How to make your wife fall in love with you again

Video: My Wife Hates Me | Absolute BEST Ways To Make Your Wife Fall For You All Over Again

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 4: How to work together to solve problems
Method 2 of 4: How to Build Communication
Method 3 of 4: How to restore intimacy in a relationship
Method 4 of 4: Taking Care of Yourself
Tips

If it seems to you that your wife has stopped loving you, it is probably very difficult for you to realize this. However, even if the distance between you grows, this does not mean that your marriage cannot be saved. Understand what went wrong and think about what you both can do to fix the situation. Then start taking proactive steps that demonstrate to your spouse that you want to win her love again. Perhaps over time, she will begin to see in you again the person with whom she once fell in love.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: How to work together to solve problems

1 Think about what has distanced you. Reflect on your relationship with your wife from the beginning until now. Try to determine at what point something changed for the worse. Sometimes the cause of distance is an event (for example, a violent quarrel or betrayal), but sometimes the cause can be difficult to establish - for example, one of the couple is experiencing problems with intimacy or feels unnecessary in marriage.
- Write your thoughts in a diary daily and analyze them when you get the opportunity.
- Don't think that you have to find answers quickly. It often takes a lot of time to understand what led to problems in a marriage.
2 Take responsibility for your role in problems. When you realize at what point something went wrong, think about which of your actions might have contributed to the problem. Then talk to your wife about your role in the problems you are having.
- You can say this: "Masha, I know that I allowed work to influence our relationship, which made you sad and lonely. But I am ready to work on solving problems, and I would like to find a solution with you."
- Don't emphasize that your wife needs to change. Even if you think your wife’s actions are causing the problem, it’s important to figure out what you could have done differently. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to change something.
3 Ask your wife how you can remedy the situation. When you talk to your spouse and take responsibility for your actions, ask her what changes she would like to see in your behavior. Try to give her specific answers on all points, but if she needs time to think, give her that opportunity and do not force her to answer you immediately.
- You might say, "What can I do to make you feel loved and important to me every day?" or "Is there something that I offend you, but do not notice it?"
- In the course of the dialogue, you may be surprised to find out that you have touched her with something, although you yourself did not attach much importance to it. However, an important element of an apology is understanding what you did wrong, so try not to get defensive.
- Do not take this as an opportunity to list everything that does not suit you in the behavior of your spouse. Listen to her with understanding and empathy.
4 Let go of past grudges. If you want your wife to forgive you for any wrongdoing, you will need to be willing to do the same towards her, even if it is very difficult. Remind yourself that a harmonious marriage is more important than offenses, and try to forgive your wife for anything she could offend you.
- Try writing about your feelings and then tearing it up and discarding it to symbolically let go of the hurt.
- If you need to address the issues that caused the grievances, talk to your wife about them. Say something like this: "Can I tell you something? I don't want to quarrel about this, but I want us to talk openly about problems. This will help our relationship become harmonious."
5 Do not hurry. It takes a lot of energy to solve relationship problems, so don't expect your wife to be ready to fix it right away. Give yourself and her time to rebuild trust and build communication. Try to find a general solution that works for both.
- Even if you are still arguing during this time, try to demonstrate to your wife regularly that you want to be a reliable and loving person.
6 If you are unable to solve difficult problems on your own, see a psychologist. Perhaps you and your wife have been trying to solve a problem for some time, but cannot find a common language. In this case, it will be helpful for you to seek help from a family therapist. If your wife is ready for this, attend the sessions together. The specialist will teach you new ways to communicate and help resolve conflict.
- You can put it this way: "It seems to me that it is difficult for us to solve this problem on our own. Would you like to go with me to a family therapist so that we can understand what we can do?"
- Even if your spouse does not want to see a therapist, it will be useful for you to work with the specialist yourself. A therapist will give you the tools to work on relationships and improve your personal life in general.

Method 2 of 4: How to Build Communication

1 Learn to listen to your wife actively. You may be used to hearing what she says but not listening. To make your wife feel loved and important, try to talk to her every day without distracting you. Put your phone aside, look at her during a conversation, comment on what she said so that she knows that you are listening to her carefully.
- Repeat what your wife has said so that she can see that you are listening. For example: "Yeah, that is, Katya wants us to come next Saturday. We can come."
2 Thank your wife for the things she does for you. To make your wife feel loved, remind her that you value what she does for you and your life. Compliment the way she looks, thank her for reminding you of the appointment with the doctor. All these little things can mean a lot to her.
- Try to remember at least one thing every day for which you are grateful to your wife. So she will see that you notice her efforts, and you yourself will appreciate more what you have.
3 Find out what is your wife's love language. People express their love in different ways, and the ways that love is expressed are called love languages. Knowing what actions your wife considers to be expressions of love can help you do what is important to her more often.
- For example, if your wife's love language is words of encouragement, start talking every day about what you love about her.
- If she appreciates help more, try to take over some of her affairs. For example, cook dinner when she doesn't expect it, or hire a nanny for the evening and arrange an unscheduled date with your wife.
- If your wife's love language is all about gifts, know that you don't have to give her something expensive or fancy every day. Try writing her love notes or bringing her favorite food home after a tough day.
SPECIALIST'S ADVICE
Jin S. Kim, MA

Licensed Family Therapist Gene Kim is a Licensed Family Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He specializes in working with LGBTQ people, clients of color and those who have problems with multiple or intersectional identities. Received an MA in Clinical Psychology from the University of Antioch in Los Angeles with a specialization in Affirmative Psychology in 2015.
Jin S. Kim, MA
Licensed family therapist
Our expert agrees. There are five languages of love: gifts, shared time, physical touch, help, and words of encouragement. Knowing your partner's love language will help you learn more about each other and be able to communicate more effectively.
4 Make joint decisions if they affect both of you. If you buy a new car or a new house without talking to your wife, it will clearly lead to problems in your marriage. However, it is important to make decisions together, even if they are not so serious. Decide together where you go on vacation and together plan your budget for the year. This will make you feel like a team and know you have common goals.
- It is important not only to include your wife in decision-making, but also to be included yourself. Do not shift decision-making to your wife, otherwise she will have the feeling that she is doing everything herself.
5 Express your dissatisfaction constructively. It is perfectly normal to talk to your wife about marriage problems from time to time. However, it’s important not to criticize your wife’s actions, but rather to talk about how the situation affects you and your feelings.
- You can put it this way: "Sometimes I think that you share too many details from our intimate life with your girlfriends, and because of this I feel uncomfortable in their company. Can we set boundaries that would be comfortable for both?"

Method 3 of 4: How to restore intimacy in a relationship

1 Compliment your wife every day. Building your wife's self-esteem will help her see you as a positive and reliable person, which will be beneficial for the marriage. Every day think about what you love about her, respect, what you admire, and find a way to express your feelings.
- For example, if you admire the taste in clothes, compliment her outfit when she gets ready for work in the morning.
- Compliment your wife's personality, whether she's making you laugh or her empathy.
- Celebrate her accomplishments at work, praise a project she has worked hard on.
2 Try to laugh together as often as possible. In conversations with your wife, recall funny stories that happened to you, and laugh at the details. Sometimes laughter can bring two people together again, even if you have a fight or if you are very tired after a difficult day.
- Go on a movie date for a comedy or stand-up show.
3 Touch your wife lovingly. Touch is one of the most important elements of intimacy, including romance.However, you should not only touch your wife when you feel like intimate contact. Light touches will help you get closer again.
- For example, hug her in the morning or when she gets home from work. Knead her shoulders slightly if you are standing behind her.
- Over time, this will make your wife feel more at ease around you. She may also become more receptive to flirting and more romantic touching, which will restore intimate relationships.
4 Look back together when you first met to strengthen the bond. When you’re quietly spending time together, remember the beginning of your relationship. Tell your wife about the little things you still remember about first dates (like how she was dressed or her funny habits). If she knows that you still remember these things, she can again feel the feelings that she experienced in those days.
- Say this: "Do you remember how we had dinner at that eatery? The food was delicious, but I couldn't taste it because I couldn't take my eyes off you. I saw that you were a little nervous because you kept pulling your hair behind your ear. , and I wanted to kiss you all the time! "
5 Try doing something new together. Doing the same things over and over again can lead to the feeling that there is no more romance and joy in marriage. To solve this problem, do something new with your wife. Set up a date, try a new hobby, go on vacation to a place you've never been before. You will become closer, and you will have new joyful memories together.
- For example, take turns taking turns choosing a new restaurant once a month.
- Surprise your wife with flowers, concert tickets, spa gift vouchers, or something you've never done before.
6 Make spending time together a priority. All people have a lot to do, and this can affect marriage, especially if you have to work, house, raise children, look after pets, help aging parents, and pursue hobbies at the same time. Marriage will not become a priority in itself, so it is important to consciously strive to find time to communicate with your wife.
- If necessary, set aside time in advance for communication and recreation. You should be able to be alone and forget about all your worries for a while.
- You don't have to do something to spend time together. Try to just set aside at least a couple of minutes to chat when everyone is in bed so you can tell each other how your day went.

Method 4 of 4: Taking Care of Yourself

1 Resist negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with positive ones. In times of relationship problems, a person may feel insecure. But if you suddenly catch yourself not thinking negatively about yourself, challenge those thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
- This is especially important if you have experienced a number of difficult relationships in the past. You may have been told more than once that you are not good enough. Perhaps you blame yourself for what is happening.
- For example, if you think that you are always hurting people and that no one will ever love you, replace that thought with the following: “Right now, I’m trying my best to keep the marriage together because I love my wife. I’m trying to get better.”
Advice: If you can't do this, work with a therapist. A specialist will help you learn to change your way of thinking.
2 Take time to do what you enjoy. For a relationship to be harmonious, it is important to find time for yourself and your hobbies. Otherwise, you will feel trapped or start to hate the conditions. These feelings can begin to emerge imperceptibly, which will affect your relationship with your wife.
- For example, go for a run every morning before work, or meet friends at a bar one Sunday a month.
Advice: Try to make sure that your wife also has the opportunity to pursue her hobbies. For example, if you’re meeting your friends this weekend, the next weekend she should be able to meet her friends.
3 Pay attention to your physical and mental health. To build a harmonious relationship, you need to be in harmony with yourself. Eat right, spend half an hour exercising each day, and deal with stress with mindfulness practice or deep breathing exercises. All this will help you to be physically and psychologically ready for each new day.
- Attention to yourself will also build your self-confidence, which may make you appear physically attractive to your wife again.
4 Set new goals for yourself and work to achieve them. It is important to push yourself into difficult actions, even if it scares you. Thanks to this, you will not only feel satisfaction from what you have done, but will also be able to show your wife that you are capable of developing. She will surely appreciate it.
- For example, if you are unhappy with your job, start taking courses that will allow you to get a job you like.
- Goals can be related to nutrition, household chores, or social life. Set goals that matter most to you.
5 Consider ending the marriage if the relationship becomes toxic. Unfortunately, you cannot influence everything. If your wife is not ready to work on the relationship, you should consider taking a break from the relationship or divorce if after a while you have not managed to find a common language.
- If your fights escalate into physical, verbal, or emotional abuse from any side, it means that your relationship has become toxic. The help of a psychotherapist is needed to solve this problem, but it may not be enough. Sometimes it's best to break up to avoid making the situation worse.