Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to end a relationship
• Method 2 of 3: How to Maintain a Relationship
• Method 3 of 3: How to Recognize Enemy Friend

Perhaps close communication with a large company of friends or a long relationship with a friend whose society cannot be avoided led to the fact that you have an enemy friend. Such people usually pretend to be friends, but do strange and unpleasant things that cannot be called accidental. Decide whether to continue your friendship with such a person. To recognize an enemy friend, evaluate his actions and your feelings for the person.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to end a relationship

1. 1 Talk to a real friend you trust. If you are not sure if a particular person is a friend or foe, share your concerns with a friend you trust one hundred percent. Perhaps he can help you see the situation in a new light and understand the value of a relationship with an enemy friend.
   • Make sure the person does not reveal the content of your conversation to an enemy friend.
2. 2 Proceed with caution and do not chop off the shoulder. Choose a cross between ending a toxic friendship and open conflict - distance yourself from the person without quarrels and reproaches. If you do not be rude and do not blame the enemy friend, then the situation will not turn into a scandal and no one will harbor resentment against each other. For such an end to the relationship, you can say:
   • “We were friends, but I think we don't influence each other very well. Perhaps we'd better stop communicating. "
   • "I think we'd better stop communicating for a while."
3. 3 Distance yourself from the person if you are not ready to speak directly. If you do not like quarreling with people, but do not want to continue a relationship with an enemy friend, then gradually move away from him. This will make a smart decision, but avoid having to discuss the reasons.
   • Gradually start making fewer and fewer meetings until the person is no longer a part of your life. Take your time to respond to messages and keep yourself busy so that you don't have time to communicate with your enemy friend.
4. 4 Discuss the situation directly. If you feel comfortable talking about issues directly, then talk to an enemy friend to get rid of a heavy burden. Don't show your vulnerability and frustration. Stick to the facts and communicate how the person's actions make you feel. Examples of phrases:
   • “I was extremely embarrassed when you told the whole dance class that my costume looked awkward. Was it on purpose? "
   • “I was offended by your words that I am too absent-minded and easily distracted to become a good writer. I know that you wanted to joke, but it turned out that you laughed at me. "
5. 5 Be prepared for your enemy friend to be surprised or to deny the situation. By directly expressing your feelings, you are actually forcing the person to admit their sins or completely deny them.
   • If the person denies the accusations or becomes angry and refuses to discuss the problem, then they will most likely continue to behave inappropriately.
   • Either way, if the person starts to get angry, you probably don't need to stay in touch with them. If anything, you told the truth and now you can focus on healthy relationships with other people.
6. 6 Be sad and move forward. It's okay to be angry, sad, or even missing the person at first, but gradually let go of those feelings so you can move forward in a positive direction. Do some introspection and consider if you are a good friend. Consider the qualities you want to see in your friends. Strive to become the kind of person you would like to be friends with.
   • Nobody is perfect, so sometimes you can act like friend-foe too. Don't be fooled and try to change so that you can build strong and healthy relationships in the future.

Method 2 of 3: How to Maintain a Relationship

1. 1 Set and keep boundaries. If you want to maintain a friendship with a person, then you need to determine the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Then tell your friend about these boundaries. Don't be fooled and be direct about your decision.
   • For example, if you are not ready to tolerate rude remarks, then say: "If you say unpleasant things about my appearance, then we will stop talking and I will leave."
   • If a person violates boundaries, then implement the voiced consequences. For example, if you promised to leave in case of unpleasant remarks about your appearance, then get up and leave!
   • If a person has violated the boundaries, then do not forget to inform him about it.
2. 2 Don't gossip about your enemy friends. It is best not to tell anyone about the “hostile” aspect of your relationship. Sometimes you really want to share your thoughts with other friends, but you shouldn't stoop to the level of friend-enemy. If you want to keep the relationship going, rumors and gossip will only spoil everything.
   • Your exemplary behavior will not allow a person to get between you and real friends.This way they will notice the difference and understand who they can really trust.
3. 3 Keep calm and control yourself. You do not need to emotionally react to rude actions in order to prevent your friend-enemy from getting the desired pleasure. Don't lose your head and act as if nothing bothers you. Do not respond to the abuser so that your mutual friends can see your kindness.
4. 4 Don't be influenced by negativity. Resist the words and actions of an enemy friend to avoid problems.
   • If your enemy friend regularly cancels plans, then always have a backup plan.
   • If you don’t share the person’s passion, then it’s best not to discuss this topic with him.
   • If the person is always trying to prove that they are right, ask the question about what you are not ready to agree with so as not to create an argument.
5. 5 Take a look at the situation through the eyes of a human. It will be easier for you to get along with an enemy friend if you look at the situation through his eyes. Perhaps he has reasons to behave in this way, which are not related to you personally. This will not justify being rude, but it will help you perceive the person's words less painfully.
   • Perhaps the person has problems at home, and he does not know how to deal with stress in other ways.
   • Also, people often try to hide their own insecurity behind rude behavior.

Method 3 of 3: How to Recognize Enemy Friend

1. 1 Destructive criticism. If a person expresses his disagreement with you in such a way that you feel guilty or begin to feel ashamed of yourself, calls you names or makes personal attacks, then such criticism is destructive. Loyal friends may disagree with you, but they will make constructive comments, provide nurturing advice, and offer help without judging you.
   • Enemy friends often hide destructive criticism behind a mask of humor.
   • They can make negative or critical comments about your achievements and luck, and blame you for their troubles and failures.
2. 2 Lack of attention. True friends always remember your desires and needs, while enemy friends rarely try to do anything for you.
   • For example, if you became a vegetarian a few years ago, and a person invited you to barbecue, and there is nothing vegetarian on the table, then such behavior is a deliberate inattention to your needs.
3. 3 A sudden and persistent interest in you. It's not always obvious, but if a person pays a lot of attention to you, shares secrets and asks personal questions right after they meet, they are most likely not doing it out of good intentions. This obsession is a signal of danger.
   • Enemy friends are trying to get closer to you as soon as possible in order to tire you with their company.
   • Perhaps the person craves reciprocal attention.
4. 4 Questionable compliments. Such people are masters of dubious compliments, which may seem like praise, but in fact turn out to be insults. If you have been in such a situation, then take a closer look at the person.
   • For example, they may say to you, “I like it when you wash your hair. So at least they look beautiful. " It is assumed that otherwise you look bad.
5. 5 Assess your feelings after interacting with the person. If you need to recognize a friend-enemy, you should listen to your intuition. How do you feel after the meeting? Feelings will help you understand the nature of your relationship.
   • If you are inspired in the presence of a person, then he is hardly your enemy.
   • If after the meeting you are devastated and doubt yourself, then you have a friend-enemy.