How to deal with an ex who looks happy after a breakup

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 3: Communicate correctly with your ex
Method 2 of 3: Focus on yourself
Method 3 of 3: Moving forward after breaking up

Breaking up is an ordeal for both partners, as unresolved problems or deep feelings may remain. You may become even more upset when you see your partner react to the breakup in your relationship. It may seem to you that he is not at all worried about what happened, while you are experiencing real mental anguish. Most likely, you are asking questions related to the breakup. How can you deal with the painful feelings you have about a breakup or your ex acting like nothing had happened? How to overcome pain and continue living a fulfilling life? Remember, not only can you pretend everything is okay, you can actually deal with negative emotions and feelings and become a happy person again. Learn to communicate properly with an ex-partner who you think looks happy after breaking up. Focus on yourself and your needs. Move forward to find peace of mind and happiness again.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Communicate correctly with your ex

1 Accept the idea that your ex is doing well after the breakup. If you are in pain after breaking up, it is likely that you have a hard time agreeing and accepting that your ex is acting as if nothing had happened. Perhaps it would be easier for you if this person suffered as you do. However, if your partner is not experiencing such mental anguish, you just have to admit this fact and come to terms with it. This will make it easier for you to deal with your feelings and continue to maintain a relationship with your ex.
- If someone tells you, or you can see for yourself that your ex is living a normal life and is not worried about the breakup, just try to be happy for him. For example, if your friend says, “Andrew behaves like nothing happened. He still looks happy! ”, You can say,“ This is very good! I'm glad he's happy. "
- If you are not ready to hear from your ex that he is happy without you, you should not ask him about it. Most likely, you will not be pleased with his answer.
- Remember that a person can simply pretend to be happy. In fact, he may also have painful feelings. Maybe he just doesn't want you to know how upset he is.
SPECIALIST'S ADVICE
Amy chan

Relationship Coach Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after a relationship ends. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of people in just 2 years of work, and the camp has been noted by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.
Amy chan
Relationship coach
Letting go of the situation is the only way to heal. Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, says: “When you're breaking up hard, things can get worse if you see your ex is doing great. It hurts even more if he is already dating someone. You have every right to feel pain, sadness, anger, and even contempt. But if you want to move on, you need to direct your energy towards yourself, and not towards the person who offended you.».
2 Give him some space. If the person by their appearance shows that the breakup did not affect him in any way, keep him at a distance. Of course, you shouldn't avoid all contact with him. However, if possible, keep your communication to a minimum.
- Do not view his photos and posts on social networks. You shouldn't check his Facebook profile every day to see if there is any information about his new relationship.
- Don't call or text your ex unless you have a reason to do so.For example, if you have children in common, you have a legal right to call your ex. However, do not call if you just saw this person's favorite car.
SPECIALIST'S ADVICE
Amy chan
Relationship Coach Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after a relationship ends. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of people in just 2 years of work, and the camp has been noted by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.
Amy chan
Relationship coach
Getting over a breakup can be easier by avoiding contact. Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, says, "Before revisiting old photos or checking your ex's Instagram, ask yourself, 'Am I doing good to myself right now?' You already know the answer. When you've only recently broken up, the less contact you have, the easier it will be for you to move on. "
3 Show respect. Depending on the circumstances that led to the breakup, you may experience anger and resentment towards your ex. If you are chatting with this person and you see that he is not very upset about what happened, behave with respect. You should also show respect when you talk to other people about your ex.
- Don't scream, cry, or throw a tantrum when you're talking to your ex. For example, don't insult this person.
- Speak calmly and confidently with your ex. When you meet, just say hello to him.
- Don't gossip or speak negatively about your ex. Say something positive or at least neutral about this person. For example, you might say, “Great!” If someone tells you that your ex is still happy.

Method 2 of 3: Focus on yourself

1 Work to improve your self-esteem. By focusing on yourself and working on your self-esteem, it will be easier for you to cope with your feelings, as well as the thought that your ex is not worried about the breakup. Working to improve your self-esteem can help you get your thoughts and feelings in order and experience happiness again, just like your ex.
- List your strengths. Include positive characteristics related to your appearance, abilities, and qualities on your list.
- Talk to yourself in a positive way. For example, go to the mirror and say to yourself, "I am a wonderful person who has many great qualities."
2 Take care of your health. If you have to go through a relationship breakup, be sure to take care of your health and well-being. It will be more difficult for you to cope with a difficult situation if you are feeling unwell, hungry or tired.
- Avoid unhealthy foods. Eat a balanced diet instead.
- Sleep 6-8 hours every night. Start getting ready for bed an hour before your expected bedtime.
- Exercise regularly. For example, start running, swimming, or joining a sports team.
- Don't use drugs or alcohol to relax.
3 Express your feelings. It will be easier for you to deal with your feelings if you don't keep them to yourself. Otherwise, you will experience stress and it will be difficult for you to deal with your feelings after the breakup. Therefore, express your feelings in the right way. Talk to friends and family about your feelings.
- Talk to someone close to you about your feelings. For example, you might say, “Could you talk to me a little? I want to share my feelings about the breakup. "
- Don't talk to your ex about your feelings.This person may not want to communicate with you, or they may not react the way you would like.
- Express your feelings creatively. For example, write a song, verse, or paint a picture of how you are feeling.
4 Develop your interests. Perhaps, when you were still in a relationship with this person, you abandoned your favorite activities, since you devoted all your time to your partner. It will be easier for you to connect with an ex who looks happy after the breakup if you do what you enjoy doing.
- Make a list of the activities and events you want to participate in. Pick one event from the list and learn more about how you can participate.
- Make a list of the skills and talents you want to develop and write down how you can achieve your goal. For example, you might have fencing lessons on your list.

Method 3 of 3: Moving forward after breaking up

1 Reconnect with family and friends. The best thing you can do to recover from a breakup is to spend time with loved ones. Resume communication with loved ones who can provide you with the support you need. They can also help you come to terms with the fact that your ex is not upset about what happened.
- Spend time together. Sometimes you can spend time without planning ahead of time what you will do or where you will go. You can just enjoy each other's presence.
- If your friends or relatives invite you somewhere, do not refuse them. You can have fun and meet new people.
2 Learn important lessons. Breaking up is a difficult process, and most likely you are very upset about what happened. Try looking at situations from a different angle to relieve your heartache. Look at breaking up as a valuable experience and an opportunity to improve your personality. Reflect on this situation in order to learn something new about yourself and to prevent a similar development of events when you build a new relationship.
- For example, think about why your relationship ended. Once you've identified the cause, do your best to improve and prevent this from happening in the future.
3 Keep a diary. Keeping a journal can help you deal with painful feelings and respond appropriately to the fact that your ex is not worried about what happened. A journal will give you the opportunity to express your feelings, organize your thoughts, and set goals for yourself.
- Regularly write in your diary about how you feel and how you feel about your ex.
- Write down goals and practical steps you can take after breaking up. For example, you might write, "One of my goals is to save money that I spent on my ex."
4 Get help if needed. A breakup can lead to depression, anxiety, and intense sadness. However, you can get help to help you heal faster after a breakup. Get help from a psychologist to get through this difficult period of time.
- The psychologist may ask you in detail about your former relationship, such as what it was like, how long it lasted, and whether your feelings were mutual.
- During this time, try to keep in touch with friends and family.
5 Be patient. Regardless of the reason for the breakup or the reaction of your partner to the breakup, remember that it takes time to get through a difficult period for you. It takes time to cope with your feelings and calmly react to the fact that your ex is acting as if nothing had happened.
- Don't let anyone tell you that you've been grieving for too long. Give yourself as much time as you need to get back to normal.
- Remind yourself that you need time. Tell yourself, "There is no time frame when it comes to feelings, so I don't need to rush."
- Consider consulting a professional if you have been having trouble dealing with your feelings for a long time.