Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: The Daily Struggle
• Part 2 of 3: Confronting the Liar
• Part 3 of 3: Try to understand the liar
• Tips
• Warnings
• Additional articles

Well, when someone says to you, “I didn't have anything with this woman,” it's real kindergarten, right? Excellent. What are we to do with this person? Well, for starters, you have to be very careful. If you want this person to stay in your life (and you have every right not to want), you must remain calm and learn to deal with him without losing patience.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: The Daily Struggle

1. 1 Be on your guard. Prepare yourself that you cannot trust this person and that everything he says is unreliable. Expect a completely different result than what you promised. In other words, remember who you are dealing with.
   • When we love someone, it's easy to forget about reality. It is easy to put hopes on a person and give him the benefit of the doubt. It's easy to believe this person is good. Unfortunately, not in this case. You need to be on your guard.
2. 2 Take notes. Not the funnest thing in a relationship, but great proof. If you need to make sure that you are not crazy or that you are not muddying the waters, you need to record all incidents. Or, when going to a psychologist together, you can show this as information about the problem.
   • It will also help refresh your memory. There may be a point where you say, “You know, that time I got mad at you about your lies about… well, you know what I’m talking about.” Instead, take out your notebook and shed some light on what the man lied to you. That you bought ketchup at the store? Why do you even need to lie about it?
3. 3 Concentrate on the relationship itself. Instead of constantly focusing on incessant lies, pay attention to the quality of your relationship. Lying undermines trust between you. But you still care about this person, even though his behavior darkens your happiness. It's not about the liars, it's about the lies and the two of you.
4. 4 Don't trust what happens in the hottest moments. If a big lie is revealed, the liar can finally tell the truth. Hurray, huh ?! Not so fast. They may think that after that you will stop watching them. So instead of celebrating a victory, make sure it's not a pretense.
   • Some pathological liars will never do this. They will sit and stare at you, and this will be the only admission of guilt that you will ever get from them. We'll have to be content with this. Know that they know what you know. It costs a lot.
5. 5 Ignore them. When an incorrigible liar starts his "true" story, ignore it if you know that this is sheer absurdity. If he starts talking about how he bred ferrets for the Queen of England, limit yourself to a little "Uh-huh." Perhaps the person will take your hint, or maybe you yourself have plenty of fun.
   • You can try to delete this lie. Social norms teach us to be nice and pay attention to what other people say, but they break the rules, why can't we? If they ask why you are indifferent, be honest. Because you don't think their lies are worthy of attention.
6. 6 Be patient. If you want to remain friends / partners / colleagues, you will need to be flexible. This person has problems that are not easy to deal with. Use all your strength to be patient. We all have our own problems, but this one is especially annoying to everyone around.
   • Talk to someone else around you. It will be much easier for you to discuss the problem with someone who is in a similar situation. You can try to join forces to resolve this issue.
7. 7 You don't have to start a battle on every occasion. If the lies range from “Yes, I put in some new toilet paper” to “I helped Britney Spears shave her head,” it's pretty obvious that you will have to choose your battles. Leave the small lie alone (ignore it) and argue over the big one (if you still have the strength to do so).
   • If you decide to argue, choose what you don't understand. It's understandable why we want to look good so that others envy us, but why lie about the amount of mayonnaise left in the fridge? If you feel like it, discuss it.

Part 2 of 3: Confronting the Liar

1. 1 offer a way out before turning to the lie. If you notice a lie the size of an elephant, it is not entirely smart to immediately shout "This is an obvious lie!"The conversation will turn in the wrong direction in which you would like. Instead, begin the indictment lighter so that the accused has a chance to admit they were wrong.
   • Let's say you found out that your boyfriend did not go to his mom to help her around the house. Instead of saying that you spoke to his mom and you know the truth, ask him how he spent time with his mom. And only then, you can say that she called and ask about the reason for his lies.
2. 2 Break this habit, over and over again. The strangest thing to do is the first time. After that, it's as easy as shelling pears. When you catch a person in a lie, let him know that this is not entirely accurate, not entirely true, but do not behave like a judge. Just be direct, calm and clear.
   • You will have to fight this over and over again until the person understands. But very soon a person will develop a reflex that his next lie will be destroyed anyway. The main obstacle? Be patient.
3. 3 Hint at a habit of lying. This is a shaky territory. You need to let the person know that you follow his actions, do not tell him about it in plain text. You need to be very tactful in this matter. The next time he talks about how he defused bombs, ask, "Is this a story as true as your stories of how you made a living by catching ferrets?" And if a person begins to convince you that this story is much truer than the story with ferrets, remain calm, smile and say that his series of lies speaks for itself.
   • You are not doing your heavy duty, that is not at all. You just let the person know that after all that lies, it will be difficult for you to believe the word that flew out of their mouth. This is logical, reasonable and difficult to refute - it is true.
4. 4 Offer treatment. It can be very annoying. If you are close enough to the person that you can be honest with them, offer treatment. Psychotherapists are not for the crazy, they are for those who want to improve themselves. If you have ever seen a therapist or know someone who did, share this example. Many people see seeing a therapist as a weakness, but in fact it is very positive and life-affirming.

Part 3 of 3: Try to understand the liar

1. 1 Understand the difference between a pathological liar and a scoundrel. If you meet a person and suddenly find out that he does not multiply six-digit numbers in his head, cheats on you and does not speak French, most likely he is just a pathetic excuse for a person. People who lie to make themselves look their best are just narrow-minded, reckless, unworthy idiots. These are not pathological liars.
   • People who have earned this title lie about everything. Their lies do not create any positive or negative impression on people, there is no particular reason for their lies. They will tell you that they saw a duck on the lake yesterday, but in fact there is no lake. They lie as naturally as they breathe.
2. 2 Understand why they are lying. For most, lying is very comfortable. The truth can scare them. If the person is actually a pathological deceiver, this is just a symptom of another, more significant problem. Here are some possible reasons for their lies:
   • Family Disorder (Insufficient Attention)
   • Childhood sexual or physical abuse
   • Mental retardation, learning disabilities, and so on
   • Impairment of impulse control (kleptomania, addiction to gambling, addiction to shopping, etc.)
   • Personality disorder (sociopathy, narcissism, pretense, etc.)
   • Drug abuse or drug abuse in the family
3. 3 Know they might hate themselves for it. Many pathological deceivers have low self-esteem, this is the root cause of their lies. They want to appear to those around them whom they could be proud of. While the liars do not deserve your pity, it is important to understand the reason for their lies.
   • When dealing with your cheater, do not forget about it. It will help you stay more rational, logical, and calm. You are dealing with not just a careless fool, but a careless fool who hates himself. Put it back in place.
4. 4 Don't forget about yourself. First of all, take care of yourself. You may be in a serious relationship with this person, but don't let them control your emotions and happiness. That's life. You are not withdrawing from this person, you are simply protecting yourself.
   • If you decide to stay, fight and be strong. If you don’t help yourself, you cannot help that person. Don't forget about your happiness! It’s not your job, you don’t have to fix and change this person. If you decide to stay with him, take small steps. But always be on your guard!

Tips

• They lie not only to you, they lie to everyone. This is their problem and it has nothing to do with you personally or your actions in relation to them.

Warnings

• Be cool. Heated arguments will get you nowhere.
• A person who behaves in this way with others must seek help himself. The best scenario is if he finally sees that his actions are hurting others, and it should also hurt and unpleasant for him (although, everyone has different ways).

Additional articles

How to deal with people who humiliate you How to make him miss you How to behave with a girl if she ignores you How to know if your girlfriend likes someone else How to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you How to get a girl who is very angry with you forgiven How to get revenge on a guy who offended you Telling a man that he offended you How to get a person to leave you alone How to restore trust How to take care of your boyfriend How to understand that your girlfriend wants to break up with you How to make peace with a guy after a fight How to deal with a friend who betrayed you