serious about answering the sentiment, you're just feeding your own ego.
   • Do not contact again unless you are really interested. It can be tempting to reach out to someone you've rejected in the past, especially if you're going through a rough patch yourself.
   • Unless you're really interested in the person, there's no need to call, text, or even be Facebook friends with them.
   • The infamous drunk phone call (or text message) is a common way people end up contacting again. A momentary error of judgment can cause a lot of confusion and despair for someone else. In this way you also maneuver yourself into the position of having to reject the other all over again.
5. Don't become friends - unless you really mean it. Do you really want to be friends, or are you just trying to spare the other person's feelings by saying so? If the latter is the case, don't do this.
   • If you really want to stay friends, give the person some space after rejecting them. Give the other person a chance to let go of his or her bruised ego and shame.
   • The other person may feel unable to be friends because of their romantic feelings for you. If so, you have to respect that.

Method 4 of 4: Respond credibly

1. Know that it is okay to say no. No one likes to hurt another person, but rejecting someone else doesn't make you mean or a bad person just yet. It's completely normal and it's okay for you to say no. If you're not attracted to someone that way, there's nothing you can do about it. Saying anything other than "no" is disrespectful to both of you.
2. Stop feeling guilty. You are under no obligation to please everyone and you should never agree to date someone because you feel guilty. Respect your own feelings about the situation and don't hesitate.
   • Openly confessing guilt can confuse the other person. If you give the other person an honest answer, no apologies are necessary.
3. Trust your gut. You may not even be sure why you are rejecting the person, but just feel bad about it. Trust that feeling. If something feels weird or strange, it probably is.
4. Don't apologize. It's okay to say "no" and you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You may even be sincerely sorry, but expressing that out loud translates as pity and that you would have done something wrong in some way by rejecting the other person.