Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Responding to verbal attacks
• Method 2 of 3: Take the appropriate action
• Method 3 of 3: Deal With Your Emotional Needs

Verbal attacks can be encountered in many areas of life, for example, at school, at work, or in your own social environment. Low-level insults, sarcastic remarks or downright malicious comments - how to deal with this? Protect yourself from verbal attacks by staying calm and fighting back. Then take the necessary steps to prevent repeated attacks. Also, follow some strategies to take care of yourself after dealing with verbal attacks.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Responding to verbal attacks

1. 1 Keep calm. The whole point of the abuser's verbal attacks is to unsettle you, so don't give him that much pleasure. Remain calm, cool, and collected in spite of any ridicule or insults. To do this, you can breathe deeply, count to yourself, or mentally repeat affirmations (positive statements), for example: "I will control myself."
2. 2 Do not attach too much importance to attacks. Ignoring the abuser is a good option. An even more powerful answer, however, is to let the person know that the comment doesn't bother you.
   • Make eye contact with the person, then shake your head and look away.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Klare Heston, LCSW

   
   
   Licensed Social Worker Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. She has experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision, and received her Master's degree in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also completed a two-year continuing education course at the Cleveland Institute of Gestalt Therapy and is certified in family therapy, supervision, mediation and trauma therapy.

   Klare Heston, LCSW
   Licensed social worker

   Sometimes it's best to just walk away. Clinical Social Worker Claire Heston says, “When verbal attacks turn into insults, it's best not to argue with the person and prove something to them, but just walk away. It is unlikely that it will be possible to rationally resist such a situation. Say something like this: 'Let's talk when you calm down and can think more rationally.'

   
   
3. 3 Agree with him if it's true. Most verbal attacks are carried out because the person is hoping to offend you. If there is some truth in his comment, catch the attacker by surprise by agreeing with him. When you agree to a statement, it loses its power and the aggressor loses its power.
   • For example, if a person says: “You are fat,” you can answer: “You are right. I'm fat".
4. 4 Defeat the attack. Don't take a defensive position. Better to put the abuser in a quandary by criticizing his remark. Analyze his statements and ask questions.
   • For example, a person says, "You are stupid." You might say, “Wow, stupid is a strong word. Why are you trying to insult me? "
   • However, if the abuser's behavior gets out of control or if you feel unsafe, do not contact him. Just walk away.
5. 5 Play the role of a good parent. If you witness a verbal attack on another person, help him defend himself by questioning the decency of the offender. In response to his role as a “bad parent,” adopt the image of an overly kind parent.
   • For example, if the aggressor calls your friend names, you can say: “Anton, cursing is not to your face. Show everyone that a decent person is hiding somewhere inside you. "
   • Most likely, he will become ashamed of his behavior, and he will apologize.

Method 2 of 3: Take the appropriate action

1. 1 Leave if you feel threatened. If verbal attacks make you feel physically in danger, do not try to interact further with the bully. Leave the environment immediately and head to a public place where there are other people.
2. 2 Tell the person in power about this. If you are a school student, tell your teacher, coach, or school counselor about the attacks. If verbal attacks occur at work, talk to your boss or HR manager. The point is to get the message across to a government official who can stop the bullying.
   • If the first person you reported verbal attacks doesn't take action, keep telling others until something changes.
3. 3 End your relationship with the aggressor. Sometimes we are verbally offended by people who care about us. Friends or family members may insult you or make subtle remarks that hurt your feelings. If this happens, distance yourself from the person.
   • If possible, end the relationship and avoid the person completely.
   • If you cannot completely eliminate him from your life, take steps to limit the amount of contact with him. Also, try not to be alone with him as much as possible.
4. 4 Draw boundaries. You don't have to play the victim role simply because someone is bullying you. Stand up for yourself and let the person know that you will not tolerate verbal attacks. To do this, strengthen your personal boundaries.
   • For example, tell the person, “I refuse to tolerate insults. If you can't speak to me respectfully, don't speak to me at all. " Or: “I will not tolerate verbal attacks. If you continue, I'll be gone. "
   • You can also add: "You are only wasting your time because only weak people offend others."

Method 3 of 3: Deal With Your Emotional Needs

1. 1 Identify your strengths. Verbal attacks can make you doubt yourself. The best way to overcome these doubts and boost your self-confidence is to acknowledge your strengths. To do this, you can reflect on your outstanding character traits and skills. If you find it difficult to identify your strengths, ask a friend.
   • Write down your strengths on a piece of paper. At the beginning of each day, read them aloud and put "I ..." in front of each one.
   • For example: "I am a great guitarist" - or: "I am kind to other people." Go through the list daily.
2. 2 Surround yourself with people who support you. Counteract the negative effects of verbal attacks by spending time with the right people. Try to surround yourself with positive and supportive people who value the qualities you possess.
   • Spend less time with negative, toxic people who criticize you or force you to develop bad habits.
3. 3 Forgive the offender. One way to counteract verbal attacks is to practice compassion. Of course, it's not easy to do this with someone who says bad things about you. But don't look at it as a favor to him. Do it for yourself.
   • By melting resentment and anger, you will only suffer. Instead, make the decision to let go of these feelings and forgive the abuser.
   • Write him a letter describing his bullying and your feelings. Express whatever you would like to say to the person. Read the letter out loud. Then say, "Despite all this, I forgive you." Then destroy the letter and any negative feelings associated with it.