Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Make Sex a Priority
• Method 2 of 3: Discuss your sexual needs
• Method 3 of 3: Create a Romantic Environment

Sex can be an important part of a romantic relationship. Perhaps having sex with your loved one is important to you as a way to establish intimacy and bond. Expressing healthy sexuality can bring you both physical and emotional satisfaction. But sometimes sex fades into the background due to the seething lifestyle and other distractions. Sometimes the lack of communication about sex also adds some frustration and devalues ​​the importance of sex in a relationship. Chat with your partner, create an appropriate environment and make sex a priority in your relationship to improve your sex life with your loved one.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Make Sex a Priority

1. 1 Schedule sex. Yes, it's not romantic. But sometimes life makes its own adjustments, and too many things and fatigue fall on us to waste time on sex. We are all used to the fact that sex happens spontaneously, which is why at first. It will likely be embarrassing, but hopefully over time, both you and your partner will look forward to moments of intimacy.
   • Discuss how often you want to have sex and come to an agreement.Mark dates on the calendar so you don't forget about them.
   • Consider planning your sex schedule a month or two in advance to see if this strategy is right for you.
2. 2 Have a date night. If you don't like the schedule for sex, remember that in the early days of your relationship, you most likely unintentionally "planned" this action. For example, when you first started dating, you probably knew you would see your partner on Friday night. Perhaps you expected to have sex this evening, and for sure it excited and aroused both of you.
   • Plan a fun night out with your partner. Fool around and flirt with each other to create a sense of novelty. Keep this feeling until you can retire to have sex.
3. 3 Turn off your TV and other gadgets. In your free time, you can easily immerse yourself in drunken TV viewing or forget on the Internet, instead of spending this time talking with your partner. Make an agreement whereby you can spend a certain amount of time together a day or week without phones or other electronic devices.
   • You may not want to force yourself to have sex. In this case, this time can be spent on communicating and establishing communication with each other. If you have sex, great! But even if that doesn't happen, you will lay the foundation for greater intimacy in the future.
   • You can ask your partner: “Do you just want to lie down and relax a little? I can give you a massage, or we can just cuddle. "
4. 4 Find energy for sex. Many people get tired by the end of the day when they finally retire with a partner. However, if you want to make sex a priority in your relationship, don't use fatigue as an excuse. Get creative and find several ways to fit sex into your schedule.
   • If you are both early risers, wake up a little earlier in the morning.
   • Find out-of-the-box ways to make love during the day, like doing it in the shower while getting ready for work or meeting at lunchtime for quick sex.
   • Get active in the evening with exercise. This will make you feel more alert and energized.
5. 5 Go to bed early with your partner. If you go to bed at different times, it will likely be difficult for you to find time for evening sex, as one of you may already be asleep. Try to go to bed at the same time, and check where this leads.
   • The first few nights you will most likely fall asleep without sex, as your body will adjust to the extra sleep time and new schedule, but then you will likely begin to crave your partner.
6. 6 Remember, there is no “right amount” of sex. We live in a sex-rich culture. Perhaps you are oppressed by the idea that you need to have sex more often, because you see such an example in the media. Only you and your partner (and not some kind of magazine there!) Can decide how much sex is right for you.
   • It's perfectly okay if you don't want to have sex twice a week and prefer to do it twice a month. You may not be interested in sex at all. Provided that you and your partner have the same outlook on sexuality, libido will not be a problem!

Method 2 of 3: Discuss your sexual needs

1. 1 Talk about it. Talk to your partner about your desires and feelings, and what turns you off. Refer back to this conversation often, as feelings, preferences, and life circumstances can change. Remember that couples often fight over sex, so it is important to maintain open and understandable communication so that resentment and frustration do not build up.
   • You may feel uncomfortable or vulnerable discussing your sexual preferences with your partner, but try to do so anyway.You might say, “Even though I’m having sex with you, I’m still embarrassed to discuss this topic with you. But I want to talk about our sex life and how we can improve it. "
   • Tell your partner what you like and what turns you on in your sex life. Talk about what you would like to change or what makes you feel better. You might say, “I really like it when we have sex in the shower, and I would like to do it more often. I love it when we use toys. I would like us to have sex at least twice a week. " Ask your partner what he likes or what he would change in your sex life.
2. 2 Show your partner what you like. You may both find this to be a very sexual act. Show your partner how you masturbate, or place his hands on your body and show him what to do.
   • If you or your partner are unsure about your preferences, experiment on yourself or on each other. Masturbation is an essential component of sexual knowledge and health.
3. 3 Be open to constructive criticism. Whether you are discussing sex or are on your way to it, create an environment in which both of you can openly admit what you don't like and who you are. Sex makes us vulnerable, so it is sometimes difficult to deal with criticism, but if you are too sensitive to criticism, you create tension between you.
   • If your partner says, “I don’t like it when you touch me like that,” say, “Sorry. Can you show how you like it? "
   • Don't take it personally. Even after many years, you will still have much to learn about each other.
4. 4 Define the concept of consent. Discuss the concept of consent with your partner. To achieve an open, healthy sexual relationship, both of you must understand what consent means for each of you, and accept the fact that it can be withdrawn at any time.
   • For example, say you and your partner decide to have sex and are preparing for foreplay. Suddenly, the partner says: "You know, it seems to me that I am not in tune today." Stop immediately and say, "Okay." Find out if he wants to talk about it. Don't argue or try to insist on continuing.
   • It is important to obtain consent even if you have been sexual partners for many years. Feelings and preferences are fickle, and you should not take intercourse for granted, even if you have many years of experience together. Always ask, "Is it okay if I do this?" - or: "Do you want me to do this?" - and be sure to seek agreement in words.

Method 3 of 3: Create a Romantic Environment

1. 1 Eliminate expectations. To improve your sexual experience, it's important to let go of any expectations you or your partner might have. Try to be as confident, playful, and aroused as possible to experience blissful and often carnal pleasure from sex. Try not to focus on such questions during the process: "Am I good at it?", "How do I feel?" - or: "Do you love me?" These questions are based on your expectations about your sexual experience with a partner, and are usually born out of fear. By asking these questions, you are trying to assess the situation based on how you think you should feel emotionally, mentally and physically, thereby distracting from the moment and moving away from your partner and experiences.
   • Sexual intimacy should be relaxed and free. Sex needs to be done in a playful manner, so don't bring any conflicts or personal emotional or cognitive needs into the process. If you follow these guidelines, you will be able to experience pure ecstasy as a result.
2. 2 Establish a physical bond with your partner. Work and other responsibilities may separate you most of the day. When you are together, try to be in close physical contact with your partner.Kiss him, hug and caress him.
   • Even if it doesn't ultimately lead to sex, physical touch can help create a stronger bond between the two of you. It will also help you relax and improve your physical and emotional health.
   • Take time each day to soak up, cuddle, or just sit in close proximity to each other.
3. 3 Find out what creates the mood. Find out what turns you and your partner on. Keep in mind that these techniques do not have to be physical or sexual in nature. See if you can find a template for living together in which both of you can love each other more, and try your best to reproduce moments like this!
   • Talk to your partner about the times when they have the greatest desire to have sex. Perhaps he will say, "After a romantic date," or, "When we are having fun together." Think of ways to recreate this mood for your partner. For example, you can take him to a new restaurant or play mini golf.
   • If your partner likes anxious expectations, be playful and teasing throughout the day. You can send naughty messages, whisper in his ear what you want to do with him, or start kissing him only to then stop and say: "To be continued."
4. 4 Create a romantic atmosphere. Think about what makes you and your partner feel romantic and intimate. Of course, you can hardly put a heart of rose petals on the bed every time, but there are still ways to make the atmosphere romantic and special.
   • Create soft lighting, such as candles or light bulbs with dim, diffused lighting. Chandelier light is likely to be too harsh.
   • Spend some money on good bedding that will make you both enjoy your time.
   • Play music to help set the mood. R&B, jazz or light rock might be good choices, but it depends on your preference.
   • Or at least clean up your bedroom and remove any distractions. Turn off the TV and pick your clothes off the floor. Cleaning the rest of the living space (if possible) will also be a plus.
5. 5 Help each other with household chores. While it doesn't sound romantic, research has shown that helping your partner with household chores can actually help set him up for sex, as he will be less burdened with the chores. Find out what you can do to help and do it on your own initiative.
   • For example, you might wash the dishes, tidy up the bathroom, or put the kids to bed so your partner can relax.
   • Don't make your partner feel like you've helped in return for sex. This will put even more pressure on him and can throw off the whole mood.
6. 6 Arrange weekly dates. If you both lead a hectic lifestyle, it may be difficult for you to make time for each other. If you do not pay attention to each other outside the bedroom, then problems in the bedroom itself cannot be avoided. Regular weekly dating will help both of you make relationships a priority, which will improve your sex life.
   • Dating doesn't have to be big. You can just go for a long walk. It is important that you spend time together, getting closer to each other as a couple.
   • Find a nanny. If you have kids, be sure to hire a nanny. It may be helpful if one partner calls the nanny while the other chooses the evening date program.
7. 7 Prepare the contraceptive you need. If you are using contraceptives, keep them ready or take them ahead of time (for example, if you are a woman in a heterosexual relationship and are taking birth control pills).This way, in your outburst of passion, you can relax and enjoy the process, instead of worrying about having to run to the pharmacy or worrying about the risk of unwanted pregnancy or getting an STI (sexually transmitted infection).
   • Remember that condoms are widely available, inexpensive and, when used correctly, are the best prevention of pregnancy and protection from STIs.
   • Talk to your healthcare provider or visit a family planning center to learn more about contraception options.