Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Improving Relationships
• Method 2 of 3: Engaging in Conversation
• Method 3 of 3: Keeping Distance
• Tips
• Warnings

We all have people we know who are difficult to deal with. Some of them are too demanding or harsh in communication. Others may be arrogant or overly emotional. Either way, dealing with such people can be quite stressful, and the wrong approach can make matters even worse, rather than improve. The tips below can help you improve your relationship with difficult friends, family member, or coworker, or at least help you coexist with them with the least stress and conflict.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Improving Relationships

1. 1 Be nice. Sometimes you can improve your relationship with a difficult person by being a little kinder. Smile and greet the person you find it difficult to deal with. Being friendly is not a sign of weakness.
   • Sometimes a little humor can help. If you know how to insert a friendly joke, then it can start to improve your mood.
2. 2 Compliment. In some cases, a person can be unpleasant in communication, because he feels as if he is not being heard, appreciated and not understood. Make an effort to emphasize at this time that he did something well, and that can also improve the relationship.
3. 3 Look from the side. If you really want to improve your relationship with a difficult person, then it is very important to think about what exactly creates tension in your relationship with this individual, and what may be the reason for your own actions or attitudes.
   • Perhaps you were rude or did something that offended the person with whom you are not going well? If so, you should sincerely apologize.
   • It is also possible that your mannerisms towards this person do not tell him that you are listening to or consider his feelings or needs to be significant.In this case, the inducement factor for improvement can be such a simple thing as slightly changing your non-verbal communication (that is, gestures and intonation) to show the person that you are listening and understanding, or that you are not opposed to him.
4. 4 Don't take it personally. If, after thinking about your behavior and attitude, you come to the conclusion that the difficulties of communicating with the person are not your fault, try not to take their rudeness personally. This is not your problem, this is his attitude.
   • Even so, try to be merciful. Remember that this person may treat you badly because of any difficulties they have experienced in their own life. This does not mean that you should allow him to abuse you, but understanding this issue can improve the relationship.

Method 2 of 3: Engaging in Conversation

1. 1 Keep calm. When talking to a difficult person, stay calm and rational, do not try to win an argument, and do not start a battle that you do not want to fight. You are more likely to feel satisfied if you remain calm and rational.
   • Think before you react. Even if someone is extremely angry or rude at you, the best response is to formulate a calm response. This sets boundaries and sends a signal that the other person needs to calm down.
2. 2 Pay attention to their feelings. As mentioned earlier, many people do not behave well because they do not feel heard or understood. Simply demonstrating that you are listening to them can improve the situation.
   • It would be nice to let the person know that you acknowledge their feelings. Let him know about your guess about his feelings, and ask him to respond by saying something like, "It seems like you are angry right now, and I am sorry that you are in such a mood." This shows your willingness to understand this person's point of view.
   • Ask him why he is so upset. You can show your willingness to empathize even more by asking him to talk about his feelings.
   • Pay attention to really critical comments. If a person is extremely critical of you, then try to find in everything he said a grain of truth, and acknowledge the validity of his point of view, even if his criticism is not entirely fair or accurate. This can reduce the person's feeling of being challenged, even if you later point out exactly where they are being unfair or inaccurate to you.
3. 3 Be clear. When dealing with a difficult person, it is very important to express yourself clearly and openly. Many conflicts arise from misunderstandings.
   • If you can, try to talk to the person face-to-face rather than via email or other technology. This will reduce the risk of misunderstandings and may encourage greater participation.
   • If you need to involve someone in an argument, put written evidence of your point of view on the table and try to steer the discussion towards arguments based on facts rather than someone else's statements or emotions.
4. 4 Focus on the problem, not the person. During the conversation, focus on the question or problem that needs to be solved, not on the person you are dealing with. This will help keep the conversation from getting personal and can lead to more rational thinking on the part of the difficult person.
   • This approach has the added benefit of posing as a problem solver who really cares about solving it and wants to make a difference.
5. 5 Be persistent, but not aggressive. Communicate in a tone that allows you to express your point of view and ideas about the situation clearly, but without overwhelming the other person and does not create the impression that you are not listening to them or are just rude.
   • Where possible, ask questions rather than make statements. Difficult people often have strong convictions.If you can lead them to see potential flaws in their reasoning without telling them they are wrong, then you can most likely avoid unnecessary conflict.
   • For example, if you politely ask, "Do you see this as a problem?" It can be much more productive than saying, "Your way of judging is not relevant to this issue."
   • Use self affirmations. When you make a statement, it should be about you and not about the other person. This can make it feel like you are not challenging or blaming him.
   • For example, the words "I never received such a letter" are less provocative than "you never sent it to me." Likewise, “I felt disrespectful to me in this remark” may be calmer than “you were very rude”.

Method 3 of 3: Keeping Distance

1. 1 Choose your battles. Sometimes, it is best to leave the person and just let him continue to be difficult. It may be more productive to let a rude remark crash on your back than to engage in what might escalate into a long and heated argument.
   • Likewise, if you have a colleague who is very experienced in a specific matter, then you can tolerate his difficult behavior in order to take advantage of his positive qualities.
2. 2 Limit communication. In some cases, the best thing you can do is simply limit the extent of your interaction with the difficult person by avoiding any unnecessary contact.
   • For example, if the difficult person is someone in your work environment, then you should skip lunchtime or socializing after work to avoid unpleasant interactions with a coworker.
3. 3 Go away. Sometimes the best course of action is to get away from the situation, or even the relationship as a whole. If this is an option, then it is worth reflecting on it.
   • The short-term solution to the problem presented by the difficult person is to say, “I cannot resolve this issue right now. Let's talk about this later, when you and I have both cooled down. "
   • If you have a personal relationship with a difficult person, you may need to consider ending it. It can be difficult, but if you tried to improve the situation and the person in this matter has not changed, then it may not be worth maintaining such a relationship.

Tips

• People who respect you or those with whom you have a close relationship are likely to be open to change. These are often the type of people to deal with, not avoid.
• Think carefully about how you can conserve negativity in the relationship. You may not even know that you did something that made the other person feel threatened, challenged, embarrassed, or resentful.

Warnings

• Be careful when challenging an aggressive bully. These situations can sometimes escalate and become dangerous.
• If the person you are dealing with is too aggressive, then it may be because no one has challenged him yet. Confronting bullies is a good idea, but make sure you are in a safe place with other people in case their aggressive behavior becomes dangerous to you or those around you.