Content

• Steps
• Advice

Whether you or someone you love has been raped or sexually assaulted, they can recover. People who have passed this process will usually have to go through three stages of recovery from a rape injury at their own pace.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Overcoming the acute phase

1. 

   Be aware that you are not to blame. No matter what happened, the act of coercion or sexual assault against you by someone else is not your fault.
   • Don't let your fear of being blamed prevent you from sharing the situation with others. You are not at fault. Your body belongs to you and only to you.
   • Rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, anywhere. Men are also victims.
   • You never ask for this, regardless of every outfit you wear, and you're not the only one facing it.
   • Being forced to commit sexual acts or being sexually assaulted by someone you date is still considered rape, regardless of whether you know them and are dating them. You may still be in a relationship with someone and are forced to have sex when you don't want to, even if it's not violent. More than half of all rape cases come from someone you know.
   • Drinking alcohol or using drugs is not a good excuse for others to rape you. Binge drinking can make it harder to control and increase your tendency to violence. Drugs and alcohol will also decrease your ability to seek help. No matter who is drinking or taking drugs, there are no rules that allow them to sexually assault you.
   • If you are a man and your penis gets erect during the rape process, don't be ashamed or feel guilty as if you had enjoyed it. Erection is just the physical response to arousal even when you don't want and feel like it. You are not asking for this.

2. 

   
   
   Call for emergency help. If you are in danger or seriously injured, you should call emergency services. Your safety is your highest priority.
   • In Vietnam, you should call 113.

3. 

   
   
   Do not shower, wash, or change clothes. You'll want to get rid of all the culprit's marks, but it's best to wait.
   • Any remaining body fluids or hair samples on you will be used as evidence, if you decide to prosecute.
   • Washing your face, bathing, or changing clothes will remove important evidence.

4. 

   
   
   Seek medical help. You should go to hospital and notify staff that you have been raped and let them know if you have had a vaginal or anal infiltration.
   • If you give your permission, specially trained staff will conduct a “forensic examination” and use the “rape investigation kit” to collect hair and fluid samples for legal evidence. . Their training will ensure that they understand your needs and your feelings during this bad time, and that they will try to go through the process in as pleasant a way as possible.
   • You will need to be tested and / or treated for a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and an unwanted pregnancy. Treatment will include emergency contraception as well as preventive medicine to prevent infection.

5. 

   Let staff know if you suspect you have been drugged or raped while under the influence of alcohol.
   • If you think a rape drug is being used, you should not urinate until you get to the hospital, as they will ask you to provide a urine sample to test for Rohypnol and the medications taken. to rape another.

6. 

   Call the hotline. In the US, you can phone the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or online, their specially trained staff will give you guidance. where to go and what to do. In Vietnam, you can call 113.
   • Many sex assault centers will provide trained staff with you to the hospital, or to your medical appointment so you don't have to travel alone.

7. 

   Consider calling the police to report the incident. This action will help bring the perpetrator to justice and prevent him from harming anyone else.
   • If you suspect that you have been under anesthetic, keep the cup or bottle you took, if possible. Anesthesia tests will be performed to determine drug use and provide evidence that may be used in the future.
   • The common drug used for rape was not Rohypnol - but alcohol. You should report to the police if alcohol or drugs were involved. Even if you used them completely voluntarily before you were raped, you are not to blame.
   • Reporting to the police will also have a psychological benefit in helping you transition from victim to survivor.

8. 

   If time has passed, don't hesitate to act. Even if 72 hours have passed since you were raped, you should still contact the police, helpline, and a medical professional.
   • Body fluids should be collected within 72 hours of the attack. Even if you are not sure whether you are prosecuting the person or not, you should gather evidence so you can use it as needed.

9. 

   Be patient with your emotional trauma. You have experienced shocking events, depression, anxiety, fear, increased alertness, and nightmares. This is normal and you should feel better soon.
   • Survivors will also experience guilt and shame, trouble eating and sleeping, and difficulty concentrating.
   • Trauma experienced by survivors of compulsion and sexual assault is in the form of post-traumatic stress disorder.

10. 

    Understand that physical symptoms will appear. You may experience pain, multiple cuts, bruises, internal trauma, or discomfort after being attacked. They are heartbreaking reminders but will quickly pass.
    • You should move gently for a while, until the pain and bruise are gone.
    • Try a hot tub bath, meditation, or other relaxation technique that works for you.
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Part 2 of 3: Adjusting the external response

1. 

   Face a period of denial and repression. Sensory denial and suppression are a natural part of the second stage of recovery, called the External Correction phase. They play a significant role in coping and healing.
   • Survivors often go through a period of action as if the attacker has no effect on their life, and it is all just a bad sex experience. The act of denial and restraint is called minimization, and it is a common response to get you going in the short term.

2. 

   Try to get back to your own life. Survivors need to restore normal feelings in life.
   • This part of the External Adjustment phase is called exclusion and allows you to act as if the attack did not happen, even though you still feel chaotic inside. Similar to the minimization in this phase, it will allow you to move on with your life for a short period of time.

3. 

   Chat about it, if you want and can. You will feel like you need to share your onslaught and feelings, with family, friends, the helpline, and the therapist. This is a coping technique called tragedy, but it doesn't mean you're "making a big deal."
   • You may feel as though your trauma has taken over your entire life and changed your identity, especially if all you can and want to do is talk about it. It is natural to want to be confided.

4. 

   Allow yourself to analyze it. Sometimes survivors want to analyze what happened and try to explain it to themselves or others. You can even put yourself in the culprit's shoes to see his thoughts.
   • This doesn't mean you are sympathetic to the person or excusing his behavior, so you don't need to feel guilty if you find yourself going through this stage.

5. 

   There's no need to talk about it if you don't want to. You have the right not to share the attack if you do not want to, even if you know well that your family and friends are just trying to help you by advising you to chat about the problem.
   • Occasionally, survivors may change jobs, move to another city, or make new friends to avoid the emotional triggers and avoid having to talk about the incident. Not everyone needs this. This part is called running away because many people want to get rid of their grief.

6. 

   Allow yourself to feel your own feelings. Depression, anxiety, fear, increased alertness, nightmares, and anger that you experience are common symptoms of sexual assault.
   • During this process, you will not want to leave the house, have trouble eating and sleeping, and separate yourself from people and society.
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Part 3 of 3: Reorganizing life in the long run

1. 

   Let the pain pass. During the third and final stages of the rape trauma, survivors often find memories of the event constantly flooding and they no longer have the ability to suppress them. This is when real recovery begins.
   • Your flashbacks can be so powerful that they interfere with your life. This is a response to post-traumatic stress and compulsive trauma.

2. 

   Know that things will get better. This is often the period where the survivor feels confused, relentlessly reminisces, and has suicidal thoughts. No matter how bad the feeling may be, now is the time to begin incorporating the past into a new reality and move on with your life.
   • At some point, you will accept that being raped is a part of your life and move on.

3. 

   Reach out to family and friends. This is the right time for you to regain a sense of security, trust, and control, and you need to get in touch with people to make this happen.
   • Choose when, where, and with whom you shared the experience of the violence. Be with your supporters, and set limits by only discussing what you are comfortable with.
   • You have the right to tell everyone you want about the attack. Sometimes, the perpetrator will threaten future violence if you speak up, but the only way to stop this situation is to share it.

4. 

   Seek expert help. A counselor trained to deal with rape and sexual assault trauma can be sympathetic and help you handle your emotions.
   • You can find counseling through sexual assault support websites.
   • In addition, there are also quite a few group specific therapist meetings and even online chat rooms for survivors. You should find the method that works for you.

5. 

   Allow yourself time to recover. It can take months, or even years, to recover.
   • Over time, you will redefine yourself, your worldview, and your relationship. Be kind to yourself and don't expect to recover overnight.

6. 

   Seek help with proceedings. If you don't know what to do next, you should call your local crisis center for assistance. Their staff has been trained to guide you through the process and can attend meetings and summons with you if you wish.
   • You do not need to prosecute if you do not want to. The police can also warn an offender to prevent him from committing the same act again.
   • You may be able to get financial assistance for certain expenses related to the time you take time off from work, going to court, finding a counselor, and more. You should check with your regional crisis center for more information.
   • Many centers are affiliated with public services, or provide free legal aid to people who have experienced sexual assault. Here, a support staff will be present to accompany you to see a lawyer or to court.

7. 

   Know the law. There is no deadline for a sexual assault lawsuit, meaning that even if the incident took place months or years ago, you can still report it to the police.
   • If you choose to prosecute the perpetrator and you receive immediate medical attention after the assault, there is a chance that the evidence has been gathered.
   • If a doctor or nurse uses a “rape investigation kit” or conducts a “forensic examination,” the evidence will be carefully kept on file for the police to see.
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Advice

• Recovery doesn't mean you will forget everything and you will never experience any other feelings of sadness or symptoms. Recovery is a personal journey where you will return to life, regain a sense of trust and security, and forgive yourself for any mistakes or self-blame.
• You don't have to go through every stage in a particular order. Each survivor's recovery journey will vary and fluctuate between coping mechanisms.