Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: How to Decide
• Part 2 of 3: How to make changes
• Part 3 of 3: How to be a happy person
• Tips
• Warnings

There are many reasons and ways to start a new life. For example, you recently broke up with a partner who treated you badly and want to start a new, healthy, happy life away from that person. Perhaps you do not like your current place of residence, and you decided to move to start all over again. Regardless of the goals and reasons for such changes, you can always start a new life if you think carefully about everything, plan and control yourself on the way to the goal.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: How to Decide

1. 1 Determine your motivation. It is necessary to think carefully in order to understand the reasons for such a desire. There are many compelling reasons for this decision, although some of them may turn out to be false.
   • For example, if your adult children have taken a step into independent life and you are left alone in your home for the first time in many years, then the moment for change is quite suitable: you no longer need to constantly monitor the children, so now you have the opportunity to pay more attention to yourself.
   • On the other hand, making changes in your life as an attempt to avoid unpleasant feelings will not be the best solution, since leaving will not solve your problems. Emotions will follow you everywhere and therefore it is better to first deal with problems, and then start a new life.
2. 2 Consider the recent major events in your life. Major events such as being fired from work, parting with a partner, getting married, the death of a loved one, graduating from school, changing financial or health conditions, moving or getting pregnant have a profound effect on emotions. Some of them bring joy, others cause stress, depression and anxiety. If you recently experienced a major event in your life, then you should understand that your judgments now may not be the most objective, so it is better not to rush into other important decisions.
   • If you have experienced bereavement, do not rush your grief. Mourning and grief is an important step in exploring and accepting your grief, which will help you adjust to your new life after loss. There is no need to rush through changes or feel the need to “get through” such a stage as soon as possible.
3. 3 Analyze your past. If you want to start a new life effectively, then consider your past habits. It is important to make sure that your desires are based on the right motivation and are not an attempt to run away from the past. Avoiding problems will not solve anything.
   • For example, do you have a habit of “dodging” or running away from trouble? Researchers argue that the necessary growth over oneself is possible only in the case of working through positive and negative emotions and situations. How do you react to difficulties? Are you continuing to pursue your goal or are you veering off the path?
4. 4 Consider your values. Personal values ​​are the roadmap for your life. They are the foundation of your beliefs about yourself, others, and life in general. Examine your values ​​before making important decisions like a fresh start. Knowing what matters most to you can help you make the right decisions to support those values. Accept yourself to take the first step towards important change.
   • Ask yourself a series of questions. For example, name two people you admire. Why do you respect them? Why? How can you apply such qualities in your life?
   • Think about which aspects motivate and inspire you the most. For example, are you always in awe of new inventions and want to be part of the innovation process? Does information about social projects fuel your curiosity and desire to take action? These questions will help you understand what you value most - innovation, ambition, helping people, social justice.
   • Remember that personal values ​​are never "worse" or "better." Someone appreciates adaptability, but for someone there is nothing more important than stability. This cannot be "mistaken." You just need to accept yourself and live in harmony with yourself. Core Values ​​Lists can be found online if you need help with this matter.
   • According to research, people tend to value their social relationships highly, as well as being helpful and respectful at work. If you are lacking one of these aspects, then you can focus your "new life" on precisely such moments.
5. 5 Determine the desired scale of change. For some people, "new life" includes a complete renewal: moving, new acquaintances, new jobs and much more. For others, this may mean smaller, but more significant changes - abandoning old habits or attitudes and striving to build life in accordance with their values. In any case, you need to be clear about the scale of the change.
   • At this stage, it is helpful to understand what exactly needs to be changed. For example, what usually makes you feel upset or dissatisfied? Need to change your life to the core, or is it more beneficial to focus on one or two aspects? Change is not easy, so sometimes it's best to start small and build momentum over time.
6. 6 Try the exercise to your best self. This exercise will help you identify goals and needed changes. Researchers believe that this kind of exercise can help you experience happiness and stay motivated. Try to imagine yourself at some point in the future.In such a future, you have a wonderful opportunity to realize all your goals and dreams. You can become exactly who you want to become.
   • Provide all the details of the situation. Who is next to you? Where do you live? What do you do? What are your feelings? Use as much detail as possible. For example, you can imagine yourself as a successful independent musician with your own band touring the country and playing small venues.
   • Now consider the qualities and skills that are required to bring this situation to life. What do you already have? What needs to be changed? Don't be fooled. For example, if you want to become a musician, then you may already have musical skills, or at least a love of music. You may also need business knowledge to work on.
   • Use a positive and achievable picture. Obviously, you cannot turn into a superhero like Superman - this is unrealistic and impossible. At the same time, you can imagine what aspects will help you become similar on him. Say you admire Superman's dedication to justice? This goal can be realized in another way - to become a policeman or a lawyer. Do you appreciate his physical strength? Imagine getting in shape or becoming a personal trainer and helping others.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Carmela Resuma, MPP

   
   
   Travel Specialist Carmela Resuma is the Executive Director of FLYTE, a nonprofit organization based in Georgetown, Texas that brings new opportunities to students from outlying areas through travel. He holds an MA in Political Analysis from New York University. Her passion is to inspire youth, change society and travel.

   Carmela Resuma, MPP
   Travel specialist

   Prioritize your dreams... Carmela Rezuma, CEO of FLYTE: “My husband and I got married in 2011 and were thinking about a honeymoon with a large-scale trip around the world. It was our crazy dream and there was so much at stake. At the time, we were paying off the mortgage and working full-time. But my husband took a vacation, and I quit my job. We just made the dream come true. "

   
   
7. 7 Set goals. As Lao Tzu once said: "The path of a thousand miles begins with one step." Your journey should begin with the steps you will take on the road to your new life. Clear personal goals will be your guiding star at the very beginning of your new life.
   • Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, and 20+ years.
   • Set personal goals. Use SMART to keep goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.
   • Define a global goal first and then break it down into smaller tasks. Divide them into even smaller sub-tasks.
   • For example, if you decide to become a police officer because you want to serve people and defend justice, then this is your global goal. To do this, you will need to solve several problems or take action. For example, you might want to tidy up your fitness to take a fitness exam, talk to a human resources worker, and find out what education you can get. Divide such tasks into specific sub-tasks - start exercising three times a week, find the phone number of the HR department on the Internet, and also find out what you need to enter an educational institution or take courses.
   • It is important to set clear and specific goals. This article will help you with this.

Part 2 of 3: How to make changes

1. 1 Formulate the required changes. For large-scale changes, the list can be very long. If your ideas are not so big (looking for a new job or a new way of looking at the world), then the list of changes may be shorter.In general, it is usually necessary to consider change in several aspects: physical, emotional, geographic, social, financial and career.
2. 2 Plan physical changes. Sometimes, changes in health or fitness can feel like the beginning of a new life. Perhaps you are overweight and want to lead a healthier lifestyle. Perhaps you preferred a sedentary life, and now decided to prepare and run a marathon. Fortunately, physical changes are some of the most doable. Form healthy habits and discuss your plans with your doctor so as not to take risks.
   • Losing weight is the most common New Year's promise, which is usually broken in the first days of the new year. If you are looking to change your weight or it is causing health problems, it is important to discuss safe and effective weight loss methods with your doctor. Your healthcare professional will most likely recommend a combination of exercise and healthy eating habits. For severe weight problems, your doctor may recommend weight loss surgery or medication. You should not take any action before consulting a specialist.
   • Eating right is easy if you know where to start. Don't see your task as "going on a diet." It is better to take this as a transition to a healthy lifestyle. Include plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and processed and unhealthy foods in your diet.
   • Getting in shape is the fifth most popular New Year's promise. Unfortunately, only 22% of Russians regularly go in for sports several times a week. Try to find at least 150 minutes a week for moderate-intensity aerobic exercise and strength training at least twice a week.
   • Choose the appropriate style of dress. Clothing affects self-esteem, as well as the assessment of a person by others. According to research, dressing according to your goals is more likely to achieve what you want. Therefore, do not be afraid to go out in that black dress that you have dreamed of for a long time, or show your hobbies with a pattern on a T-shirt.
3. 3 Bring emotional change to life. Changes in yourself and your reactions to emotions can take a long time, but they are extremely rewarding. Such changes will help you look at the world differently and feel like you have really started a new life. Any self-development is an ongoing process that will continue throughout your life. Consider some ideas for the first steps:
   • Keep a gratitude journal. Gratitude is not just an attitude. This is an approach to life and a willingness to be aware of even the smallest moments of kindness and beauty. Research shows that gratitude can increase happiness and life satisfaction, help us become more flexible and adapt to change, improve physical health, improve sleep quality, and cope with traumatic events. Take five minutes a day to write down the things you are grateful for. Think about the reasons for your gratitude and the aspects they bring to your life.
   • Farewell. Forgiveness frees us from the burden of past hurt and pain. It is important to forgive people not for the sake of others, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes people less likely to feel anger and anxiety.
   • Grieve for the loss. Take your time and allow yourself to mourn the loss. It takes time and patience to grieve properly. It is important to acknowledge your grief in order to cope with the situation and intelligently incorporate it into your new life.
   • Accept your own needs. People are too often taught to deny themselves the proper care. Recognize that fulfilling your needs is not selfishness. You don't always have to say yes to every request and invitation. Taking time for yourself is the right thing to do. Taking care of yourself allows you not only to feel better, but also to interact positively with other people.
4. 4 Determine the desired geographic changes. Sometimes moving to a new place of residence is a sufficient step to start a new life. In this case, you will probably have to find a new job, form a new circle of friends and get used to a new environment. You will need to rely on yourself, get to know people, become more flexible and adapt to new conditions - these are all great qualities for a new life.
   • Leaving your comfort zone has been shown to increase productivity and the likelihood of business success. The reason lies in the fact that a person begins to put more effort and becomes more attentive in a new and uncomfortable situation.
   • Research the question to find the best place to live. You should consider crime and unemployment rates, the average cost of living and real estate, and the availability of places and activities that match your culture and hobbies.
   • Look online for lists of the best cities to live in. This will be a good start to your search. You can also look for quality of life ratings.
   • Chat with people who live in cities of interest to you, if possible. Visit the places and look around. The more information you gather, the better prepared you will be for an important step.
5. 5 Analyze your relationship. It's hard to start a new life if toxic people drag you down. Sometimes you just need to erase people from life for your own safety. Other times it's just not worth spending time with. Stop communicating and feel like a happier person. Interpersonal interactions and relationships greatly affect how you feel about yourself and your life. Research shows that we are strongly influenced by the people we interact with, so for your new life, choose the people who mean more to you and give you the love and respect you deserve. Signs of the Inappropriate Person:
   • You feel tired after communication or fear meeting again.
   • The person strongly criticizes or discusses you and it seems to you that you are doing everything wrong.
   • The person speaks rudely or viciously about you in private conversations or behind your back.
   • You are literally obsessed with the person, as if you cannot live without him, even if he does not pay attention to you.
   • You are constantly nervous in the presence of a person.
   • You are not ready to share your dreams, thoughts, needs, or feelings with him.
   • During rehabilitation, drug addicts and alcoholics need to avoid the places where they spend time, as well as many old friends, so as not to fall prey to triggers that can provoke a relapse. If you are recovering from alcoholism, then meeting old drinking companions at your favorite bar can be too difficult and force you to return to old habits. In such a situation, it is important to form a caring social circle that will help you avoid old habits.
   • Social change is also helpful if you are recovering from violence in a family or relationship. Many victims of domestic violence lead an isolated lifestyle, as the abusive partner wants to limit their social circle in order to fully control the person. The ability to find social support and caring people will greatly help you in a new life without an abusive partner. Seek help from support groups for victims of domestic violence, faith-based organizations, and professionals such as a counseling psychologist and therapist.
6. 6 Organize your social life. Getting rid of toxic relationships is often very difficult. Whatever one may say, you probably would not start a relationship with a person if you did not like their traits or qualities. However, it is important to get rid of unhealthy social relationships in order to live a happier life. Tips:
   • Talk to the person first.In some cases, the person may not even be aware that their behavior is hurting you. Be honest and open about your feelings and see if the person wants to change. Otherwise, you are not on your way with him.
   • Assess the need to end communication. Sometimes people we love and who love us may say things that are unpleasant to us. This does not mean that they are "bad" and that you need to completely stop communicating with them. First of all, you need to understand what valuable they bring into your life, even if sometimes the relationship does not develop in the best way. Conversely, just because you feel comfortable around someone doesn’t mean that they care about you. For example, intermediaries help you buy drugs, but this is not good.
   • Develop relationships with people who make you happy. Make a list of people who help you become better, charge you with joy and positiveness. Strengthen relationships with such people so that you do not experience the need communicate with negative people for fear of loneliness.
   • Stop communicating with the person. If you decide that the relationship is doing you more harm, then tell the person that you need to stop communicating for your well-being. Stop seeing each other, crossing over on social media, and getting rid of other relationship reminders.
7. 7 Start a new financial life. Whether you've just graduated or have already worked for 30 years, it's never too early or too late to start over financially. Perhaps you want to start collecting for a big goal like buying a home or retirement savings. Sometimes there is a desire to reconsider your habits in order to spend less on trifles. Explore your goals and decide how best to manage your money to achieve what you want.
   • It is sometimes helpful to speak with a financial planner, especially in matters such as owning a business.
   • Analyze your finances. Determine your financial situation so that you have an idea of ​​assets and liabilities. This will help you make smart financial decisions.
   • It is also helpful for newlyweds to analyze their financial situation. You will probably want to draw up a general budget, combine your assets and choose a new type of insurance that suits you.
   • If you are unable to pay off your debts, then you can start bankruptcy proceedings. Depending on the amount of debt and the amount of income, a significant portion of your debts will be written off, and you will start a new financial life. However, this is a very serious decision with long-term implications for your credit history and overall well-being, so you shouldn't take it lightly. Discuss bankruptcy with lawyers to see if this option is right for you.
8. 8 Change your professional career. This is a great way to start life anew. Many people go to jobs they hate, so this kind of change will be the beginning of a new life. Define your core values ​​(return to the beginning of the article) and choose a career path that aligns with those values.
   • Consider your current skills and abilities. What do you know? What can you do? What unusual skills do you have? For example, you are a truly "outgoing" person who loves to communicate, but this quality is not used in your current job. In addition to ability, it may turn out that communication skills are in line with your values.
   • Don't let your current knowledge and life situation limit your choices. Wherever you start, you can always become anyone. For example, if communication skills suggest that you want to become a psychotherapist or teacher, then this will require additional education, but this is a doable task. You can find a way out in any conditions.
   • Change the way you think about failure. Thinking about failure as an opportunity to learn will stop it getting in the way of achieving the results you want.Don't dwell on a mistake and never let it drag you into the past. Learn from them the experience that is necessary for future success.
   • Set career goals using the SMART system. They must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. Decide where you want to be in six months, in a year, and in five years. Outline the signs by which you can recognize your success.
9. 9 Talk to others. If you have decided to start a new life, it is sometimes helpful to talk to those who are leading the lifestyle you want. This makes it easier to understand the steps that will lead you to your goal. For example, if you want to quit boring corporate work with a familiar schedule and become a personal growth instructor in the Fiji Islands, it is helpful to know how other people have been able to achieve such a goal. Also, such conversations will help you find new acquaintances that will be useful in a new life.
   • It's also important to ask tough questions about your new life. It's easy to idealize a new career or life in a new place. It is necessary to understand the smallest details of life that awaits you in order not to go astray in case of problems.
   • For example, you dream of quitting a boring job in the Kuban and moving to St. Petersburg or Moscow, where life seems like heaven. If you have not discussed life in the capital with other Muscovites, then you risk being surprised at prices, traffic jams and other unexpected things for visitors. This does not mean that the move will certainly disappoint you, but knowledge will help you better adapt to new realities.
10. 10 Get support. New life is a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you, and who will always come to your aid. Knowing that you have emotional support can help you feel empowered and empowered.
    • If you don't have caring relatives or friends, reach out to other people. Support groups and spiritual or religious organizations will always come to the rescue.

Part 3 of 3: How to be a happy person

1. 1 Monitor your condition. Significant changes that will allow you to start a new life require a lot of effort, dedication and patience. They can be scary and stressful. Remember to regularly monitor your condition. How are you feeling? What habits are you trying to form? What are you worried about? Keep a reflection diary so you can understand your emotions and know exactly what you should aim for or when to seek support from loved ones.
   • Major life changes can often cause depression. If you often start to feel sad, feel empty, useless or hopeless, have lost interest in what used to make you happy, lost weight or gained weight, began to sleep worse, often feel anxiety or guilt, or think about self-harm, you should seek help. Talk to your doctor or psychologist. If you have suicidal thoughts, call the emergency services or the crisis helpline at 8 800 333-44-34.
2. 2 Make changes to your plans. In your new life, the ability to adapt to obstacles and challenges will come in handy. Career changes don't mean you'll always be inspired or never underestimated again. Moving to another city can trigger homesickness. Learn to recognize the challenges that come your way and find ways to adapt.
   • You will surely face obstacles. For example, you have always wanted to become a tanker, because your core values ​​include honor and a desire to serve people, but you may find that you do not qualify for growth. This fact can be taken as a dream breakdown or an opportunity to consider other activities that align with your values.
3. 3 Get professional advice. Even if you think you are “okay,” it is sometimes helpful to talk to a psychologist or therapist if you decide to write a new chapter in your life. You have to deal with major changes that are almost always accompanied by stress. A psychotherapist will help you to intelligently and safely analyze your hopes and fears. You will also learn to think correctly and react to possible difficulties.
   • Many people tend to believe that it makes no sense for a person with “everyday” problems to go to a counselor or psychotherapist, since this is only appropriate in the case of “serious” problems. The truth is that a consultation with a specialist is like a preventive checkup with a dentist: you get the opportunity to identify and solve problems in the bud, before they grow to the scale of a disaster.
   • Some people think that going to a psychotherapist is a sign of weakness or that the person is "broken", but there is not a grain of truth in this. Seeing a psychotherapist is a sign that you are taking care of yourself and want to receive timely help so as not to aggravate the new situation.

Tips

• Draw conclusions from past events, but don't dwell on the past.
• Share your plans with loved ones. You still need their support.
• Make a plan. All your attempts should be organized and thoughtful.

Warnings

• New life can be anxiety and depression. Do not forget to take care of yourself and contact a specialist in time in case of atypical emotions or actions for you.
• If you are a victim of domestic violence and want to start a new life, seek help from close friends and family. You can also call the All-Russian Hotline for Women Victims of Domestic Violence: 8-800-7000-600. Leaving an abusive person is dangerous and you will need the help of people you can rely on. Make a plan to keep yourself safe.