Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Getting angry in a positive way
• Part 2 of 3: Controlling your anger
• Part 3 of 3: Direct your anger towards something else
• Tips
• Warnings

You can allow yourself to get angry without immediately turning into the Hulk. Whether you are struggling with anger issues or not, it is important to your physical and mental wellbeing to learn how to properly deal with your anger and use it to your advantage. Learn to understand your anger and transform it into a positive force in your life.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Getting angry in a positive way

1. Concentrate on the things you normally overlook. If you want to get angry to get motivated and learn to use your anger for positive change in your life, it's important to handle it the right way. The easiest way to piss yourself off? Worry about the little things.
   • Your boss usually puts work on your desk at the last minute, just as you are about to go home? If you usually grin sheepishly and put up with it, let some anger creep in now.
   • Your partner ignores you, doesn't communicate and is cool? Don't sweep it under the rug or make excuses for the behavior. Get angry.
   • A friend talks about your other friends behind their backs, chatting and gossiping all the time? Don't ignore bad behavior like this.
2. Always take things personally. The next time someone starts a sentence with, "Don't take this personally, just ..." just decline. Suppose everything is a personal attack or has an ulterior motive to motivate you.
   • Look not only at words, but also at actions. If someone constantly interrupts you, or forgets your name, or decides to ignore you for some reason, assume malicious intent.
3. Focus on your own cons. If you want to project your anger out, one way to motivate yourself can be to blame the circumstances. If you grew up in a working class family, use that to explain your inability to move forward and let it motivate yourself to work harder than those who grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth.
   • Also stay focused on the benefits of other people in the world. If someone goes to college you could never afford, use that to explain their success, rather than their skills. Stay focused on what other people have that you don't.
4. Focus on injustice you see in the world. Sometimes you just have to pay attention to what's going on around you to get furious. Pick up the newspaper, turn on the radio, and stay focused on stories of injustice in the world. It's all around you.
   • Search the internet for a documentary for a quick dose of global rage. Some classics are "The Act of Killing" or "Thin Blue Line".
5. Stop making excuses for angry outbursts. You don't always have control over the situations that make you angry, but you do have control over how you express your anger. Anger is something you can bring out in yourself, and you can learn to control it and start doing it today. Don't shy away from the problem and don't think that your anger is beyond your control or that you cannot take advantage of anger.

Part 2 of 3: Controlling your anger

1. Look at your anger as a tool you can use. Anger is like water. When used properly, it gives you great power and energy, channeling it to drive turbines and create electricity that could keep an entire city running. Uncontrolled, it creates tidal waves that destroy the same city. Learn to build your anger properly, and you can use that anger for good, constructive purposes, not to destroy small villages.
2. Set manageable goals for your anger. Anger doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition. You must have a manageable set of objectives to control the anger and use it in a productive way. Never try to stop getting angry. Don't choose to bottle up your anger, but to control the way your anger manifests itself.
   • If you yell when you are angry, make it a goal not to raise your voice when you are angry. Learn to communicate without shouting.
   • If you often bottle up your anger and suddenly release it on seemingly small things, make it a goal to process the things that make you angry before they gradually turn into anger.
   • However your anger manifests itself, the most unhealthy thing you can do is become violent towards yourself or others. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to hit things, break things or hit anyone.
3. Consider what causes your anger to flare up. What pisses you off? Try to identify and anticipate such situations, places, and people that make your blood boil so that you can learn to prepare and thus deal with your anger when it arises, and then channel that anger towards its most productive applications .
   • Dig slightly below the surface. If you say "your boss" sometimes makes you angry, think about when, where, and why. What does your boss emphasize that makes you angry? Try to understand what is happening.
   • Be as fair as possible. If you are angry because your boss has summoned you in front of the other employees, is that anger caused by your shame about your possible mistake, or because of the behavior of your boss? Could the whole reprisal have been completely unfounded?
4. Limit how quickly your anger flares and know your limits. Psychologist John Riskind suggests that the most dangerous element of anger is the feeling that it is accelerating and spiraling out of control. This feeling often causes people to do things that seem helpful in the immediate sense of the word, such as yelling at the person cutting you off in traffic, but that have a longer-lasting effect of making fun of your partner, a stranger and raising your blood pressure. Riskind assigns them the following corresponding values:
   • 120 km per hour and higher: boiling, explosive, violent ...
   • 100-120: fuming, furious, furious
   • 75-100: bitter, indignant, angry, angry
   • 45-75: agitated, upset, irritated, frustrated, angry
   • Below 45: calm and cool, peaceful, quiet
5. Put a rubber band around your wrist so that it is fairly tight. It's important to hit yourself right away to avoid and control a violent outburst. For many people who can quickly go 120 km per hour, a small pain reminder can be very helpful. Put a rubber band around your wrist and let it slap against your skin every time you boil with rage. Let this little reminder in the form of pain balance your thoughts and focus. You are stronger than your anger.
   • As your anger rises above normal speed limits, you will need more and more time to reduce and process that anger. Learn to rate your anger, then prepare to process it and start right away.
6. Get out of the situation for a moment, if necessary. In some cases, the best way to control your anger is to simply leave the room, leave the house, leave the office, and give yourself a chance to let off steam for a while. If someone looks up, curious about what you are doing, give an explanation that can make it clear not only to yourself but also to others what you are doing. Say something like:
   • "I'm fine, I just need some fresh air."
   • "I'm going for a walk, I'll be okay, I'll be right back".
   • "I'm a little frustrated, so I'll just go outside. Everything is fine.'
7. Take a deep breath. It is not a cliché for nothing. Deep breathing has been proven to reduce stress hormones and calm you down faster than anything else. Close your eyes and take five deep breaths, hold your breath for five seconds, then exhale slowly.
   • This may sound comical, but visualize your anger as a thick black smoke that you exhale every time. As you hold your breath, feel it building up, and feel the relief as you let it flow out of your body.
8. Handle the matter calmly, if you can. It's important not to avoid the things that make you angry, but to control outbursts and handle things in a calm and restrained manner. If you've slowed yourself down to a more manageable speed, you can do that.
   • Return to the meeting and privately tell your boss why you felt it was inappropriate to point out an error like that. Ask what you can do to avoid this situation next time. Use a calm, even tone.

Part 3 of 3: Direct your anger towards something else

1. Use your anger to make positive changes. Anger can be a powerful motivational tool. Michael Jordan used to hang negative comments from other players in his locker and use them as motivation, earning six NBA championships and a host of other accolades. Rather than let your anger bubble up and start throwing plates, use it to get things done.
   • If you get angry that another employee is constantly getting compliments while you are being ignored, put that angry energy into more and better work. Do so much work that it has to stand out.
   • If you get angry because of something more difficult to recognize or understand, such as feelings of frustration with your relationship, then you should focus on talking and discussing those feelings with the parties involved. You may need to make a major change, such as breaking up, if you feel like you are in an unchanging situation.
2. Get started. The best way to deal with anger is to get started with the work you have to do. Productive things you can do instead of letting the anger send you down an unproductive mud hole:
   • Cleaning the kitchen
   • Cleaning up your garage
   • Do homework
   • Bake something tasty
   • Hitting a punching bag in the gym
   • To write
3. Allow yourself to be emotional every now and then. Remember, it is never wrong to feel anger, it is only wrong to allow your anger to overwhelm your sensitivities and force you to do things that you know are wrong or inappropriate. Feeling that your anger is wrong will often force angry people to bottle up their anger and ultimately make it worse.
4. Get moving. In addition to being an excellent distraction from whatever it is that makes you angry, some exercise can be a great way to process anger and release your body from stress, increasing the production of endorphins that will relax you in the long run. It's hard to stay angry for long when you're too busy sweating. Do something that will keep you moving:
   • Basketballs
   • Boxing
   • To jog
   • Circuit training
5. Avoid self-defeating ways of dealing with anger. While it may seem like a cigarette or a glass of whiskey is a great relaxant, relying on self-destructing agents to get you through moments of anger isn't going to help you in the long run. Not to mention that alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs actually increase and amplify the physical effects of anger, such as blood pressure and heart disease.
6. Understand how anger affects your physical and emotional health. Everyone gets angry from time to time. Well managed, anger can be a motivational tool and a perfectly normal emotion. But for many people, that anger can quickly spiral out of control, which can be detrimental to your own physical and emotional well-being as well as that of others.
   • Severe stress and anger are often associated with an increase in cardiovascular disease, cholesterol levels, diabetes, immune system problems, insomnia and high blood pressure.
   • People who suffer from frequent outbursts of anger often report less sharp thinking, difficulty concentrating and more depression.

Tips

• Avoid breaking things as you may regret it afterwards once you calm down.
• Shout into a pillow so as not to upset anyone.

Warnings

• Don't get too angry or your blood vessels could be damaged or burst.
• Don't get mad at anyone. Just go to your room and yell into your pillow.