Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Getting into the right frame of mind
• Part 2 of 3: Get to work
• Part 3 of 3: Dealing with other people
• Warnings

Being an extrovert is an attitude, condition, or habit in which you are primarily concerned with obtaining positive confirmation of your own ego from others. In other words, extroverts are always looking for appreciation from others. If you would like more positive affirmation from the world around you, you can do this without changing yourself.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Getting into the right frame of mind

1. Appreciate being an extrovert. It's important to focus on the great qualities extroverts have: they generally make friends easily, feel comfortable in front of a large crowd, and can start and keep a party going. While it is true that both extroverts and introverts have their weaknesses (some extroverts can talk endlessly, which is sometimes out of place), it is better to focus on the good points.
   • It's easy to put extroverts in a negative light - many people think that these types of characters open their mouths and then start thinking, and that they are superficial. But that is not true! Extroverts are just as intuitive and tactful as introverts. If you want to become more of an extroverted person, you will have to associate this with positive qualities - and there are many!
   • The definition of an extrovert is that of someone who lives around others. That's all. They are equally capable of nurturing deeper thoughts and are excellent listeners. They generally have good social skills (... not all) and can be quite ambitious.
2. Introduce yourself as the correct kind of extroverted. It's true: some extroverts come across as spurious and fake. Just think of a typical car salesman. That's the kind of extrovert you don't want to be. And you don't have to. You can be whatever you want. Some extroverts can even seem shy!
   • What are the qualities of an ideal extrovert? Maybe they feel good in larger groups, maybe they speak more quickly, maybe they get the party started. Whatever it is, these are things you can strive for and get done. It is simply a habit. Think of a few key concepts and write them down. Being "extroverted" is not an easy goal to achieve; "Dare to speak" is something that seems easier to achieve.
3. Understand that it is more of a spectrum. Come on: research has shown that most of us are more ambivert. It's the standard bell curve. Some people are on one end of the spectrum (introverted), others are on the other end (extroverted), but the vast majority are comfortably in the middle.
   • Even if you are mostly an introverted person, you will always have some extroverted qualities. Even Jung (the noted psychologist) has said that no one is completely one or the other - if they were, they would be in an asylum. All you have to do is draw out your extroverted tendencies. They are hiding somewhere.
4. It may make you feel better. While not everyone agrees that the study was completely unbiased, there has been research showing that introverts who acted out more extroverted were happier. Experts disagree why, but the rationale is that you generally get a more positive response from your environment. That positive affirmation from others can be a very powerful tool.
   • It seems to be the case that introverts underestimate what they enjoy doing. Even for most extroverts, there are parties they would rather not go to, but what happens when you do? You have a good time. Whether it's because you take pride in going beyond your own boundaries, you're experiencing something new, or for some other reason, we're not the best predictors of what we like and don't like.
5. Do realize that it can be very difficult. The brain is malleable, but it is not possible to change completely just like that. Would you like to be an extrovert, but you are a hardcore introvert, then this can be a real agony. Even some extroverts find too much social stimuli tiring at some point. This can be a barrier that takes years to overcome.
   • If you find yourself having a hard time leaving your safe comfort zone, don't force anything. It is better to consider the following: Western culture values ​​extroversion - Eastern cultures are much less affected by this. Could it be that this need to be an extrovert is not something you really want, but rather something that has been learned? Try accepting your own introverted character - introverts are just as needed in this society as extroverts!

Part 2 of 3: Get to work

1. Observe. Changing your personality is hard work. But it can be done. Start by observing the people around you, noting how many differences there are and how they behave in different environments and situations. Some of these people feel like a fish in water in small groups, while others prefer to stand on stage to address a room. Some people even get a little shy in certain situations!
   • Take the time to consider what it's what makes you think someone is an extrovert. Again, extroverts can be shy too. Just because a person is shy doesn't mean they can't get energy from other people. Would you like to have and radiate more self-confidence? Are more outward-looking? Besides extrovertion, what other qualities do these people show that you would like to adopt?
2. Come into your role. This is a gentle way of saying "pretend." But you don't - you just play a part. Now that you've spent some time observing extroverts, try to emulate them. If you are in a social situation, put on your extroverted hat. Robert de Niro, Barbara Walters, David Letterman - they are all introverts. But they climb on the podium and play their part. And then they go home.
3. Start modestly. Give yourself a not too difficult task and plenty of time. Try to spend 15 minutes a day becoming an extrovert. Do something small that makes you feel slightly uncomfortable. Ring the bell at your neighbors and introduce yourself. After the first time, the second time becomes a lot easier. The third time is already routine.
   • If you are more comfortable as an extrovert in that short space of time, make this a bit bigger. Next week, spend an hour getting to know other people. When you are at the bus stop, ask the person next to you for the time and then comment on something you can comment on, depending on the situation. Try to make the cashier smile. It's the little things ...
4. Be among the people. The fact is, you won't be able to become more extroverted if you stay indoors. That's just part of it. So go meet people! Whether it is joining the group next to the coffee machine or accepting an invitation to a wedding, go there. You won't grow and get better if you don't do this.
   • In general, people will stop asking you at some point if you say no every time. Do yourself (and the other) a favor and accept an invitation. The more you interact with other people, the more comfortable you are around them and the more you appreciate the feeling of being more outgoing.
5. Search for your self-esteem. Some of us label ourselves as unworldly or eccentric. Extroverts don't have time for anti-socioes like us. That is no less true! Just because you're introverted doesn't mean you don't have social skills or are worth less. There is a role for everyone in a group of people.
   • Take the most extreme example: you sit inside all day, day in and day out at the computer while playing video games and eating snacks. Are you still intelligent? Yes. Do you have any skills? Yes. Does someone with an idea for a business that can get along well with other people need someone else to build their website? Yes. What do you have to offer at the negotiating table?
6. Dare to be silly. Extroverts are more likely to be slightly more impulsive than introverts. To mimic the impulsiveness of an extrovert (until it becomes second nature), don't think everything through. If you walk along a stream, jump in (if you can swim). Start singing in the middle of the supermarket. Anything that you might have thought weird before, now needs to be reconsidered.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with other people

1. Find people who are right for you. Sometimes it is not your fault, but the people you associate with. In the best way you can think of, of course.Part of the problem may be that you just don't click with the people around you. Maybe you would fit better in a group with older (or younger) people, from other walks of life, etc., something more up your alley. These people may bring out a side of you that is more chatty and, to be honest, more fun interacting with people. Think about it.
   • Try this theory out if you join a (sports) club. Wherever you meet a number of people with the same interests, you will make it clear that not everyone causes you to close. They are often a certain kind of people. Some people will stop you and some will not - find those people who will make you more open.
2. Use your strengths. You may be a good listener, but you are not a good talker. Maybe you read a lot instead of being a party animal. Newsflash! Your introverted strengths can become your extroverted strengths. The next time someone you know makes it clear that they're not having such a good day, go over there and ask what's going on. Let your listening skills take over. Start a conversation about the book you're reading - maybe you didn't know it yet, but extroverts read too!
   • Chances are, if you're very introverted, you'll think a lot about things, observe inwardly, and be mindful. If so, then you are all set: you have an eye for detail that is difficult to learn. Use it. Notice and comment on small things. People may be briefly surprised, but then move on with a smile because someone has finally noticed something special about them. Everyone loves that feeling.
3. Start the conversation. If you are in a social situation (then you are already halfway through), start a conversation. About everything, it doesn't matter. Dare to voice your opinion. Obviously you have it! And if you don't like expressing how you feel, ask questions. Everyone loves it when others are interested in them. Asking questions is a comfortable way to deal with this.
   • If you have difficulty with this, start talking more in an environment where you are at home. Talk more to family and your best friends. Sometimes it is difficult to get used to the sound of our own voice. Practice not only makes perfect, but also habit. The more you get used to talking a lot, the better you can deal with it in all sorts of other situations.
4. Dare to take a stand. The next step is to be assertive. When the opportunity arises to voice your opinion, take it. Unless you're going to propagate genocide to solve the world food problem, or claim a formless purple pudding is haunting you on Tuesday. probably won't cause you much uproar or rejection. In the grand scheme of things, is telling what kind of movies you like a monumental comment? Not really. And what did you think of the boss's presentation? Also not. Dare to say something about it.
   • Let other people set the tone, if you prefer. One of the things most people are good at is complaining, and they get especially good at that when they get into groups. Find a time when you and your friends or some acquaintances are talking about anything and everything and give your opinion. If other people don't like it, so be it. The conversation will not immediately come to a standstill.
5. Dare to interrupt. Introverts are guilty of often being too nice. An extroverted person grabs the conversation by the horns and does not let go. Why couldn't you be! You don't have to wait for your chance - because it may never pass. It's not rude if you do it at the right time. Extroverts do this all the time.
   • The only point is you have to learn when you can do this. If you think about this carefully, you will probably recognize the right opportunity. In the middle of someone's story about their sick brother, it probably isn't the best opportunity to interrupt this. In the midst of a speech about veganism, this probably can. If it's a lively conversation or discussion, go for it. If someone expresses outrage at something, or shares something emotional with you, wait for the other person to finish.
6. Draw attention. The smaller stuff is out of the way - now it's time for the bigger job: attracting attention. This may include identifying yourself, or perhaps not. More often than not, but it's about inciting action. Start a game. Arrange something for the weekend. Organize something.
   • Try to get people to take action. Start on a topic that everyone has an opinion on. Start throwing popcorn across the table. Hide behind a lamppost. Send a funny video to your friends. Get people moving and start the conversation.
7. Make people laugh. While not all extroverts are comedians and not all comedians are extroverts; if you want to be noticed, making your friends laugh is a good way to get it done. It is a good first step that you attract attention with it, but you can still continue this. Even at the expense of yourself!
   • Even something as simple as making funny noises or moving in slow motion can make people laugh. If quirky is doable, then it works. People will be amused and hopefully put at ease. Your social self gets a boost when others join you!
8. Be a pacemaker. A true extrovert can use an awkward silence to do something with it, even if it's just about the house cat. If you are in a group and everyone is twiddling their fingers, start talking. See how many marshmallows you can balance on your forehead. Ask someone to join a game of "do or dare." Put on the Macarena and start dancing.
   • Different groups react to different things. If you're with a group of post-Vivaldi operetta aficionados and the classic debate about wine in steel barrels versus oak barrels has come to an awkward end, setting up the Macarena won't be your best bet. Know your target audience - what would get them going?

Warnings

• Don't overdo it; making yourself uncomfortable over and over will only make you frustrated. Set your own pace. Take baby steps.