Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Articulating your apologies
• Part 2 of 3: Apologizing correctly
• Part 3 of 3: The layout of the letter
• Tips
• Warnings

You may have messed up, but now you are willing to admit your mistakes and try to make amends. A good plan! A letter apologizing is a great way to try to correct a mistake or to make sure that the person you hurt may feel a little better, even though you may not have made that mistake with you. made intentionally. In this article, we explain how you can ensure that your apology letter achieves the desired effect and does not actually make the situation worse. Start with Step 1 below and learn how to write a letter of apology that is not only tactful, but also functional.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Articulating your apologies

1. Briefly explain what your letter is about. It is a good idea to tell the person you are writing the letter to at the beginning of your letter that it is an apology letter. That way, you give him or her the opportunity to prepare themselves emotionally for what is in the rest of the letter. You should try to prevent the reader of your letter from being confused by what you have written and not knowing what to make of it.
   • For example, you could say something like, "I really wanted to write you a letter of apology."
2. Explain what you did wrong. Now that you have admitted that you want to apologize in this letter, explain what you want to apologize for and why what you did was wrong. You have to be very precise and describe everything in as much detail as possible. By being honest about everything, you let the person you apologize to know that you really understand what you've done.
   • You can say something like, “What I did last weekend was really badly inappropriate, disrespectful and above all, very selfish. Of course, your wedding is supposed to be all about your happiness and celebrating your love. By proposing to Jessica, I drew that attention to me. I was actually trying to take your moment away from you and that was of course wrong. ”
3. Recognize how much pain you have caused the other person. Recognize that you have hurt the other person and that you understand very well how much pain they must have felt. This is often also a good time to say that you never intended to hurt him or her.
   • For example, say something like, “Jacob told me that with my action I not only ruined your experience of your wedding, but that because of my fault, your honeymoon is no longer the great experience it should have been. I hope you understand that was never my intention. Of course I wanted you to be able to look back on this time in a positive way and that you would only have nice memories, but I ruined that with my selfish stuff. I stole those beautiful memories from you. Of course I can't know exactly how that feels for you, but at least I now understand that what I've done is one of the worst things I could have ever done to you. ”
4. Express your gratitude. You don't have to, but if you want you can thank the other person for everything he or she has done for you in the past and for how well he or she has always helped you. This shows that you appreciate the other person and it sometimes helps to make it clear that you really feel bad about what you have done.
   • For example, say, “Of course, what I did was all wrong when you consider how warmly and cordially your family has welcomed me. Not only have you shown how much you love my brother, but you have always given me support and love in a way that I never thought possible. That I have hurt you so much now is in fact a gross insult and in no way respects all that you have done for me and I can hate myself for that. ”
5. Take responsibility. This is one of the most important parts of apologizing, but it is often the hardest part to put into words. Even if the other person may also have made some mistakes, there is no room in this letter to talk about them. What you should do is openly and without hesitation admit that you made a mistake. You may not have any good reasons for what you did and actually cannot properly explain why you did it. Still, you will have to acknowledge that what you did hurt someone else.
   • Say something like, “I'd like to try to explain to you why I did it, but it just can't be justified. My intentions, although they have never been wrong, don't matter here, only the wrong choices I made matter. I therefore take full responsibility for my selfish actions and for the enormous sorrow that I have caused you with them. ”
   • So you are not supposed to justify what you have done, but you can try very carefully to explain what led you to it. If you really think it is necessary or if you think it will ease the situation, explain why you made the choice you made. You should only do this if you think the other person will feel a little better if he or she understands why you made certain choices.
6. Come up with a solution that can change the situation. Just saying you're sorry isn't enough. Apologizing only really makes sense if you can find a way to fix the problem and prevent further problems. This is even better than simply saying it will never happen again. If you come up with an idea to change the situation and explain how you plan to tackle it, you show the other person that you really want to tackle the problem seriously and that you really want the situation between you recovers again.
   • For example, you could say something like, “But simply saying“ sorry ”isn't enough. You deserve better. Jessica and I would love to host a massive welcome party in your honor when you guys get back. We are really going to make it the best party ever and it will really be 100% focused on celebrating the gigantic love you share with my brother. If you don't like this, it's no problem: I would just like to find a way to create the unforgettable and beautiful memories that I have taken from you. ”
7. Explain that you hope that the contact between you will be better from now on. It is better not to ask the other person directly if he or she wants to forgive you. With that you are actually demanding something from the other, whether you mean it that way or not, and also from someone you have already hurt. You can better explain what you really want, and that is that the contact between you will get better in the future.
   • Say something like, “I can't expect you to forgive me, although I really hope for that. All I can say is that I really, really want it to be okay between us. I really want you to feel comfortable when I'm around, and maybe even happy if possible. I really want to recoup the great relationship we had. Hopefully in the future we can find a way to get over all this and experience great moments together again. ”

Part 2 of 3: Apologizing correctly

1. Don't promise change if you're not 100% sure you can deliver. This is very, very important. If you have made a mistake that you think there is a good chance you will make it again or if you think that mistake is caused by inherent differences in personality or norms and values ​​between you, then do not promise the other person that you will change. Chances are that you will make the same mistake again and if you apologize again later, for anything, it will not sound very credible.
2. Watch your words. Apologizing is an art. It's something we don't naturally want and that we resist a lot of the time. Therefore, if you want to apologize appropriately, you have to express yourself very carefully. Certain phrases and words may sound like you're apologizing, but they actually only make the situation worse because they're actually saying you're not sorry at all. You often use those words without thinking about it, so be careful when writing a letter. Such words and expressions are for example:
   • "Mistakes have been made ..."
   • Phrases with "if", such as, "I'm sorry if I hurt you" or "If this makes you feel bad ..."
   • "I'm sorry you felt that way."
3. Be honest and real. If you apologize, you will have to be honest and say what you really feel and think. If you cannot do that, it is sometimes better to wait a while before apologizing. And once you start writing your letter, don't use standard phrases or clichés. You should also never just use a copy of a letter you got from the internet. The purpose of your apology letter is to have what it says specifically about your situation, so that the person you apologize to knows that you really understand what happened and what exactly was wrong with it.
4. Do not include expectations in your letter and do not automatically assume anything. The last thing you want is for your letter to appear commanding or unkind or offend the other person even more. What you don't want is to make the other person forgive you for feeling guilty, so don't make it seem that way. You should also not assume that the other person feels a certain way, nor should you think that you know why he or she is sad or offended, because then you may end up showing just how little you have actually understood. of what happened. Whatever you put in your letter, it is best to choose at least a modest, more submissive tone in everything you say, so that the reader of your letter will feel that he or she is in control of the situation. If you use such words in your letter, it is most likely that the other person will forgive you for what happened.
5. Wait a day or two before sending your letter. If possible, wait a few days before you post the letter. It is wise to reread the letter as soon as you have emotionally distanced yourself from what you have written.

Part 3 of 3: The layout of the letter

1. Choose the most suitable salutation for your letter. Depending on your relationship with the other, it is best to just start a letter of apology with "Dear .....," or possibly "Dear .....,". It is better not to start your letter with too flowery or poetic language. Therefore, keep the salutation as simple and ordinary as possible.
2. End your letter elegantly. If you're not sure how to end your letter differently, just end with "Best regards, ...", but if you'd like to make your letter a little more creative and make it sound less like a form letter, you can you can also try something else. For example, you could end your letter with sentences such as, "I appreciate you having listened to me" or, "I would like to apologize to you again for the problems I have caused with my actions and I hope really that I can do something to make it up to you. "
3. Officially apologize. If you are writing an apology letter in a more official or professional context, you will need to make sure that the letter makes an official impression. Print the letter neatly on nice paper, add the necessary information such as the date, your own name and the name of the organization, sign the letter with pen and, depending on the circumstances and the type of organization, do not forget the other rules that apply to an official letter.
   • You will also need to change the sentence structure of your letter. Your letter is intended to be fairly formal and appropriate to the situation.

Tips

• If you apologize, you will sometimes have to ignore your pride. You cannot achieve anything with pride; a really good relationship often comes at no price.
• If you are having a hard time finding the right words for your letter, ask a friend, girlfriend, or family member to help you. He or she should know what is expected of you and will probably be more than happy to help you.
• Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Honesty is the most important thing. And if you promise something, keep that promise.
• Write a short and nice letter; say what it says directly and take responsibility for your actions.
• On the other hand, you shouldn't make your letter too short. With a letter of apology of two or three sentences you will not achieve the right effect. Show the other person that you have put time and effort into the letter.
• Try to explain why you did what you did. The other person may feel better knowing you didn't have bad intentions.
• Try to state clearly that it was your fault and don't try to blame anyone else. That way you show that you are mature and have a sense of responsibility.

Warnings

• Don't include things in your letter that might make the other person feel guilty. If you do that, chances are that the other person will not take your letter seriously and will not forgive you for what you did.