Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Demonstrating Interest
• Method 2 of 3: Maintaining a good conversation rhythm
• Method 3 of 3: Applying Appropriate Body Language

Keeping up a conversation can be difficult at times. Fortunately, there are simple techniques you can use to keep the other person interested in the conversation and continuing the conversation. Demonstrate your interest in the conversation by asking the other person the right questions and listening to their answers. At the same time, try to give the conversation a rhythm that will allow you to achieve mutual understanding with the other person. Also, remember to use open body language so that the other person feels comfortable while communicating with you.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Demonstrating Interest

1. 1 Choose topics of conversation that you know your interlocutor is interested in. In general, people love to talk about themselves and their interests. Therefore, you can support the conversation by discussing those topics that your interlocutor likes.
   • Ask the person questions about school or work, hobbies or hobbies, family and friends, or the past (ask where the person came from or what their family history is).
   • You can also use some contextual clues from the previous parts of the conversation to understand whether it is worth ending the discussion of a topic or if it can be continued. For example, if a person previously mentioned that he was fond of horse riding, you can try to ask him about it or about jockeys, or about how it feels to mount a horse for the first time in life.
2. 2 Ask your interlocutor open-ended questions. Questions that require monosyllabic “yes” or “no” answers can stop the conversation, while other options for questions will open up more possibilities for you. Try to ask open-ended questions that allow the interlocutor to answer them as extensively as he wants.
   • On the other hand, open-ended questions are more demanding on who you have to answer. For example, you shouldn't ask your interlocutor a question like this: "So, you studied abroad for a whole year in 2006, right?" Instead, try asking him, "What is it like to study abroad?" The second variant of the question gives the interlocutor more space to give a detailed answer.
   • If you accidentally asked a question that requires a "yes" or "no" answer, correct with a phrase like this: "Please tell us more about this."
3. 3 Listen carefully to what is being told to you. When it comes to speaking, listening is just as important as speaking. If you know how to actively listen, you have the opportunity to understand the point of view of the interlocutor. Wait for the person to fully express themselves before saying anything. Then, summarize what was said yourself to show the interlocutor that you listened carefully. To do this, you can use the phrase: "It looks like ..."
   • If you do not understand something, ask the interlocutor a clarifying question, for example, of the following type: "Do you mean that ...?"
   • As a good listener, you can bring up any topic in a conversation that was previously touched upon only in passing, in order to continue further communication. For example, you can say: "A little earlier you mentioned that ..."
4. 4 Maintain the other person's desire to speak. The person who is best at listening does more than just sit and stare at their interlocutor during a conversation. Without interrupting the interlocutor, he demonstrates his interest in hearing the continuation. In this he is usually helped by small interjections, like "Ah!" or "Oh?" Also, motivating phrases such as the following: “So what happened next?” Can also inspire the interlocutor to continue his story.
   • The motivation to continue the story can be nods and the reflection on the face of the same emotions as the interlocutor, for example, surprise or sadness.

Method 2 of 3: Maintaining a good conversation rhythm

1. 1 Don't filter what you are going to say. One of the reasons many conversations are short is that both people are thinking about what they should and shouldn't say. When an old topic of conversation has exhausted itself, you cannot immediately understand how appropriate and impressive it will be to voice what comes to your mind. In such a situation, you should adhere to the strategy of laying out to the interlocutor everything that comes to mind, without any analysis.
   • For example, there was an awkward pause in the conversation, and you yourself think about how uncomfortable you are in these high heels. Of course, if you blur out, "Damn it, these heels are just killing me!" - it may seem strange to the interlocutor. But such an honest phrase can lead to talking about the feminist position of not wearing stiletto heels or discussing a funny incident when someone fell due to ridiculously high stiletto heels.
2. 2 Learn to acknowledge embarrassing moments. Even the most successful conversations sometimes run into obstacles that threaten to ruin everything. In this case, the most effective solution to the problem is to recognize it and continue further. Trying to pretend nothing happened can alienate the person you are talking to.
   • For example, if you make a slip or say something offensive, immediately apologize to return to what you started. Don't act like nothing happened.
3. 3 Make the other person laugh. Humor is a great way to keep a conversation going. It also allows you to strengthen the bond with the other person. People are more likely to laugh with their friends, so if you make the other person laugh, you will become closer to him.
   • You don't have to shower the other person with jokes to make someone laugh. Timely sarcasm and sharp words can do the job just as effectively. For example, you have already mentioned your hobby for anime several times in a conversation. After the third time, you might say, "I guess I should stop mentioning anime before you decide I'm obsessed with it ... Although, yes. I'm obsessed with anime. I even carry my favorite character's costume with me ... Just kidding!"
4. 4 Go deeper into the conversation with additional questions. After observing all the initial formalities, the conversation can be moved to a deeper level. Think of the conversation as if it were food: first you eat the appetizer, then you move on to the main course, and then to the dessert. Once you have discussed a couple of superficial topics with your interlocutor, you can go further.
   • For example, you might ask your interlocutor: "What do you do for a living?" After a while, you can go deeper and ask the question: "Why did you choose this particular career?" Usually, “why” questions help you learn more about what has already been said.
   • As you start asking more personal questions, pay close attention to external clues about how comfortable the other person is. If he starts to feel uncomfortable, back off and move on to less personal questions.
5. 5 Don't be afraid of silence. Silence is also useful in communication, so it should not be feared like plague. It helps you catch your breath and collect your thoughts. It can also serve as a signal to change the topic if the discussion has become too boring or, conversely, tense.
   • A few seconds of silence is perfectly normal. Don't try to fill them out right away.
   • However, if the silence drags on, move on to a new topic, using the phrase: "I am interested in learning more about what you mentioned earlier ..."

Method 3 of 3: Applying Appropriate Body Language

1. 1 Demonstrate relaxed body language. Correct body language is essential for keeping the other person comfortable and open when talking to you.If you sit in front of the interlocutor strictly right in your chair, then he may be quite embarrassed by this. To demonstrate your own level of comfort, smile a little and lean back a little in your chair to provide yourself with a less tense position. Alternatively, lean against a wall or pillar in a relaxed manner if you are standing.
   • Another way to show your relaxedness is to relax your shoulders. Lower them down and take them back if they were tense before.
2. 2 Face your interlocutor. Good conversation involves establishing a bond between you and the other person. This connection will not be available if you turn away from the interlocutor. In addition, even if you turn only your legs or body away from the interlocutor, then this will show him your desire to leave. Instead, face the other person with your whole body.
   • To show that you are particularly interested in certain points in the conversation, lean forward towards the other person.
3. 3 Maintain eye contact. Regular eye contact is very important to keep the conversation going. Make eye contact immediately at the very beginning of the conversation. It should then be maintained with regular glances for about 4-5 seconds. Looking away from time to time is okay too! Take a few seconds to study your surroundings before re-establishing eye contact with the other person.
   • Try to look at the interlocutor about half of the time when you are talking yourself, and about 70% when you are listening to the person. This ratio will allow you to maintain optimal eye contact without causing the other person to be embarrassed by your gaze.
4. 4 Don't cross your arms and legs. Crossed arms and legs tell the other person that you have no interest in what they are saying. Also, these postures seem to be restrained and defensive. If you have a habit of crossing your arms or legs, make a special effort to relax your limbs while talking and leave them in place at your sides.
   • It’s okay if it’s a little weird at first. Just try to make an effort on yourself. Over time, things will start to come out more naturally.
5. 5 Use strong postures to show confidence. If you are not very confident in yourself, try to adopt postures that will give you external confidence. When seated, try to lock your hands behind your head with your elbows forward in a “V” shape. In a standing position, a good strong posture will provide you with a hand on your hip.