Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Understand Your Behavior Patterns
• Method 2 of 3: Break down barriers
• Method 3 of 3: Move step by step
• Tips

It can be difficult for shy people to enjoy life. They may feel isolated or limited in their abilities. Anyone can overcome their shyness. Remember that some people are naturally shy, but don't let that limit your life. By taking some steps to overcome shyness, you can become a more outgoing person.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Understand Your Behavior Patterns

1. 1 Understand how your shyness works. It can manifest itself in different ways and even take several forms, and knowing this will help you direct your efforts to combat it. Only experienced professionals can diagnose the psychological conditions of your shyness, so ask one of them.
   • Anxious shyness includes not only social anxiety, but can extend to social phobias. To cope, you need the help of a psychotherapist, psychiatrist or other specialist in this profile.
   • Shyness is often a companion to introversion. This type of shyness is extremely common and manifests itself to varying degrees in about 50% of the population. This is a personality trait of a person, to combat which, regulated extraversion is used (the development of appropriate skills and traits).
2. 2 Keep a date journal. Record times when you were shy and when you tried to be outgoing. Write down your feelings and all the details you can remember. Later, you can re-read your diary and notice the repeating patterns.
   • Make journaling a daily habit. Set aside time for it in your daily routine and reward yourself for each diary entry to encourage and reinforce the habit.
   • Be honest with yourself. If you find yourself trying to reformulate your words rationally, chances are that you should think more deeply about the true meaning of what you want to express. Instead, formulate your thoughts as simply as possible.
   • Pay special attention to your feelings. Take note of the emotions you are experiencing. This will help you learn to control your feelings.
3. 3 Identify habits that contribute to your isolation. What you choose to do has a significant impact on your interactions with other people. If you stay at home and don't go out, then you will have very few opportunities for socialization. A person gets used to what he does all the time.
   • Forget about your mobile phone. Leave it at home while you walk. Put your phone in a closet or microwave (just don't turn it on!) For several hours until you forget about it. This will make you more likely to talk to other people.

Method 2 of 3: Break down barriers

1. 1 Change your point of view. Understand that no one thinks about you as much as you do. You will feel freer when you realize that no one pays special attention to every little mistake you make. People are focused on themselves and their mistakes. Remember this, and it will help you find inner comfort.
2. 2 Find situations that require social interaction. If you want to be more outgoing, it’s best to just get out of the house and put yourself in different situations in which you will have the opportunity to interact with people. Find yourself next to them. Go to events or places where you are likely to need to socialize.
   • Sign up for a hobby club. Find it online or call your local palace of culture. It will be easier for you to find a topic for conversation if the interlocutors share your interests.
   • Choose a hobby like martial arts or team sports. Group physical exercises do not require communication in large volumes, however, they cannot do without it. This will help you improve your socialization with moderate enough communication.
3. 3 Set challenging yet realistic goals. Don't feel obligated to become the life of any company overnight. Enjoy small victories. At first, take small steps to become more sociable. As you start to feel more relaxed and confident, add more challenging social challenges.
   • For starters, you can say hello to a random stranger or tell the person that you like the way they are dressed. Decide in advance what you will say and practice a little in front of a mirror or with a close friend, relative, or therapist. This will make it easier for you to relax and strike up a conversation when the opportunity arises.
4. 4 Over time, try to cope with the challenge of asking the person you like out on a date or dinner. If you still don't have the heart to do it face-to-face, you can write a note or send a message.
5. 5 Repeat successful attempts. Each time it will be easier for you, you just need to be persistent. If you had a great time at a party, on a date, or with friends, try to repeat the experience. This way you can reinforce the pleasant sensations. If going out on a date still seems like a difficult step to you, come up with a specific activity that you can more easily suggest, like having coffee or rollerblading. Choose an activity that you like and does not cause undue embarrassment.
6. 6 Find reasons to talk to people. Go to a public place and force yourself to ask for help or information. Get creative. Come up with a suitable question or topic.
   • Ask the person at the grocery store for their opinion on a particular product.
   • Ask for directions on how to get somewhere, even if you actually know the way.
   • Ask a stranger to help you carry something heavy, even if you can handle it yourself.

Method 3 of 3: Move step by step

1. 1 Come up with a reward system. Securing success is an important aspect of developing new habits. Only promise to treat yourself to something tasty if you talk to a specific person or start a conversation with a stranger.
2. 2 Get a friend's support. Sometimes being outgoing is not easy.Here, a more outgoing friend or even family member will come to your aid. Ask him to be your “cheerleader” and also help you find ways to become more outgoing.
3. 3 Think about where it will be more convenient for you to start. Present your actions step by step and practice different situations with a trusted friend. Start with brief interactions, such as saying hello to someone you know, and then work on being able to say hello to strangers. Then you can start talking about the weather, giving compliments, or asking for the time. Show your readiness for conversation through facial expressions and gestures and follow the development of interaction.
4. 4 Talk to a specialist. In some situations, you cannot do without the help of a professional. Different specialists can help you depending on how shy you are and in what situations.
   • A therapist can help you identify patterns in your behavior. Cognitive therapy can help you fight shyness.
   • A psychologist or psychotherapist specializing in family or love relationships helps people who are experiencing difficulties in their personal life due to shyness.

Tips

• Sometimes there is a little push to get started. Ask a friend or other loved one to push you out of your social comfort zone.