Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Express Your Feelings
• Part 2 of 3: Get Support
• Part 3 of 3: Take care of yourself
• Tips
• Warnings

Grief can be caused by a variety of factors, from the loss of a loved one or pet to the loss of a cherished dream. Anyone will agree that dealing with grief is a difficult task, and that there is no time limit after which you can be guaranteed to get over your grief. However, if you manage your emotions to the best of your ability, you will receive help and support. Remember to take care of yourself and you will gradually start to feel better.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Express Your Feelings

1. 1 Don't ignore your grief. One of the misconceptions of people who are confronted with grief is that if you ignore your feelings or sweep them under the rug, they will just go away. Sure, you can go on living your life, going to work and acting like nothing happened, but in the long run it will only delay your pain and bring you sadness, bitterness, anger and pain, exploding somewhere inside you. So, the first thing you should do is admit that you are in dire pain. Confess to yourself, your friends, the entire social network.
2. 2 Ask yourself. It is often seen that the cause of grief is illogical and irrational. For example, some people grieve out of habit; after they overcome grief, they feel better and rejoice. They even sometimes get carried away with this triumphant feeling after defeating their grief. So question yourself .....
   • Is grief rational or logical? People sometimes grieve about something over which they have no control, over minor troubles, fake reasons, etc. For example, if a friend fails the test. Logically, you have no control or influence over your friend's failure, but you will nonetheless grieve instead of supporting your friend and guiding you on a productive path. Another example would be denial of interpersonal relationships, which is complete delusion most of the time. Remember, failure is part of success.
   • Is your response productive? Ask yourself, is the grief you feel will help me gain control over the source of the grief anyway? Will it have a positive effect on my life? If so, then in any case you shouldn't grieve, but if not, then you shouldn't be irrational and strict with yourself? You feel a misery that cannot reach you anywhere.
   • Can I do something about grief? People sit there and grieve in the hope of being saved, and in the end it makes them even sadder and sadder. Instead of feeling unhappy ask yourself; what can i do to fix this? If there is something you can do about it, try doing it.However, if there is nothing you can do to fix the situation, it would be irrational to do something about it, and you will be doing a huge disservice to yourself.
3. 3 Don't force yourself to be strong. When people experience great losses, people tell themselves that they must endure and be stronger. You may think that no one wants to see you cry, look sad, barely able to take care of themselves, and just walk around like a sleepwalker, but that's ok if it really suits your feelings. If you have to stay strong for friends or family members, this trick may work, but you can still admit that you feel weak if you are truly devastated.
   • Of course, you don't want to go completely limp and you shouldn't. But don't try to act "tough" as if you have everything under control when you know that this is not the case.
4. 4 Cry if you feel like it. There is no limit to how many tears a person can cry before they are no longer "productive." If you feel like you are about to burst into tears, just allow yourself to do so and cry. Obviously, it is more convenient if you can cry mostly when you are alone and not give in to sobs in public, but even if you cry in front of everyone, this is not the end of the world and people will understand. Don't feel that tears are slowing you down or hindering your progress.
5. 5 Don't cry if you don't want to. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone experiences pain in the same way - and not through tears. You may feel deep sadness without shedding tears, even if people around you may think it is “weird” that you are not expressing your feelings more openly. Everyone grieves in different ways, and don't force yourself to cry if you don't feel like it.
6. 6 Stop thinking about the deadline. Maybe you've heard that "grief lasts a year" - that doesn't sound so bad, right? Unfortunately, everything has its own timeline when it comes to dealing with grief, and you shouldn't feel bad if you feel how many months have passed and you feel like you haven't made the slightest "progress." It's not about progress - it's about expressing your feelings, look where you got them from. People may have certain expectations about how you should feel at a certain moment, but your own feelings should have nothing to do with what people want from you.
   • The point is that you will never be able to completely "overcome" your grief. You will remember your loved one, even after many years, and this is completely normal. "Overcoming" really means finding the best way to deal with your feelings so that you can move forward, which is different from "moving on."
7. 7 Don't dwell on the five stages of grief. If you are grieving, then you have probably heard about how each person must go through the five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, not everyone goes through all of these five stages before finding peace, and not everyone goes through them in the same order. For example, you may feel depression first and then anger. If you go through these stages, you can find out how other people feel in similar situations, but do not feel that you cannot deal with your sadness because you have not "passed" all the stages.

Part 2 of 3: Get Support

1. 1 Find support in your family and friends. That's what they are for, right? Your friends and family aren't just for fun time or the holidays. They are there to be a shoulder to cry on, to listen to, and lend a helping hand when you need it. Open up your pain to a close friend or family member and make it a habit to hang out with your loved ones in a relaxed atmosphere. Obviously, having high-profile hangouts with your loved ones will only accentuate your condition and make you feel even worse, but watching a movie or having lunch with a close friend will make you feel better.
   • If you need a lot of time, that's fine.Don't force yourself to be outgoing and friendly if you don't want to be. But if you feel that you don't want to see people at all, then you may run into problems.
   • If walking with loved ones and friends is calming for you, make a plan to spend even more time with them and make your social calendar a little larger than usual.
2. 2 Find comfort in your faith. If you hold a certain religious belief, then during this period you can deepen your faith and invest in your religious community. Talk to your pastor, rabbi, imam, or other religious leaders for comfort and attend services and events hosted by your religious community. You can meet new people to help you get distracted, or simply spend more time focusing on your faith and your religious beliefs, which will also bring you peace.
3. 3 Join a support group. Support groups are filled with people who suffer similar losses and who can share their pain and understand yours. You may feel like you don’t have many friends or family members to turn to because they don’t know what you are really going through because they have never experienced similar losses, no matter how good your rapport. Support groups can give you access to people who are suffering in a similar way (although, of course, no one can feel the exact same pain as any other person) and can help you build a new order of life and give you the help you need.
   • Support groups are not for everyone. If you join one and don't feel like you are receiving beneficial influences, then it’s okay to leave that group.
4. 4 See a therapist or counselor. Sometimes it can be a big help to open up your feelings to a professional who doesn't know you on a personal level. This can help you sort out your feelings and get detailed advice from a trusted source. You may also just want to talk and may feel less constrained when you share your feelings with someone who doesn't know you outside of your department. Don't assume that getting professional help means you have a problem or weakness; it is a sign of strength to admit that you need more help.
5. 5 Tell your colleagues what's going on. While you don't have to tell your boss and thirty closest coworkers all the details of what happened, just keep them posted, let them know that you might need some distraction for a while, that you can work the same way as before, and that you just need to be treated with a little more care.
   • Don't worry about people feeling a little awkward or uncomfortable around you; it's just a little discomfort, and much better than flaunting everything and fighting a smile on a hard day when you can only force yourself to open your email.
6. 6 Consider purchasing a pet. This may sound funny. How will a tiny little kitten make you feel better about the death of one of your closest friends? Obviously, a new pet cannot replace the person you lost, but having a pet - if you feel stable enough to take care of it, of course - will surely help you feel better. You will find comfort in being able to cuddle with a being who unconditionally loves you, and you will feel empowered by caring for another being. Pets are stress relievers, and maybe that's what you need.

Part 3 of 3: Take care of yourself

1. 1 Relax. It may sound silly, but making sure you sleep 7-8 hours a night is one of the most important things you can do to take care of yourself during this difficult time.Chances are, you're worried about staying up all night or spending more than 14 hours a day in bed because you can't bring yourself to get up to face the new day. Try to find balance, get enough sleep, but not too much, even if it takes an effort to get up.
   • If you're having trouble sleeping, take it easy with caffeine.
   • If you truly cannot sleep, you can take anti-anxiety medications if your doctor doesn’t tell you, but you should not get too addicted to the medications.
2. 2 Be physically healthy. People who are struggling with grief tend to stop looking after their health. Maybe you can only eat once a day because you're too sad, or maybe all you can do is order a pizza twice a day because you can't bring yourself to go grocery shopping or cook normal food. Force yourself to eat three balanced meals a day as often as you can; and make sure you eat foods that make you feel good and energized, not even more lethargic and tired.
   • If you really can't bring yourself to cook, trust a friend who can make some comforting meals for you.
   • Try exercising at least once a week - ideally every other day if you can. Even walking 30 minutes a day will make you feel stronger and can improve your mood.
   • This means staying away from alcohol until you feel more stable.
3. 3 Take care of your mental health. Everyone reacts differently to grief, which is great if you've seen a counselor before, but you should check with yourself to make sure you're not feeling overwhelmed by depression, anxiety, or anger. Talk to your doctor or psychotherapist if you feel unable to do something, can barely get out of the house, or feel anxious or angry at every turn. Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body, especially during these difficult times.
4. 4 Spend some time outdoors. The sun makes people feel happier. Sit in the park instead of pouting in your room. Walk 20 minutes to the grocery store instead of driving. Sit on the back porch as you read instead of staying in bed. These small changes can make a big difference.
5. 5 Do something to overcome your grief. If you sit and constantly think about grief, there will only be more grief. Instead, engage in some activity.
   • Meditate. One of the goals of meditation is to help you find inner strength that you are not aware of. This inner strength can be extremely beneficial to feel and become strong from the inside out. Meditating for just about 10 minutes can be very beneficial.
   • Listen to good music. Music has an amazing ability to change moods instantly. Listening to good music and even trying to dance to it is a good way to shake off your grief. Remember that there is a high chance that listening to sad music will not help you, but will make you even sadder. Thus, happy and inspiring music is recommended.
   • Have fun. Remember, the most important thing is to have a fun time.
   • Feel real gratitude for what you have. If your friends and family support you, there is music, good food, a garden, etc. Basically, you can feel grateful for anything that has a positive impact on your life. Now look at the amazing and infinite Universe, spread your hands and say "thank you" for what you have, and try to feel gratitude. It is a very powerful activity and exercise to overcome grief.
6. 6 Keep a diary. Taking journals at least once a day or two can help you take stock of your emotions, feel more in control of yourself, and feel like you are reflecting on your daily life. You may feel like life is passing you by after a loss, and that you barely have time to think about it, but journal entries will help you slow down this process and get more in touch with your emotions.
7. 7 Get ready to meet your triggers. Grief does not follow an even trajectory, and yes, you will feel worse in some moments that can bring all the suffering back. These moments are usually holidays, family events, or interactions with any people that remind you of your loss. If you know you will be faced with an event or group of people that will make you think of a recent loss, make sure you have additional support and an escape plan if needed.
   • If you are used to spending Thanksgiving with your loved one, make sure you make additional plans several months in advance so that you are not alone at home during the holiday.
8. 8 Don't make any vital decisions yet. Wait until you feel calmer and more rational before making any important decisions. Losing can make you think it's time to ask for a divorce, quit your job, make a move, or do something very dramatic, but you have to wait a while to realize if it's worth it, and if it's really the most the best plan for you. Even if you have thought about these changes for a long time, it is better to make these decisions with a cool head than to do things that you will regret later.
   • Once you've made your decision, give yourself at least two months and then start implementing it. After a while, ask yourself if this was really as good an idea as it seemed.
9. 9 Find new things to do. Although you cannot completely change your life, to come to terms with the loss, the more changes you can make, the better. Find a new cafe instead of the one you and your loved one went to on Sunday morning. Create a new work schedule that works for you. Come up with a new hobby or activity and dive into it several times a week. Try a new type of exercise, such as yoga or running. Although you shouldn't change everything in your life, especially if you liked everything, however, you should find some new things that bring you pleasure, distract from the thoughts of your loved one.
10. 10 Be patient. This does not mean that you have to sit back and wait for the day when your grief will magically go away. Unfortunately, such a day will not come. But gradually you will realize that you are able to live with grief and move forward. The person you lost will always be special to you and will be on your mind until the day comes when you no longer accept the loss so strongly. Keep telling yourself that you are really getting better, as corny as it sounds, keep working and taking care of yourself.

Tips

• These tips will help you grow stronger and feel stronger every day.

Warnings

• Never ignore thoughts of suicide, seek help immediately. Find the numbers of institutions in your phone book where you can go for help.