Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Learning new thinking patterns
• Method 2 of 4: Understand your mind
• Method 3 of 4: Acquire Dexterity
• Method 4 of 4: Stay positive
• Tips
• Warnings

Negative thoughts and feelings usually come up at inopportune times and divert our attention from the good things in life. Our thoughts often lean towards the negative side and it is difficult to break the habit of mulling away in gloomy emotions. But, as with all habits, you can change them by teaching yourself to think differently.

When we are stressed and we have a thousand things on our mind at the same time, the last thing we can use is troubled thoughts. That is why it is important to make time for relaxation, to put things into perspective and to let go.

Follow the steps below to learn how to calm a hectic mind.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Learning new thinking patterns

1. Live in the now. What do you usually think about when your thoughts run wild? Chances are it's a thing of the past, even if it happened just a week ago, or you're worried about something to come. The solution to getting rid of those thoughts is to become aware of the present. By concentrating on the here and now you literally push your thoughts out of the dark corners. This is because thoughts stop when you draw your attention to them and are suddenly subjected to a scrutiny. The feelings that cause this thought process are now being seen in a different light. It sounds so simple, but it's not always easy to do. Here are some ways you can become more aware of the here and now:
   • By looking at a calm picture, your mind settles and it lets go of everything itself, but that only happens when you stop trying and expect to relax. This is a good basic way to unwind and relax the mind.
2. Be concerned with the world around you. One of the drawbacks of getting stuck in negative memories or emotions is that you are forced to distance yourself from what is happening around you right now. If you consciously choose to come out of your shell and participate in the world around you, there is less room in your mind for the nitpicking that consumes your energy spiritually. In fact, criticizing yourself for these kinds of thoughts can make it worse. You may feel that you don't like someone and then feel guilty or angry about it. This process of cause and effect trains the mind to make it an ingrained habit and makes it more difficult to control in the future. These are steps to start opening up to what's going on around you:
   • Listen better during conversations. Take the time to really record what someone is telling you, instead of half listening while you think about other things. Ask questions, give advice and be a good conversation partner.
   • Sign up for volunteer work or connect with people around you in some other way. You meet new people and hear interesting and important things that put your own thoughts and feelings that you want to release into perspective.
   • Pay attention to your body. Pay attention to where you are now, literally. Focus on your immediate surroundings. Your reality is where you are now. You cannot go back to yesterday and it is also impossible to predict what will happen tomorrow. Keep your thoughts on your physical presence at this time.
   • Say something in your head or out loud. The physical act of making a sound brings your thoughts to the present. Say "This is it now," or "I'm here." Repeat these sentences until your thoughts are drawn to the now.
   • Go outside. By changing your immediate environment, you can help your thoughts return to the present by stimulating your senses to absorb more information. Observe how the world moves around you, how every living being lives in his or her own here and now. Keep an eye out for small things, such as a bird flying up or a leaf swirling down the sidewalk.
3. Be less self-aware. A negative self-image, in whatever form, is the cause of negative thoughts and feelings for many people. When you are self-aware, you are busy in your head and that distracts from what you are doing. For example, when you're talking to someone, think about what you look like and what impression you make, instead of focusing on the conversation. It is essential to take control of your self-awareness in order to let go of negative thoughts and feelings so that you can enjoy life to the fullest.
   • Practice living in the here and now by doing things that engross you and make you feel confident. For example, if you are good at baking, enjoy sifting the flour, mixing the dough, filling the cake pan, the scent of your creation in the kitchen and the first bite when it is ready.
   • If you are aware of the here and now, find out how it feels and how you achieved it so that you can repeat it as often as possible. The only thing that prevents you from feeling that freedom in other situations is your own mind. So ban self-criticism from your daily thinking process.

Method 2 of 4: Understand your mind

1. See how you relate to a particular thought or emotion. Thoughts usually go on autopilot and so resurface when you are not consciously paying attention. Work on letting go of these thoughts. You must not only break the chain, but also prevent new thoughts.
2. Observe what's going on to understand how thoughts and emotions affect you. If you study thoughts, you will soon discover that there are two different things going on: a subject and a process. The process is thinking itself or expressing feelings.
   • The mind does not always need a subject to think about, sometimes thoughts ripple along in a seemingly illogical and wild stream of thoughts. The mind uses thoughts as a sedative or distraction when, for example, there is physical pain or in self-defense. If you think of the mind as a machine, you see that sometimes it tackles everything within reach as the subject of thoughts.
   • Thoughts about a particular topic are easier to understand. You may be angry, worried, or have a certain feeling about something and think about it. These thoughts often repeat themselves and focus on a particular theme.
   • To get to the heart of the problem, it is important to discourage or mislead the mind as to the subject and thought process or emotional feelings. It helps enormously to become aware that the subject and the feeling or thought process is not helping us at the moment. There are many feelings and thoughts that we do not want to let go of or that we experience as stressful because we want to explore the topics and problems that they are going to be about (such as when we are angry or anxious, etc. what, why, etc.)
   • This particular “wanting to think about” or just “wanting to think about” is stronger than our will to let go. Letting go is very difficult when overshadowed by a stronger will. If you don't pay attention consciously, you work against yourself. This happens when you think about it purely. This inner struggle is an extra distraction from what you are fleeing from. The mind is still in control, even though it doesn't seem like it. You have to go against the strong “wanting to think about it” in a gentle yet convincing way: “Okay, now is the time to let go and move on,” until the will to let go is ultimately stronger than the will to move on. to think about the topic.
   • Another problem is that we sometimes see feelings as part of our identity. We just don't want to recognize that that part of us can cause pain and distress, or make us unhappy. People have often learned that "all" feelings are valuable when they are about "me" or "mine". Some feelings cause stress, but others don't. The method is based on this: you have to observe the thought and the feeling long enough to decide whether it is worth keeping, or whether it is better to let it go without judging yourself.
3. Compare this theory with your own experiences. If you have thoughts on a particular topic you want to let go of, try one of the following experiments:
   • Try as hard as you can not to think of a polar bear, or (more unusually) a purple-spotted flamingo drinking a cup of coffee. This test comes from the old days, but it shows well how thoughts work. It takes effort not to think about polar bears, or when we have a thought that makes us unhappy, we resist it, both to suppress the thought and the thought itself. The struggle with the subject (like the polar bear) requires constant effort. If you keep trying not to think about it or if you keep resisting it, the bear won't go away.
   • Suppose you have a pen in your hand that you want to let go.
   • To release the pen, you need to hold it in your hand.
   • If the will to put the pen down, you have to "keep" holding it.
   • Logically, you cannot put the pen down if you keep holding it.
   • The more effort and intentions you put into “wanting” to put it down, the tighter you hold the pen.
4. Learn to let go by slackening your fighting spirit against feelings and thoughts. The same dynamic applies to the mind. As we try to suppress our thoughts, we cling to them more tightly to force them to go away. The more we try to force them, the more tension and pressure we create on the mind. It responds to this as if it were being attacked.
   • The solution is not to apply pressure, but to relax. Thoughts and feelings disappear just like a pen falls by itself from your hand when you loosen its grip. It may take some time. If you have applied pressure, it has been etched into your mind for a while, because it is so used to resisting that it has become almost an ingrained habit of thinking.
   • This is how our mind works: if you cling to thoughts and feelings to explore them, or if you try hard to get rid of them, they don't go away, they stick with you. To release them it is necessary to relax and take pressure off the kettle.

Method 3 of 4: Acquire Dexterity

1. Practice some skills you can use when the thought or emotion wells up. There are many things you can try or ask yourself when a thought or feeling keeps coming back. Try one of the following suggestions:
   • Have you ever read a book, seen a movie or done something else so often that you know everything about it and it is no longer interesting and even boring? If you do the same with a thought and lose interest in it, you are no longer attached to it and it is easier to let it go.
2. Don't flee from negative feelings. You have had enough of thoughts and feelings that just won't go away, but have you taken the time to actively address them? If you ignore thoughts and feelings instead of acknowledging them, they may never go away. Before you begin the process of letting go, let your feelings sink in deeply. If your mind wants to force your thinking patterns or emotions, it can use mindsets to take control of you. Remember that the mind is a master of manipulation and knows more tricks than you think. This happens when part of the mind craves things to which it is addicted. The mind wants to give free rein to these desires that hold us in their grip. We are all mainly driven by our addictions.
   • A useful mantra for addressing feelings and thoughts is to realize that you are responsible for your own happiness and that you should not let these thoughts and emotions put you under pressure. If you give the past or worries about the future and other tendencies control over your happiness, it will never turn in the positive direction.
   • Manipulate your thoughts. Play them upside down, turn them, turn them around, change them: in the end you find yourself running the show. Replacing bad thoughts with more comforting ones is only a temporary fix, but it works well in an emergency. You can let go a little more easily if you feel more relaxed.
   • If your haunted thoughts and feelings are related to a problem you need to solve, think about it and take action to address the situation, even if that means accepting force majeure.
   • If your thoughts and feelings are related to a sad event, such as a breakup or death in your family, allow yourself to feel the sadness. Look at a picture of the person you are missing and think about shared memories. Cry if that helps you in the process, it is completely acceptable to be human. Journaling your emotions in a journal can also help.

Method 4 of 4: Stay positive

1. Keep some tricks up your sleeve. When you are stressed, overworked, or just depressed, thoughts and feelings that you thought you were getting rid of tend to creep back. You need a few methods that you can fall back on when that happens. They help you get through difficult moments without certain thoughts and feelings taking control.
2. Practice visualization. When you are busy and have little time to relax, visualization can help. This is an example of an image you can take in your mind (you can also take your own memory of a beautiful or happy place):
   
   Imagine a beautiful, cozy and empty field with flowers and other scenic aspects. Take time to explore the clearing, open blue skies and clean air. Then imagine a city built on the field: buildings, towers, streets and traffic. Now let the city slowly disappear, until you see a nice empty field again. The field represents our mind, which is naturally empty and peaceful, but we are building a city of thoughts and feelings. Over time, we get used to the city and forget that there is still an empty field beneath it. When you release the buildings, the field (peace and tranquility) returns.
3. Think about what you have achieved. The world is full of little satisfaction, such as helping others, completing work tasks, achieving goals and seeing a beautiful landscape or a beautiful sunset or enjoying a delicious dinner with friends or family. Thinking about the beautiful things in life will grow your confidence and ensure that you enjoy more of these experiences in the future.
4. Take care of yourself. When you're not feeling well, it's hard to muster the strength and energy to stay optimistic. Keep your mind, body and soul healthy, so that negative thoughts and feelings have less of an impact on you.
   • Get plenty of sleep. When you don't get enough sleep, it is difficult to keep thinking positively. Sleep 7 to 8 hours every night.
   • Eat good. Have a balanced diet full of the nutrients your brain needs to stay healthy. Make sure you eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.
   • Exercise regularly. A good exercise program keeps stress at bay and also helps keep your body in shape. These two results greatly affect thoughts and feelings that preoccupy you.
   • Avoid alcohol and drugs. Alcohol causes depression, and an excess can cause your thoughts to get out of hand. The same is true for many types of drugs. Reduce the use of alcohol and drugs, if you normally use a lot, to improve your mental health.
   • Seek professional help if necessary. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. If you have trouble controlling your thoughts, don't try to keep things together on your own. Seek professional help (therapist, religious counselor, social worker, or psychiatrist) who can help you get back on the positive path.

Tips

• Remember, thoughts and emotions are just like the weather: they come and go. You are the sky and thoughts and emotions are the rain, the clouds, the snow, etc.
• The more you practice, the easier and faster it will go.
• It is better when you know how your mind works. You can do a simple exercise and observe your thoughts and feelings, including reactions. Imagine that you are a scientist studying a new species and it is your job to find out how it lives.
• It's easy to get attached to happy and joyful feelings, but they come and go. We cannot automatically adjust our minds to it, hoping to remain in that state of mind. But you can use those feelings as a starting point to develop and calm your mind.

Warnings

• When you try to destroy aspects of the mind, it turns to self-defense. When attacked, it protects what you're trying to destroy.
• Seek professional help if necessary. Don't be afraid to seek help.
• You can never fully protect your thoughts and feelings, because they are subject to change and respond to stimuli. Your mind and body are part of a living being and it is not in our power to mold it exactly as we would like it to be.