Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Think through the apology
• Method 2 of 3: Offer a sincere apology
• Method 3 of 3: Avoid Common Apology Mistakes
• Warnings

Apologizing is not an easy task. You may not want to apologize because of pride or fear. Your relationship with your mom is of great value. Apologies are worth relieving the stress they entail. Think carefully before apologizing. Plan what you want to say. Then sincerely ask your mom for forgiveness. However, don't rush her. It may take a while for her to accept your apology.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Think through the apology

1. 1 Let go of the blame. We often apologize with hesitation and resentment. If you feel like you’re not at fault, you may feel that there is no need to ask for forgiveness. However, if you made a mistake that hurt your mom, then an apology is imperative. You should be aware of your role in hurting another person. Don't blame others.
   • You may feel that the mistake is not entirely yours. It is likely that this is the case. In life, situations rarely occur when the blame completely falls on one person. External factors can easily influence the decision and lead to the wrong thing to do.
   • However, apologizing is not about who or what to blame. Apologizing means accepting responsibility (however small) for your actions.Even if your mistake was mostly triggered by other people or a situation, it hurt your mom.
   • For example, your brother talked you into skipping Mom's birthday. Even though it was your brother's idea, you still missed the holiday. You should take responsibility for this.
2. 2 Consider writing a letter. You don't have to ask for forgiveness in person. Deliberate writing can be just as effective (and sometimes more effective).
   • If you're feeling anxious or embarrassed, there may be more sense in writing the letter. For an apology to work, it must be sincere and thoughtful. If you find it difficult to fully express your feelings in person, it is probably best to write a letter.
   • It may also be a good option if your mom is the kind of person who can be difficult to talk to. If you are worried that your mom will get angry and prevent you from speaking, send her a thoughtful letter. For example, if she's still angry that you missed her party, a personal apology can easily turn into an argument. Writing is probably the best solution. Make sure your thoughts are clear and understandable.
3. 3 Try to be sincere. A sincere apology is more likely to be accepted. Before asking for a petition, take some time and analyze your actions. This will help you truly understand why you were wrong, which will allow you to apologize more effectively.
   • Think about why you were wrong. Consider your role in this mistake and how it hurt other people's feelings. Make sure you are willing to admit it. Practice your speech and be sure to acknowledge your contribution to the situation.
   • For example, don't say, "I'm sorry that my friend Masha convinced me to take your car without asking." Better to say, "I'm sorry I took your car without asking." Be sure to convey to your mom that you really understand that you did wrong.
   • Don't try to ask for forgiveness until you truly believe in what you say. You may need to spend some time analyzing your actions and doing a few rehearsals of an apology. Try to show empathy for your mother. Think about how you would feel in her place.
4. 4 Come up with specific ways to fix your mistake. Apology is just the beginning, not the end. In addition to the apology, you will need to show your mom that you have learned from the situation and are ready to change. Think of several ways to show your mom that you want to make amends.
   • Remorse will seem empty if you do not communicate how you are ready to change. Think about what you have done and write down several ways to prevent it from happening in the future.
   • For example, you and a friend took your mom's car. Think about the circumstances that led to this. Perhaps this friend often gets you into trouble. You may have consumed alcohol at that time, which led to a weakening of internal inhibitions. You can put it this way: “I will try to spend less time with Masha, especially when I have a drink. I don’t like the kind of person I become under the influence of alcohol, and I know that I should not let Masha drag me into this. ”

Method 2 of 3: Offer a sincere apology

1. 1 Begin by expressing your sincere remorse. Don't beat around the bush. The point of an apology is to express remorse, so do it right away and without hesitation. Start with these words: "I am very sorry for what I did and for the pain it caused you."
   • Strive to speak sincerely. If you don't feel genuine regret, chances are your mom will understand. Be sure to get into the situation with your mom's feelings in mind. Ask yourself how you would feel in the same situation.
   • If you are writing a letter, apply the same rule. You can start your letter something like this: "Dear Mom, I am truly sorry that my actions have hurt you."
2. 2 Express regret. Regret should be expressed immediately after the initial apology. Regret allows you to show that you really considered your mistake and understood why your actions were wrong. It doesn't matter if you ask for forgiveness in person or in writing, express your regret immediately after the first “sorry”.
   • Always take full responsibility for your actions. Of course, you can explain the circumstances that influenced you, but do not do it in such a way as if you are denying your guilt.
   • For example, say something like: “I drank that evening when we took your car, and Masha sometimes puts a lot of pressure on me. However, there is no excuse for what we have done. Despite the fact that I was not myself that night, I had to realize that this behavior is unacceptable. "
3. 3 Acknowledge your mom's feelings. This can be the hardest part of an apology. You may feel uncomfortable remembering that your actions hurt another person. However, this is one of the main aspects of an apology. Your mom will feel better if her feelings are recognized.
   • In a few sentences, suggest what your mom might be experiencing. Express remorse for contributing to these feelings.
   • For example: “You must have been very worried, not knowing where your car was. I think when you found out that I had it, you became upset and felt betrayed. I'm sure you were very worried all that night. I am sincerely sorry to have put you in this position. I am disgusted that my behavior influenced you so much. "
4. 4 Don't place the blame on the other person. When apologizing, you should never place the blame on the other person. You may not have complete control over your actions. However, you are not apologizing for the circumstances surrounding your behavior. You apologize for your role in this incident. Keep this in mind throughout the apology process.
   • Explain briefly and avoid anything that might sound like an excuse.
   • For example: "I'm sorry that Masha convinced me to take the car." Yes, your friend may have pushed you to make a mistake, but still you made it. A more effective excuse would be: "I'm sorry that I did not contradict Masha and took the car without asking."
5. 5 Ask for forgiveness. Always end an apology with a request for forgiveness. This leaves room for reconciliation. You can use a simple phrase such as, "I hope you can find a way to forgive me and move on."
   • Understand that it takes time to forgive, especially when it comes to a big mistake. Try to be aware of this when you ask for forgiveness. For example, you might add something like, “I understand that it may take a while before you can let go of this pain. You have as much time at your disposal as you need. "

Method 3 of 3: Avoid Common Apology Mistakes

1. 1 Give mom time and space if needed. Don't always expect an apology to be accepted right away. This can take time if you make a major mistake. Be prepared to give your mom the time it takes to forgive you.
   • If you are asking for forgiveness, understand that “I'm sorry” is not enough. If you've made a mistake that seriously damaged your mom's trust, then apologizing is just the beginning of the healing process.
   • In the weeks that follow, don't use an apology to deny your mom's feelings. Perhaps she will still be worried for a while, and if she expresses her feelings, accept them and be patient. Avoid phrases like, “Well, I apologized a week ago. What more do you want? "
2. 2 Don't use phony apology language. Sometimes language takes away the power of an apology. Watch your words when asking for forgiveness. Do not in any way use any words or phrases that might make your apology look more like an excuse.
   • One of the biggest mistakes is to say something like, "I'm sorry, but ...". If you want to add "but", refrain from it. Just go to apologizing for your actions.
   • Also, remember that you are apologizing for your actions. You are not asking forgiveness for your circumstances or your mom's feelings. Don't say, "I'm sorry I upset you." Say, "I'm sorry for what I did." Don't say, "I'm sorry the situation is out of control." Better to say, "I am sorry for my role in this situation."
3. 3 If necessary, give your mom some space before apologizing. You might want to ask for forgiveness as quickly as possible. However, remember that your apology is about your mom, not you. If your mom isn't ready to listen to you, give her a few days before trying to apologize.
   • If your mom looks really angry, it may be best not to apologize right away. If your mom is offended and upset, she will not be so willing to listen to your point of view.
   • However, don't wait more than a few days. If you wait for weeks to ask for forgiveness, you will seem like a cold person. You may get the impression that you have not considered it necessary to apologize. Don't wait more than a few days before trying to ask for forgiveness.
4. 4 Back up your apology with action. An apology is a means to close a situation. It is not the end in itself. After you've outlined a few ways to change, follow them. Beyond the words themselves, show your mom that you've learned from your mistakes.
   • Think about the potential reasons for your actions. How can these actions be prevented in the future? Think of several possible ways to change and take these steps.
   • For example, you borrowed your mom’s car without asking, and you’re drinking and spending time with a friend who’s in trouble. You can stop drinking and limit contact with this friend. You can also be more honest with your mom about where you are going and with whom. Try to be more respectful of its rules.

Warnings

• Remember that it may take a while for the apology to be accepted. If you've made a serious mistake, don't expect your mom to forgive you right away.