Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Part One: The Basic Procedure
• Part 2 of 3: Part two: The opening sentence
• Part 3 of 3: Part three: Considerations

Starting a conversation with an attractive girl on Facebook can be intimidating, especially if the two of you are just acquaintances or don't know each other yet. Begin the conversation with a comment or question that shows a genuine interest in her, and then proceed with respect and thoughtfulness.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Part One: The Basic Procedure

1. Send a private message. If you want to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook, it's best to send her a private message instead of posting to her timeline, status, photos, or other public content.
   • Sending a private message can help a real conversation develop more easily, as both of you will likely feel more comfortable being yourself when no one else can join the conversation.
2. Join an existing conversation. The only time you need to direct your efforts in public is when you can contribute something meaningful to an existing conversation that's currently happening somewhere on her public profile.
   • Make sure you actually add something to the conversation in a meaningful and non-controversial way. Don't disagree with her in ways that can cause arguments and create a negative impression, and wait for a relatively light-hearted topic. For example, if she openly asks which phone to upgrade to, then you can give her your opinion and support your answer with your reason.
3. Stick to recent content. Even if you've looked at all of her photos from the past five years, she doesn't need to know - at least, not initially. As a general rule, you should only like or comment on content that she's posted in the last month so that you don't come across as a Facebook stalker.
   • You should probably adjust this time frame based on how often she updates her Facebook page. If she updates a dozen times a day, then you should probably stick to the content she posted in the past week. On the other hand, if she only updates once a month then it might be appropriate to comment on the content she's posted for the past few months.
4. Maintain contact. Starting a conversation may not be enough. Normally, you have to make an effort to stay in touch before she becomes interested enough to contact you first.
   • By doing your best for this several times, you show that you have a persistent and more genuine interest in her.
   • Perseverance is good, but don't obsess. Starting a new conversation every few hours or every day can be overwhelming, so leave her alone in between messages.
   • Also, don't constantly bother her for a response. If she doesn't want to reply to your message, then she really won't change her mind by complaining about it.
5. Make a good impression before sending a friend request. If you're not friends with her yet, you should talk to her for a while before sending her a friend request. She may not accept requests from strangers, but will be more likely to accept the request once she gets to know you.
   • After a few conversations, ask her if she's okay with you sending a friend request. Asking for her approval shows a great deal of respect and she is likely to appreciate the gesture.

Part 2 of 3: Part two: The opening sentence

1. Ask open questions. Starting with a question can work out well, but you should stick to open questions instead of asking closed questions. Closed questions can be answered with "yes" or "no", but open questions require a more detailed answer. As such, open-ended questions can more easily lead to conversation.
   • For example, you can ask for her name.
     • If she has an unusual name, you could ask for the name itself: "Isla is a beautiful name." Do you know what the origin is or what it means? "
     • If it is a common name, make the question more personal: "I have always liked the name Maartje. Were you named after someone, or do your parents just have good taste in names? "
     • As you can see, in both examples, the comment starts with a compliment and then asks the question. This is not strictly necessary, but using both a compliment and a question often produces a more powerful opening line.
2. Find the matches. Find out if you have anything in common with this girl, even if it's something relatively minor and insignificant. Paying attention to this common interest creates an immediate bond that could allow her to develop a friendly relationship with you.
   • If you have shared friends on Facebook, you can use that shared connection to start the conversation. For example: "I have noticed that you are friends with Alex. How did you meet? I've known him since I was little, and we even grew up in the same neighborhood. "
   • Likewise, if you know her in real life, you could then use your shared experiences in reality. For example: "You are in Mrs. Smit's fifth class, right? I'm in her eighth class. What do you think of her class? "
3. Make a comment in the moment. Recent events provide a shortcut to common ground as they affect or interest a wide variety of people. However, try to limit your topic to something that happens locally and focus on something she might be interested in.
   • If possible, limit it to something that happens in your nearest community. If she lives on the other side of the county, talk to her about something happening in the county. If she lives in your city or neighborhood, you can skip the national news and mention something that is happening near you.
   • Keep in mind that not every girl will be interested in every local topic. For example, she wouldn't care how your city's soccer team is doing this season if she's not interested in playing soccer. However, if her public profile indicates that she is a soccer fan, then talking about it can be a great way to start a conversation.
4. Respond to something she has. If she's holding something in her profile picture or any other recent photo, comment or ask a question about that item. By doing this, you are letting her know that you are paying attention to the small details, showing a greater degree of sincerity and interest.
   • Unleash your creativity. Ask her what she drinks, for example if she is sitting in a coffee shop with a cup in her hand. If she's wearing a quirky necklace, you can compliment the jewelry and ask her where she got it, on the pretext that you're looking for a present for your sister (assuming you have a sister, of course).
5. Give her a unique and genuine compliment. A little flattery can help you, but only if you play it smart. Stay away from generic and overused compliments. If possible, comment on a less conspicuous detail that you find really attractive.
   • Giving compliments on obvious features, such as tattoos or hairstyles, can seem insincere, even if you really mean what you're saying. Very striking features are complimented more often, so that the person who gives a compliment to them stands out less.
   • Also, don't give overly sexual compliments. In other words, don't start the conversation with a compliment about her breasts, hips, or butt.
   • Compliment her on the finer details: her outfit, her name, her interests, and so on. Personal compliments almost always work better than general compliments.
6. Don't be superficial. It's not always easy to find out about a girl's interests and personality through Facebook, especially if you aren't real friends yet. Making an effort to address her as a thinking and feeling person will usually work in your favor, and is usually more effective than focusing solely on her appearance.
   • Keep this tip in mind when using the other "opening sentence" suggestions. For example, the girl in question has a stunning smile, beautiful eyes and beautiful hair. However, if they have the book Pride and prejudice in her profile picture, then that book is the detail you need to discuss. Noticing something about the book she is holding shows her your interest in her likes and personality, which will give her a much more positive and lasting impression of you.
7. Be yourself. As banal as it may sound, you have to be yourself when starting and maintaining the conversation. Don't pretend to be different to impress her. Keeping up appearances is difficult, and once she realizes that, she may lose interest or lose faith in you.
   • It's easier to maintain a conversation when you start to be yourself. To come back to an earlier example, it might be better not to comment on the cup she is holding if you don't like coffee yourself, or the book she is holding if you don't like to read. If you start a conversation about something that doesn't really interest you, you probably don't have much to say and the conversation will soon be over.

Part 3 of 3: Part three: Considerations

1. Show respect. In simple words, don't be perverse, rude, or vulgar. Any girl with an ounce of self-esteem won't tolerate that kind of behavior. Play the role of the polite gentleman if you want her to respond to you in a positive way.
   • Don't treat her like an object, scold her if she doesn't respond the way you'd like, or talk about sex until there's clearly some mutual attraction and romantic interest. There is more to being respectful than just these three points, but at least following these basic manners is a good start.
2. Be careful with humor. You can open the conversation with a joke to break the ice, but the wrong joke can start the conversation in an excruciatingly wrong tone. Humor doesn't always show up when you're communicating digitally, so it's usually best to save it for when she gets on with your personality and sense of humor.
   • If you decide to start with a joke, stick to something safe. An obviously silly joke can work out well, and light self-mockery can also make her laugh. However, don't make bad jokes that can be easily misinterpreted.
3. Don't brag about yourself. Starting a conversation by talking about your good qualities will only make you appear selfish. As the conversation goes on, the girl will likely ask you questions about yourself, which is when you need to open up about the details of your own life.
   • Likewise, don't talk and act like you are "God's gift to women." Even if you're the most charming guy out there, no girl is obligated to like you. Do your best, but don't blame or insult her if she doesn't click.
4. Be patient. Even if you're hoping for some sort of relationship with this girl, don't start the conversation by asking her out. In fact, you should actually wait to get to know her over the course of several conversations before moving on to that stage.
   • As a general rule, you should wait for it to click mutually at some level. If and when you ask her out, do it as casually as possible. You don't even have to call it a "date" - saying you want to spend some time with her in person is usually the best way.
5. Leave jealousy. Don't ask her about other guys when you send her that first message. You will probably scare her if you become too obsessed with the other guys who talk to her and appear in her pictures.
   • Only ask her about the other guys in her life if you can do it naturally and as part of a different topic. For example, you can ask her how she knows a mutual friend, or ask her about the mixed group of friends she went to a concert with. The key here is to maintain the conversation about her and her experiences while keeping the boy's identity in second place.