Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to respond to this behavior
• Method 2 of 3: Set boundaries
• Method 3 of 3: Support your loved one

Constant dramatic scenes, exaggerated stories and excessive conflict are often signs that a person is looking for attention. If someone bothers you with this behavior, it is best to ignore the antics. Firm personal boundaries will help you maintain calm and composure. However, if the attention seeker is your loved one, you might want to consider if you can work with a counselor to help them overcome this behavior.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to respond to this behavior

1. 1 Ignore the person if they do something that bothers you. Ignoring is the best way to show that the person will not get your attention. Don't look at him or ask him to stop. Just pretend he doesn't.
   • Many people of this type enjoy both negative and positive attention. For example, they may whistle because they know it will annoy you and you will snap at them. As hard as it is, ignore the whistle in the future. Use earplugs or listen to music while this is happening.
   • If the person tells stories to get your attention, come up with an excuse not to listen to them. For example, you might say, "I need to finish work," or, "Sorry, but I'm very busy right now."
2. 2 Remain calm during these antics. If you cannot ignore the person, try not to show emotion when interacting with them. Don't express anger, frustration, or worry. But pretending that you are interested is also not worth it. Just keep radiating coolness and calmness.
   • For example, if your coworker sits down next to you and starts chatting about an argument with your boss, just nod. When he's finished, tell him you need to get back to work.
   • Try not to ask questions if he is telling a story. Instead, respond with short phrases such as "great" or "good."
   • However, if the person has a really good idea or funny story, don't be afraid to show interest. Everybody needs genuine attention from time to time. If you are really interested in this person's hobbies or stories, you may enjoy the conversation.
3. 3 If the person is trying to play a trick on the victim, only insist on the facts. Victimization is a common technique used by attention seekers in order to gain sympathy or compliments. Such people tell dramatic stories in which they are targeted and insulted. In response, ask objective questions about the facts in the story, not the emotions or point of view of the narrator.
   • For example, if a person rants about the rudeness of the cashier, you might ask, “What exactly did he say? Did he really address you like that to your face? Where was the manager? "
4. 4 Learn to walk away during dangerous or extreme situations. Attention seekers do their best to elicit a reaction. Some may over-dramatize to gain attention. If the situation starts to get out of hand, walk away. By doing this, you will signal that these antics will not give the person the reaction they are seeking.
   • Avoid giving attention to dangerous tricks or jokes. If a person gets involved in something risky in order to get attention, tell him directly: “I don't like watching you harm yourself.If this continues, I don’t think we will be able to spend time together. ”
   • If you think there is a danger that the person will harm themselves or someone else, help them as soon as possible. Some signs that he may be thinking about suicide include talking about his death, giving away his property, or excessive consumption of alcohol or drugs. Ask the person to call the emergency psychological hotline of the Ministry of Emergency Situations at 8 (495) 989-50-50, 8 (499) 216-50-50 or 051 (for residents of Moscow). You can also call the free crisis helpline at the following numbers: 8 495 988-44-34 (free in Moscow), 8 800 333-44-34 (free in Russia) - here psychologists provide round-the-clock emergency consultations in the field of life problems. If you live in another country, ask the person to call their local mental health emergency hotline.
   • If the person has cried, shouted, or yelled in public an infinite number of times, it may be worth asking him to make an appointment with a psychologist.

Method 2 of 3: Set boundaries

1. 1 Tell me which behavior you will tolerate and which will not. Make sure the attention seeker understands that you will not put up with certain behaviors. If he knows that specific actions will not get your attention, he will most likely stop doing so in the future.
   • For example, if you don't want him to touch you, you might say, “Would you mind banging on me and missing me when you need to get my attention? How about knocking on my desk if you need me? " Ignore any future touch.
   • You can also say something like, “I know you are crazy about parkour, but I get nervous when you show me videos of jumping off buildings. Please don't show me this anymore. "
2. 2 Set time limits for conversations and conversations. An attention seeker can quickly take over your day with their stories and needs. To avoid this, tell from the beginning how much time you can devote to communication. End the conversation after this time.
   • For example, if he calls you, you might say, “I only have 15 minutes. What happened?"
   • If you're spending time with him, try saying, "Let's have lunch, but I'll have to leave before 2:00 pm."
   • Set an alarm on your phone to let you know when you need to end the conversation. When it works, it will be a signal to you and the other person that it is time to end the conversation.
3. 3 Unsubscribe from him on social networks. Some people share too much information or post too much on social media such as VKontakte, Instagram or Twitter. If this annoys you, just remove the person from your friends or hide their posts in your feed.
   • Posting too many posts on social media can be a sign that a person wants to engage more with society. If this is someone you care about, call him or go in person and offer to take a walk.
   • If he posts provocative material on social media, you may be tempted to leave a comment or reply. Try to suppress this impulse.
4. 4 Spend less time with him if he makes you stressed, anxious, or annoying. If the attention seeker becomes too much of a burden in your life, cut off contacts if possible. Otherwise, reduce your interactions as much as possible.
   • If it's a family member, you might want to schedule one phone call a month or exchange pleasantries at family gatherings. However, you don't have to keep answering his calls.
   • Tell attention-seeking colleagues that you prefer to discuss only work-related issues, especially in the office.If they try to come to you with an office showdown, give them a limited amount of time and then get back to work.

Method 3 of 3: Support your loved one

1. 1 Determine if there is an underlying reason behind his behavior. Attention-seeking behavior can sometimes be the result of trauma, neglect, or other stressful situations. It can also be a sign of low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority. If this is someone you care about, try taking some time to talk to see if there is something that is provoking this behavior.
   • You can start this conversation with the following words: “Listen, I want to understand. Are you all right? You've been acting strange lately. "
   • If a person does not want to speak, do not force him. Just say something like, "If you ever want to talk, just let me know."
2. 2 Boost his self-esteem when he is not actively seeking your attention. Your loved one may be worried that no one will take care of them unless they constantly seek attention and approval. Let him know that you will love him even if you don't pay direct attention to him.
   • You can send him a random message with the words: “Hi, I was just thinking about you. Hope you have a great day! " - or: "I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do."
   • Or you can say something like this: "Even at a distance, you still mean a lot to me."
   • It's important to approach him first so that he doesn't have a chance to try to get your attention. This will help convince him that he doesn't need to resort to drama or conflict to get positive attention.
3. 3 Offer to get professional help if you think the person will harm themselves. Extreme behavior can manifest itself in threats to harm or kill yourself. Perhaps a person locks himself in a room or becomes discouraged due to minor events. These are usually signs of hidden mental health problems. But the good news is that your loved one can get support and treatment from a professional therapist.
   • You can say to your loved one: “I noticed that lately you have been looking very upset. I love you and want to make sure you get the help you need. "
   • This behavior can be a cry for help. Try not to ignore threats, thinking they are just attention seeking. They can be quite valid.
   • Personality disorders such as hysterical or borderline can cause people to engage in extreme behaviors that require attention.