Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women
• Method 2 of 3: Stereotypes about men
• Method 3 of 3: Understanding Men Better
• Tips

If you are serious about learning to understand men, first you should realize the main thing: men and women are from the same planet. Although scientific research has identified some differences between men and women, women and men are much more similar than in the myths that surround them. If you want to better understand men, it is important to consider both the similarities and differences between men and women, but also remember that each man is a unique person with his own hopes and needs.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women

1. 1 Know that men are more competitive. Scientists have found that men are more likely than women to agree to work, the payment of which depends on getting the result better than the result of colleagues.You may also know from personal experience that men are more interested in sports than women (as observers and as players). Many men behave this way because they enjoy the competition. They like to have qualities and skills that allow them to excel. If you are playing a game with a man, do not be surprised if he becomes more aggressive and ruthless as the game progresses to his disadvantage. Treat this with humor and do not attach too much importance to such behavior.
   • Support the man in his passion for competitive hobbies. You will notice that many of the stereotypical hobbies of men (video games, sports, including extreme sports) are built on a spirit of competition. Since it is important for men to win in competition, you should encourage the man to do activities that allow him to get what he needs in a relatively safe environment.
2. 2 Know that men are more visual oriented. Vision is one of the strongest human senses. A lot of brain power is spent on processing visual impulses, and men are more focused on the perception of visual images than women. You may find that men prefer to see the map rather than being guided by verbal instructions. Perhaps for the same reason, one of your male acquaintances will say that he must first see the problem, and then think about whether he can solve it. Try not to get annoyed with this feature and perceive it as an innate trait that the person himself may not be aware of.
   • Don't be offended if a man looks at other women. The increased attention to visual stimuli means that a person can stare (even for a long time) at beautiful people. Do not think about what is not: if a man is looking at a woman in a blouse with a low cut, this does not mean that he automatically wants to have sex with her. These short glances are usually harmless and are more of a reflex than a sign of wanting another relationship.
3. 3 Be aware that men and women participate in conversations in different ways. Scientists have found that these differences begin to show in childhood, when little girls get closer, sharing secrets with each other and discussing problems, while boys are united by joint activities and interests. If you want your boyfriend or husband to be like a girlfriend, only better, you might be surprised: conversations are not the main communication tool for men, and men change topics more often than women. In addition, men are less likely to make eye contact when talking. Usually their gaze wanders to nearby objects.
   • Do not punish a man for these differences and do not complain that he never listens to you. If you really want a man to participate in a discussion of an important topic, formulate the question or sentence in such a way that he can make an effort on himself and focus. For example, like this: "I need to talk to you about this, and I will be very grateful if you can listen to me carefully." If a man is not indifferent to you, he will try to actively participate in the conversation.
   • Be prepared to receive a solution to the problem in return. Another feature of the male communication style is that men are focused on finding a solution to a problem. If you want the man to just listen to you and support you, and not tell how you can solve the problem, tell him about it at the beginning of the conversation. Remember that he is trying to find a solution because you are important to him and because that is the purpose of the conversation. He's not trying to tell you what to do.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

   
   
   Family Therapist Allen Wagner is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his MA in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004.He specializes in working with individual clients and couples, helping them improve relationships. Together with his wife, Talia Wagner, he wrote the book "Married Roommates".

   Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
   Family psychotherapist

   Notice when your partner is trying to communicate with you the way you want. Family therapist Allen Wagner notes: “If a person tries to do something new (like giving compliments) and you interrupt them because you don't think the compliment is good enough, you will never get what you hope for. Everything will go back to the very beginning. But if you celebrate the person’s attempt and thank him for it (“Thank you for your words”), he will like to compliment and he will try to do it again. "

   
   
4. 4 Be aware that men may not always recognize emotions as quickly as women. Remember the stereotype that a man can piss off a woman and won't even know what it is. It is possible that the man is not pretending and does not really know why the woman is upset and if she is upset. Since women have a better developed limbic system, they are better at recognizing and reading emotions. This skill was useful in ancient times when women were responsible for maintaining social bonds in society. Men cope with this task worse.
   • Don't expect a man to read your mind. If the man upset you, explain to him what the problem is, calmly and objectively. Once he understands how you are feeling, he can take action to remedy the situation. If you remain silent, it is possible that he will not be able to understand your hints.
   • Don't put pressure on the man. Men are less likely to discuss their personal issues with friends, so you may find that men are more comfortable thinking about them alone. If a man refuses to discuss his personal problems with you, do not insist and give him the opportunity to deal with everything himself. The man will tell you everything himself if he wants to share something.
5. 5 Know that it is more difficult for men to just be friends with women. Research indicates that men in platonic relationships with women are more likely to feel sympathy and often mistakenly believe that women are attracted to them. While women may show signs of attraction to their male friends, they are more likely to back down if they know the man is in a relationship; men are less intimidated by the presence of a couple in a friend, because of which they may continue to try to please her.
   • This does not mean that all of your male friends are in love with you. After all, a man might have been attracted by some other girl and ask you for advice.
6. 6 Know that men and women can handle work tasks in different ways. Although men and women may be busy with the same task and may work in the same office, they approach tasks differently. Men are focused on a specific task, while women are more focused on the process. Women ask more questions, men find it harder to listen. However, both men and women believe that the opposite sex does not consider the needs of others in the workplace.
   • Men and women react differently to stress at work. Women openly express concern about failure, and men tend to be alone and experience failure on their own.
   • Women and men also need approval in different ways. Women love to be praised for collective projects, while men prefer to be praised for their personal achievements.

Method 2 of 3: Stereotypes about men

1. 1 Don't think that all men want to sleep with all women. It may seem to you that your boyfriend, male friend or colleague wants sex with any woman on the planet, this is not this way... Although men look at women in their environment and can view them judgmental, they are quite selective in their choice of sexual partners.
   • If you're sure your boyfriend wants to sleep with all the women around, why are you still dating him? If this is a trait of his character and it really causes problems in the relationship, this is one thing. But if you think that he only wants it because he is a man, you should reconsider your views.
   • Of course, you can have ladies' friends. But remember that men like to say that they would like to sleep with many women, just for the sake of appearance. This does not mean that they really intend to follow their plan.
2. 2 Don't assume that men hate female movies and vanilla dates. You might think that your boyfriend hates the places and activities you choose to date, but he doesn't. Sure, he may complain that you make him watch Love Actually for the third time, but he actually enjoys doing what you want to do because it makes you happy.
   • Remind yourself that if the guy didn't want to do something, he wouldn't do it. You also have this right.
3. 3 Don't think that men are emotionless. Think of Tony Soprano: a tough guy on the outside and a gentle and sensitive man on the inside. Indeed, women hide their feelings less and talk more about them, but this does not mean that men do not have feelings, that they cannot be offended, that they do not know how to sympathize and feel empathy. Many men are not inclined to show emotions, but this does not mean that they do not feel them.
   • Men - not savages with basic needs: food, sex, sleep. Get rid of this view
4. 4 Do not think that men always thinking about sex. Sure, men may think about sex more often than women, especially during their teens, but that doesn't mean they only have one thing on their minds at any given time. Like everyone else, men think about their friends, family, their hopes and dreams, and career opportunities. If a beautiful woman in heels walks by, the man will instantly be distracted, but this does not mean that thoughts about sex occupy all of his time.
5. 5 Don't think that men only like beautiful women. Both men and women can first of all pay attention to beautiful people. It may seem that men need a beautiful body and preferably a pretty face, but all this does not matter if the man has serious intentions about a particular woman. Do not think that you can only attract a man's attention with the help of work on your body, cosmetics and tight-fitting clothes. Impress him with your charm, intelligence and ability to keep an interesting conversation.
   • Of course, for some men, appearance is more important than it deserves, but women can behave in the same way.
6. 6 Do not think that men are more prone to cheating than women. It may seem that all men are cheating. After all, how can you forget the Tiger Woods scandal? However, both women and men are capable of cheating, even if women seek emotional closeness and men seek physical intimacy. Do not think that a man will cheat on you simply because he is a man. If he does, the reason will be that he is looking for connections outside of your relationship.
   • This does not mean that there are no dishonest people among men. But they also exist among women.
7. 7 Don't assume men don't want a serious relationship. It may seem that all men are afraid of serious relationships and the phrase: "I think it's time for you to get to know my parents." In fact, men are also looking for a serious relationship. Those who do not need a relationship are fewer than those who strive for it. Remember that there are also people among women who don't want anything serious.
   • If the man you like is afraid to build a serious relationship with you, don't explain this to yourself by the fact that he is a typical man. Men can leave relationships for many reasons, including lack of experience and past relationships.
8. 8 Don't assume that all men are afraid of strong women. Of course, a man can be intimidated by a strong woman - if it's Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey. But more often than not, men are attracted to confident women who know what they want and how to achieve it. Don't be silly or cute just to impress a guy. If you want a man to take you seriously, be yourself.
   • To be strong means to be confident in yourself. Everyone loves confidence.

Method 3 of 3: Understanding Men Better

1. 1 Learn to understand the male ego. If you want to better understand men, try to understand how the male ego works.
2. 2 Learn to give your man more freedom.. This will have a positive effect on your relationship in the long run.
3. 3 Find out how men behave in long-term relationships. This will allow you to understand what a man who wants a serious relationship is thinking.
4. 4 Help your boyfriend get through depression. Understanding a depressed man is not easy.
5. 5 Work on your relationship. Knowing how you can improve relationships can help you understand men better.

Tips

• Remember that the information in this article is based on generalizations. It may not apply to everyone you know.
• If your boyfriend is depressed, hug him. This will calm him down.
• If your guy hasn't spoken to you for more than 2-3 weeks, ask him why this is happening. Don't bother him if it's only been an hour. Give him time.
• Men can't read minds. They won't understand exactly what you are thinking until you say it. Try to explain to the man what you would like to receive from him.