Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Be pleasant in conversation
• Method 2 of 4: Master Pleasant Body Language
• Method 3 of 4: Think about it
• Method 4 of 4: Develop Nice Habits
• Tips
• Warnings

While everyone has the right to be a person and to express themselves, there are basic ways that anyone who wants to improve their relationships with others can take advantage of them. A better impression and a great reputation can come in handy in networking, career development, and personal relationships.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Be pleasant in conversation

1. 1 Respectfully treat others and be polite to everyone you meet. This means: respect your friends, strangers, and most importantly, respect yourself! If you are judgmental or dismissive towards other people, they are more likely to return negative emotions to you. Friendliness and respect will help you find friends faster.
   • Communicate with strangers kindly and calmly, be patient when asking for services, answer directly and don't forget about “please” and “thank you”.
   • Remember that everyone you talk to is human too. Just because you pay someone to service your table doesn't give you the right to be rude; treat them the way you would like to be treated.
     • As J.K. Rowling, "It is easier to see the true essence of a person by his treatment of subordinates, and not with his peers."
2. 2 Be confident in yourself. People love being around people who are confident but not arrogant. An adequate level of confidence is knowing that you are a great person, but there is always someone better than you.
   • If you constantly criticize yourself and are unhappy with being who you are, you risk people thinking the same way about you. After all, if you don't like yourself, then why should others like you?
   • The flip side of the coin is just as bad - be overconfident, and others will think that you like you so much that you are not trying to please anyone else. The goal is a sense of satisfaction, not excessive pride.
3. 3 Be honest but do it carefully. It is especially important to be honest with your friends and the people who ask for your advice. Usually people can easily identify who is often lying and insincere; nobody likes insincere people. The people you want to communicate with must not tolerate liars.
   • If someone asks: "Does this make me fat?" (yes, this is a cliché, but this is a classic example), comment carefully, trying not to offend the person. If you know a lot about fashion, tell me why. You will be trusted knowing that you are honest and helpful.
   • There are some tricks to being honest with someone who isn't asking for your advice. Commenting in this way can generate a positive reaction or resentment, depending on the person, so analyze the situation. You will most likely want to avoid negative comments, no matter how truthful they are, with people you don't know well or don't be friends with.
4. 4 Listen. There is not a single person on this planet who has been given too much attention (at least, not a single person who is not pursued by the paparazzi). When we humans start a conversation, most of us want someone to be genuinely interested in what we are saying - the participation of the other person is not that important. Don't think you are boring! You are helping the other person feel good.
   • It's important to listen actively, though. If someone is talking and talking about the most effective way to wash their dog, looking away doesn't mean being a good listener. Try to participate fully in the conversation - with your eyes, nods, commenting and asking questions, your body position - you should be completely focused on it.
5. 5 Ask questions. Most of a good conversation (and when you are listening) consists of questions. A person leaves the master of communication after the conversation, feeling good and not understanding that he did not recognize anything to the person, because he was talking himself all the time. Be that master. Ask who, why, and how.The second person will feel appreciated and start going into details, which will take all the pressure off you. And he will like you.
   • Let everything have an open ending. If Yulia from the office says: "Damn, I sit for hours at this stupid Powerpoint", wedge yourself in the conversation! Ask her what she does, why it is taking her so long, or if she was looking for more information. Even common topics like Powerpoint can help start a good conversation in which Julia will be the center of attention.
6. 6 Call people by name. One of the rules of Dale Carnegie's successful book, How to Make Friends and Influence People, is to use the person's name in conversation. The sound of our name excites the part of the brain that sleeps with all other sounds, and we love it. Our names are our identities, and talking to someone who uses them makes us feel recognized. So the next time you talk to someone you know, discreetly insert their name. Chances are that he will feel a connection with you that was not there before.
   • This is easy to do. The most obvious way is to add a name to the greeting. "Hey Robert, how are you?" sounds more personal than "Hey, how are you?" And if you and Robert are close enough to say, “Hey, Robin-Bobbin! What's up man?" - that will work too. In addition to greetings, you can also paste the name almost anywhere. At the beginning of the conversation: "Do you think this will suit my desk, Robert?", Or just a comment: "Robert, you are very funny." Robert will feel like you are best friends.
7. 7 Know your audience. Chances are that you know people from different social groups. To please high school queens, you have to act very differently than with engineering students. So know who you are dealing with. What do they like? What do they value? What are they interested in?
   • If you want to genuinely like, (being popular and being liked by everyone is not the same thing), you're in luck: all people usually like the same qualities. Reliability, honesty, warmth and kindness, according to the latest polls, are valued the most (in all types of relationships), they are caught up in importance by openness, intelligence and a sense of humor.
8. 8 Watch for feedback. You can ask any questions you want, be very polite, say only the right things, and still people will not react to it. If every time you approach, Vanya urgently needs to answer a call, take a hint. Spend your resources on someone else. This is bound to happen - you cannot be liked by everyone. It is very important to try, but it is also very important to know where to put the effort.
   • In a relationship, you have to give and take. If you are always someone who makes an effort, tries to be pleasant and friendly, take a closer look at the situation. If there is an explanation for this (the second person is going through hard times now, works 60 hours a week, and so on), then you will have to be patient a little. But if they always have time for others, but not for you, leave. You cannot be friends with everyone.
9. 9 Know how to make you laugh. Everyone likes a person who can defuse the atmosphere and make you laugh. A good sense of humor can help you a lot. If people know that you love to joke and have a good time, they will want to join. It's also a great way to be friendly, because people know what to say (they want to be liked as much as you) - they can joke too! Everyone is happy.
   • If sometimes people laugh at you, that's good! If you can laugh at yourself, that's just a plus. This will show that you are an open person and do not only think about your image - these are two very good qualities. And research shows that if you find yourself in an awkward situation and laugh at it, people will like you more, and they will trust you - you will become a living person in their eyes.

Method 2 of 4: Master Pleasant Body Language

1. 1 Do not forget smile! You will radiate positive energy and can improve the mood of everyone around you. Even if you don't feel happy, or you have a drastic breakdown, the muscles involved in smiling can trigger feelings of lightness and happiness.
   • Think of good things or moments from the past that made you laugh in order to induce a genuine smile. People will think, why are you smiling?
   • It takes more muscles to frown than to smile - and for good reason! Everyone should smile, not frown.
2. 2 Open up. The point is that everyone wants to be liked. Everything. It's simple logic - the more people like you, the easier it is for you to live. Since everyone is in the same battle, help them a little. Be open to communication. Smile, open your arms and put your phone down. The world is in front of you. What will come to you if you let him in?
   • Think about the people you would like to be friends with. Chances are you won't be using the adjective "morose." If you want to make it easier for yourself to find a friend, make sure you exude positive emotions. Let your body be relaxed, get carried away with what is happening around you and notice people. In fact, it will become twice as easy.
3. 3 Make eye contact. Have you ever spoken to a person while his eyes roamed the room but never looked at you? It’s a disgusting feeling - once you notice it, you’ll want to shut up and see if it’s noticed at all. Don't be that person. If someone gets too carried away, you can look away (you don't want to play peepers), but if they are talking about the topic, give them your attention. You would like that too!
   • Some people have trouble making eye contact - they just don't make eye contact. If this is about you, try to fool yourself and look at your nose or eyebrows. People tend to lose their minds if you don't look at them, so fool them and yourself by looking at their orbital bones.
4. 4 Mirror the movements of the interlocutor. This is a famous way to create a subconscious connection between you, mirroring and repeating the movements of the interlocutor so that you both are in the same position, with the same facial expression, weight distribution, general body position, and so on. Try to play with this as you talk - imaginary "sameness" can help you. However, you have to do it subconsciously, don't overdo it - you might get too carried away!
   • This technique works well with peers, not elders. Recent studies have shown that negative effects - coldness, etc. - can occur if two subjects are in an inappropriate environment (talking about money, problems with work, etc.). Save it for a group of friends you want to bond with, not for your boss.
5. 5 Show friendliness and respect. Chances are, at some point in your life, someone has stressed that you need to pull your shoulders back, hold your head high, and squeeze your hand tightly as you say hello. While this is good for some situations (like a job interview), it won't help you to like people and make friends. Your body should be relaxed. Show that you are not challenging the other person to a duel.
   • Think about how you say hello. In the video where Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela met (two people who have the right to think of themselves as important), both showed themselves in a different way - friendly and willing to help each other, using their free hand for extra touch smiling. They show that they respect and sympathize with each other - this will help you please.
6. 6 Use the power of touch. People need other people to survive and to be happy. Children who lack touch do not thrive. The same thing happens in adulthood! If you want to create a stronger bond with someone, find reasons to touch them.Of course, within acceptable limits! Touch an arm or shoulder, or even a high-five. Small moments turn into connections when you add touch to them.
   • Think of someone coming up to you and saying, “Hi! How are you?" Now imagine this same person coming up to you and saying, “[Your name]! How are you?" The second is better, isn't it? Use this. It won't cost you anything.

Method 3 of 4: Think about it

1. 1 Love people. Let's face it, the easiest way to please people is to make them like you. It's not that hard anymore, is it? Of course, you've happened to be around someone who didn't care if you were here or not. But you were also in the opposite situation - with people who made you feel needed and were happy with you. What do you like best, even if you cannot explain why?
   • You cannot expect to be liked by people if you cannot say that about yourself. Chances are that you like people you want to like (why would you worry about their opinions anymore?), So let them know! Smile when they enter the room. Have a conversation. Comment on what they mentioned last Wednesday to let them know you were listening. Little things will tune them in to your sincerity.
2. 2 Be positive. Everyone wants to be around someone who radiates so much energy that they light up the entire room. The opposite is also true - no one wants to be near Princess Nesmeyana. To please people, be positive. It means smile, be enthusiastic, happy, look at everything in an optimistic light. You probably have an example to follow.
   • This behavior should be around the clock. It will be difficult for you to radiate positive if your soul is hard. You need to train your brain to make some changes - and positive thinking will be one of them. Try to always be optimistic, even if you are alone; so you will quickly get used to it.
   • Know when to sympathize. There is a special level of connection between those who are complaining. Talking to your coworkers about what a terrible new boss you have will bring you together, but if you only do that, only negativity will be associated with you. Rarely complain and only comment, never start a conversation with a complaint.
3. 3 Think about your strengths and find out how you can show them. What talent or personality trait do your friends love? Show them to the world! People are drawn to those who have hobbies and abilities. This makes us useful and interesting. Whatever it is, proudly carry your flag.
   • If you sing well, go on stage for a karaoke night and entertain everyone. Are you baking well? Bring a treat to the office. Are you drawing? Invite a company to your show or simply hang your painting in the common room. Let everyone consider your personality and get to know you better.
4. 4 Most importantly, don't forget be yourself. It is impossible to please everyone - your fake personalities may play a cruel joke with you at some point in your life - but you will receive the approval of those who are important and with whom you have a lot in common.
   • People love sincerity, so don't change yourself enough to make you uncomfortable with the change. Pretending can alert those who respond. Let all your words and actions matter. If you want to be liked, then you have good intentions and everything will be fine.
5. 5 Know that people are only momentarily impressed by their appearance. They like sincerity. So for now, that designer bag and that perfect abs have won a few fans, but it won't last long. Of course, it's tempting to think that your visual appeal will make people sympathize with you, but only in one sense. If people find out that you are a liar, they will run away from you and they won't care what you look like.
   • In recent studies, people were asked what qualities they thought other people were looking for in friends or relationships. Money, appearance and status have taken quite high places. But when asked what they value, they replied that honesty, warmth and kindness. Society tells us (and this is not true) that looks and money are more important than anything else, but deep down you know that this is not true.
     • Good hygiene is important. People won't want to spend time with you if you smell like you've just been to a dung farm. Even if you have the character of the son of Mother Teresa and Jim Carrey, you will be treated coolly. So take a shower, brush your teeth, look in the mirror before going out, and go outside with a smile.
6. 6 Admit that you are feeling vulnerable. The desire to be liked leaves you at the mercy of those around you. Leaving your comfort zone will be a challenge for you. The actions you take will scare you. This is good. This is a challenge to yourself. This is how you will develop. If you still feel like you are, you are only building your character by improving it. It can be scary, but it's worth it.
   • There is a difference between wanting to be liked and having to be liked in order to feel happy. Your opinion of yourself should not be based on the opinion of others; so you will be offended very quickly. But if you feel comfortable and just want to be well received, that's worthy of respect. People will see it and react. The fear will go away very quickly.
7. 7 Control your flaws. Most people don't like those who can't resist their flaws. If you say something like, "This is nothing ... good enough for me," or constantly talk about how fat or ugly you are, people will notice that you don't like yourself. Your personal negativity should not spread to others. So leave it outside the door. This is not good for you and not good for your friendship.
   • Imperfections are the feelings and behaviors you show when you are unhappy with yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, it ruins the mood in the entire room and many will not want to deal with it. Don't be afraid to appear humble or arrogant. Say what you really think. You have value. We all have it.
8. 8 Know that you can control your thoughts. The negative way of thinking can be learned and just as easily forgotten; nobody says, "Oh my god, my baby is so negative." If you have problems with optimism, fortunately, you are the one who can help you! Your brain is flexible and can be trained. You need to gather your courage and do it.
   • The easiest way to start is to stop. Stop negative thinking. When you find yourself thinking bad about yourself, don't end the thought. Replace it with something more positive and realistic. You will feel better. Convert “I’m fat” into “I would like to lose a little weight; how can I do it? " and thought will flow in a different direction. So get started!
9. 9 Don't be bothered by someone else's prejudice. We know that everyone likes confidence, and that being indifferent to what others have to say about you has the same effect. When you start presenting yourself, people will notice. Think of the guy at the party who looks like a peacock. He wants everyone to notice his masculinity. This is unattractive. This is insincere and, let's be honest, sad; he doesn't think he's good on his own. Don't be this guy.
   • You nerd, hipster or hipster, it doesn't matter. If people think that your love of glitter polish means you are an idiot, let them be wrong. If they think your veganism is stupid, so be it. Even funny. People will condemn you - so be it. They can think whatever. This shouldn't worry you.

Method 4 of 4: Develop Nice Habits

1. 1 Be friendly and kind. Do you know why shy people are treated badly? Because people think they are cold and indifferent. These are two qualities that are frightening and repulsive. So be the complete opposite! Warmth and kindness are highly valued in society - this means that you think about the interests of the individual and want to do what is best. Who wouldn't like it?
   • Start doing random acts of kindness. Do something for others, even if you don't know them. Hold the door when entering or exiting a building, help a stranger who dropped something, invite the group to photograph them if they can be seen trying to do so. This type of selflessness inspires others to do the same in return - not just for you, but for other people in their lives as well.
2. 2 Be an extrovert ... to a certain extent. Generally speaking, people like some degree of openness. It makes sense: we all want to talk and be social, and being with extroverts reduces the risk of awkwardness. If you are sitting at a table without taking part in the conversation, you could be elsewhere. Cast your vote! Let him be heard. How else will people know that you are valuable?
   • However, if you know that it is impossible to talk to you, you will need to calm down a little. Everyone likes a good conversationalist, but no one wants to spend time with someone who won't let them get a word out. If you made the last five comments, step back a bit. The second person does not have to interfere with the conversation, maybe he needs an invitation. Get his opinion to share the pleasure of the conversation.
3. 3 Don't be sticky. People like people who are nice, not people who are ready to die but be liked. If you compliment and follow them all the time, you won't get what you want. You will be seen as an annoying mosquito that needs to be swatted. Try not to be needy.
   • If you are careful, you will see clues. If someone doesn't answer your calls, only talks to you when they need something, don't try hard - and if you constantly ask them to spend time with you, you may be sticky. Although you have good intentions, despair is not attractive. Step back and see if they come back.
4. 4 Ask for services. If you've ever heard of the Benjamin Franklin Effect, you know what it is. It turns out that we often make decisions based on our own behavior. If you do something good for someone, you will like him more. If you offend someone, you will like him less. It's all about cognitive dissonance. So ask for a favor - if the person helps you, they might like you even more.
   • The bottom line is that we subconsciously look at our behavior and ask ourselves what you did. Why did we lend this friend our favorite coffee cup? Well ... probably because you like him. It's funny, but deciding that we like someone is the same as actually sympathizing with the person.
5. 5 Keep your promises. Make sure you can handle all of your responsibilities. These are called "responsibilities" because you have to try to complete a task, so don't back down at the last minute. If this cannot be avoided, let everyone involved in this assignment know that you will not be able to complete it. It can be annoying, but they will know what to expect and adjust their schedule as needed.
   • Whether you're making dinner or finishing a project, it's important to keep your friends and coworkers up to date. Whether it's an email stating that everything is fine or a note apologizing for the delay, people will appreciate it. Ignorance can be tiresome, even if the project is completed on time and to the highest standard.
6. 6 Stand up for your beliefs, but don't preach them. You have to be a person to be liked. Nobody would argue with that. To be a person is to have beliefs, opinions and standards.Express them! They are part of you. If we were all the same, life would be unbearably boring. Insert your five cents. You can contribute something interesting.
   • Standing up for your beliefs is one thing; preaching is another. If you disagree with someone's comment on the topic, great! Find out more. Talk about it. Have an intelligent discussion about your different points of view. Both of you will learn something. Instead of shutting up someone, saying that they are wrong and preaching your ideas, open your mind and try to understand their point of view. Maybe you will understand something too.
7. 7 Know that the most important thing is to keep everyone happy. People are sensitive beings. If your friend starts to argue that the Easter Bunny is a lost son of Jesus Christ, and you want him to please, do not make a scene about how silly it sounds. Let the person speak. It's the same if someone says, “I really think I'm such a good person. I mean, my actions are so humble and selfless. " This is not a reason to get angry and express everything that you think about this person.
   • Again, this rule only applies if you want these people to like you. After a certain amount of comments about what a great person he is, you may well not hold back. But if you're new to a group, sometimes it's best to just go with the flow.
8. 8 Compliment. Everyone is looking for approval. We want to be told that we are beautiful, smart, funny, and so on. It's never enough for us. So when someone comes up to us and says something nice, it can cheer you up for the whole day. Think about it: some people don't hear anything good about themselves in their entire lives. Change this. This will take two seconds of your time.
   • Be sincere. Don't go up to someone and tell them you like their sweatpants. Let your words make sense. Say something to the person himself. It could be something as simple as "This is a great idea." Little things are often easier to believe and make more sense. "You are so funny" after a joke or: "Your article made me think." Whatever you say, let it matter. You will most likely receive the same answer.
9. 9 Make an effort. Most people don't fly around like butterflies. We would like a little attention, but we don't know how to get it. We all feel vulnerable in social situations, and we want to keep that feeling to a minimum. Knowing that we all feel the same will help you understand that you can try and it won't look weird - it will be a bold move. Everyone else "wants", but they feel uncomfortable. If there is someone you would like to befriend, start talking to them. This may be exactly what he was waiting for.
   • It is impossible to please if you are an empty place. Often we feel like no one likes us, when in fact, those around us do not have any feelings about us - simply because you have not shown yourself. The next time you're in a group of people you want to like, show your personality. Try to get a place in this group. Make a joke, smile, start a normal conversation. This is where it all starts.

Tips

• A very easy way to be liked is to ask someone to help you. Try to find a request that matches his skills or interests. This will not only show that you are considerate, but also that you respect his authority in this matter.
• Nice people are those who like people. People feel if they are liked. If you want to please someone, focus on something that you like about them. If you don't like them ... it may not be all that important to please them.
• Dress up. Don't hide behind clothes and hair. Wear clothes that suit you and, if possible, add color to your wardrobe. Thinking about your appearance will help you feel better on the inside as well.
• Be open.If you look sad or angry, people will understand it on some level and won't want to talk to you. Even if you are angry or upset, think about all the reasons that might make you happy in this situation, and try to save your heavy thoughts for time with close friends and family.
• Don't brag. Bouncers are unattractive. You won't look your best; your behavior will look like you are waiting for a round of applause. It's not cute.

Warnings

• Even if you notice something in yourself that needs to be changed, do not forget to be proud of yourself. Your personality is amazing, you have something that can be shown without hesitation, and everyone has flaws, and they can be corrected.
• Don't be fake. People will notice the awkwardness of your mannerisms and understand that you are just acting. You need to really believe in what you are doing, otherwise things will turn out even worse. First impressions are important, but it may seem insincere that you are so concerned about a new person in your life when you really are not. Behave the way you would like to be treated.
• Remember that it is impossible, and not necessary, to please everyone! There will always be people who you will upset and who will upset you, for better or for worse. Know when to leave, respect and behave maturely in conflicts. Don't beat yourself up for mistakes and always be confident in yourself.
• Don't try to convince others that they like you. If you list your best qualities, I might think of you that you are arrogant. Let people see for themselves how good you are.
• Don't try to be obvious to everyone. People see this and stop communicating with you.