Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Think about the risks of falling in love in the workplace
• Part 2 of 3: Looking for support to get over your crush
• Part 3 of 3: Dealing with emotions caused by falling in love
• Tips

Letting go of a crush isn't easy, especially if this person is someone you see every day: a colleague. Being in love with a colleague can cause a lot of stress and can complicate matters in the workplace. However, you can overcome this by understanding the potential risks of going through with a crush, seeking support, and acknowledging your feelings.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Think about the risks of falling in love in the workplace

1. Read company policy. If the company where you work discourages or prohibits personal relationships between colleagues and you don't want to jeopardize your job, remind yourself of your priorities. You will probably decide that the crush is not worth risking your job.
   • Read your company's workplace rules (may be available from the human resources department, if any) regarding personal relationships. Understanding the exact consequences of workplace romance can be enough motivation for you to end the crush.
   • There may also be legal snags to a work romance, depending on sexual harassment laws in your country.
2. Be aware of the risks of workplace gossip. If you have a crush on someone and colleagues notice it, gossip can spread quickly. This can even be the case if you just talk about your crush, without committing any action to it. Gossip can give you an unprofessional reputation, and it can also lower your productivity and workplace morale. If you are concerned about these risks, it is best not to talk about your crush at work, or with colleagues outside of work.
3. Be aware of the social risks when trying to hook up with a coworker. If you do try to hook up with a coworker, there can be serious social consequences whether or not your crush reciprocates your feelings. Realizing these risks can be enough to stop the crush. Potential problems include:
   • Being rejected by your crush
   • A persistent awkward situation when your crush doesn't respond positively, or if he or she is positive at first, but the relationship doesn't work out in the end
   • Putting pressure on your crush if you have a leadership position at work
   • Loss of credibility among your colleagues, who find your behavior unprofessional or think you are giving preferential treatment to the colleague you are in love with
4. Think about the consequences of a relationship that doesn't work. Even if you want to pick up the coworker, it is still worth thinking about all the possible outcomes, good or bad. It's possible that the relationship will work in the long run, but if it doesn't, the following can happen:
   • The relationship may go well at first, but then it falls apart.
   • If the relationship is not successful or even breaks down, you will have to deal with meeting your ex at work, maybe with a promotion, etc. This can cause a lot of stress.
   • If the relationship isn't working, and you or your crush feels pressure to quit, this creates even more problems.

Part 2 of 3: Looking for support to get over your crush

1. Talk to a friend about the situation. Confiding in someone else about your dilemma can help ease a crush on a colleague that you don't want to follow through. In addition to the spiritual support of a listening ear, your friend may also be able to give you advice.
   • If you are uncomfortable talking to someone in your workplace about your loved one, or if you are concerned about the spread of workplace gossip, talk to a friend who has nothing to do with your job.
2. Expand your non-work social life. You may have developed a crush on a coworker because you haven't had enough opportunities to form a romantic relationship with someone outside of work. If you've worked too much or avoided social contact, set aside some time for yourself to hang out with friends after work and do things that you enjoy. Look for opportunities to meet people outside of work, as this can make you less interested in that coworker you have a crush on.
3. Focus on positive distraction. When we are in love with someone, they often take up all of our attention because we allow this to happen. If you manage to think about other things, it will be much easier to get over the crush and let it go.
   • While working, focus on your duties and professional dealings with colleagues. Even such simple things as taking the time to decorate your office, caring for a plant on your desk, or listening to your favorite music while you work can be a positive distraction from your loved one.
   • In addition to work, you can keep yourself from swooning over your crush by focusing on other things you want to get started with. Go to the gym more often, spend more time on a hobby, and even cleaning your house (if you have put it off) can serve as a positive distraction.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with emotions caused by falling in love

1. Distinguish between fantasy and reality. A crush means that there is an attraction, but it can also get wrapped up in the fantasy of what life would be like if you were with your crush. Separating fantasies from attraction can help put your crush into perspective.
   • Fantasy focuses on the past and the future. Reality is focused on the present.
   • Focus on the life you are living now, rather than the life you would like to have.
2. Realize that you don't always have to act on your feelings. It is possible to have feelings for someone, including a colleague, without ever acting on them. If you are confident that you can keep your work life and love life separate, it is possible to deal with a crush on a co-worker by admitting the reality of your feelings, while at the same time declaring to yourself that you are not there. will act upon.
   • Sometimes a workplace crush can even be beneficial. For example, it can ensure that you dress better, work harder or participate more in the company.
3. Remember that the grass is not always greener elsewhere. Sometimes your crush is mainly fantasy. It may seem like you would like to follow through on a crush, but in reality it's just that your crush is unavailable or a forbidden fruit that creates the appeal. Perhaps you can put the crush on you by reminding yourself that you are satisfied with your current life, and that giving effect to your crush isn't necessarily a dream come true.
4. Set boundaries. If you are determined not to engage in workplace romance (so as not to jeopardize your job or for any other reason), establish rules to stave off any crush. For example, only talk to your crush when there are other people around to avoid crossing a line. Often times, setting boundaries will make it easier to get rid of stress and runaway emotions.
5. Give yourself time. Don't expect to get over your crush immediately. Give yourself enough time to process your feelings and decide how you want to proceed. Don't worry if it takes time to get that coworker out of your mind.

Tips

• If you really can't stop thinking about that coworker, then a more abrupt change can help. If it is possible at your workplace, you could ask to be transferred to another (shift) service or location (if applicable) as a way of staying away from your loved one.