Content

• Steps
• Tips

Restoring a marriage takes time and attention to your spouse. This process really requires the efforts of both parties. If you are looking for tips for restoring your marriage, read the following steps.

Steps

1. 1 Sit down with your spouse and talk about some rules. If you are having problems in your marriage, but you both want to return to the old relationship, establish some ways that you can use to resolve your conflicts. Often this time coincides with the moments of struggle when the couple destroys their relationship. If both of you are serious about building your marriage relationship, then you should be prepared to find ways to improve some of the negative aspects of your life.
2. 2 Don't be so concerned about always getting the upper hand. Ask yourself: is it really so important for you to prove that it is you who are right in the dispute. If you feel that proving that you are right will benefit the relationship, then present your excuse in a calm manner. If it is important for you to prove that you are right only for your own benefit and this most likely becomes the cause of the conflict, try to get rid of the desire to achieve the truth at any cost and work to correct the situation.
3. 3 Take a moment to calm down if the situation has reached a boiling point. If you find that most disagreements easily turn into heated arguments, then just take your mind off the situation. Agree with your husband that, as an argument, you or he can afford time out. Also emphasize that during a timeout, neither you nor your spouse should feel rejected. For example, set your timeout time. If you come to an agreement when everything is calm, you can manage and control your differences.
4. 4 Be open about your emotions. You must agree to be able to reveal your emotions. Therefore, if you are angry about something really important, then you should be able to open up to your soul mate, explaining the situation and the reasons for your feelings. In turn, the spouse should acknowledge these emotions and promise to reflect on them. You can agree or disagree with your excuses, but, in any case, you need to come to some conclusion that will satisfy the two of you.
5. 5 Never blame. In conversation, avoid blaming the other person or twisting other people's words. The word "we" is usually more appropriate in these situations, and your spouse will not feel like you are attacking or criticizing. For example, "we should work harder to be kinder to each other" is more likely to be received better than "you should try to be kinder to me."
6. 6 Focus on self-improvement, not fixing your husband / wife. Think of all the ways you can make your marriage better and start making those changes a reality. Just as your spouse cannot force you to change, you cannot change him / her. Someone who recognizes the success their partner has made in improving their marriage is more likely to start working to become a better person.
7. 7 Don't appeal to the past. If there was a conflict in the past that has not yet been resolved, then resolve it and then let it go.If you don't forgive each other for past traumas, you will never be able to move forward in your marriage.
8. 8 Accept the person for who they are if you want to stay married. You cannot change your partner. If you decide that you want to stay together, then you must acknowledge this person as a whole and not complain about him. Think about all the good and bad qualities of a husband / wife, and acknowledge that all bad things are nothing more than a bad habit. Of course, this does not apply to family infidelity or abuse.
9. 9 Start dating again. You've probably changed over the years, so take the time to get to know your spouse better. These meetings will remind you why you fell in love with this person in the first place. Create a hobby that both of you can do and enjoy, such as ballroom dancing, bowling, or a cooking class.

Tips

• Find the relationship. Hold hands, shop or sit side by side on the couch while watching TV, look for opportunities to touch. Even a casual hug while walking into the gym can help rebuild your marriage.