Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Become a more social person
• Method 2 of 3: Start building connections
• Method 3 of 3: Making relationships last
• Tips
• Warnings

Are you getting ready for your third Saturday night date with your trusty cat this month? If so, it may be time to meet some more people. Of course, getting into a social life is easier said than done, and you may feel shy or nervous about meeting new friends and finding a new routine. But having a social life doesn't have to be that difficult. Read on to find out how to do it.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Become a more social person

1. Make your social life a priority. There are a number of reasons why your life is missing from the social life department. It's likely that one of them is that you didn't make socializing a priority, that you favored work, school, or a romantic relationship over stepping out into the world and making new friends. Sure, going out to the bars every night seems exhausting and unsatisfying at the end of the day, but there are many other ways to make friends, and friends are one of the most important sources of meaning and fulfillment in a person's life.
   • While you may be busy with work and / or school, tell yourself that the next time you have free time, you should spend it on some social activity rather than more work or school.
   • Of course you need your sleep. Don't go out or socialize when you're cranky and exhausted. But try to manage your schedule so that you have some time each week to go out while feeling energized.
2. Get ready to say yes to invitations. Chances are you've gotten used to declining invitations, regardless of whether they come from your neighbors, classmates, or colleagues. Sure, the weekly bowling appointment with your colleague Martha might not seem like the most exciting way to spend your Friday night, but it's better than your current plans… that involve you, a game of frozen yogurt and a 30 Rock marathon. Get used to saying "yes" to things unless you have one real have a good reason to say no.
   • Part of this change will come from adjusting your mindset. The next time someone gives you an invitation, instead of looking for excuses to say no, consider it a positive thing and think about all the benefits this experience can bring to you.
   • Of course you don't have to say “yes” to a person you find creepy or weird. But let's say you find your neighbor Jenny a bit boring and she invites you to a barbecue at her house. Not only could you tell she was more interesting than you thought, but it could be a great opportunity to meet other potential friends.
3. Don't be afraid of rejection. Another reason people don't socialize as much as they want is because they are afraid of being rejected or convinced that people secretly don't like them. Well, if you want to build close, long-lasting friendships, as well as make your everyday life more enjoyable, then you need to open up more to others, even if you're afraid of getting hurt.
   • Sure, rejection is terrible, but you know what's worse? Spending the weekend with your cat.
   • Remind yourself that the worst that can happen is that you may not click with the person and you will never be able to spend time with that person again. Is that really that bad?
4. Add value to a social interaction. Think about your strengths as a person and the things that can draw other people to you. There are a number of ways to add value to a social interaction, whether it's because you're just a fun, funny person to hang out with or because you're really interested in what people have to say and are a good listener . So if you just stand there, don't add anything, then you don't add value. Make sure you have something to contribute.
   • You may have a number of things to offer to different people. One person may be overwhelmed with your intelligence, while someone else would rather talk about music with you. Find out what works for each person.
   • Don't get nervous if you've kept quiet and haven't found anything to contribute to the social interaction. You will get your chance.
5. Keep things positive. Do you know who likes to spend time with people who complain too much or spend all their time walking around with a sour look on their face? No one. Even if you are in a terrible mood or think there is no justice in the world, don't try to show it when communicating with people. Start talking about light, positive topics and you'll find yourself laughing in no time. People are much more likely to want to spend time with you again if they have a positive experience and feed off your positive energy.
   • This does not mean that you should hide your true feelings and not really tell people what is going on inside you. You can open yourself up and be positive and being negative with people, but you should work on building casual friendships before you get too serious.
6. Don't be too greedy. While you should make socializing a priority and get excited about spending time with new people, don't "Spend some time with me!" written all over your face. When you spend time with a new person, act like you might never see that person again until the end of the day, when the time comes to exchange contact information.
   • Don't invite a person you just met to do nine million things to you, especially if some of them are pretty confidential, like spending time with your family. Of course, if you both mention a movie that you want to see, you can ask the person to check it out with you, but don't start inviting the person to participate in every aspect of your life.
   • While you may be tempted, don't say something like, "You're really cool - I hope we can be friends," or the person may get a little nervous.
7. Be a little lenient with new people. One of the reasons you may have problems with your social life is because you tend to think that all new people are boring, stupid, or mean. If you tend to think that no one is good enough to be your friend, or that you have nothing in common with almost everyone you meet, then you should probably reconsider the situation. Instead, try to look at all the good qualities of someone you meet and consider all the things you may have in common, rather than focusing on all the differences you may have.
   • If you tend to think negatively about new people and judge them, it can be a defense mechanism, a way to protect yourself from rejection of people by rejecting those people before they have a chance to teach you know and reject you.
   • If you really don't think you have anything in common with a person you meet, try talking about something else. If you were talking about politics, switch to sports. Of course you can have very different political positions, but you can discover that you have both had a lifelong obsession with Ajax. Who knows, you might end up watching football buddies.

Method 2 of 3: Start building connections

1. Build on your current acquaintances. If you've moved to a completely new city where you don't know a person, this can be tricky. But chances are, you've lived in the same place for a while and just can't befriend someone. If so, think about the people you already know and see if you are not overlooking someone. Here are some ways to do this:
   • click on Friends at the bottom left of your Facebook homepage. You will be able to click on a list of people who live within 10 miles of your home town (if you have listed that). This doesn't mean you should contact people you hardly know, but see if you are surprised to find people close to you that you once had a good relationship with.
   • Look through your phone and make a list of people you enjoy spending time with. This can be a bit stressful. Just make sure they won't be too surprised to hear from you. Then send them a message with the proposal to meet again, such as having a cup of coffee together.
   • Take a look around at work or in your classes. See if you haven't overlooked anyone who could be a potential friend. Don't forget to be open-minded.
   • Know your neighbors. If your neighbors are really friendly and always invite you to come over, accept the invitation.
2. Start with some new hobbies or interests. If you have a problem with socializing because you are too busy to socialize, then you shouldn't do your planning yet make it fuller. However, you need to rearrange your schedule so that you have time to pursue new hobbies or interests that could lead to meeting more people. Here are some things you can try:
   • Has your friend been inviting you to join her book club for months? Say yes or start your own club.
   • Take an acting or improv course for beginners. Not only will it help you be more social in public, but you will also meet many dynamic people.
   • Join a sports club such as football club, volleyball club or tennis club. You will increase your endorphins while meeting some new fun people.
   • Take art classes. Of course you can only focus on your artwork during class, but you can make some great friends during recess.
   • Volunteer in your community. This is another great way to meet new people.
3. Offer more invitations. Remember that friendship is a two-way street. Not only do you have to accept more invitations, but you also have to invite people yourself. So, once you find someone you are (at least a little) with, you should invite that person to spend some time together. The more concrete and personal your plans are, the better. If you just say, "We have to meet soon," it will never happen. Here are some things to consider when inviting someone:
   • Be clear. Don't just say, "We should have a cup of coffee." Instead, say you would enjoy having a cup of coffee together one morning. What do you think of next week?
   • Don't offer things that are too personal or intense at first. Ask the person if he or she would like to have a drink, instead of eating a four-course meal. The person may be concerned about not having enough things to talk about.
   • Don't invite the person to your home. Invite the person to lunch at a restaurant, not on your back porch. Invite the person to go to a movie, not to watch a movie at your house. If you invite the person over to your home, you will come across as someone who wants to be too quick.
4. Get out of. A romantic life is part of a social life, whether you've been with your partner for years or just part of a casual date. If you haven't dated someone in months or years and it's not because your heart was broken, but because you're afraid to make the effort, then you need to make a few changes. Sign up for an online dating site, attend single person events, or ask your acquaintances or friends to arrange a date for you. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
   • Even if the dates don't lead to romance, you can eventually make a new friend or meet other potential friends on your way.
   • Dating is a great way to meet new people, overcome social anxiety, and learn to connect with a wider variety of people. Don't jump into an obsessive relationship right away or your social life will get worse.
   • If you're looking for a partner, find someone who is social and has lots of friends so you can meet more people.
5. Network. Use your job or school for networking to improve your career prospects and to meet more people. If your job has an event network, be it through a volunteer day or through a Happy Hour, don't turn down the opportunity. While you need to build professional relationships at work, you can also make some real friendships. The same for school, if you have been invited to an event where you can meet other people from your field or major, see it as an opportunity to make new friends and meet people who share the same career goals.
   • You shouldn't see people at work or school as just friends from work or friends from class. Some of them can become true lifelong friends. This doesn't mean you have to be BFF with your boss.
6. Spend time with more social people. Perhaps one of the reasons you don't have a social life is because you only have two friends and they both don't want to leave the house. While you shouldn't let your hermit-like friends get in the ditch, make an effort to spend time with more people who have a lot of friends, love to mingle, and usually like to have a good time with a variety of people. These people will not only be fun to spend time with, but will also help you meet more people.
   • Don't spend time with a social person you don't really like. Use cosiness just as a quality when you are looking for more friends.

Method 3 of 3: Making relationships last

1. Get more personal. Starting a social life is one thing, but if you want to keep your life going, you have to make sure that your relationships last. While you should start slow with new friends and stick to safer topics when you get to know each other, you can't just re-discuss the same superficial topics if you've spent more than a handful of time together. You need to learn to open up, reveal a little bit more about yourself, and let the person answer.
   • Don't reveal everything at once. Start by adding more personal information into the conversation little by little.
   • When trying to build a deeper relationship, you should also think about the activities you do with a person. If all you ever do with a new friend is drink a lot and go dancing, try inviting that friend over for dinner and a movie instead.
   • Introduce people to more areas of your life. As you develop closer relationships with people, you can invite them to share your hobbies, show your home, meet your brother, or anything else that helps them get to know a different side of you.
2. Make sure you don't disappear. One of the most important things you can do is stay with people, keep your commitments, and continue to spend time with people. If you've met a new friend and had two successful coffee dates, don't let two months go by without contacting the person, no matter how busy you are. With a new friendship, it is important to keep in touch.
   • If you missed the last three book club dates, you're less likely to bond with the people there.
   • If you want to be a true friend, then you have to stick to your agreements. No one will take you seriously if you have a reputation as an untrustworthy person.
3. Choose quality over quantity. This may backfire if you really try to do everything you can to have a social life, but when it comes to having real friendships, having two or three real friends you can rely on is more important than having thirty acquaintances . While having acquaintances can improve your social life, if you make a deeper connection with a few people, then you will be more likely to spend time with at least one of them once or twice a week, which greatly increases your social life. will improve.
   • It's okay to be good friends and to have acquaintances. Not all acquaintances need to blossom into a genuine friendship, and that's okay.
4. Show people your true self. While you may have tried to tougher or hide certain parts of your personality when you started out in the friend market, if you want your relationships with your new friends to last, you need to stop acting. When you're having a bad day, open up to your friends. If you fear the future, let them know about your concerns. If you have a weird sense of humor, show it.
   • Do not be afraid. If you want to have meaningful friendships, then you have to open up.
5. Remember, having a social life isn't just about having fun. Of course there are the parties, the trips to the beach and the funny messages that will make you crack in the middle of your working day. But having a real social life and having real friendships means you have to be there for the laughter and the weeping. Working out life's difficulties together is what will bring you closer as friends and take your relationships to a deeper level.
   • If you want to be a true friend and build strong bonds that will allow you to spend time with people, then you need to learn to be sympathetic, a good listener, and learn to recognize when your new friend is angry and just wants to talk.

Tips

• Do not feel uncomfortable because you think you are putting people in a difficult situation. That only makes it worse! Just observe how the other person talks, listen to what they have to say, and have a few responses on hand to help save a situation!
• Be brave and keep smiling.
• Be a smooth talker! Be nice, but not TOO SERIOUS so you don't have to defend yourself against bullies. Make sure you have a few good things on hand, just in case.
• Even if you want to go unnoticed at parties for some reason (like avoiding a specific person), don't be a wallflower. Don't stand alone against the wall staring sadly / thoughtfully / creepily at the audience. People will notice you - in the wrong way! - and will think you are one of those aforementioned creepy outcasts. Few people can tell coldness from shyness. It can be difficult to recover from that kind of image (although possible with commitment and support). However, the best tactic is to avoid conjuring up the ghostly image in the minds of the people in the first place.
• Invite people into your current conversation, if you know that the other person (s) are comfortable with it. For example, if you are talking outside and you see a friend walking by, say, “Hi (name)! What are you doing here? Do you have time for a chat? ” Then let him / her know about your conversation if he / she says yes. Help people feel welcome to talk, especially those who are shy.
• Practice a good conversation by talking in the mirror, talking more often to people you are comfortable with, or just thinking at night what you could say before you start talking.

Warnings

• Never be desperate. If someone is treating you badly, don't chase them because you want a social life. That will make other people think that you will let them walk over you and you will lose respect. Bad idea.
• Don't agree with everything, but don't say you disagree just because you feel like it.
• Bragging is not recommended, especially if you are meeting a new person. Most likely, you will come across as a fool, desperate to impress and find company.
• Don't expect anything from anyone. Not even an answer to a compliment.
• Don't compliment people 24/7. It's nice, but after a while you'll seem like 1.a saw, 2.a really desperate person, 3.a weird person who spends his time complimenting people or at worst 4.a creepy, extremely untrustworthy person with ulterior motives. Compliment things you really think deserve a compliment, but don't do it all the time.
• This may take some time and hard work, but don't give up. Good things are worth money.
• Don't just look at one person when talking to a whole group. Also look around at the other faces.
• While saying "yes" can open up many possibilities for having more fun (for example, going to a college party after being invited) and for making progress in your life, it is equally important to know when to say "no" . You would never draw a line in the middle of the hall at school just to win a bet, would you?
• Talk with people, not until people. Have you ever met a person who was unable to speak without shouting loud and bossy? Did you feel like you would like to meet them again? No…? Exactly!