Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Using tools to measure emotional intelligence
• Method 2 of 3: Measure emotional intelligence through conversations
• Method 3 of 3: Developing emotional awareness
• Tips

Emotional intelligence is your ability to assess and control your own emotions and recognize the emotions of others. Someone with high emotional intelligence is able to use their own emotions in thinking, solving problems and dealing with them, as well as the emotions of others. You can use standard tests to measure emotional intelligence. You can also ask questions to assess a person's emotional intelligence. If you find yourself lacking this skill, you can take steps to improve your own emotional intelligence.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Using tools to measure emotional intelligence

1. Take an online test. Many online reviews claim that they can measure your emotional intelligence. Generally, you will answer a series of multiple choice questions and then you will be presented with your results. You can try tests like the one on this site: http://www.eiconsortium.org/measures/measures.html
   • Some tests are more reliable than others. The tests on this website are substantiated by a lot of research, and so at least have some more information to support them.
2. Choose a self-report test to learn how you see yourself. A certain type of test asks you questions about how you see yourself. It's the easiest approach because you can do it all online and yourself in less than an hour. However, it doesn't necessarily get you the whole picture by itself.
   • For example, this type of test might ask you to rate a series of statements such as "I often feel upset." True, a little true, or not true ".
3. Ask others to rate you through testing. Another option, which works well in addition to self-reporting, is asking others to rate your emotional intelligence. Basically, they answer similar questions about you that you've asked about yourself, giving you a sense of how you come across to other people.
   • For example, the test could make a statement such as "This person is able to understand the emotions of others." True, a little true, or not true. "
4. Try a skills test. A third approach is to take a test to actually check your skills, instead of just asking you to talk about it. It's beneficial because it asks you to show your emotional intelligence, which can then be measured.
   • This type of test can present you with situations and give you answers to choose from. It can also show you a person's face and ask you to guess that person's emotions.
5. Watch for behaviors that correspond to high emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is not as easy to measure as other types of intelligence, but there are common traits you can notice in yourself. These traits indicate that you have high emotional intelligence. They include:
   • Thinking about emotions
   • Pause
   • Trying to control your thoughts
   • Growing through criticism
   • Be authentic
   • Show empathy
   • Encourage others
   • Apologize for your mistakes
   • You keep your agreements

Method 2 of 3: Measure emotional intelligence through conversations

1. Ask the person to describe a bad day and how they handled it. One way to assess a person's emotional intelligence is to assess how they have coped with a situation where everything has gone wrong.
   • For example, someone who blames other people and just gets angry and frustrated isn't exactly emotionally aware or emotionally intelligent.
   • A flexible person who is able to adapt effectively and deal with bad situations has more emotional maturity.
2. Discuss how the person gets along with other people. If you are in an interview or other situation where you are trying to assess a person's emotional intelligence, try to get him or her to talk about his or her working relationship. If they don't seem to get along or say anything nice about anyone, then they may not be as emotionally mature as you would like.
   • For example, someone might say, "I try to keep my working relationships professional, and frankly, I prefer to work alone." This may indicate a lack of emotional intelligence.
   • But someone who says, "I enjoy working with all kinds of people, so I'm so happy that my workplace encourages collaboration," may be more emotionally mature.
3. Let the other person teach you something. This tactic may seem a bit bizarre, but an emotionally intelligent person will happily take on this challenge. Make sure to encourage the person to describe things you don't understand, and then see how they react. An emotionally intelligent person will try to rephrase things that have already been explained so that you can understand, while a person who is less emotionally intelligent can quickly become frustrated or agitated.
4. Ask who the person admires. This question will help you assess what values ​​the person admires. In turn, you can at least see who the other would want to be, because we often admire people we want to be. That will give you an idea of ​​what level of emotional intelligence the person is working towards.

Method 3 of 3: Developing emotional awareness

1. During the day, try to get in touch with your emotions. Set an alarm to go off multiple times throughout the day. As soon as the alarm rings, take a moment to assess how you are feeling. Find out why you feel this way. The first step to emotional awareness is to be able to recognize your own emotions.
   • It can be helpful to write down your emotions so that you can see trends in how you feel throughout the day. However, just identifying your emotional state is helpful, as it helps you become aware of what you are feeling.
2. Work on regulating your emotions. Being emotionally aware is not just being able to recognize an emotion. You also need to be able to control it in a sense. In part, this means that you don't overreact because you are angry or upset. However, it could also mean trying to put the situation in a better light to help change your emotions.
   • For example, if you are angry because you got a bad rating at work, try to do better. You can say to yourself, "This is just an assessment. It's not the end of the world. Obviously I have yet to learn things and this review will help me with that. I can only get better! "
   • You can also do things like take a deep breath to calm yourself or take a break if you get upset. For example, if you're arguing with someone and you find yourself getting upset, ask for a short break so you can calm down. Take a walk, or count slowly in your head to help calm yourself.
3. listen actively during conversations with other people. Part of emotional awareness is being able to judge and understand other people's feelings. If you are always distracted when you have conversations, you are probably not in tune with what the other person is saying and feeling.
   • Listen thoroughly to what the person is saying. Don't just think about what you want to say now. Eliminate or put away distractions such as telephones, computers, and televisions so that you only have to focus on what the person is saying.
   • Also look beyond the words. What is the person's tone like? For example, it can sound angry. What does their body language say? Do they seem agitated or nervous? For example, if they are tense, you may notice their shoulders are shrugged.
   • Talk about what you see and hear to encourage the person to open up. You could say, "You seem a little anxious. Is there anything I can do to help? "
4. Work on your social skills. Another part of emotional intelligence is getting along with other people, such as being able to negotiate, persuade, direct, and manage conflict. These skills are essential for dealing with other people. You can build these skills by engaging in conversation with others, so move on to more social events that require interacting with others.
   • You have already learned to listen, but that is only part of people's skills. You also need to communicate well by being direct and specific. It also helps to develop a positive attitude as it draws other people towards you.
   • For example, in a meeting you may have to give specific instructions. "Get to work" is not enough. Rather try something like, "I want you all to think about this project and come back to me at the end of the day with ideas to make it better. We'll meet again in two days, and by then I'd like to see some detailed suggestions. Work in teams of two or three to develop your ideas. "
5. Take responsibility for your actions. Being emotionally intelligent also means taking responsibility for the things you do. Admitting your responsibility helps develop relationships with other people because they feel like they can trust you. You are not trying to blame them or anyone else for the things you do.

Tips

• If you want to better understand emotional intelligence, it's the book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ written by Daniel Goleman, good resource.