How to deal with a gloomy teenager

Video: | предыстория АВ | 13 карт | (sad teenagers) |

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 5: Understand the Causes of Sullenness
Method 2 of 5: Change Negative Behavior
Method 3 of 5: Offer support
Method 4 of 5: Don't Forget Yourself
Method 5 of 5: Learn to Recognize Signs of More Serious Problems
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Youth is a difficult period for both children and their parents. It is often difficult for parents to cope with the transformation of a sweet and kind child into a hot-tempered and rebellious teenager. It is not uncommon for teens to feel overwhelmed by the fact that their parents do not understand the cauldron of hormones, pressure and growing independence in which they cook. Try to be aware of what your child has to face in adolescence. This will allow you to use a set of tactics that will reward your child and guide them in the right direction towards adulthood.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: Understand the Causes of Sullenness

1 Recognize that hormones have a profound effect on your mood. Your child's sullenness has completely physiological roots. Maturity hormones have an overwhelming chemical effect on the developing brain of a child.
- Adult hormones affect adolescents differently. For example, the hormone THP causes an adult to feel calm, while a teenager will feel heightened anxiety.
2 Remember, your teen's brain continues to develop. The frontal lobe of the brain (responsible for controlling impulses, judging and making decisions) fully completes its development only by the age of twenty.The adolescent brain is literally under construction, even if the rest of the body appears to be "grown-up."
3 Remember that the child does not like being gloomy. He tries to cope with the flow of hormonal changes, body growth, personality development, pressure from friends and a growing sense of independence. No wonder this affects behavior! A teenager may feel frustrated, confused, and even fearful as a result of the changes in their life. Your child needs your determination and support, even if they say something completely different out loud.
4 Think back to your teenage years. One of the best ways to understand a teenager is to remember your own youth. Think about your triumphs and battles, about the reactions of your parents.

Method 2 of 5: Change Negative Behavior

1 Remain calm and consistent. It is hormones that make teens be guided by emotions instead of logic. An influx of emotions can easily unsettle a fragile brain. Your child needs you to be consistent and calm for the greater good.
2 Set clear boundaries for behavior and communication. Develop rules with your child. This will show respect for the teenager's growing independence and be able to say that he was involved in the development of the rules, so you must adhere to them too. Despite the possible grumbling, awareness of boundaries can help your teen feel safe.
- Establish and hold accountable for bad behavior, but keep the list of rules and penalties as short as possible. Choose your top concerns.
- Make peace. If a teenager is trying to keep himself within limits, then close your eyes to such minor irritations as shrugs, raised eyebrows, or a bored look.
- Sometimes teenagers can be unwittingly cocky. Don't forget that their brains continue to develop. Calmly ask what they mean. For example: “This comment sounded rather rude. Did you mean to insult me? "
3 Focus on the child's behavior rather than personality and character. Express disapproval of bad behavior, but do not blame its personality. Your child is not stupid, even if his decision to slam the door and subsequently injure his sister's fingers was not the best. You don't have to dispute that he is a good person, but at the same time explain why such behavior is unacceptable.

Method 3 of 5: Offer support

1 Spend time together. Take time to talk when your child is interested in it. So, you can drive your daughter to school and talk along the way; sometimes it is easier to talk if you are not sitting opposite each other.
2 Take an interest in your teen's life. Sometimes it will be easier and sometimes more difficult, but always try to be interested in how your child is living. Follow the results of the sports team or come to the performances at the school.
- Try to learn one of the child's hobbies to stay on the same wavelength. If your son loves football, then try to be interested in the state of affairs in his favorite championship. The child should feel the freedom of their interests, but if you are in the know, then you will have another common topic for daily conversations.
- Engage your child in stress-relieving activities such as sports or watching a funny movie.
3 Let your teen be alone. He needs time to comprehend the changes that are happening to him.
- Invite your child to keep a journal.
- Let your teenager experience their own experiences. This will show that he can make decisions and that you trust his judgment.
4 Instill faith in yourself. In the process of forming an independent personality, adolescents simply need positive motivation in large quantities. Say that you are proud of him. Praise good behavior. Even in a heated argument, use positive terms (“I know that the teacher is simply amazed at your success in chemistry.Let's set the time right so that you can continue preparing for the exams and be able to see your friends ”).
- Use descriptive praise. Speak to the point: “I love how you helped your little brother catch the ball. He was incredibly proud of himself and it's all thanks to you. ”
- Your child needs to see that you know and appreciate their opinion.
5 Find a mentor for your child. This approach will come to the rescue if your relationship is very tense. A reliable adult (aunt, uncle, family friend) can support your child during a difficult period.
- Even with a good and trusting relationship, a mentor can provide additional support.
6 Show your love. It is possible that the teenager is behaving impartially. It may even seem to him that he does not deserve love. Parents should love the child in spite of everything. Leave notes, hug, or talk to him out loud every day.

Method 4 of 5: Don't Forget Yourself

1 Remember that you are a role model. If a child sees that you mistreat other people or have addictions (alcoholism, smoking, drugs), then it is unreasonable to criticize his behavior.
2 Remember your basic needs. It will be easier for you to cope with parenting as a teenager if you get enough rest, eat right, and exercise regularly.
3 Take breaks. You should take time each day to relax and take a break from parenting. Get up early, take a walk, or tell the children that you will read one chapter of the book and visit them again in a few minutes. Try to find balance, because the children repeat everything after you.
4 Get support. Discuss parenting with a friend or partner. No wonder they say that a child is brought up by the whole world; people can provide valuable insight, advice, or simply listen to your concerns and concerns.
- If you find it difficult to cope, then try to find a support group. Talk to your school counselor or community doctor.
5 Monitor your mental health. Intense tension leads to depression and anxiety. If you are concerned about such problems, then see your doctor.

Method 5 of 5: Learn to Recognize Signs of More Serious Problems

1 Learn to distinguish between a gloomy mood and outbursts of anger. Almost all gloomy teens are simply trying to cope with the changes that are taking place in their lives. But in some cases, they may feel angry. If you notice the following signs of dangerous anger, it is best to see a therapist immediately:
- Cries for help are statements that the child is about to harm himself.
- The extreme degree of belonging to a group or community. If a teenager expresses a desire to "fight" with other groups, then he is visited by very dangerous thoughts.
- Complete lack of communication. It is not surprising if you find it difficult to communicate with a teenager, but you should sound the alarm if he stops all communication with you or his peers. This is a sign of alienation.
- Violence. Watch out for behavior such as pugnaciousness or vandalism.
- Loss of interest in learning and activities that used to bring joy to the child. It is one thing if a child has moved to high school and decided that he is tired of playing football, but it is quite another if a teenager stops identifying with others and can harm them.
- Substance abuse, especially when combined with the above behavior. Remember that substance abuse can manifest itself as misusing common things - sniffing glue or stealing prescription drugs from the medicine cabinet.
2 Learn to identify when your child is suffering from depression. The presence of the following signs may indicate the need for treatment for depression:
- Constant depressed or sad mood.
- Almost complete breakdown.
- Lack of interest or motivation.
- Unwillingness to do things that brought joy.
- Distance from family or friends.
- Feelings of anger, irritability, or anxiety.
- Inability to concentrate.
- Significant change in weight (gain or decrease).
- Significant changes in sleep patterns from insomnia to constant sleepiness.
- Feelings of guilt or worthlessness.
- Thoughts of death or suicide.
- Decreased academic performance.
3 Take action if there is a serious concern. Your actions will depend on the degree of concern.
- If your child is exhibiting harmful behaviors, including anger or depression, it is best to tell him about the problem rather than blame it. Use books and articles on the internet. This will show respect and your faith that the child can make the right decision on his own.
- If you think your teen might be harming himself or others, seek help right away. Discuss the problem with your local doctor, psychotherapist, or school psychologist.